April 2023 – Write 2 Be

I’ve been trying to learn to love the season of life I am in but I’m not going to lie, it’s not easy when you feel like you should be in a much different place than you actually are. In my head I know that everything that happens to us or around us, happens for a reason but a lot of those reasons don’t seem apparent right away. It takes patience to be able to appreciate the tough times in life just as much, if not more, than you do the good times and as anyone who knows me knows, patience is not my strong suit.

I get frustrated with the things that I can’t make sense of. I mean there are things that I make mistakes in and genuinely know and understand that this error falls on me because I messed up. However, when I know that I’m doing everything that I can, that I am busting my (pardon my French) ass to make things happen the best way that I know how with the tools that I have (because I don’t always have the tools that I need but I do the best I can) and then I still don’t see the results that I should see it’s frustrating and it’s stressful.

There is supposed to be a time for everything and a purpose for every struggle, but I keep wondering what is the purpose of me being held down and pushed back. Every time I get right to the place where I think I might be about to break through, I just keep getting knocked back down. I don’t stay down mind you, because I don’t quit, but with every hit I find that it’s taking me a little longer to pull myself back up.

I know that nothing worth having in life ever comes easy or without hard work and I don’t have a problem with that. It just starts to feel pointless when you never see anything, or much anyway, come from that hard work. Some days I can appreciate that when I finally do break through (because I will), no one will ever be able to say I didn’t work hard for it, or that I didn’t earn that breakthrough. However, I would also greatly appreciate at least one clear path to the next level.

In any event, I guess this too shall pass. Like so many of you, I’ll just have to keep on pushing that boulder up a hill until I get through this set of obstacles. I definitely will be taking some hard-earned lessons with me into the next season of my life and with any semblance of luck and an infinite amount of Faith the next season will be my greatest yet to come. Here’s to a better season if this one has been a rough one for you too.

Until next time… #BePatient #BeTenacious #BeDiligent

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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I have a huge issue with doubt. As in I have a lot of it. I second guess myself all of the time and it is really starting to annoy me. I wish I wasn’t like this. That I could be one of those people who just takes big leaps of faith and trust that everything is going to work out okay. In theory, because I am a person who deeply believes in God and have a faith in Him that is just ingrained in my spirit, one would think that I would never doubt a thing. But just because the logical part of my brain knows that in the end God will always be there for me no matter whether things work out the way that I want them to or not, the other part of my brain, the not so logical side, just doubts whether everything is going to really work out okay. To put this in terms of my writing career and all the business things I’m attempting, I am busting my butt trying to make things work and it just seems the harder I try the more they don’t work.

For instance, I took a really long time to start my online store with the writing related products, with messages and sayings that I am passionate about and stand behind. I believe they are good products and people have told me that they like my online store and the set-up and everything and yet, nothing. Now I’m not saying that nothing has sold, but certainly not enough to generate a decent income and not nearly as much as I think it should be. I know that most of this is because of marketing but I don’t have money to hire a person to do the marketing and clearly, I’m not doing a good enough job on my own. It’s frustrating. I have books that are out and while those are moving, it certainly would be nice if more of them were moving (but all writers wish to be selling out tons of their books, so I don’t think I’m alone in that lol) so again, frustrating.

There are other things I have in the works, but it just makes me doubt moving forward with those things if the things I already have up and running aren’t working. Some days it just leaves me feeling like such a failure and I don’t know what to do with that feeling. It’s like I’m certainly not where I thought I would be in my life by this point but I’m definitely not as bad off as I could be. I could have stayed stuck in a pit of doubt and just never put out a book or never opened my online store and just lived in the land of what if, but I didn’t. I did the things. I put my work and dreams out there. I just would like to see the fruits of my labor.

But am I laboring enough is the question I find myself asking? Am I doing enough with what I have (which isn’t very much)? There are people who literally don’t sleep working to make their dreams a success and while I don’t require a lot of sleep, as someone who is disabled, physically I simply can’t sacrifice all of my sleep. Does that mean that I don’t want it bad enough if I’m not willing to just sacrifice everything? You see what I mean? I question and second guess everything and I just would really like to be sure about whether I’m doing all the right things or not. I would like to not feel like I’m failing at absolutely everything.

I guess I’m just sharing this today in case there is someone else out there who is feeling this way, or similar to how I’m feeling. What makes things worse sometimes is when you think that you are alone in the things that you are feeling so if you are also having some doubts about the direction you are going, you’re not alone in feeling that way. Understand that it is a period that we all go through (maybe some of us more than others lol) and we just have to keep pushing forward. Sometimes we are just going to have to keep pushing through, even with all the questions we have rumbling around in our minds. It’s the only way to make those dreams of ours come true. Even if you are not like the ones who leap first and ask questions later, if you have to be nudged a little off that tree branch, the important thing is that we still take the leap, otherwise we can never soar.

Until next time… #BeBold #BeBrave #BeFearless