Where’s the Manual for This Thing We Call Adulthood

I was having a conversation with my daughter the other day who I constantly feel like I failed. Not because I don’t love her and show and tell her that every single day so that she knows she is loved (which is something my mother never did). Not because I don’t do a good job of making sure she is taken care of first and foremost. But rather because I’ve spent far too much time sheltering her in the vein of wanting her to not grow up before she should have to, letting a child, or teenager, be and act the age that they are.

The problem with that has now come to fruition in the fact that she now clings to the sheltered life that I practically killed myself (metaphorically of course) to provide and she’s terrified of going out into the world and actually being an adult (despite the fact that she’s 19). I made her feel too secure in being taken care of that she doesn’t have confidence that she will be able to take care of herself. What do I do with that? I mean I tried to explain to her that there isn’t a manual on being adult, hell I’m still winging it as I go along.

How do I dispel her fears of adulthood when her fears are valid. Being an adult is definitely not all it’s cracked up to be and I had to be one far before I actually became an adult which is why I wanted her to enjoy the years that she didn’t have to be. But I may have completely hindered her which makes me feel like a complete and total failure as a mother. It’s a tricky balance between being the mom who wants to protect your child no matter what to being the mom that has to let go and let her child spread her wings and fly. It’s even trickier when that child doesn’t want to leave the nest. I’m just writing today to express my frustration with this new phase I’m in of being a parent to an adult child (because we all know you never stop being a parent no matter how old they are) and I’m hoping that there is someone out there that understands so that I’m not alone in this conundrum.

We had a talk yesterday and I told her that there is no manual for being an adult. Everyone is just trying to do the best they can with what they’ve got but the one thing she can’t do is not go out and try. She said she was terrified of messing up and I explained to her that she will absolutely mess up. I told her that she will make plenty of mistakes and she will learn from those mistakes and then make some more. I told her that being an adult is basically trial and error and you don’t know what works for you or if you’ve gotten something right without actually trying. It didn’t seem like it helped her, and I imagine when I was just entering adulthood it might not have helped me either but that was all of the wisdom I had.

I just want her to feel confident in this world and I don’t know how to get her there. I guess it will just have to be a day-to-day thing because what other options are there. I just really want to know, where’s the manual to this adulting thing that we were forced into. Well getting this little rant out helped a little and perhaps it will even help someone else out there. I guess we’ll see!

Until next time… #BePatient #BeMindful #BeCourageous

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://write-2-be.com/

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A Little Self-Care Will Go a Long Way

So Camp NaNo ended yesterday, and I accomplished my goal which was to complete 30,000 words in the second draft of my current novel. I wrote a little over 32,000 words so I’m happy with that, but I need a little bit of a brain break from the story and the everyday pressure to write something in that story. Don’t get me wrong I love NaNo and the whole organization and the community that spawns from the event but towards the end of each month of those NaNo events it can get a little overwhelming.

So a few of us in our little corner of the AuthorTube community on YouTube thought it would be a good idea to focus on self-care the first week after each NaNo. We even have self-care Bingo cards (it’s a thing we do, a little friendly competition and camaraderie) to make it fun and to essentially make sure that we take care of ourselves. So that is what I am doing this week. I am not doing any heavy work, nothing related to writing anyway. I will be back next week with a new blog post. Also, if you would like to challenge yourself to a self-care week or even a month, I am leaving the link to the two self-care bingo cards which can also be found on my video that will be going up later today. Take care yourselves everyone because you deserve it!

Self-Care Bingo Card #1: https://bingobaker.com/#b2cda71389264966

Self-Care Bingo Card #2: https://bingobaker.com#a19d19d195f756d9

Until next time… #BeGentle #BeMindful #BePatient

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.facebook.com/jimmetta.carpenter

https://www.amazon.com/author/jccarpenter

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

https://www.facebook.com/AuthorJCCarpenter

https://www.write2bematters.com

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

https://www.pinterest.com/jcladyluv/_saved/

https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter