Right Where I Belong

I’ve felt a little unsure of myself this week.  I guess you could say I’ve been doing a lot of second guessing (and I know that I shouldn’t) which is a bad habit I am trying to get rid of.  It’s been a week of feeling uncertain but I was watching a program this morning where the focus was the film director James Cameron and how he became such a visionary.  He said a lot of things that struck a chord with me and it kind of put things into perspective.

I get asked so many times by people who don’t consider writing an actual job (at least not a very viable one) why, when my reward thus far has been so little and the struggle has been so hard, why do I continue to pull my hair out over it.  Why don’t I just get a regular 9 to 5 job and settle with the joy of having a steady paycheck will do for my life.  They tell me it would make me so much happier, steadier, and that I would be able to do so much more for myself and my daughter.  Some days I don’t know the answer to those questions.  Not any that would make sense anyway.  But most days, the answers are simple, maybe not easy for others to understand, but they make sense for me.

For a large part of my childhood, all of my adolescence, and the vast majority of my adulthood I have doubted everything, and I had believed what my mother always made sure to remind me of which was that I was never going to be anybody and I was never going to get anywhere.  I let her words carry over into too many aspects of my life and while it was her lack of support that fueled my own doubts, it was my mistake for not recognizing that she was one of those negative people that I needed to steer clear of.  However, the one thing that I have never been uncertain of was my writing.

Sure there have been times that I have wondered if my writing could measure up to others, and if it was really truly about who you know rather then your actual talent, but I’ve always known that writing was what I was supposed to be doing with my life.  I never really had to be one of those people who had to search for what God’s purpose was for me because I’ve known from a very early age that it was my writing.  Not necessarily writing just in the form of novels, or poetry, or even launching my own magazine and eventually my publishing company.  But my words, they mean something and what I have to say matters.  My vision for where I want to go within my writing career has the potential to really change things and that is something I am not doubtful of.

I made a decision years ago that I could no longer do the 9 to 5 thing.  I couldn’t work towards building someone else’s dream while mine continued to sit on the back burner indefinitely, and on top of that, miss the most important moments of my daughters life because of it.  It’s not that I think that there is anything wrong with that, there are plenty of people who do it and I admire their ability to make that work, it just isn’t something that was working so well for me.  I wasn’t happy, in fact I was miserable, and I feel like my daughter could sense how miserable I was and that it weighed on her too.

I had always felt like I didn’t fit in at those places I worked at, like I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.  Now, I may not have as steady a stream of income coming in as I would like (for now anyway), and I may be seen to those people who don’t consider writing to be a job as always struggling (which may not be far from accurate) and doing nothing, but I am actually a lot happier then I was when I was working a regular full time job and trying to cram in my dream a few hours every night.  I feel as though, as uncertain as where the journey I am on is going to lead me, what isn’t uncertain is that I am in deed on the right journey, for me.

What is the meaning of going through this life if what you are doing, on a day to day basis, pushing towards your future, is not what you want to be doing, if it’s not your purpose?  I feel as though being among other artists; other creative people, other people who are considered to be weird and strange; other people whose broad and elaborate imaginations are considered to be eccentric and unrealistic; this is where I belong.

I Have the Write 2 Be Where I Feel I Belong…What is Your Write 2 Be?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

 

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

 

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I Should Have Kept a Diary As a Child

I started to think about all of the wonderful autobiographies that are written and a great deal of them stem from diaries that the authors kept when they were younger.  I feel like the childhood I had could fill at least two books of teachable moments that could somehow help some other person out there who dealt with some of the same things I did.  The only problem when I try and sit down and capture all of those teachable moments on paper is that I have spent so long trying to forget a good majority of my childhood that now it is hard to piece together every possible moment that would be important to remember.

I never kept a diary when I was younger because I honestly didn’t feel that I had anything good to capture on a page.  Most of my writing that I did was poetry which was how I expressed my emotions but a lot of it wasn’t literal, it was more metaphorical.  The other half of the time I spent writing it was creating stories that were far away from my reality, stories that were much better than my reality.

More and more as I get older and as I realize that a lot of what I went through as a child could really help someone else who might be going through the same thing now.  Now I am really wishing that I had kept a diary when I was younger.  If I am being honest with myself (and I try to be) I sometimes wish that I had kept a diary during childhood because the only memories I seem to be able to access were painful and hurtful ones, and I would like to think that there had to be some good memories in there somewhere.

I know that it couldn’t have been entirely bad but all that seems to stick with me is the abuse that I went through at home and the bullying that I endured, both at school and at home.  Then there were the people in my childhood who I should remember and yet I have no recollection of.  One person in particular who is important to me and I have no memory of them.

I almost admire those who keep a diary or a journal because they will be able to hold onto those memories every single day of their lives.  Even when they are older and can’t remember every detail they want to remember, they can just open up an old diary and there those memories will be.  I sometimes feel like my memories are lost.

I think that it would be a good idea to encourage my daughter to keep a diary so that she can capture all of the things that she wants to remember and express any emotions she needs to get out that she might feel she can’t talk to me about.  I think a diary could be a good outlet for children to express themselves so that they don’t turn to the wrong things or the wrong people.  If you are one of those lucky people who has documented every single detail of your childhood and your adolescence right into your adulthood, then make sure you celebrate those memories and perhaps even share them with others.  You never know what part of what you have experienced on your journey could end up helping someone else.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

 

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

Published in: on January 30, 2013 at 5:24 PM  Comments (4)  
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If Life Were But A Dream

Today I got to thinking about all of the things that I would do if money was not a road block that was standing in my way.  For instance, if I had the available amount of money necessary I would be with my best friend Ms. L. (who just sent me a picture of herself meeting Judge Joe Brown) at a Conference in Miami right now.  I would be able to write down in my calendar all of the other conferences that I would like to attend this year, two of which are in New York, one that is in L.A., and another that happens to be in London, and I would be able to book rooms at the most prominent hotels in which I might run into people who were necessary for me to network with.

I would actually probably already be living in some condo in Manhattan and I finally wouldn’t have to worry about the monthly mortgage.  I could have already taken my trip to Europe by now and have a first hand knowledge of what it is like to dine in ParisFrance, or in RomeItaly, or in London.  I would already have been able to start my research for my historical fiction novel by my extensive trips taken to Germany and visiting all of the important landmarks that were important to the history of World War II.

If money were not a hindrance I certainly would have a car that is paid for so I don’t have that dreaded feeling of worrying about whether the car note is going to get paid on time this month, or at all.  I would have some of the best artwork from some of the world’s most famous artists hanging in the walls of my home as well as floor to ceiling handcrafted bookshelves in a separate room that I have made into my own personal library.

I know that we are supposed to not let the little things stand in the way of getting what we want and reaching our destination and as many times as I have seen people who struggle just like me with money accomplish what seems impossible, lack of money is not one of those little things that you can just bypass.  I read countless stories about how successful writers have gotten to where they are regardless of their lack of money and I am a tad bit envious.  As many times as I have managed to string together my own share of miraculous feats without two nickels to rub together, those miracles still haven’t gotten me to my goal yet.  All I keep seeing every time there is something that I need to accomplish for my business and for my writing career is the money that I don’t have staring me right in the face, day in and day out.

I try not to let it get me down most days and I certainly try not to let that discourage me from continuing to push and move forward but some days it gets a little daunting.  Nevertheless, I will not give up, that’s just not in my nature.  However, every now and then I have to get my frustrations out and not let them fester in my mind because I have learned from experience that that just isn’t a good thing to do.

The reality is that money is a huge issue in a lot of the goals that I want to accomplish but as it comes my way (little by very little) I try to put as much of it as I can afford to spare towards my dreams and it gets me a little closer to my destination.  I know I can’t be the only person who feels this way so I just wanted to share so that anyone else out there who is feeling the frustrations that lack of money sometimes make us feel knows that they are definitely not alone.  Just keep moving forward!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

The Sky Is the Limit

I am consistently thinking of how I can make this year different from the previous ones.  A part of making changes within yourself and within your life is to evaluate the things that you need to change on a regular basis.  I’ve spent a lot of time placing limits on what it is that I can do in terms of my writing career.  I’ve spent a lot more time setting up boundaries that were supposed to protect me from my own big elaborate dreams and box me in to reality.

A lot of that came from listening to those negative people that were in my life, whose opinions once meant so much to me, telling me that I was only kidding myself and that having a successful career as a writer just wasn’t possible.  Although I discarded those negative people (well all except my mother—kind of hard to cut that tie) and banished their subliminal messages that continually seeped into my subconscious, it is harder to remove my own self-doubts and the limitations that I placed on myself.

It is easy to think of all of the things that you can’t do, for one reason or another, but the challenge is in removing all of those limitations and allowing yourself to envision the possibilities of what you can do.  I heard something when I was watching an Oprah interview that she did with L.L. Cool J and he mentioned some advice that Michael Jackson once gave him.  He told him to “never limit yourself”.

Some of us have such a hard time removing all of those years worth of limits that were self imposed, but just hearing those three words, it sounds so very simple.  Why am I placing all of these perimeters around me to protect me from failing when I don’t know that that’s what would happen.  And if it did, would that really be so bad.

There are some that say failing is actually what made them a better writer, or a better business person, and even more willing to take risks.  I am interested in seeing how removing those limits that I have always clung to and taking more risks is going to change things this year.  I think that it is giving me more confidence in my capabilities as a writer and as a business person.  I think that it is allowing me to be more open to change and in seeing what’s behind some of those doors that I feel are hard to open.  When you limit your own ideas of what it is that you can do, you also are limiting the possibilities of what it is that you can do for others.

I have the Write 2 Be Limitless with My Dreams…What is Your Write 2 Be?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

The Artist That I Am Not

I have a secret wish.  I have always, in one way or another, wanted to be able to create visually stunning art.  Whether it would’ve been paintings, or drawings, or photography, or even graphic designs; anything that had to do with creating something that was visually stunning.

I always thought that is would be the perfect combination to add to my writing.  I could create my own covers after creating a wonderful story for everyone to engage themselves in and someday if I wanted to write children’s books then I could be the writer and the artist, sort of like a one stop shop.

Unfortunately while I was blessed with many creative talents to tap into (writing, singing, playing an instrument), drawing, painting, or taking a halfway decent picture was just not among those talents.  I have often thought about learning how to draw but every attempt (my sister, who is able to draw beautifully, tried to teach me a couple of times) at actually trying just proved to be pointless and a waste of the talents that I actually do have.

I don’t typically think about the type of artist that I am not but every now and then, I’ll see some beautiful painting or someone drawing something that is just extraordinarily beautiful and I’ll wish for just a few moments that I could create something like that.  It was just never meant for me to be visually artistic but for those of you who are, I admire you so much.  Don’t take the art that you create for granted and be proud of the visions that you are able to translate for the rest of the world to see.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

Do I Fall In the Middle?

I read an article on a blog that I just started following this morning that seemed to clear up a lot of things that I sit and wonder about on a regular basis.  It talked about the 3 categories of writers that exist within the world of Hollywood.  The top level of writers is considered the professionals and those who are talented and have proven their talent and are hitting their stride as a professional writer.  The bottom level of writers are those who aspire to be a writer but who do not necessarily have the talent to back it up and they don’t really have the desire that is needed to become a successful writer.

Then there is the level of writers that fall right there in the middle.  These are the talented writers who have the ability to be successful and they have more than enough determination and desire but they just can’t get the right doors to open for them.  After reading this article I really had to wonder if I am that writer in the middle.  The answer really didn’t take that long to come to me.  Of course I am.

I am sitting right on that middle level, with the passion, the determination, the desire, and definitely the talent that it takes and I keep trying to push open door after door but the right one’s, the one’s that will lead me to that ultimate success that I’m striving for, they just won’t open up.

It’s often frustrating to go online and stumble upon blogs from people who (I’m just going to bluntly say this) just aren’t that talented and whose paragraphs are riddled with grammatical errors one right after the other and yet they have thousands and thousands of followers.  They are the one’s that are starting to turn a profit and starting to see the money come in like it’s falling off a tree.  It puzzles me and I just want to know what door they are walking through so I could at least go and knock on some of those same doors.  I am tired of being that writer in the middle standing in front of a door that just refuses to open up for me.

That’s what this year is about for me, changing that.  It’s about pushing through those doors and busting them down if need be.  I feel like I am off to a good start and going in the right direction but I know that I should be doing more because what I dread more than anything is getting to the end of this year and standing in front of those doors that still won’t open up.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

Evolve or Be Left Behind

So in a career field such as writing there are many changes that have taken place.  There used to be a time when being published in print was the most desired end result by writers and the possibility of accomplishing it was damn near impossible.  Then technology came along in a huge and powerful way and allowed writers who weren’t able to get those sizeable publishing contracts from the bigger publishing houses to publish their own work in their own way and on their own time table.

Of course this then presented writers with having to do all of the hard work that the big publishing houses would have done for you such as marketing and publicity and booking their own interviews and book signings.  This then made writers more then just storytellers but also formidable business people as well.  Now, not only are writers able to self-publish their books in print form but technology has paved way for the ebooks for those (who for some reason that I have yet to figure out) who prefer to read their books through ereaders, kindles, and nooks.

Ebooks do make publishing easier, more affordable, and sometimes even more profitable.  Now I know that I have said before that I do not necessarily approve of reading my books in the form of ebooks, but I also acknowledge that as I am trying to grow my business and become more successful within the writing world, I need to give in to the times at some point.  That point is coming very soon.  Now I have a lot of research to do in the area of ebooks because I certainly don’t want to just put a product out there without knowing what I am doing, but I know that it is a step that has to be taken.

I don’t want to let my resistance to change hold me back from progressing and becoming more of a success.  This year is about moving forward and not holding myself back by refusing to budge as the world evolves around me.  Now this does not mean that I am going to turn into a kindle or nook user and suddenly start reading my books on those devices because I still prefer turning the pages of a physical (preferably hardback) book and that still is the method of reading that works for me.  However, I acknowledge that a lot of the people that I want to read my work probably don’t prefer to still read their books that way and I want to be read by everyone.

So of course after I have done all of my research and gathered my materials together and start producing ebooks to further grow my business, my readers here will be the first to know and hopefully the first to support.  So that is one way that I plan on evolving within my writing career this year.  How are you planning on evolving in yours?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

The Time to Incite Change is Now

Yesterday was one of those days that make you want to incite change, not only within yourself but in the world.  Between it being Martin Luther King Jr. day and the Inauguration day of President Barack Obama you couldn’t help but to be inspired and hopeful for the bright future that this country has ahead and the mark that you could someday leave on it.  It just feels like the time to change things is now and that in this present moment you have to be willing to stand up and be that difference that this world needs.

When I think of all of the great people who incited the change that has been made in this world, I think about the fact that these were people who refused to remain silent or stand still.  They were people who didn’t care if no one else shared their beliefs or their opinions they were going to make their belief and opinions heard anyway.  They were not going to be afraid to step outside of the box that other people kept trying to keep them in.  They weren’t afraid to be that change that the world needed and make their mark.

I would like to think that I have already started on that journey to make a great change within this world.  While it is only the beginning of this year, with the release of my new magazine and my first guest blog post, which was published last week, that seems to be well received, I am feeling more and more like everything is starting to fall right into place.  There are so many things that I want to do in this world and so much change that I want to make.

My dream started off with just writing, then evolved into wanting to build a publishing house, and evolved even more into wanting to create a media empire to pass on to my daughter that not only encourages artists to not conform to what society says they should be, but that they should celebrate their uniqueness.  I also, as I saw my daughter begin to experience the bullying that I also once went through as a child, developed an urge to want to use my message for my media company to begin communicating to young children that they should feel okay with being who they are and know that being different is not something to be ashamed of but rather something to embrace.

I’m not sure what it is about this year that feels so different but it just feels like it’s going to bring about the changes that I’ve been waiting for.  Of course some of those developments I am working towards are still in the making but I feel like I’m getting so much closer to my destination.  I am going to change this world, in my own way and in my own time.  I believe all of us have that power.  We just have to tap into it.  Did yesterday inspire you to want to move toward change?

I have the Write 2 Be Motivated and Empowered… What is your Write 2 Be?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

How To Get To The Root of Your Procrastination

Today I have found myself procrastinating once again, or maybe I am just a little blocked and can not produce anything decent to write.  It is only fitting that my Guest blog post on getting to the root of your procrastination was published on the Procrastinating Writers Blog.  Click the link below to check it out and let me know what you think.

 

How To Get To The Root of Your Procrastination.

Unstuck and Heading in the Right Direction

I finally launched my magazine the other day and I am feeling really excited about all of its possibilities.  Initially I was scared (or maybe nervous would be a better word) about its release for all of the obvious reasons that anyone would be nervous going into a new venture.  This magazine is a big deal for me and the whole meaning behind Write 2 Be is important for me to get out.

Of course, as with any big venture that you embark on, I am discovering that all of the hard work that went into putting the initial debut issue out is really only just beginning because then there lies the responsibility of promotion and marketing that all falls on me.  Now anyone who reads this blog or who knows me already knows that I struggle deeply with the marketer that is supposed to live inside of me.

As a writer who does not have an agent as her advocate and who has not “hit it big” yet with some big contract from some major publishing house, and without some publicist slaving away on her behalf, I am learning how to market as I go along.  I was one of those aspiring writers who naively just thought that any publishing house would accept her work and of course they would have their own team of marketers and publicists that are working feverishly on behalf of my impending career and success.

Well that just isn’t how things worked out and nowadays as a writer trying to make it you have to be a good marketer of yourself and admittedly I am not.  I suppose it is mostly that I usually feel awkward patting myself on the back and that stems from personal childhood issues but I have slowly but surely started to get past that.  I am getting more adapt to being my own best supporter but it is definitely still a work in progress and is certainly not easy.

Having said all of that, with the release of my magazine I realized that this is a step in the right direction.  I had been feeling stuck within my writing and my drive towards success as a writer but now I know I am heading the right way towards my ultimate goals.  I felt stuck last year, and possibly even the year before that and I hadn’t realized why until I released the Write 2 Be Magazine.

I feel like I am now really beginning to fulfill my purpose and that I am starting to see my vision becoming the reality I knew it could be.  I feel revived and much surer of where I am headed and that I am definitely on the right path.  I feel very optimistic about this year as it pertains to my writing career and I am going to hold on to that optimism for as long as I can.

I have the Write 2 Be Proud and Inspired… What is your Write 2 Be?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

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