Still Standing

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.
— Eleanor Roosevelt

When I started writing this blog post the other day I was questioning everything from whether I am really as good of a writer as I think I am, to if I really had enough strength in me to do what I believe I am destined to do.  I was beginning to feel as if the tunnel that I am in is getting longer and darker with no light at the end.  It felt like all of the walls were closing in on me and that I was going to be suffocated underneath the rumble.  I was completely defeated, feeling all out of my share of miracles and the devil had a tight grip on me.  I had almost surrendered.  Almost.

And then I had a conversation with my best friend in which she said something that reminded me that I already knew all of the answers to the questions that I had and that the one thing that I am not is a quitter.  As I was talking to her I got a link in my e-mail to her latest blog post, The Vision Cannot Wait, which was just the icing on the cake of what I needed.  It reminded me that what I believe I am destined to do is a part of a vision that I have had for myself since I was six years old.  In twenty four years I had never let go of that vision and I was not going to let the devil take my vision away now.

The devil is always busy but it seems like he’s been really working on me a lot lately.  He has been throwing every obstacle at me that he knew would stop me dead in my tracks.  Picking away at any part of me he knows to be vulnerable.  Plucking away all of the petals of a purposeful flower, holding it back from its full bloom.  I have been up against so many walls lately, hell it seems like my whole life has been an obstacle course.  But lucky for me, the devil is no match for God.     

God has his way of stepping right in when you feel yourself sinking under.  Just as you throw your hands up to tell him that you can’t take any more, he is already there relieving you of your load.  He may not come to rescue you before the storm passes, but he will never let you drown.  While I know that I shouldn’t, there are times when I forget that.  There are times that I forget the strength that God instilled me with.  I just have to keep reminding myself that those walls that are blocking my view of that light at the end of this tunnel won’t always be there. 

I have faith that if I just keep putting in the work and jumping over all of the hurdles that come along that my vision will become a reality.  There is a reason why I am still standing, still surviving, still dreaming, and still pushing and its called purpose.  That phone call from my best friend reminded me of the strength that I sometimes forget that I have inside.  My determination to see my vision become a reality is stronger than any attempts the devil makes to take it way.  If nothing else I am a survivor and this storm too shall pass and I will still be standing when it does.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://jayceedurant.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://freemynd.wordpress.com/

http://spokenlikeaqueen.blogspot.com/ 

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

www.authorsden.com/jimmettacarpenter

 

No More Kindles, No More Nooks…

Okay this post is completely off the topic of my normal style of discussion here but I truly feel that something has to be said about the way technology is significantly becoming the destruction of the publishing and book industry as we have known it to be in the past.  It seems more and more we hear about book companies like Borders and Barnes N’ Nobles closing down stores and filing bankruptcy.  People seem to be genuinely concerned and some even outraged at the thought of there being no more book stores. 

We can sit and blame the decline in the economy all we want for this drastic shift in the publishing and book store industry all that we want but that is not what believe is at the heart of the problem.  It is Kindles and Nooks and any other e-reader device that allows for people to download books electronically instead them going to a book store and purchasing a book and reading it the good old fashioned way.  Yes they may in fact be convenient and easy to have the ability to tote all your books around without having to actually physically have to carry all of your books around but look what and who it is hurting.  I for one think that it is just lazy to read books that way because that is not how books were originally intended to be read, but that’s just my opinion. 

People who buy into the whole Kindle and Nook propaganda are not thinking about the fact that if everyone is buying their books this way, what need is there for a book store.  If the book stores begin rapidly closing down, if no publishing company is going to publish writer’s books anymore due to the lack of need for the physical books, then hundreds and thousands of people are left without jobs, and people (like me) who actually love book stores and don’t buy into the electronic way of reading won’t have an outlet to go to.  In an economy that is already suffering, what would this destruction of the publishing world and book industry do to those people that will end up jobless?  For those who are Kindle and Nook lovers, have you thought about the industry that you are helping to destroy. 

In the area I live in, there aren’t really a lot of book stores within range that I can go to except the Borders and now I hear rumors that due to the lack of people who actually buy books these days they might be closing their doors soon.  With gas prices being what they are I can’t afford to drive a lot of miles away just to be able to get my books and to be able to go sit and work on my writing.  I am a writer who hopes to have many novels published in the course of her lifetime and with the way people are taking book for granted I just may not get to do what I have dreamed of doing since I was six years old all because people want to be lazy and can’t appreciate the value of reading a book the way they were meant to be read.  What is the need to carry around hundreds of books at a time for when you can only read one at a time anyway (or 2 if you’re one of those speed readers)?  All I ask is that people who buy into all of that unnecessary technology start to think about the people they are really hurting with it.  Okay I’m done now.  I needed to get that out there. 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://jayceedurant.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://freemynd.wordpress.com/

http://spokenlikeaqueen.blogspot.com/ 

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

www.authorsden.com/jimmettacarpenter

Published in: on February 8, 2011 at 11:59 AM  Leave a Comment  
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The Power of Influence

What has happened is not nearly as important as what can happen.  Look to the possibilities of your future for direction, forsaking the burdensome limitations of your past.

~Keith D. Harrell

I was thinking the other day about all of the obstacles that I am going through right now and how much I seem to be struggling lately.  I was replaying in my mind what influences led me to this point and why I am inadvertently stuck here.  I was asking myself (okay maybe I was actually talking to God- and yes I know you are not supposed to question him) when it was going to be my turn for things to go right.  When would all of the efforts that I am putting into making my dreams become a reality finally pay off?  It finally dawned on me (or maybe God was answering my question), why am I just sitting here wondering when my opportunity was going to come.  I realized that while I am waiting for opportunity to knock at my door, opportunity just may be walking by waiting for me to come get it.  It’s not about the luck that flows into your life that you sit and wish that you had.  It is about the good fortune that you go out and create for yourself.

Every aspect of your life influences you.  All of your past accomplishments as well as your past disappointments have influenced how you chose to live your life.  I believe that the people who are supposed to shape your lives when you are younger like your parents, siblings, good friends can only be your crutch for so long.  If you had a childhood that wasn’t ideal or was just downright traumatizing, how long do you get to pull that card as your excuse as to why you aren’t where you are supposed to be today?  Yes those events in your life do matter and they do share a portion of the blame.  However there comes a time when those events have to become your motivation and not your destruction. 

I am not saying this as someone who does not need to realize this herself.  I have blamed my mother for quite some time now as to my life not turning out quite the way that I wanted it to (at least not yet anyway).  I have attributed my lack of belief in myself to the fact that I didn’t have a mother who believed in me, or loved me for that matter, and I have essentially let it become my crutch.  What I have not done until now is realized that if she doesn’t believe in me and doesn’t see my potential then that is her misfortune.  What I should’ve done all of this time is come to grips with the fact that her lack of faith in my abilities is because of something that she lacks within herself and that it’s not something wrong with me. 

So now that I have realized that, I am going to use her negativity and relentless attempts to belittle me, fuel the drive that I have to become exactly what she thinks I can’t.  I am not going to let her disbelief in me continue to influence the belief that I have in myself.  The power of influence is strong.  It is sometimes relentless.  It is determined.  What you have to figure out is which influences you are going to adhere to.  How are you going to let those moments in your life shape who you become?  How are you going to keep your past from remaining your present, and more importantly, from becoming your future?  Are you ready to cast out the negative influences in your life and reach out to hold onto the positive ones?  How much power do your influences hold over you?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://jayceedurant.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://freemynd.wordpress.com/

http://spokenlikeaqueen.blogspot.com/ 

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

www.authorsden.com/jimmettacarpenter

 

Published in: on February 7, 2011 at 12:01 PM  Leave a Comment  
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