I think that in some way, shape, or form, for the better part of my life I have always sought out the encouragement of others. I was always the one wanting those accolades and that reinforcement that I was on the right path and that someone else thought I was talented. I was always looking for someone to show me, or tell me, that I was good enough because for so long I was told that I wasn’t.
As I have gotten older and learned a lot more about myself and my own capabilities I have sought out other’s motivations a lot less and started to learn to begin how to motivate myself that much more. However, there are times when I get too much inside my own head and those doubts and those negative words come back to the forefront of my mind and I start to wonder am I really good enough. I hold myself back from doing a lot of things and I’m not sure if it’s that I truly don’t have all of the resources that I need to really go after these things I want or if it’s that I am afraid that those voices of people who said I wasn’t good enough will be proven right.
I will say that I am getting better with not questioning my own talent and ability so much but I know that I have a long way to go before I have absolutely no doubts in my mind at all. I keep thinking that I am finally past that point where I need someone else to make me feel like I am as good as I think I am most of the time but then it creeps up on me. I need to learn, really learn how to keep myself motivated and not looking to others to reinforce what I already know, deep down inside, to be true.
It is true what they say about motivation being the key to success and the key to leading a life without fears but motivation but who is the question. I think that we writers especially feel like we need to hear those accolades and those words of adoration in order to consider ourselves good which makes sense because writing is in fact a career in which you depend on your readers liking your work to gauge your success.
I find that with the writers who have had that level of success that they sometimes didn’t realize they were looking for, it was often said that they wrote the book that they wanted to read, they wrote for themselves more so than anyone else and that is why their work was such a success. When we do things to please ourselves and not the general public we get more results and we are a lot more satisfied. Maybe there is a lesson in that. You have to give yourself the accolades before you can expect anyone else to give them to you. So have you given yourself the accolades that you deserve lately? If not then start today!
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