And the Lucky Winner Is…Not Me!

Okay so I am sad to announce that I did not win the big mega millions lottery pot this past weekend and I along with millions of other people in the world am saddened by it.  Of course it might have helped my odds if I had actually played the lottery.  I do wonder what the lucky winners are going to do with their newfound wealth.  I can only imagine what I could and would do with that kind of money.  

Actually Ms. L. and I were going over our individual lists of what our newfound wealth could’ve brought us if it had been one of us who won.  Of course there were the obvious things on our lists like getting some of the little things for ourselves that we as single mothers whose first priorities are our children can not get at this very moment.  Then there are the college funds that are a must to have for our children to be able to go to college wherever they chose to go and not have to worry about money.  

There are the trips that I have been dying to take (there aren’t too many places Ms. L. hasn’t been already) and the house and car that I would buy outright if I had the money so that I wouldn’t have a mortgage or a car note.  The big thing, I think for the both of us, is to be able to fully fund our businesses.  To have the money to put into the business you are trying to grow without having to ration out just how much goes in this or that part of the business is a feeling that would be priceless.  

Building my business would allow me to sow those riches right back in my purpose and have it to continue to keep growing my wealth (not just monetary wealth) and enable me to become completely self sufficient.  I would feel such peace knowing that my business will fully provide for me and my daughter the way I’d always imagined it would.  There are other things that I would love to do with millions of dollars (if I had it).  I have a few select foundations that I would love to donate money to, and a foundation of my own that I would like to start (to help with the fight against bullying).  

But unfortunately, I did not win the lottery and my list will just have collect a little bit more dust.  I wonder what all of you would do with millions of dollars.  Have you ever thought about the changes that you could make in this world with that kind of blessing?  If you haven’t thought about it I think you should (especially all of you who play the lottery on a daily basis).  You could be the next big winner!


Jimmetta Carpenter


The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”


Jaded View of Things

We live in an imperfect world.  That is certainly proven time and time again.  While the world is anything but ideal, I don’t believe there is a reason to be jaded about every situation that you face.  People tend to take their bad experiences with people in life and transfer them onto others that they meet in the future.  I am not exempt from that fact but I try my very best to not to make judgments based on what I have already been through.  I would like to think that everyone and every situation is not predetermined by the past. 

I think that if people spend too much time living in the past, believing that every experience that they had is going to keep repeating themselves, they miss all of the good stuff that could happen in between.  My mother believes every person (men in particular) has an angle, an agenda.  She is a person who has zero trust for anyone and believes that this world is full of dishonest people who are just going to hurt you.  I on the other hand struggle not to believe that.  I don’t pretend to think that everyone is an angel but I try not to walk around expecting to be hurt.  I just don’t want to allow myself to get that jaded. 

If you always expect the worst of everyone and from every situation that is exactly what you will end up getting.  You get back what you put out into the universe and I don’t want to receive that kind of negative thinking.  I want good things, I expect good things, and all I want to put out into the universe is what I expect to get back in return.  You can’t make every situation you go through in life turn out exactly the way that you want it to.  The best that we can do is deal with each situation as they come and take the lessons we learn into the next one without any prejudices thrown in the mix. 


Jimmetta Carpenter


The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

Giving Up is Not an Option

“If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.”

~Author Unknown 

I have heard so many people say that when the going gets tough, the tough get going.  I suppose that could translate to people simply giving up and throwing in the towel.  They may examine what went wrong down the line, but for all intense and purposes they give up the fight because it just got too hard.  When they do find themselves wanting to go back to that place later on in life they find that they have to start all over again and that can be discouraging for anyone. 

I found the above quote (at the top of my post) when I was going through my facebook timeline and reading other people’s updates.  When I read it, I tried to figure out if that applied to me.  I replayed certain big moments throughout my life where I felt like everything just fell apart and I had to carry on but I don’t think that it was ever a case where I had to really start over.  That’s because never once have I given up.  

I’ve always been more of a pick up where I left off type of person.  I will admit that when I find the walls collapsing around me I do have a tendency to get the urge to run for the (imaginary) hills.  Instead I just take a step back from things and in a sense reevaluate what’s happening.  When I go back to the problem, I never start from scratch, I simply pick up where I left off and continue in a different direction (hopefully the right one this time). 

Starting over isn’t ideal.  Once you’ve started something and have a clear vision for it there should be no turning back.  You should never see that rough patch as a reason to begin all over again when it isn’t necessary.  You can’t complain about how hard it is to begin again if you are going to keep giving up when it gets hard.  

Ms. L. told me the other day that I have to start seeing the things in myself that other people see in me and she went on to list a lot of attributes that she saw in me that made me feel a little embarrassed.  I wasn’t embarrassed because I was flattered necessarily (although I was) but more so because I couldn’t see what it is that she sees.  But if I had to list one strong attribute about myself that I firmly believe is true and can clearly see in myself, I would have to say it is that I never give up.  

I get knocked down (a lot), and admittedly I stay down for longer than I should at times, but I have never just completely given up.  I’ve wanted to.  I sulk, I cry, I ask why me a countless number of times (which I know I need to stop doing), and then I suck it up, I reevaluate the situation, I get up and I get moving again.  Sometimes I am only operating on a hope and a prayer, but sometimes that is all that you need in order to operate.  For anyone out there who is thinking about giving up on something that they know is meant for them, don’t.  It will just make things a lot harder when you have to start all over again.  Stop starting over with a new (not always better) plan.  Instead just stop giving up on the old one.  


Jimmetta Carpenter


The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

Spring Cleaning for Creativity’s Sake

Ms. L.’s post yesterday reminded me that it’s that time of year again.  You know, the time when everyone starts to begin thinking about all of the spring cleaning they have to do.  I am really big on getting into the whole spring cleaning vibe and going through and tossing out old clothes, doing a big clean up around the house that involves not only mopping all floors but also wiping down all surfaces until they are spotless, and tackling the re-organizing my tiny little corner of an office in my room.  But spring cleaning should not stop after the household messes that we have been putting off for just such a time for mass clean-up are actually done.  

For us creative types spring cleaning doesn’t just end at the household, but it transcends to spring cleaning your mind, your spirit, and your body, in an effort to spark your creativity and become even more productive.  For me, there are three things that affect my creativity in a negative way; if my house is a mess, if my body isn’t feeling its best, and if my mind is cluttered with conflicting and contradicting thoughts.  

I feel like it’s not just my house that I have to get in order (as far as cleaning), but that I need to amplify my efforts on maintaining good healthy habits (helps with the stress), and most of all I need to really get my head in the right frame of mind and focused on what’s important and what needs to be done.  As you all know I am really concentrating on getting that fire back about my writing goals and making the things happen that I want to happen.  Hopefully spring cleaning on all fronts will help me do that.  


Jimmetta Carpenter


The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

Proceed Without Caution

“I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.”

~Diane Ackerman 

So I am on a mission this week to re-ignite my fire and drive to become more productive in my writing career and I came across this article by Sage Cohen on ways to harness your fear and make that fear fuel your writing.  There was a specific tip about focusing on the process instead of the results and it struck a chord with me.  I am always focused on the end result of any and everything.  I have always been a planner (at least in my adult post-motherhood days) I suppose I am overly cautious that way.  I have this need to know how things are going to turn out primarily because I just can’t stand the not knowing. 

The reality of any situation and of life really, is that there is absolutely no way of knowing how anything is going to turn out.  There’s no predetermined outcome for things (well there is but only God knows what they are), it’s just a game of wait and see.  I don’t exactly know when I became so obsessed with being cautious about everything because I never used to be that way, at least not with my writing.  My writing was always the one thing where I just wrote and whatever came of it when I was done was what became of it.  I wrote and believed that whatever I wanted to make happen with it would become a reality as long as I put in the work.  

Over the years it seemed like I put in more and more work with my writing and nothing grand (the way I dreamt it up in my mind) was happening and I just started to doubt a little bit more and believed that caution was the way to go.  The problem with that is that caution and creativity don’t really mix well together.  I somehow forgot how to just enjoy the process and deal with the results of that process when they needed to be dealt with.  Now of course results do indeed matter, but not at the expense of the sheer joy of working your way through the process.  

Writing is an extremely rewarding, healing, and invigorating process.  However, by constantly agonizing over what the results are going to be when I am done, I have somehow stopped enjoying the actual process of it.  Maybe that means I need to take a step back and just fall in love with the process again, minus all of the cautionary measures.  Old habits are hard to break but I am certainly going to try to get back to that place where I didn’t worry so much about what was on the other side of the bridge I was crossing, just so long as I made it there.  

Caution can be good sometimes on your way to any destination in life but too much apprehension for anything can hinder you from enjoying the journey you are taking to get there.  I think I just have to accept that I can’t know the end to every story, especially when I am not the author of it.  What God has planned for me is what he has planned and the only part that I can control is the lessons I take away from the process.  I think God has been trying to tell me to enjoy the journey and let him worry about where I end up.  It’s about time that I start to listen! 


Jimmetta Carpenter


The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

Reigniting an Old Flame

“Putting off an easy thing makes it hard.  Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.” 

~George Claude Lorimer 

I listened to Ms. L. the other day as she talked about the series of articles that she just had published in her city’s local newspaper and the projects that she has coming up (let me add, paying projects), and how she is really starting to make some pretty good income with her writing just as she wanted to do with her business.  Just as we both had hoped to do with our businesses.  She is beginning to flourish and I am really proud of her.  But honestly I am a tad bit jealous as well (but not in the bad way).  It’s not that I don’t want her to succeed but I just wish that I was flourishing just as much as her, alongside her. 

When I listen to her and hear her talk about her daily activities and just how productive she has been I see the same fire lit under her and the same drive inside of her that I used to have.  She’s always on the go and pulling all-nighters and I can remember when I used to be the same way.  My drive was so intense that I barely slept and I would skip meals just so that I could work on my writing.  I have no idea when that fire in me started to die down.  I didn’t mean for it to.  

I know that I haven’t loss my passion for writing or for any of the things that I hope to do with my writing and my media company that I am currently trying to build up.  I have a multitude of plans and my brain is constantly turning with more and more ideas by the hour, sometimes by the minute.  But yet when it comes to actually executing those ideas and plans, after I’ve done all of the normal things that need to be done during my day, I sit down and the act of execution on those plans falls by the waist-side.  I get tired and at times I accidentally fall asleep without ever tackling any of the things on my to-do list.  

I don’t mean to be such a full blown procrastinator and I certainly don’t mean to have a head (and notebook) full of plans and ideas and never accomplishing even a tenth of them.  I wish I had an explanation (at least a good one) for falling down on the job of making my dreams happen and I wish I understood why my drive and my fire isn’t naturally there the way it used to be, but I don’t.  All I know is that this week I plan to get it together because I will only have myself to blame if I fail and no one else can make this happen for me.  

I suppose I will just have to do what people do when they go to start their stove and they hear the clicking sound but yet the fire doesn’t immediately come on like it used to.  They don’t just stop cooking their food, they go light a match or a lighter and get the fire started again themselves.  I know that I still love what I do and I know I still have the passion for it and now I am just going to find a way to reignite the fire so that my dreams don’t burn out too.  If any of you out there are feeling like the biggest procrastinator in the world, you are not alone and it does not have to stay that way.  The flame can always be reignited, even if it has to be done manually.  


Jimmetta Carpenter


The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

15 Freedom Truths

These fifteen truths should be confessed daily to build the believer’s self-esteem. It is critical for the believer to see himself as God looks at him. John the Baptist saw himself and spoke in agreement with the way God saw him. The discipline to speak God’s word will transform your thinking; it will change how you see yourself and your faith level will soar. As you see yourself differently, you will respond to others differently. Always remember, there are two (2) true’s. What man or circumstances say and then what God says. Choose to believe God because your circumstance is only temporary. 

1. I am a New Creature predestined for greatness. (2Corinthians5:17)

2. I am a Child of God fully accepted by the Father. (John 1:12)

3. I am loved by God regardless of how I perform. (Romans 5:8)

4. I am forgiven and will not be tormented by my past errors. (1 John 1:9)

5. I am an over comer and my faith is changing my circumstances. (1 John 5:4)

6. I am a giver and God is causing people to help me prosper. (2 Corinthians 9:8)

7. I have authority over the devil and no demon power can hurt me. (Luke 10:17,18)

8. Abundance is God’s will for me and I will not settle for less. (John 10:10)

9. I am healed and sickness will not lord over my body. (1 Peter 2:24)

10. God is on my side; I will not fear. (Psalm 118:6)

11. The Holy Spirit is my helper; I’m never alone and I have the peace of God.  (Philippians 4:7)                            

12. I am blessed and it’s a matter of time before things change. What I see now is only temporary. (Ephesians 1:3 and 2 Corinthians 4:18)

13. I have the wisdom of God; I hear the Father’s voice; my steps ordered by God and the voice of a stranger I will not follow. (1 Corinthians 1:30)

14. I am set in the body of Christ and I know that I am valuable and important to the work of God. (1 Corinthians 12:20-25 and Ephesians 4:11-12)

15. I choose not to be offended and I am being delivered out of all afflictions and persecutions. (Matthew 5:1-12) 

Jimmetta Carpenter


The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

The 40 I Am’s

Along with all of the thought provoking conversation that I had with my trainer yesterday he shared some things for me to look up for my own spiritual guidance on my own time.  I was so touched by these things that I of course wanted to share them with all of you.  So I am posting the 40 I Am’s today and the tomorrow I will be posting the 15 Freedom Truths.  I hope that all of you get as much out of it as I have. 

Confessing the Forty (40) I am’s on a daily basis will cause you to see yourself the way God sees you. When you begin to see yourself from God’s perspective, the opinions of others don’t offend you. You are who God says you are. 

1. AChild of God. (Romans 8:16)

2. Redeemed from the Hand of the Enemy. (Psalms 107:2)

3. Forgiven. (Colossians 1:13-14)

4. Saved by Grace through Faith. (Ephesians 2:8)

5. Justified. (Romans 5:1)

6. Sanctified. (1 Corinthians 1:2)

7. ANew Creature. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

8. Partaker of His Divine Nature. (2 Peter 1:4)

9. Redeemed from the Curse of the Law. (Galatians 3:13)

10. Delivered from the Powers of Darkness. (Colossians 1:13)

11. Led by the Spirit of God. (Romans 8:14)

12. ASon of God. (Romans 8:14)

13. Kept in Safety wherever I go. (Psalms 91:11)

14. Getting all my needs met by Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

15. Casting all my cares on Jesus. (1 Peter 5:7)

16. Strong in the Lord and in the Power of His might. (Ephesians 6:10)

17. Doing all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

18. An heir of God and a Joint heir with Jesus. (Romans 8:17)

19. An heir to the blessing of Abraham. (Galatians 3:13-14)

20. Observing and doing the Lord’s Commandments. (Deuteronomy 28:12)

21. Blessed coming in and blessed going out. (Deuteronomy 28:6)

22. An heir of eternal life. (1 John 5:11-12)

23. Blessed with all spiritual blessings. (Ephesians 1:3)

24. Healed by His stripes. (1 Peter 2:24)

25. Exercising my authority over the enemy. (Luke 10:19)

26. Above only and not beneath. (Deuteronomy 28:13)

27. More than a conqueror. (Romans 8:37)

28. Establishing God’s Word here on Earth. (Matthew 16:19)

29. An over comer by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of my testimony.

      (Revelation 12:11)

30. Daily overcoming the devil. (1 John 4:4)

31. Not moved by what I see. (2 Corinthians 4:18)

32. Walking by Faith and not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7)

33. Casting down vain imaginations. (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)

34. Bringing every thought into captivity. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

35. Being transformed by renewing my mind. (Romans 12:1-2)

36. Alaborer together with God. (1 Corinthians 3:9)

37. The righteousness of God in Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

38. An imitator of Jesus. (Ephesians 5:1)

39. The light of the World. (Matthew 5:14)

40. Blessing the Lord at all times and continually praising Him with my mouth.

      (Psalms 34:1)


Jimmetta Carpenter


The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

Am I Letting the Devil Steal What is Rightfully Mine?

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”

-1 Peter 5:8 

I had one of those deep thought provoking conversations today at the gym with the guy that’s training me.  It always seems like we have those conversation exactly when my mind is filling itself with a bunch of doubt and lack of motivation.  As the conversation went on and I shared more of my doubts (fears really) he asked me a very important question that stumped me for a minute but was one that I think all of us self-doubters need to ask ourselves.  He asked me ‘Why are you letting Satan steal what’s yours?’  

He went on to say that with all of the gifts that I possess and the purpose that I was placed here on this earth to do I am in line for so many great successes and abundant rewards, but every time I let that doubt settle in my mind I am allowing Satan to steal what’s mine, little by little.  I had never thought about my many bouts of doubt that way.  He’s right.  I never realized that that was what I was doing.  I never knew that I was giving the Devil that much authority over the journey of my life, and inevitably, over the destination that I arrive at.  

I feel like I do follow the guidance of God on my path but it didn’t dawn on me that those obstacles and bumps on the road that I keep hitting were the Devil capitalizing on my own self-doubt.  I don’t always doubt myself but on the days that I do I seem to be continuously leaving a crack in the door for Satan to work his way in there and steal my successes and my rewards, leaving me feeling more doubtful than ever.  I get what the Devil is trying to do now and I don’t plan on leaving that door open anymore, not even a tiny crack.  

I know what I’m worth and I know what my words are worth.  I know that God has given me a purpose to fulfill and I can not continue to doubt what he has told me I should be doing.  If he didn’t feel that I was up to the task, he wouldn’t have constructed the task solely for me.  It is nothing but the Devil that has me doubting myself and I admit that he was been really busy with me lately.  Well the Devil can continue to be busy, but just not with me, not anymore. 

Jimmetta Carpenter


The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

Is It Really Worth Taking the Leap?

“Man cannot discover new oceans until he has courage to lose sight of the shore.”

So last week I sent off for some more of my books.  I couldn’t get that many because, well, I just don’t have the cash flow right now to get a whole case load, but I got a few that I could sell to make some more ‘seed’ money.  However, there are at least three books that I had planned on setting aside to send to three very important people (to me), Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, and Zane.  

Now I know what some people would think as they are reading this, ‘why send it to people who might never actually read it?’  It’s the same thing I was thinking at first but someone advised me that I never know whether they would read it or not, or whether someone on their staff would read it and like it enough to do things with it that I can’t do with it, not yet anyway.  So I was anxiously waiting for my books and today they came (earlier then expected) and now I sit here rethinking whether I should send it to those three important people or not.  

What if my book just sits in some pile of what they deem to be junk mail or ordinary fan mail and never gets looked at?  What if they look at it and just toss it away in the trash somewhere?  I mean who am I to them that they would find any interest in my book?  What would they find so special about my book that they would pay attention to it?  But then I am reminded of what I posted yesterday and what I am trying to put into a more consistent practice.   

I have to step out on faith and believe in myself to know that not only am I good enough but my book is too, so why wouldn’t they want to pay attention to it.  I said that this stepping out on faith thing was going to take me some time to actually do without questioning it.  But then there are the questions that are going to pop into my head if I don’t send them off.  What if they were to get my book, and read it, and love it?  What if I would be passing up an opportunity that God is placing on my path?  I guess I won’t find out exactly what would happen with my giant leap of faith if I never take that leap. 


Jimmetta Carpenter


The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”