Month: March 2010

In the Pursuit of…

March 28, 2010 jcladyluv

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it truly means to be in the “Pursuit of Happiness” and if it really is as hard to attain as we sometimes make it out to be. Then I began thinking about whether or not those of us who are pursuing happiness are in actuality going after the wrong thing. I mean don’t get me wrong, we all want our little piece of happiness whenever we can get it but what about the moments of sadness that we have in between. Do those moments just overshadow all that we have achieved and allow the good moments in our lives to get lost in the pursuit? Are we pursuing something that is impossible to maintain? Have you ever stopped to ask yourself whether you were content with trying to find your happiness or if you would rather be satisfied in finding your joy?

The two, although similar in meaning, mean different things depending on the person you are asking. While happiness is very much desired by all, it is fleeting. It is a feeling that even when reached can not really be kept. It’s one of those emotions that when we can get it, we grab hold of it but still have to understand that it will not last. I believe that people’s pursuit of happiness is more so based on the assumption that there is an ideal that we need to match up to. It’s more about what feelings we project to others and what others see when they look at us and examine our lives. If life is based on obtaining happiness, then we will always fall short because life is always changing and what we need to be happy will change right along with it. We can choose whether we want to be happy or not but generally what will make us happy at one particular moment will not keep us happy throughout our lifetime.

Joy, while intertwined with happiness, isn’t dependant on your circumstances and unlike happiness it requires no effort. It is something much deeper then anyone can see and is something that is constant. Joy is that feeling that you still feel deep down in your soul even if you aren’t happy and your world may very well be crumbling around you. It is what gets you through those periods of sadness where you might wonder if you will ever be happy again. It last through your trials in life and is what gives you strength that you sometimes don’t even realize that you have. When trying so hard to pursue your happiness you may sometimes overlook the joy that is right in front of you. Having joy, to me, says that you are at peace within yourself and that is a step beyond happiness.

In examining the two I’ve come to believe that happiness has more to do with what you have and what can be attained where as Joy is about who you are inside. Joy is about what is in your heart and what’s in your spirit. I think that maybe the key to finding your happiness lies in truly discovering your joy. If you were to loose everything that you felt made you “happy” tomorrow would you still have that feeling of inner peace within. If not then maybe happiness isn’t what you should be in pursuit of. Happiness can come and go in an instant but joy can last a lifetime. Once you have found your joy no one can use it, no one can borrow it and no one can ever take it away.

Jimmetta Carpenter

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Release Date To Be Announced)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

Time Waits For No One

March 25, 2010 jcladyluv

It seems no matter what things in life that you push aside and what responsibilities you overlook for the day you never get the time to yourself that you so desperately need and deserve. It may often seem like our lives have just become a series of tasks to complete rather than moments to enjoy. But whatever happened to making every moment count? Did it get replaced with the job, the kids, the housework, the friends and the bills that never go away? At what point did we abandon our responsibilities to ourselves and our own sanity? And at what point do we stop and take some time for ourselves without any interruptions? Have we somehow managed to put our needs on a shelf that we can no longer reach?

Okay getting a moment to yourself without interruptions may never really happen but in theory it’s certainly something to strive for. As a mother, and a writer among many other things I find that it always seems like you just never have enough time to do everything it is that you want to do. But who does. My problem, however, isn’t knowing how to make time for myself. I’m the opposite. I always manage to sneak in a little relaxation or a late night movie with a snack here and there. My problem is that I tend to feel guilty about the time that I do steal for myself. I sometimes feel as though I shouldn’t have stopped to take that moment and that there is so much more that I could be doing or writing with that little “break” in time. But I’ve realized lately that I had the right idea all along and that maybe those little “breaks” in time are what keep me going.

If I always kept going and never stopped to appreciate what I have and the fact that I made it through yet another day I think that I quite possibly would’ve gone crazy by now. There’s no sense in feeling like your at your wits end and wanting to pull your hair out if you can avoid all of that by simply stopping to breathe and regain your thoughts. I often feel like those moments I’ve stolen for myself are one’s that I could’ve used to write something worthwhile but if I hadn’t taken those moments I wouldn’t have had ideas for other stories and other projects and I’d find myself hitting a mental wall more often than not. When I don’t take the time for myself I begin feeling frustrated, and overwhelmed and I start to loose sight of what’s important to me. Sometimes I just have to stop doing for a while and just be.

It’s an odd concept but I sometimes think that people with a full life really have no life at all because they never take the time to enjoy it. They are consumed with the day to day worries of the children, and the friends, the boyfriend or the spouse, and those ever so popular bills that you think if you give your undivided attention to will somehow go away. They never just go take a walk and soak up the environment, or go out to eat by themselves to just enjoy their own company. They are so busy taking care of everything and everyone else that they forget about themselves and just put themselves off until later. But how long can you really put yourself off? Taking time for yourself brings a sense of peace, renews your thoughts and taps into that creative energy that you may not even know you possess. Don’t take time for granted because it tends to fly by when nobody’s looking. I’m not saying that you should all of a sudden neglect the rest of your responsibilities but while you’re looking after everyone else, who is it that’s supposed to look after you?

Jimmetta Carpenter

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Release Date To Be Announced)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

Leave Your Regrets At The Door

March 23, 2010 jcladyluv

There are always going to be mistakes in our lives that we wish we hadn’t made and things in our lives that we tend to regret. The problem lies in when those mistakes and those regrets start to take up too much of our thought process. We either forget the good things that might’ve come out of those mistakes or we dwell on the regrets so much that we can’t get our lives back on the right path. What if we are so stuck on regretting what we didn’t get accomplished or not being at the place in life that we feel we should be that those regrets start to turn into procrastination and even worse, excuses. Okay so you’ve now realized where it is that you went wrong. Are you going to keep dwelling on that regret and that mistake or are you going to stop turning that regret into your next excuse and get your life back on track and back into high gear.

I say this as I am really just now beginning to fully understand it but our past is not our present nor does it have to be our future. So often we become so obsessed with all of the regrets we have over what goals we were unable to achieve that we end up convincing ourselves that it is too late for those goals and that we are doomed to fail at anything we do. Regretting what you did or didn’t do doesn’t enhance you in any way. In reality all it does is drain you emotionally, physically, and spiritually. We can’t allow our regrets to keep us chained to a prison of should of’s, could of’s and would of’s or else we will never turn them into a reality. Plain and simple, regrets are just a waste of time, and time that none of us have to waste.

We don’t plan on making as many mistakes in our lives as we do. We make plans and navigate paths on how to get to our destination and just assume that everything will turn out the way we intend for them to. We don’t leave much room for any error or account for any mistakes so of course we are taken aback when these mistakes that we didn’t see coming take us so far off course. However the way to get back on track is not to fill our heads with regret after regret. Eventually you have to take those regrets and turn them into awareness. Become aware of your mistakes and instead of letting them become your regrets, let them remain your life lessons.

At some point in our lives we all find ourselves wishing that we could go back and change our approach to different situations. But some mistakes and outcomes are just beyond our control and no matter how much we would like to we can’t go back. So why waste time wishing we could. Why not take those moments we regret the most and use them as our motivation to turn things back around. If we hold on to those regrets for too long they will eventually hold us back and they will become the next excuse of why we couldn’t accomplish something else we wanted to accomplish and inevitably they will breed new regrets. It would be a shame to close the door on our future accomplishments by dwelling on the failed attempts at the old ones. It is better to look ahead and prepare for what could be than to keep looking back and regret what could’ve been.

Jimmetta Carpenter

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Release Date To Be Announced)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

The Makings of a Writer

March 20, 2010March 20, 2010 jcladyluv

When I tell people that I am a writer it bothers me to hear those who say, “Oh that’s a nice hobby, what do you really want to do with your life?” I just reply, “Writing is my life, it’s who I am.” That’s really the only way that I can address those kinds of statements. People have no idea just what it takes to be a writer. It may look as if we just sit around and write all day and get to be free spirits but it’s so much more then that. Writing is reading, and researching, and conversing with a multitude of people. It is being confident in what you write and who you are within that particular piece of work. It is being determined to not let the cynics and the pessimists get inside your head (which is harder than you would think). It’s withstanding the constant rejections and being able to press on. Writing is an art and a writer is the person who transforms that art from idea to actual vision. We writers have what is called a calling, not a drive, but a pull that leaves us no choice but to follow it.
Writers are more than just people who write down words as a way of life. Writing involves so much more than that. We are people who live and breathe words. We are people who are truly in love with words and the meanings behind them. Writers are surveyors, reporters, interpreters, storytellers, and most of all observers. We have a passion for ideas that is almost too intense. We are fearless explorers who are engaged in life, and love and know what it means to be alive, to grow, to experience, to know, to learn, to love, and to fear. Writers ask what if? We want to know more than just the who, what, when, and where, we want to know why? We need to know why.
Writers are complicated to say the very least and contrary to popular belief this profession does not come as easy as it may be perceived. There are a lot of ups and downs that accompany being a writer but the trick is having or forming really thick skin. That mixed in with patience, persistence, and perseverance might get you really far in this line of work. We’ve learned to laugh at ourselves and throw out those perfectionist standards, which we sometimes set. Rejection is a way of life for writers but we come with an odd mix of optimism and humility along with a humble heart and a healthy dose of realism that seem to help. Writers have to be confident. Sure we let that circle of doubt cloud us from time to time wondering whether or not what we’re doing is really worth it or not. But we get through it and move past it and move on.
Writers are an example of many things such as strength, extreme willpower, and a huge amount of creativity and idealism. We find the discipline and stamina to support our love of words and we use our vigorous imagination to interpret our experiences in life. Writers are people who have something to say and something that they absolutely have to get out. Writing to me isn’t a choice, or just a profession. It is who I am and it is how I express myself and it’s how I get heard. It is where I implement the voices in my head that are trying to get through to someone else but have no way to do it on their own. Writing isn’t just a career it is an existence. I not only write because I can’t fight the urge, but I write simply because I have no choice.
Jimmetta Carpenter

“The Diary: Succession of Lies” (Release Date To Be Announced)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

The Balancing Act

March 19, 2010March 19, 2010 jcladyluv

It’s hard to find the balance between your job and your career especially when the two don’t go hand in hand. The job seems to always take precedence over the career because it is, after all, how you manage to pay the bills and put food on the table for you and your family. It’s nice when our career and our job are one in the same but what do you do if they aren’t? If your job takes up so much of your time and you can’t seem to balance it with your career then how will you ever reach the point where you make your career your job?

As a writer who would love to be a stay at home writer and mom I find having a full time job highly disruptive to my creative thought process. It seems like I would have the time when I get home to write and work on whatever projects I have to work on but after picking up my daughter, getting her home, fed, bathed, and ready for bed and getting myself ready to do the same thing all over again the next day I find that I am way to tired to stay focused on my writing which is my dream. I kept waiting for me to get adjusted to my new schedule so that I could incorporate my writing time in there with the rest of my day but I am beginning to realize that being adjusted to a hectic schedule is more of an ideal then a reality. It’s up to me to MAKE myself adjusted and if the sacrifice happens to be sleep or the TV or even talking on the telephone then so be it.

I read about the writers who have sacrificed so much for their craft and I wonder why even though I say I am willing to make those sacrifices, when the time comes to actually make them I seem to fall short. I guess it’s just a matter of whether I am really as serious about my writing as I say I am and the answer to that question is definitely a yes. Now I just have to work everything in and if the thing that I have to give up a little of is sleep or other social activities that disrupt my writing time then I think that to accomplish the dreams I set out to accomplish it is well worth it.

There are many steps in balancing your life out such as setting deadlines for yourself, and organizing your work and your goals but the first step is to see what it is that you are spending your time doing. Making a schedule of what your day normally looks like is helpful because then you can see where you could actually be writing instead wasting your time on other frivolous things. Once you do that then you can make a new schedule that involves more writing then television watching or talking on the telephone. You can’t get anywhere with your work without giving up some old bad habits.

I guess finding a balance between your job and your career and making the two work together requires you to re-focus and re-prioritize and make yourself see what is most important to you. I just know that I don’t want to find myself, ten years later, wondering why it took me so long to get anything accomplished and looking back to find that the hold up and the problem all along was me not being focused enough and sacrificing enough to find that balance. All that life has become, or anything that you do in your life, is a balancing act. It’s a constant everyday test as to whether you can really multi-task and do everything without letting yourself get distracted. And even though it may seem easy to stay focused on something that you know you want so bad, it is anything but easy. But it will almost certainly turn out to be well worth all of the sacrifices that you made to get where you are destined to be.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Outside The Box

March 7, 2010 jcladyluv

So I have been reading a very informative book on the proper way to boost my freelance writing career into high gear which it definitely not at this time. I’ve always had my mind set on one or two different ways that I can make money with my writing but this book has opened my mind up to other ways that I never even thought about doing until this book put those ideas into a broader perspective. There are so many things that I can be doing with my writing talent, some of them of which I might not necessarily want to do, but they have a very big potential to make my career more lucrative and that is exactly what I want at this stage in my life. That means that I now have to step out of my comfort zone of what I am used to doing and try things that I have never done before and some I’ve never even thought about trying before. I will admit that I am not particularly good with change but I suppose in life that is sometimes what makes it worthwhile is the change. I am just going to have to try my best to be more and more productive and work on several projects at a time because working on one at a time is not producing enough. I am a list person so I think that making list will work better for me in terms of actually producing work and getting things done. So this month I am going to take some time and try and maybe distance myself from people (not total isolation but just not talk on the phone so much which I do an incredible amount of) and probably not focus so much on the man in my life who gives my hell sometimes and get my head into what it is that I need to be doing which is turning my career into something that is going to not just make ends meet but make things comfortable and so I won’t have to worry about how this bill and that bill will get paid. Well I suppose that I should stop writing about wanting to get paid and go do it. Until next time….Be Blessed!!!

Jimmetta Carpenter

“The Diary: Succession of Lies” (Release Date To Be Announced)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”