Quitters Will Never Win

As I was sitting here thinking about what to write today I was thinking about just throwing in the towel.  You know you can only keep trying at something for so long that doesn’t appear to be working before you start to really wonder if it’s just not going to work, or maybe it’s just not meant to be.  Lately I’ve been feeling as if every time I take one step forward, I end up getting knocked two steps backward.  I was beginning to feel like all of this was pointless and that all this dreaming that I’ve been doing had been for nothing.  

Just as I was getting ready to give up and just say to hell with it I looked in my email inbox today and received one of my Tyler Perry mailing list pep talks (it was actually sent a couple of days ago but I hadn’t checked my email in a couple of days).  His message was short, sweet, and to the point.  Simply put it read “IF YOU QUIT OR GIVE UP THEN YOU DON’T DESERVE IT!  Process that and get back in the fight, DREAMER! You can do it.”  As I said before, time and time again, Tyler Perry always has a way of sending out his inspirational messages just as I need to hear it.  

I love writing and most importantly I am meant to do this.  I know it deep down inside my gut.  Even when I doubt myself, I never doubt my ability to write.  Even though I keep getting knocked down repeatedly, I have just been reminded that I can’t throw in the towel because if I do I never deserved it in the first place.  I have never been one to quit anything that I really wanted and that I knew was for me.  I’m not going to start now!  

If any of you are out there feeling like it’s just never going to come together, don’t stop now, don’t give up the fight.  Just when you think it’s time to quit is the precise moment that you need to keep holding on.         

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Time Is Of the Essence

I’ve found myself saying to quite a lot of people lately that they shouldn’t wait to do whatever they said they were going to do the next time they get a chance.  That they should take the opportunity to do whatever it is now, in that moment.  Simply put, I have been reminding people that tomorrow is never promised and that you shouldn’t keep waiting for the next available moment when the moment has presented itself right now.  

Isn’t it funny how we can impart wisdom and advice to other people, probably advice that was at some other time imparted to us, but we can never really seem to take that advice ourselves?  I was telling Ms. L. today about how every time I make a plan to really buckle down and get things done I find myself at that moment, with all of my tools lined up around me ready for me to get stuff done and then either something gets me distracted or I simply fall asleep from being so tired.  Hours later I end up with just as much done as I had before which is nothing.  

I can’t keep repeating this same cycle of having a whole lot of plans to do something and ending up with very little to nothing actually being done.  Is anyone else in a cycle of repeated procrastination or is it really just me?  I only hope that I somehow learn to take my own advice (and advice given to me by others in the past) before time really does get away from me and it becomes too late to do anything about it.  

As much as people would like to believe that it is never too late to do the things that you were meant to do, everyone’s time is up at some point.  If I leave this earth without making a good enough use of the gifts and talents that God gave me and without fulfilling the purpose that he placed before me, then I really will have wasted all of the valuable time that I was given and I will have nothing to show for it.    

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

The First Time Around

Ever wonder what might have been different if all of the opportunities that you have been given, you had got it right the first time around?  If you had the money to do everything that you need and want to do to become successful would you actually be doing them right now instead of just wishing you could be doing them?  

I’ve been thinking a lot about the things that I need to do to get things going the way that I need them to be going and how the lack of money has held me up from actually following through with a lot of those things.  I’ve also been thinking about all of the opportunities that I have had that could have enabled me to be in a different place right now that I have just somehow squandered away.  What kind of difference would it make if I had got it all right the first time around?  

If I had finished college the first time I went and completed my degrees then, instead having to work extra hard to try and finish them up now, so late in the game, then I might already be working in the media industry now as I have always dreamed of.  I might have already moved to New York like I wanted to all those years ago so that I can be surrounded by exactly the right people I need to be surrounded by.  I could have all the right contacts and connections and I would already have my foot in the door that I am trying hard to kick down now.  

I could have learned from the best how to be the best and already be halfway up the ladder by now instead of still being on the second or third rung.  I probably would already be on some New York Time’s best sellers list and I probably would have already had about three or four novels out by now because I would not have had any other responsibilities to worry about other then myself and my work.  I could have already achieved so much by now if I had only done things right the first time around.  

Money would most likely not be an issue (being a New York Time’s best seller and all and working as an editor for a publishing company while freelancing for some of the most prestigious magazines that are housed in New York) so I would not have any problem trying to get my own media empire started because with only myself as a responsibility and my work of course, I could put away money towards that empire and the things that I need to do for it.  Life could be so different right now.  

But the catch to all of that what if stuff is that if all of that had transpired (so-called) right the first time around, then I wouldn’t have met my daughter’s father and I wouldn’t have my wonderful, beautiful, and intelligent daughter who I would not trade for any amount of money, success, or fame.  She is the reason that I get up in the morning and I really have a hard time trying to ever envision my life without her in it.  She makes me want to fight harder to get things back on track and to make sure that she never gets off track.  But also she is proof to me that sometimes what you think would have turned out better if it had been done right the first time around, might not actually be the case.  

I don’t even know if all of that would have come to be without her coming along in my life, but I do know that the possibility is not lost.  I also know that she has enriched my life in ways that I think make me a better writer and a better person.  We can always wonder what would be different if we had another attempt at doing things all over again but when you really think about it, perhaps what you considered to be right in the first place was all wrong for you.  Perhaps for our second shot at things, rather then wishing we could go back and do things differently we should treat our new opportunities as if they are what’s right for us now.  Let’s try not looking back at a past we can’t change, but instead looking forward to a future that was meant to be.  

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Riding Around On a Near Empty Tank

I was reading an article on the Freelance Writer’s Den website that is supposed to help struggling freelance writers figure out how to better market themselves and their business.  There are a total of 21 marketing tips and I have decided to take one at a time and kind of marinate on them and really take them in and process them.  The first one is of course that you have to believe in your product, in this case, me.  

It commented on the obvious fears that freelance writers, or writers in general, experience as they try to build their business and get them off the ground good, especially the one’s that are struggling to even get the wheels of the plane up.  It gave a couple of suggestions about how to fill up your positive-feelings tank and I thought that was a good and interesting way to look at it.  

If my confidence this week were a gas tank I would be really close to empty right now and I have to work on filling that tank up and keeping it damn near full all the time (if not always full).  The list that the article gave on how to re-build your confidence and positive feelings about yourself included many things but the things that stuck out to me were to avoid negative and toxic people and surround yourself with people who think you are great, flipping through your portfolio of work to remind yourself how good you are, and to list your strengths as a writer.  

Now I am working on making sure I surround myself with positive energy and people that exude that, and I have occasionally flipped through my portfolio of work and was astonished at some of the things that I have produced, but one thing that I have never done is make a list of my strengths as a writer and as a person.  Perhaps I will try that this weekend and perhaps that will help to fill my positive-feelings tank (or as I like to refer to it as my confidence tank) up to its highest capacity.  

It’s not that I don’t believe that I am a good writer (most of the time) and that I was meant to communicate with my words.  It’s that I worry way too much about whether everyone else will agree and my confidence as far as other people finding my writing great is wavering, a lot.  I still haven’t worked through all of my fears but I know that I’m going to get there.  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Published in: on August 10, 2012 at 3:23 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Is a Writer’s Desk Ever Really Free of Clutter?

It’s about that time for the re-organization fairy to come in and clean my office area again.  Okay no really it seems like it needs to be done every three or four months and I don’t know about anyone else but it is hard to work in clutter, especially when it is clutter of your own making.  

My clutter comes from piling the incoming mail into my little inbox trays and letting it all stack up each and every week without ever tossing any of the junk that needs to be trashed out.  It also comes from trying to work on more than a few projects at one time so therefore everything in reference to each project, research, outlines and things of that nature, end up in a pile to the side of my desk and it starts to look a little bit similar to the mail file, accept none of it is junk.  

It is time for me to get my desk back in the order that I would like it to be in and this time devise a plan for it to stay that way.  But am I kidding myself to think that my desk can ever really remain clean and orderly?  Perhaps a writer’s desk is never truly clean of all clutter but when it starts to hinder the progress that you are making (or rather not making) then it becomes a problem.  

It’s so distracting that I have not even really done work at my desk for the last few weeks.  I’ve simply gathered up my laptop, and my notepad and notes on certain projects and toted them out to my dining room table, which is nice and clean, and I work there but I am really starting to miss my desk.  

I miss my chair (well currently it’s broke thanks to my daughter hopping in and out of it like it’s a bean-bag chair) and more importantly I miss feeling like a successful writer/business woman working in her own office (area).  That’s what working at my desk does for me.  I’ve seen pictures of writers working happily in a cluttered space and they genuinely look happy and at peace with the mess.  I just don’t know how they do it.  I suppose I should be happy that I’ve been doing a good job of working on my novel for Camp NaNoWriMo so I can’t say that the dining room table is a bad fix but, I miss my desk.   

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Mood For Thought

I did not wake up in the best of moods this morning.  I was in a funk and to be honest I am still in one.  I had hoped that the run I did on the treadmill this morning would help but it didn’t.  I got some work done on my novel (thank God for that) and I went to the grocery store to shop for some decadent goodies to make me feel better.  

However, as I was sitting here contemplating on the reasons for the mood that I am in I started to question myself as to why I was filling up my precious, already over extended time with thoughts of what is making me feel depressed and making me feel inadequate.  Why am I giving those negative thoughts so much power?  Why am I not taking this mood that I woke up with this morning and throwing myself into any piece of work that I can get my hands on in order to keep my mind focused on what is important and on what matters the most?  

I mean sure a piece of pie or ice cream (or both) will make me feel better in the moment but then when they are gone the problem is still there.  And so is the work that needed to be done that I just let pile up because I decided to let my mood hold me back.  I do get in some really funky moods often and I always let them take over.  It’s time that I start learning to take my moods and turn them into a source of productivity instead of a point of being stuck.   

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Published in: on August 7, 2012 at 10:24 PM  Comments (1)  
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There is No Comparison To Be Made

So I have begun CampNaNoWriMo as of last Wednesday and I was right that it would help me get focused again on my novel.  I haven’t necessarily written the amount of words I should have written by this point but I have gotten back into the story and my mind has started swirling ideas around regarding the outcome of my character.  

My words are coming along much better then I thought they would but I do still have that feeling every once and a while of wishing that I could write like…well any of the writers who crank out more than three or four novels in a year.  That list would contain some of my favorites like Joyce Carol Oates and James Patterson and Eric Jerome Dickey and Zane.  

I keep thinking to myself I wish I could do whatever it is that they do to produce the amount of work that they produce.  Then I remind myself that I have to stop comparing myself to other writers because I am not them, but rather the best version of myself that I can be.  I do that a lot you know.  Think that so many other people have it better than I do and have so much more than I do or that they seem to be able to be so much better at writing or succeeding in general than I am.  

I try not to compare having the old saying in the back of my mind that the grass is not always greener on the other side, but it’s hard when you see others who just look like they have it all, like they have all the answers to the questions that I keep asking.  But just like other people don’t know my story and my struggles, I do not know theirs either.  I don’t know what they had to go through to get where they are and what they have to continue going through now that they’ve gotten where I seemingly would like to be.   

It is a slow process but I am learning to take stock in what I have and what I can do because the truth is that there is no comparison to be made here.  I am me, not anybody else and what I have is for me to have or for me to struggle with.  I have to keep in mind that I shouldn’t wish for anyone else’s journey.  These struggles and this journey of mine is what was meant for me to travel and I am going to take stock in every bump in the road along the way until I get to the destination that was meant for me.  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Are You Living Your Life Or The Life Someone Else Thinks You Should Be Living?

I love my emails that I get from the Tyler Perry mailing list.  I swear it’s as if he knows when I need to hear a specific message and writes them just for me.  Like he was somehow the vessel that God chose (one of the many vessels) to send me a very bold and clear message.  He sent a message that didn’t mince words and didn’t beat around the bush by sugar coating things.  The subject title in this particular email was simple: Don’t let anybody define you!    

His email talked about how when he was a young boy he had so many people tell him that he would never make it, that he would never become a millionaire because he was black or because he was poor.  Among those many people there was actually a teacher and even some of his family.  I understood exactly what he was talking about because I have always been told that I would never amount to anything by the one person who is supposed to think the world of me, my mother.  

Now there are plenty of others who have said things like I dream too big, and I am never going to become successful, and I’m always going to be in a state of struggle, and basically that all of my efforts to become successful and to build my own company doing what I love to do and what I know is meant for me to do are for nothing.  I would like to say that I haven’t listened to those words of discouragement and that I responded to those negative voices in a way that Tyler Perry did, by ignoring them and doing it anyway.  But I can’t say that because I have spent the better part of my life trying to defy what I was told I couldn’t do all the while, deep down, believing in what those voices were saying.  

I have since learned to tune out those voices (for the most part anyway) but every once and a while, mostly when I have a new idea or a new way to develop and produce the ideas I already have, those voices do get deep inside my head and sometimes they even manage to convince me that they are right, but only for a little while.  When I read this message from Tyler Perry, it came after I had just finished brainstorming an idea with Ms. L. on how to bring one of my dreams on my list of accomplishments to fruition and those doubts began to creep in on whether or not I could really do this.  

I shared some brief ideas with another person that I thought could possibly help me in one area of making my idea a reality but they essentially told me every possible thing that could go wrong and that could keep me from being able to do it.  Not what I needed to hear.  I know everything that can go wrong.  I know that I am operating on little to no money most times and that my credit might not be so hot to a bank or possible investors.  So What?  

I am finally starting to realize that if I am constantly waiting for the money fairy to rain some money on my dream then I might never make it happen.  I have to have faith that it will happen, not just because it is a really good idea, but because it was what was meant for me to do.  God didn’t give me this gift for nothing and he sure doesn’t expect me to waste it.  So I’m not going to waste it.  

It’s hard to think that you have to tune out the people who are supposed to be close to you but if they can’t support me in living the life that I want to live then I don’t need to listen to words that aren’t driving me forward.  I’m done living the way everyone else thinks I should.  I can’t live the life other people would rather me live because that wasn’t the life that was meant for me.  Whose life are you living, yours or someone else’s? 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

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