Shadow of a Doubt

Ever wake up one day and wonder where exactly is your life going?  Why aren’t you any closer to accomplishing your dreams and succeeding at what you want?  Why do you keep listening to that voice inside your head telling you to doubt everything you thought you were good at and to let all your dreams die with that doubt?  There aren’t any easy answers to those questions and sometimes realizing that you haven’t done all that you could do to reach those goals is the nice kick that you need to get yourself back in high gear again.  So many times we let our dreams just die when we’ve become stuck and think that we’ll be in a rut forever.  We settle into a feeling of despair and let our life just sink into the quicksand so deep it’s almost too late to pull it out.  Call it a mid-life crisis or just hitting “rock bottom” but no matter what we choose to call it we can not let it stop us from rescuing our dreams from that doubt.

After realizing that my own worst enemy is my procrastination, lack of patience and of course that reliable self doubt you would think that I would be able to do something about the quicksand that my life seems to be sinking into but it is always harder to fix your own problem with your creativity.  As a writer I find that I doubt my talent and whether or not I can accomplish my goals almost every day and three times a day when those moments of “writer’s block” intervenes and I can’t seem to get anything done.  I have wanted to call it quits with writing so many times and just submit to not being a good writer but I can’t do that.  More importantly I won’t do that.  I’ll admit that I had hoped to have a lot more done by now and that I thought I would at least be on my path to the bestseller’s list but that isn’t how things seem to be going.  I just have to accept that it will take a little bit longer than I would’ve liked it to but it can be done.  That’s not to say that I won’t have those moments of wanting to throw in the towel again but I just have to get past that and keep moving forward. 

A little self doubt isn’t necessarily a bad thing because honestly sometimes doubt is as much a part of the writing process or anything else you might want to do.  Without extending yourself past your comfort zone you would never continue to grow in your endeavors but when the doubt takes over and turns into self-sabotage it then becomes one of the top things on the list of reasons why you don’t succeed.  You have to cast out your doubt with determination.  You have to somehow ignore that voice that’s taking away your confidence and whispering to you telling you that you can’t achieve whatever it is that you want.  You have to have enough faith in yourself and in your talent, whatever it may be, that you can banish that voice of doubt that is allowing your dreams to just slip away and finally get past the point of just being “stuck”.

Jimmetta Carpenter


The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”


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