Will Write For…

Will write for 1

I am continually shocked at the questions that I get asked when it comes to my writing career, even more so at the assumptions that people make about it. When I say I am a writer people tend to respond “okay but what do you do for a living, as your day job” and my response is the same, I am a writer. I swear that it seems that unless you are on the New York Times Bestseller list (of which I plan to be on someday) or unless you are writing for a television show or a script for a movie that is already in production, then people don’t seem to take a person being a writer seriously. As if the people who got all of those accolades arrived there magically without putting in the hard work for little to nothing.

I am what some may call a starving artists’ except that I make sure that neither I nor my child, are never starving. Yes I might live from paycheck to paycheck, or in this instance, from assignment to assignment, but if I am going to survive (sometimes barely) that way then at least I am proud to be struggling to survive by doing something that I love and am so passionate about. Of course there are hundreds and thousands of people who do the regular job by day and then work on their dream by night and I did that for a while but I couldn’t keep that up because what ended up suffering was my dream and I just couldn’t allow that to happen.

When asked (repeatedly might I add) why would I struggle at solely being a writer, give up so many of the luxury things that I would love to do, both by myself and with my daughter, have to decline so many activities that I would love to be able to do, just to make barely enough to cover my bills and most of my necessary needs. My answer is always simple. Because it was what I was meant to do with my life, it is my calling, and I can’t devote fully to my calling and purpose if I’m devoting half of my time to someone else’s calling and purpose.

I write for many reasons. I write to say all of things that I can’t say out loud. I write to express feelings that I think no one else will care about. I write to deal with the hurt that I have felt for most of my life. I write to invent a life that I have always wanted and have not managed to attain yet. I write to cope with the harshness of this world. I write to get away from the criticism of others. I write to survive. But mostly I write for those who feel what I feel, go through what I have gone through, and can’t express what they really want to say, because I want to be a change in their lives. I want to inspire and help others heal. I want to give pieces of myself so that others can realize that it’s not just them that feel that way. I became a writer because I want to be the change in this world that I want to see and I use my words to do that.

Every time that I was working on someone else’s dream by day and had to minimize the work on my dream to the few hours a night that I got it was like dying a slow death, a little every day. Now that I don’t do that, now that my dream is my sole focus, yes I may not have things as easy as I would like to, the struggle some days might even feel too overwhelming, but I come alive more and more with the nurturing of my dream. I may not be wealthy (and not saying that wealth is not in my future) in terms of money but I am wealthy in my peace of mind, and in my heart, and in the joy that I feel from knowing that each day I am that much closer to my dream.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

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Published in: on July 23, 2014 at 4:29 PM  Leave a Comment  
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What All Can Go Right

What if everything goes right

I live in the land of worst case scenarios where I prepare for whatever there is that can possibly go wrong and for what I would need to do to fix things if they should go wrong. I don’t think that I am alone in doing this. I think that the world has grown so cynical that in planning for our futures in which we want to soar and fly, we brace ourselves for that harsh landing that quite frankly, often times never actually comes.

I mean sure we fall and we have bad breaks where things don’t quite go the way that we wanted them to. But in reality those are not actually the harsh landings that we are bracing ourselves for. I forget sometimes to prepare for the successes, to purposely plan for things to go right. I spend so much time being completely over prepared for the other shoe that’s definitely (in my mind anyway) going to drop, and for the rock bottom that I’m going to hit (and thankfully never truly have) someday soon if things don’t improve, and for everything that I have ever dreamed of achieving to float right by me as I watch someone else reach out and grab ahold of what was supposed to be my success. None of these things have ever happened. That’s not saying of course that they couldn’t still, but they haven’t.

I’ve been waiting all of this time for everything to go wrong instead of preparing and actually believing that everything could go right. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if I haven’t had my share of the bad breaks and the things that come crashing down around me but what I neglect to realize oftentimes is that about eight times out of ten everything that seemingly went wrong turned out to work out in a better way than I had imagined and planned for them to. I spent so much time thinking of all the negatives and forgot that even in a negative outcome, something positive can come from that. I need to stop always thinking about the walls that may crumble and start thinking that even if they do, what beautiful new direction can come from the wreckage.

There are beautiful things that can come out of even the most painful and disheartening situations. We just have to be open to them and prepare for what is good instead of bracing ourselves for what is bad. When we brace ourselves we are closing ourselves off and tightening up. We don’t have our arms and hands open and free to receive all the good that is coming our way. So start realizing what it is to truly let go. Open up and surrender to ALL that life has in store for you, the good, the bad, and yes, especially the unplanned. Sometimes the best moments in life cannot be planned out beforehand. Let go and let God!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

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Published in: on July 22, 2014 at 4:38 PM  Leave a Comment  
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With a Sense of Urgency

create a sense of urgency

There is nothing like doing work for someone else’s dream, or someone else’s project that will motivate you to get back to tackling yours. In the most recent couple of weeks I have been working on another project that did not allow for me to consistently work on my own projects for that time period. Now what’s funny was that while my projects are very important to me and the need to get them accomplished is great, the sense of urgency did not present itself until I was unable to work on them.

It is funny what becomes urgent and even more important when the ability to do them is not there. I looked at the stacks of work pertaining to my project and longed to jump to work on them but was mindful that in order to finish the task that I had before me, I could not. I looked at my desk and thought of the hundred or so different ways to reorganize it and clear the present clutter from the top of it in order to be more efficient about getting my work done when the opportunity was restored to me. I had so many ideas of what to do with this character and that character once I was able to return to working on my novel(s).

It’s ironic how when we have the time (some of us anyway) for our own work to get accomplished we waste that time on things that in the end don’t really matter to us, television shows that could be recorded and watched another time, outings that are not in line with our goals, or even people who do not get our dream and just how important it is. When that time, that choice is taken out of our hands suddenly everything that we should’ve been focused on becomes so much more important and then we reflect on that wasted time and beat ourselves up for wasting it.

I have wasted quite a bit of time this year, I’ll admit, on things that were just procrastination tactics and ways to keep myself from enduring the worst case scenarios (which I will talk about in my post tomorrow) when in reality, in avoiding the worst case scenario, an even more negative thing happened. So now that the project has concluded, I am going to stop wasting that time and get back to this blog (which I’ve missed so much) and back to finishing my novel(s) and my ebook. Oh and I guess cleaning off my desk wouldn’t be a terrible thing to do either. Well it’s good to be back and remember to plan your time wisely and don’t waste it on things that don’t matter as much to you as your dream does. No one is going to make your dreams come true for you.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Published in: on July 21, 2014 at 4:17 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Not All At Once: Multitasking Does Not Always Equal Productivity

multitasking

I am one of those people that feels like they should be doing about twenty different things at one time. We all know that multitasking is something that writers have to have a handle on if they want to get an extraordinary amount of things accomplished. However, there does come a point in working on various different projects in your writing career, or any career really, where you are going to have to make one thing the focal point and everything else is going to have to fade to the background, just a little bit.

My problem is that I still want to believe that I am as excellent at multitasking as I once used to be (in my teens and twenties) when I could balance four or five different projects at the same time and devote equal time to them. Now it feels as if the more I try to balance different projects the more I end up slacking on something. I think that I am being productive to work on several things at once and try to give equal time to all but it just isn’t possible (not for me anyway).

Now I am in no way saying that multitasking is not in some ways productive. What I’m saying is thinking that you can devote an equal amount of time to all of the projects that you are working on isn’t. I think that if you are working on about three projects at a time (and I think that it should be kept to three) you have to know which project to place the priority on and let the other two be the secondary concern. That way the most important project gets accomplished.

This is a lesson that I am learning now and am going to start trying implement myself because trying to place priority on every project equally has caused me to fall behind on a project that should’ve been done already. So for all you multitasking writers out there remember that you can’t accomplish everything at once. Some things are going to have to wait so don’t end up accomplishing nothing by trying to accomplish everything.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

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Published in: on July 1, 2014 at 4:59 PM  Leave a Comment  
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What Determines Your Success?

Definition of success

I read an article the other day about signs that you are in fact succeeding in life even if you feel as though you are not. Before I even began to read it I was already guessing that more than half of the signs on their list were going to be things that I have not accomplished yet. I have this idea set up in my mind of what determines if someone is successful and in my eyes I am nowhere near the level of success that I had hoped I would be by now or that I think I should be by now. I have a long way to go before I get half of the things on my list accomplished. However, after reading this article I can see that maybe my evaluation of what is successful was a little off.

This article described being a success as being someone who has had growth in themselves, in their personal and professional life, in how they deal with things. It described success as having family and people that cared about them and people to lean on for support. It described being able to feel like home in whatever place you reside and raising the standards you have for yourself. It described a great deal of things that I never even thought would be someone’s idea of successful, it certainly wasn’t what I had in my mind under that label.

I’ve never been all about making money but let’s be honest, when most people think of their level of success, money is certainly a factor. It was never my absolute desire to be rich with massive amounts of money (not that I would turn it down if the opportunity presented itself) but to live a life that’s comfortable where I don’t have to worry about having enough for me and my child, yes that would be nice. When I ran down the list in the article I realized that 20 out of the 25 things on it I could say were true for myself. It made me sit back and think that maybe I’m not failing at things as badly as I often times feel that I am and maybe what I see as not having it all together, someone else sees as having it together enough for the moment I am in.

I think that sometimes we get these ideas in our heads of what the standard of success and fulfillment are and we don’t realize sometimes that the little things that we are taking for granted could be so many other people’s ideas of what success is. We think that simple is not the answer but sometimes in this life, in the moment that we are in, simple is more than enough. I think that I am going to start viewing my ideas of what having it all really means and whether or not having it all is truly someone having it all. All of what would be the important question.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Published in: on June 26, 2014 at 6:41 PM  Leave a Comment  
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There Are No Other Options

There are no other options

It’s a sad thing that there are some people in this world who only want to see you fail. They want to see you as someone you’re not so that they can justify wanting you to have nothing and no one. They will see you with a glimpse of something good, whether it be an innocent friendship or a direction for your life that they may not have, and they want to rip it away from you so that they can have the satisfaction of seeing you knocked down. I don’t understand these people. I don’t operate that way and I don’t understand the people that do.

I am not a person who is very open or trusting and it is true that I don’t have a lot of friends but that is because I’ve had a lot in the past and have been burned by so many that I would just rather not go through the trouble. I think that it is a better thing to have one or two really good friends rather than a whole lot of false ones. I am guarded, extremely guarded, but when I do let people in, then I am a very all in type of person no matter what the nature of the relationship, whether it is business, romantic, or just a friendship.

I also don’t share my dreams with just anyone either, because too many people won’t understand it and they will find ways to trivialize it, or to try and rationalize it and there just simply aren’t any. I am getting used to being the target for people, to people always taking my weaknesses and using them against me, to people taking the things I value the most and treasure deeply and basically demolishing them the best way that they can.

I think the more that people try to knock me down and the more times I have to keep pulling myself back up (and I admittedly stay down way longer than I should) the more I realize that I don’t have any other choice than to succeed at what it is that I am striving to do with my business and with my life in general. I am not only motivated by passion for what I want to do in my business but also by the people that desire to see that I never have it.

I refuse to give the people who want to see me down to nothing the satisfaction of seeing me fail. I just can’t let that be an option. So the only other option I have is to succeed. If that means that I have to be a hardened person who everyone abandons then so be it because when I get to where it is that I am going everyone who ever doubted me, who ever ridiculed me, who ever purposely tried to destroy me, and whoever abandoned me when I needed them the most, well they are going to be the ones who wished that they had held on for the ride. I will not give them the satisfaction. Failure is not an option.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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http://write2bemagazine.com/

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Published in: on June 25, 2014 at 4:41 PM  Leave a Comment  
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It’s Okay To Be a Dreamer

It's okay to be a dreamer

There are so many people that I hear give up on their dreams (or at least on dedicating their entire focus to their dreams) for the purpose of being there for their family, mainly the children. Some people feel like if they are too focused on the dream that they have that it will take too much focus away from their children and that their children would end up resenting them for it. In all honesty, it is possible that the dream that one has for their life, for fulfilling their purpose, could very well place attention heavily on the efforts that need to be taken to commit to that dream and yes the children may initially feel slighted.

However, I fully believe that if we don’t go after our dreams, focused and driven, then we are telling our children (inadvertently of course) that they can’t or shouldn’t go after theirs. We can’t drive home the point to our children that whatever they dream for their future can become reality if they work towards it and not show them by example that it is in fact true. Essentially our children need for us to follow our dreams and see them all the way through because they need to see that it’s possible and they need to see that you mean what you say to them when you tell them to do the same thing. We can’t preach something to our children if we are not in fact practicing it.

For everyone who has ever felt guilty (myself included) for taking the dream you have and committing to it wholeheartedly and putting that dedication and hard work in to get that dream accomplished. Please know that while it often times does not feel like you are doing what is in the best interest of your children, your family, the reality is that you are doing your absolute best for them. You are showing them that this matters to you. You are showing them that no matter how many people will tell you that you can’t, you absolutely can.

You are teaching your children that not only can they allow themselves to dream big but that they should do everything that they can to make that dream happen. You are giving them the example and the blueprint to follow for when it’s their turn to go full force for their dreams. So the next time you are wondering if you are doing the right thing by being dedicated to what you are doing remind yourself that you’re not only doing this for yourself, but for your children as well, so they won’t be afraid to go after their dreams. You are leading them to their destiny by following the path to yours.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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The Past Is Always Close By, Just Don’t Live There

Don't live in the past

It is true that you cannot live in the past and that you have to learn to put past regrets or hurts aside and move forward for your own sake if no one else’s. It is also true that there are some things that happen in one’s childhood that take its toll on an individual that they sometimes don’t recover from, or at least not quickly. What I can’t stand is when people try and tell you how long it is supposed to take you to get over those moments in the past that hurt you or those things you wish you had never done.

I’ve talked about my childhood many times here and in a way it’s often times therapeutic for me to get some things out that I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone about, reason being that there are some with the stance of get over it already. Let me just say that my level of confidence in myself, or lack thereof, is a result of having a mother who not only physically and verbally abused me, but emotionally abused me too. When your mother tells you that you are never going to be anything at some point you actually start to believe it.

When you are a child is hard to dismiss anyone’s criticism of you but when it is the criticism of one or both of your parents then it is damn near impossible to dismiss it. As a child you look to your parents for confirmation, for guidance, and for reassurance. You need them to tell you that you are important, not to just them but to this world that you are in and that if you want to change the world then you have that power to do so. You need them to build your self-esteem up so that you can go out and conquer whatever it is in this world that you want to. When you are not given that it does something to you.

It’s one thing if you can get that guidance from other strong figures in your family but when it just isn’t there it does some damage to what should be your self-esteem. I personally had to build my own self-esteem up and honestly I’m still not completely where I should be yet in my level of self-esteem and confidence. But when people say to me you have to let what your mother did, or rather didn’t do for you go it infuriates me. It’s not that I don’t get that, it’s the fact that they don’t realize that it’s not going to happen with the snap of my fingers.

My childhood pain, the lack of love from my childhood, it’s still there right on my shoulder to smack me in the back of my head every time I start to actually move past it. It’s in that doubt that I feel whenever there’s something that I know I should go for but convince myself that I’m not good enough to go for it. People don’t realize that I didn’t really start to love myself until I was already an adult, with a child of my own, and that I had to build that up by myself.

Yes the past is something that you should not live in and you should most certainly forgive those in your past who have hurt you and done damage that was almost unable to be repaired. However, we all know that your past is a part of you, whether good or bad, it is what molds you and shapes you into being the person you are now, so our past is never truly behind us. It is there to remind us of where we came from, how much we have come through to get where we are now, and more importantly, particularly if it is a painful past, it is there to show us how strong we actually are. We are not who we were in the past, but we most certainly wouldn’t be who we are now without that same past.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

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Published in: on June 19, 2014 at 3:28 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Boxes on a Shelf

boxes on a shelf

I was watching a Joel Osteen Sermon this past Sunday and as always his message was something that I could really relate to and that resonated with me right at that moment. He spoke about having faith in yourself and in your abilities enough to ask God for what he already said was yours. You know we pray for the things we want out of life and finagle our way around obstacles in order to achieve them. But I think that perhaps if we were more sure about the fact that those opportunities that we want and that we see for our future are already in God’s plan and that they are already ours to grab ahold of we wouldn’t worry so much while we are praying about whether or not they are going to come to pass.

Joel used a metaphor that our opportunities are like moments that are all in boxes, lined up on shelves, in this massive warehouse in heaven, just waiting for the people whose names are on those boxes to actually ask for them. It made me wonder just how big my box of opportunities would be because I know that I am one of those people that while I am praying for my opportunities and wishing that they would come true, I am also crossing my fingers to cover all my bases.

Crossing your fingers is not a sign of true faith, and neither is worrying while you are praying. It’s so funny because I have no trouble believing in other people’s dreams and in the fact that their opportunities will come to fruition but when it comes to mine, it’s like I let all of those demons of doubt cloud what I know in my heart. I don’t want to get to the end of my journey and see my opportunities sitting in these boxes on some shelf just waiting, unclaimed, and unused.

There’s so many other things that I am unsure of in this life but my purpose, my desire to change this world for the better with my message and through writing and other media avenues, that’s not something that I am unsure of. So while you are seeking your opportunities and praying for the doors of opportunity to be opened for you are you crossing your fingers or are you surrendering in faith? It makes a difference on whether or not the right doors will be open or not.

You can’t receive all of the blessings and opportunity that God has planned for you with your fingers crossed because then you are not fully prepared to receive them. So try having absolute faith that what is meant for your life, the opportunities and changes that you have been waiting for, will come to you. And when you have that absolute faith, that unshakable belief, then ask for ALL of what it is that you want. Not some, not just enough to get by, not just one door and then you’ll worry about the next door when you get to it, ask for it ALL. Aren’t you worth EVERYTHING it is that you want?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://write-2-be.com/

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Published in: on June 18, 2014 at 3:13 PM  Leave a Comment  
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The Circle Surrounding You

The circle around you

Last week was a very blatant reminder of why I keep my walls up and am not so quick to let just anybody in my little bubble. I get hassled all the time about the need to trust people and allow people to get close to me. However, some things transpired last week with the few people that I have recently let get close to me which quickly knocked me over the head with a reminder that I just can’t trust a whole lot of people.

I hear all the time that maybe people are so spiteful towards me because there’s something that they see in me that they are jealous or envious of and I could never wrap my mind around that concept because I always feel that there are so many things that I lack. I mean yes I have a lot going for me, and while my confidence does waiver from day to day sometimes from the ultimate low to other days being at the ultimate high, I still have a stronghold on what my dreams and my purpose here are and I’m not giving up until I get there. But I never think of those things as something that anyone would have to be envious of.

I am envious of the people that have it already together and are where they always wanted to be. However, I have to remind myself that people’s perception of things, my perception of things, are not always evenly linked. What I see as them having it together might be them trying not to let people see that they are falling apart and what I see in myself as falling apart might be, in their eyes, me getting it together slowly but with a solid foundation. A solid foundation is everything and can often times be the difference between you having everything you wanted for only a moment’s time and you having everything you wanted for a lifetime.

People say that you should only really depend on yourself and I never really wanted to let myself get so cynical where I truly felt that way but I am starting to understand what is meant by that. It’s not saying that you don’t need someone around you, someone in your life to lean on from time to time, but rather that you have to be able to lean on yourself, to believe in yourself, and to build your own confidence up for yourself and that you can’t expect validation from others and for them to believe in you for you. Essentially, your circle can’t be filled with people who aren’t for you and who don’t push you to be for yourself. Also with that, you can’t rely on the circle that surrounds you for something that you have to find within yourself.

When you can’t find it in yourself first then you start to let people in your circle who are not really for you and who don’t want to see you move forward and they will cause you to second guess yourself and to rethink what your purpose really is. Don’t get so caught up in having a circle of people around you that you can’t see who in that circle is truly for you and who is against you. Don’t try and make your circle fill the void of what you are looking for within yourself because then you end up trying to please them instead of fulfilling your purpose.

Watch closely the people who are around you. Are they like-minded people? Are they rooting for you? Are they challenging you to move forward? Or are they making you question everything that you already know in your heart is meant for you? Think about who you are allowing yourself to trust and decide have they earned it or are they just trying to distract you from your purpose?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

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Published in: on June 17, 2014 at 4:12 PM  Leave a Comment  
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