Can a Change of Environment Spark My Creative Productivity?

change of environment

I’ve always wanted to go on some kind of writing retreat one of these days. When I was younger I had plans to move to New York and there was a plan somewhere in those years to take a trip to travel around Europe for a year and write.

Then of course life happened and obstacles appeared, circumstances changed, and needless to say I never made it to New York and haven’t even made a trip around the United States let alone to Europe. I have a child to think about now and trips outside the country just aren’t in the near future for me, particularly since I am sending her to private school in about a year.

Now I don’t presume to have all the answers as to how I am going to make the plans that I dreamt up decades ago come to fruition but I am definitely not giving up on my European writing trip that I would love to make happen. I suppose it doesn’t hurt to plan for a trip that’s uncertain.

I don’t have the means to do any writing retreats at this particular moment in my life but I know that there have to be some ways to develop a different writing environment to boost my creativity. I haven’t quite figured out what they are yet but I am definitely searching for answers.

I would love to hear your ideas for getting away without actually being able to get away. What are some creative ways you have managed to spark your creative juices and get them flowing? How can you get away to write without really being able to get away?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

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Published in: on September 2, 2014 at 3:05 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Could the Answer Lie in Going Back to the Basics?

Back to Basics 3

Some days I feel like maybe the technology might be hindering my ability to get writing done. I know that that we as evolving writers have to stay connected to social media and network with other writers. We have to, in a sense, keep our name out in the internet atmosphere or else people will forget who you are and move on to the next writer almost without a second thought. But there are times that I feel if I just got back to basics, how I wrote and produced material before I got so heavily into trying to make sure my name stays out there somehow, I think that maybe I might actually be able to re-embrace what made me fall in love with writing to begin with.

When I started writing I only used a notepad and my pen, occasionally a pencil. Sometimes I used a typewriter, even with the option of a computer at my fingertips. It was so easy for me to write then, and I wonder if all of this increased use of technology and increased pressure to know how to navigate my way through social media in order to stay relevant has somehow impaired my creative abilities. I had such an easier time writing and fleshing out storylines when it was just me, my ideas, a pen, and some paper. Words seem to just flow easier to me when I write that way.

I think I stopped using old fashioned pen and paper because it seemed so absurd to do double work by writing with pen and paper only to have to type in on the computer anyway. However, in retrospect, perhaps it wasn’t as absurd as I originally thought. Everything doesn’t work the same for every writer and while I tried to joined to new age technology infused world and not seem so out of touch with the evolution of things, it doesn’t feel like this works for me. The lack of production in my work, I think, is proof that old fashioned works better for me.

This revelation has sparked me to conduct an experiment for my own personal knowledge. For the betterment of my writing career I am going to go very basic, back to my paper and pen for writing (with the exception of my blog posts), for thirty days (starting September 1st) and highly limiting my social media usage during those thirty days. Of course I will do the necessary marketing via social media but as far as obsessively checking stats and Facebook to see if anyone liked my posts or my fan page, that will be eliminated for at least these thirty days. Now I have no idea if this will jolt my creativity and help me get focused again but nothing is harmed by trying it and I truly think it will open my creativity back up again.

Of course I will keep you updated on how this experiment works and if any of you want to join me in my back to basics challenge please feel free to keep me updated on how it’s working out for you. Keeping my fingers crossed that by the end of thirty days I will have finished my novel and started on the next one. Perhaps a little overly ambitious thinking but I have never been one to dream small.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

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Published in: on August 29, 2014 at 8:59 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Trapped Inside My Own Head

Trapped inside my head 1

Knowing is not always half the battle. I know that’s the saying that people like to quote when people admit their flaws and faults. As if to provide comfort and some optimism in the fact that somehow you knowing where you fall short at should propel you into making choices that will progress you as you move forward. Generally I believe that if you don’t know or admit the problem or the flaw that you can’t fix it, however, there are instances where just knowing where you fall short at doesn’t actually help you move forward.

I can admit that I am a person that may at times be too tapped into my emotions, so much so that when I screw up an opportunity or I get down about things not going the direction I want or think they should be I completely shut down creatively. That is actually one of my major flaws that I recognize about myself. I get depressed too quickly when things go in the wrong direction and it takes me far too long to come out of that depression and during the time that I am depressed, quite frankly, I don’t feel creative and I don’t feel much like writing. It’s pretty much the opposite of the typical stereotype of writers, that depression makes writers write masterpieces. I know this about me and I know that it’s something that I need to correct but I’m not sure how.

It’s completely frustrating because I’m in this funk and I can feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into it but on the flip side of that there are all of these ideas that I have and these plans that I want to get accomplished and when it comes down to it, I simply can’t get it done. I always thought that writer’s block was the worst thing that a writer could go through but it’s so much more frustrating to not be blocked as far as ideas and material but yet still not be able to produce anything.

I refuse to give up but it’s tough to see other writers around me coming up with beautiful pieces of work and being successful at their craft and meanwhile I’m too much in an emotional funk to actually produce anything. I want out of this phase but I don’t know how to get out. I don’t know how to just set aside my emotional issues and take these ideas I have building up in my head and just put them on paper. I need to figure this out or else all of my opportunities are just going to slip right through my fingers and I won’t have anyone else to blame but myself.

So if anyone who reads my blog has any suggestions on how I can pull myself out of this funk, this gloomy phase and get out of my own head to finish these projects that I really need to get done, don’t hesitate to suggest something. Everyone needs help at times and oftentimes it’s the help from people who don’t know you personally that could make all the difference. I don’t want to waste this purpose that God has given me so how do I get out of my own head?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

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It’s All in the Small Signs We Sometimes Ignore

Small signs 1

So I just did my very first radio interview this morning for none other than Cyrus Webb of Conversations Live and I have to admit that I was nervous to do it. I have never been big on public speaking which is ironic since I have such a huge message that I want to share with the world. I know that it is something that I must get used to but today I was visibly (well to myself because there was no one else in the room) nervous. I could literally feel my heart racing because I am always worried I won’t say the right things and that I won’t express the Write 2 Be message fully and eloquently. Cyrus immediately made me feel at ease and it was extremely exciting to do this radio interview with him and I was so honored.

In doing the interview it not only allowed me to do something that I was afraid of (speaking publically) but it also showed me that fear does not have to win and that I can conquer my fears, even if only one fear at a time. It is important to remember that fear is okay. Anyone who says that they don’t have any fears is probably not aware of theirs or in denial. The important thing is to conquer those fears and not just give into them. I have many things I am afraid of and as I expressed in my interview this morning one of my biggest fears used to be of being myself. Now of course in recent years I have gradually gotten over that and have learned to be okay with being different and unique but I won’t lie and say that there aren’t still moments when I doubt myself.

Talking to Cyrus this morning also made me realize just how important the work that I am doing with my brand is. It made me realize just how many people are still nervous and afraid to be themselves and who still feel the need to apologize for being who they are and that is something that I most certainly feel the need to work on changing. There is not one person in this world who should have to ever apologize for being who they are and if people realized that the world would be a much kinder, accepting, and peaceful place. God made us who we are and who we will eventually become as we grow and there should never be any shame in that nor should we try and change that.

If we open up to one another and have more in depth conversations with the people around us, the people who we know are struggling with who they are, the people who haven’t even begun to discover themselves yet because they are trying so hard to be someone else, they wouldn’t feel so alone and lost. My interview this morning reinforced just how important my message is and how I am the right person for this message. I have never been more clear than I am today at what God’s purpose is for me and this interview, what it did for me, was not only gave me a little extra boost of confidence that I needed, but it also felt like a sign from God saying to me that I was on the right path and not to worry. A sign that I will not ignore and will not take for granted.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv

A Point of Light

Point of Light

I came across a speech that Tyler Perry made at a conference a couple of weeks ago, nothing too long but as always with anything he has to say it was extremely effective. He spoke about having and being a point of light. Of how we all have that person or those people who have a certain power to pull you out of those deep dark places that your mind can tend to go to when you are struggling along your journey to success. Or that can physically rescue you from a situation that you should no longer be in anymore. He also spoke of how we too can be that point of light for others and that maybe some of us already have been that for people and we may not even realize it. He spoke of how whatever we do in this life should have a purpose, a point, that can help others pull themselves out of that dark place.

After I finished watching his speech I thought about how I hope that I could someday be that for someone else because I could already pinpoint at least three people who have been that point of light for me. Then I thought about my blog and how, even though I am mostly just expressing my own thoughts or opinions about things, sometimes I will come across a comment that someone left me telling me how something I wrote inspired them or helped them that particular day. It gives me chills to think that I might actually be doing what I set out to do when I created my Write 2 Be brand and that all of the ideas that I have for Write 2 Be to inspire others and be a guiding point for those who are cautiously walking along the path of who they are meant to be.

The whole message of Write 2 Be is to get people to understand that you don’t have to worry about what other people or society thinks about, that you should focus on being the very best version of yourself that you can because as much as society can voice their opinion about someone doing this or that, they can’t be that person, they can’t be you. My message is strongly geared at children, particularly those who have been or are being bullied for being different, for being unique, and being special so that these future creative geniuses won’t apologize for being different and so that they don’t feel that they need to be anybody else but who they were born to be. They have that right to be whoever it is they want to be, whoever it is that God placed them on this earth to be.

So I hope that Write 2 Be will be that point of light for these young creative geniuses coming up, and even for the ones who have already created their little niche but struggle with wanting to fit in with everyone else who might not have your unique vision and perspective. I certainly think that Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey, and Cyrus Webb are points of light and of course my best friend who is a media mogul in the making LaMonique Hamilton. They are people who inspire me and show me that if you want something bad enough you can make your dream happen but not only that, that you can help others make their dreams happen as well just by not being afraid to fulfill your purpose and be unapologetically yourself.

So find time this weekend to honor your points of light but also to most importantly be a point of light for others. There is no other more rewarding feeling than knowing that something you did or said helped or inspired someone else, that you were the light that pulled them through, even if only part of the way!

 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv

When Having It All Can No Longer Masks the Pain

hiding behind a smile

The passing of Robin Williams on Tuesday has understandably left the world shocked and speechless. I personally felt like the world lost a little part of its magic because he was such a funny human being that brought so much joy into people’s lives. Obviously I never met him so I can’t speak to who he was with first-hand knowledge but he was one of those people that you always felt, in watching him, that you could relate to him. He was inspiring to watch and on the days when I just didn’t feel like much of anything he made me laugh.

One of the things that I am hearing most is how it could be possible that someone who made everyone around him laugh so much wasn’t happy himself. If anything good comes from his tragic death it is the open forum that it leaves for us to really take a look at what depression is. I find it striking just how many creative people, writers, comedians, actors and actresses, singers, dancers’, just creative types in general, struggle with depression. What’s even more alarming is that the majority of comedians in particular are said to be masking the reality of their inner pain with the outward satisfaction of making others pain go away with a moment’s laughter.

People don’t talk about depression, as if it is something to be ashamed of. And then there are some who just don’t take depression seriously because it is a disease that you can’t see. I know that I personally suffer from bouts of depression and feelings of hopelessness. A lot of my writing serves as my own brand of therapy to cope and sometimes it helps and others it doesn’t. There were many times in my teens and my early twenties that I just didn’t want to be here on this earth anymore and there were attempts made that weren’t successful (obviously) but it’s just never been something to talk about with people. I am only recently starting to talk to my closest friends about the depression that I suffered and that I sometimes still feel creep up inside of me when things seem to not be going right.

Talking about depression doesn’t make it go away but it certainly does help people who are dealing with it feel less alone. In talking with others you sometimes realize that you aren’t the only one who is suffering with this disease. More importantly we need to open up a discussion about it because it doesn’t just strike in adults, it oftentimes starts when you are a child. Children today are going through so much more than people realize from being bullied, to domestic violence in the home, to feeling like you just are not quite good enough. We need to stop being afraid to talk about this disease or feeling stigmatized by it.

Depression hides behind those smiles that you see on your loved one’s faces and it can be covered up with excuses of being tired or purely exhausted, or even in their loss of appetite or on the flip side that sudden urge to devour every item of food in sight because food doesn’t judge you. Depression does not just jump out at you and shout that it’s there and a lot of times the person struggling through it may not even realize that that is in fact what they are struggling with. So pay attention to your loved ones and don’t just downplay a developing pattern of behavior simply because you’re too busy to pay attention to what may really be going on.

I think that Robins Williams’ death shows us that even the most successful and seemingly happy people can have pain inside them that they can’t see their way past. Depression doesn’t just take place in a certain class, culture, or area. It is everywhere and can strike anyone. For those out there that envy the lifestyle of a celebrity (and I am guilty of this too), you should be reminded that you could be the person that seems to have it all, to have everything that would make almost anyone happy, but that does not mean that you are truly happy and that you don’t suffer. No one has to suffer from this alone. If you know someone who you think could be suffering from depression, don’t try and wait for the right moment to do something about it, there isn’t one. And if you are that person, don’t wait until it’s too late to talk to someone about it. Talking really does help.

 

R.I.P. Robin Williams

Robin Williams

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv

Published in: on August 14, 2014 at 12:29 PM  Leave a Comment  
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What Are You Waiting For

What are you waiting for

I saw this wonderful message that was shared through Cyrus Webb’s Facebook page by Shari Alyse about waiting for things to happen in life. It made me think about how I seem to always find myself waiting for that right moment; the right moment to start my business, the right moment to publish my next book, the right moment to launch the next avenue of my business, the right moment to take my magazine into print form bi-monthly.

I realize that I could have accomplished so many things by now if I weren’t waiting for the right time to do something. We don’t get another life to live, we only have this one, and we can either spend it living or waiting for the perfect lives that we want so we can start living that perfect life. The truth is, there is no perfect life, no perfect time, no perfect situation, no perfect scenario and trying to wait until that perfect moment is just going to waste valuable time.

I’m guilty of being a perfectionist and wanting to wait until everything is aligned just right before I even start the process of trying to accomplish a task and I truly feel like that is the reason why I haven’t managed to get half of the things that I wanted done. If we want to live our best possible life then we have to do exactly that, live it. Sitting around and waiting for something to happen or for something to be right in our eyes is not living your life. It is watching everyone else around you live theirs while you’re still sitting there expecting that perfect sign to show up and let you know that you can go get started now.

What are we losing out on when we are waiting for perfect? We are missing the moment that is here now. So in your daily struggle to achieve what’s on your to-do list for this week, or this month, or this year (well the rest of this year), try not to think so much about that perfect moment that may never come. Just start where you are, right now, right in this moment!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv

Published in: on August 5, 2014 at 1:01 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Putting the Mind At Rest

our minds need a break

This past weekend was a very relaxing weekend for me. Even though I had some things throw me off course last Friday and it changed up my plans for the weekend, it turned out to be what I needed. Granted there are countless things that I could have been working on and getting accomplished that quite frankly I am behind on doing. There are plans and lists that could have been made in preparation for things that are to come down the line for Write 2 Be Media that I more than likely should have been working on.

However what I used up my time doing this weekend, aside from spending time with my daughter, was watching TV for the sheer enjoyment of it (and trust me when I watch TV is not always about just enjoying the show, I usually watch it with the editor’s eye and ear—scoping out plot lines that could’ve been written better, by me) and reading my book which I never seem to be able to get the time to really read and enjoy. This weekend I made time for both but mostly the reading. I got so into my book that I almost didn’t want the week to begin because I knew that it meant that it was back to writing and working on so many other things that take me away from being able to read the way that I want to.

Nevertheless, it is Monday and that means the work begins again and the hustle, while it may have gotten halted for over the past weekend, is back on. Sometimes our minds need a break and it is not a bad thing. We can’t, despite the fact that we believe we can, be turned on ALL of the time. Meaning yes we are entrepreneurs, in charge of our own brand, our own calling, our business and obviously when you are running your own business that requires more work than just going to work for someone else but you have to have those shut off moments.

You just can’t do everything all at once, all of the time. You will burn yourself out that way and then in the end you won’t be happy because you will be too tired and burnt out to truly enjoy your success. So I ask that all of you take some time every once and a while to just shut off for a moment. It doesn’t have to be for an entire weekend like I did (even though it was only supposed to be for one day) but maybe just a day or if you are really a control freak and can’t even fathom turning your business brain off for any period of time, then just a few hours.

Do something that relaxes you and that you enjoy that doesn’t require you to think about your business (at least not constantly). Do something that you haven’t been able to do for a while because you’ve been so consumed with your business. You need that time away from your business before your business becomes something that you no longer enjoy and that’s something that you definitely don’t want. You only have this one life to live to its fullest so enjoy it.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv

Published in: on August 4, 2014 at 3:00 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Success Doesn’t Come Early for Everyone…And Sometimes That’s a Good Thing

Success late in life 2

I know I’m not the only person who, growing up, didn’t look at some of these child TV and music stars and think to themselves “that could or should be me” or “I’m just as good as them if not better”. Most children will say it to themselves and ten minutes later not even give it a second thought. However, if you were an artistic child, a creative type, someone who always aimed to color outside the lines simply because the lines limited the creation that you dreamt up in your mind, then you probably really meant it when you thought it. I know that I did.

I had visions of being a singer by the time I was in my early twenties (and that was at the latest) and a New York Times Best Selling Author at least by the time I turned twenty-five. With each passing year that my dream slipped by me I grew more and more doubtful of the talents that not only I thought I had but that mostly everyone around me had seen. I would look at the lives of these child stars being played out in the media for all the world to see and think I should be traveling from this place to that place and singing on this stage and that one, doing countless television appearances for my latest novel on the NY Times list and having my pick of any place I wanted to live without any worries.

Now don’t get me wrong, I was never jealous. I am always happy when I see someone succeeding (well someone deserving anyway—hey I’m not a saint and yes I do think that some do not deserve the success they have), I just happen to have always thought I should be one of them. And even when I saw child stars blowing it, royally, getting arrested, getting hooked on drugs, having issues with alcoholism, going bankrupt and just throwing away all of their money on such frivolous things, I would think they just don’t know how to appreciate what they have.

But of course you cannot be envious of everyone’s life because you don’t know what it’s like to walk in their shoes and be under the pressure that they are and to literally be under a microscope for everyone to see your mistakes. A lot of them don’t make it, they wash out, and they give up before they even hit thirty and then the public is left to wonder “where are they now”. When I think about it in those terms, I have to wonder if maybe God knew that that life was not meant for me to have at such that young of an age.

Obviously I can’t say with an absolute certainty that I wouldn’t have been humble enough to appreciate that kind of life at that early of an age but looking back, with my childhood, I definitely think that I would have had more access to some coping mechanisms that I would have more than gladly (at that time anyway) taken advantage of. I can’t say that I would have known how to handle the life I say I wanted at that time. I was very starved for things around that young age and into my twenties because at that time I hadn’t learned how to love myself yet and I thought things were going to heal what was wrong on the inside so that is probably where my money would have went. And honestly, as suicidal as I was during that time period I can’t say that I would even still be here anymore if I had gotten the lifestyle that I thought I wanted at that time.

I wasn’t humble enough to appreciate those things at that stage of my life. I think God knew exactly what he was doing and he knew that I had to heal the inside of me first before I could truly appreciate a lifestyle that was on the next level. I think that when you get to live that kind of life at such a young age and that is all that you know, then you don’t know or appreciate what it is to be without it. Success doesn’t last for everyone and when I think of all of those that have succeeded in the ways that I plan to succeed (Russell Simmons, Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, Bill Gates, etc.) then I think about the fact that none of them attained success early on. They all had a humbling life before they achieved all of the success that they have now. That humble life allows them to appreciate the things and abilities that they have even more because they know what it’s like not to have them.

I think those who attained success without any effort, without any failures are actually at a disadvantage because they don’t know how to handle having nothing. They don’t know what failure feels like to appreciate the feeling of succeeding. Oftentimes we tend to want to rush into things because we see what we want to see. The outcome that we perceive may be one that is unrealistic and possibly not even going to be what is in our best interest but our perception can be clouded. I think that we sometimes need the experience of many failures to appreciate the reward that is coming down the line. Our mistakes are what breeds the foundation for our successes and when we learn to not just embrace them but to be proud of them and celebrate them then we will be even more prepared for the successes in life that we say we want.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv

Published in: on August 1, 2014 at 4:19 PM  Leave a Comment  
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I Sometimes Struggle to Believe in the Potential God Sees in Me

Seeing the Potential that God Sees 3

For the most part I am typically an optimistic person. I have plenty of setbacks that make me doubtful sometimes but I try to remain dedicated and stick to this path because I feel deep down that it is the right one that God wants me on to reach my destined purpose. However, that is not to say that I don’t have moments (a lot more of them than I care to admit) where I question whether I am letting God down.

I know that there are things that I should be doing that I don’t always manage to get done, things that would go a long way in the efforts to get to where I’m trying to go. I am guilty of wasting time that I don’t really have to waste. I am guilty of getting frustrated to the point of just wanting to give up and be just plain lazy. I am guilty of feeling so overwhelmed with all of the things that I want to do that I convince myself that it’s just too much and it can’t be done so why even bother trying. I tell myself a lot of things that eventually lead me to talking myself out of trying. I let the fear of not succeeding at what I want cause me to do the very thing that I don’t want to do which is give up.

I’m not in that mindset of giving up right now but I am starting to feel that sense of being overwhelmed with all of the things that it is that I want to do and all of the plans that I have to get accomplished and the fear that I may not achieve it. I have this list, this very long list, of life goals, of things that I want my company to achieve. I have a purpose for my Write 2 Be brand and in my mind I see it so clearly. I can even map out on paper (although not quite as concise as it forms in my brain) exactly the direction I want everything to go. I have even listed everything, all the steps, I need to go through to get it at least going in the direction I want it to go. Then the reality sets in.

The reality that my dreams may be just a little too big and that with all that needs to be done, I may be out of my depth here. The reality that I might have somehow set the bar for myself just a bit too high, and then the fear that I can’t reach my own bar that I set. The reality that with every second that I am sleep there is something that could be getting done. The reality that I cannot physically go on absolutely no sleep which is probably what it would take for me to achieve ALL that it is I am setting out to do. Then I start to feel that overwhelming sense of failure.

I start to feel like I am not only letting God down, but my daughter, and of course myself. I place a lot of stock in my potential but what happens if I don’t live up to that. What happens if I can’t live up to what God’s purpose for my life is? What if I am simply not good enough? These are the kinds of things that run through my mind, daily, and almost every minute of the day, and I am sure (at least I hope) that I am not the only one who has felt this way. I feel like I have to acknowledge those fears within myself or else they will never go away.

While I know that they will never go away completely, I have to believe that the sense or the urge to give up will fade away from the forefront of my mind. I have to believe that I will one of these days just wake up and look in the mirror and say “I get it God, I get what you see in me and I can do this because you said I could”. While I am not quite all the way there yet, I must say, I am miles away from how I used to feel about all of this. It’s a start and we all have to start somewhere. I hope that this week is as productive for you as I plan on it being for me and I hope that you will try to remember, as I will, that God’s purpose for you is nothing to be afraid of!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

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Published in: on July 28, 2014 at 3:06 PM  Comments (1)  
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