Maybe Things Would Have Been Better If…

Often times I wonder (too often to actually count) if I made the right decision by choosing not to go back into the traditional work force as most single parents do and make that steady and stable income every other week.  I mean let’s face it, it’s not as if I have hit it big or anything and if I want to get real honest I am not doing as well in my writing career as I thought I would be by now, or that I know I should be doing.  

I think of all the things I want to buy for my daughter and the activities that I would like to put her in to enhance her creative nature that I just can’t afford right now and I wonder what the hell am I doing and I constantly wonder am I completely screwing her life up by not just accepting the fact that this just isn’t working and maybe it’s just not for me.  I mean it’s not like it wouldn’t be nice to have a steady and predictable stream of income coming in that I know I can count on.  

But then yesterday morning as I was getting my daughter ready for daycare (it acts as a camp during the summer) she said ‘thank you mommy’.  I asked her what she was thanking me for and she replied ‘for taking such good care of me’.  She said that I am always there when she needs me.  She almost brought me to tears and I was so touched.  She made me feel like the choice not to go back to a traditional job and stay home with her, all while still pursuing my dreams of making what I love to do my career, was totally worth it.  Yesterday, just her appreciation of me, let me know that it was the right decision, for me anyway.  

It is all the more motivation to let me know that I have to have less moments of procrastination and more moments of productivity because I have to make this work, I have to do what I know in my heart I was meant to do.  Not just because I love doing it and it is my passion, but because being able to write and become more successful at it makes moments like yesterday with my daughter even more possible.  

It would make it more of a certainty that I will continue to always be here when she needs me and that I will always take very good care of her.  More importantly it will show her that you can go after your dreams and make it work even though everyone else around you may be telling you that you’re crazy for ever thinking this could work and to be more realistic.  I want her to not be afraid to go after her dreams and to not have to think that going after her dreams is going to do more harm then good.  

So in an effort to procrastinate less and produce more, I am going to make it a point to accomplish at least three things every week (3 is a nice workable number) to get me further along in my writing career.  Whether it is actually working on my novel (which is still not finished) or just getting those query letters that I keep trying to make perfect sent out so someone can actually see them.  Even if it is just gathering research for a particular project, that is still working towards the end goal of finishing that project.  I think that is a goal that I can work with and actually stick to.  

Until I do make things happen the way that I want them to, I have to work on tuning that voice in the back of my mind that questions if things would’ve been better if I had made another choice.  Fact of the matter is that I will never know the answer to that because I chose to do me and not what someone else might have thought I should do.  I’m certainly not going to become the success that I want to be by doing what everyone else thinks I should.       

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

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Even With Good Intentions There Are Still Distractions

Good intention without the action to back it up is just that, intention.  There’s no real follow through involved in the things that you intend to get done, just a lot of wishing you had actually accomplished your task.  I had a plan this morning to get all of this work done on a couple of my projects and I even went to the great lengths of bringing my notebooks and my laptop out into the dining room where the T.V. was not on to distract me (I have a T.V. in the living room but the only one who really watches that one is my daughter).  

I tore myself away from one distraction only to be plagued with a lot of emotions and thoughts running through my mind about some personal stuff that lead to me calling Ms. L. to talk, thus diverting my attention away from all of the work that I had intended to get done.  The conversation that I had was good, don’t get me wrong, and it was something that I needed to talk out with someone (since I can’t really talk them out with the person that I really needed to talk them out with), but it gave me another excuse to use for not getting any writing done.  

I suppose that one could say that talking out what was going on in my head did in some way help me get something done.  If I hadn’t I would still be sitting here, staring at a blank computer screen with a bunch of unnecessary thoughts running through my mind (that have nothing to do with any project I’m working on), and I would become completely blocked.  In addition, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity of writing this particular blog post.  

Sometimes what appears as us being unproductive can help us break through those walls that are blocking us from our greatest potential.  I guess the good intentions that you don’t always manage to follow through on just might lead to something else that was intended to work out better for you in the long run.    

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress 

I Don’t Like Looking At the Empty Calendar Squares

I don’t like it when I feel a touch of envy.  Not a bad envy (although I’m not really sure there is a good kind of envy) but the kind of envy that motivates you into actually doing something.  Now you might be wondering, if it motivates me to get going again, then why wouldn’t I like it? 

It can never be a bad thing to get re-motivated to do something that you know you should already be doing.  That’s just it right there.  I don’t like it because it’s something that I already know in the back of my mind, that I should be doing as it is and that I shouldn’t have to watch or read about other people doing it to get moving in that direction.  

I was reading some other bloggers posts as I was doing some research for a project, and I kept reading about other writers having such busy schedules.  Talk about going to conferences, and doing book signings, and interviews, and things of that nature; the things that I feel like I should be out there doing too.  

It’s not as if I wouldn’t like to have a full calendar and to have to tell people that I have this book signing to do, or that conference to speak at, or this interview to give.  In fact every year when I buy those desk calendars or day planners I can see in my mind the pages, one after the other, full of appointments and deadlines that just can’t be missed.  And yet year after year those pages have gone blank, left unfilled, and more time passes.  

I guess the only thing left to really figure out is when I am going to get around to filling those pages up.  I suppose I would have to finish filling up the pages of the rest of my novel that is still undone, or finish one of the other projects that I am working on.  It’s not easy to have those blank squares on the calendar taunting me with missed opportunities.  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

From One Struggling Writer to the Rest Who Think They Are Struggling Alone

Sometime last week (it may have been the week before that) Ms. L sent me a link to a blog post titled Don’t Break the Chain by a wonderful blogger named Catherine Ryan Howard who I am now following (and you all should be too).  Ms. L knows I have been struggling with finding the time to write and work on all things related to my writing business so she thought that this would be helpful.  Well as usual, Ms. L always knows just what I need to read (and hear) to get me jump started again.  Of course it helped to know that this post also helped Ms. L as well because I knew that I was not alone in my struggles to be productive in my writing efforts.  

Well the blog post talked about many things in regards to one being more productive but more importantly it gave the idea of marking off days on a calendar with a red X for every day that you have accomplished your daily writing goals, whether it be actually writing or working on the business side of your writing career, and of course after so many days of seeing a chain of red X’s you get into the mode of not wanting to break that chain and having to see those X’s stare you in the face everyday becomes an incentive to actually get things done. 

Well there is a website that helps with that, for those of us who don’t want to go out and buy a huge wall calendar to mark down the days.  The website (once you register) will allow you to mark each day with a red square for every day that you have achieved your daily goals and you can even create other chains for you business efforts or whatever other goals you want to set.  I signed up (almost immediately) and have found it to be extremely helpful.  

I have actually been getting things done because I simply just don’t want to break the chains that I have created for myself.  Who knew something so simple as marking off days on a calendar could be so helpful in keeping me focused and making me produce more work.  I hope that any of you out there who is struggling with this very same issue clicks on the links to the websites and gets started on their road to becoming more productive.   

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress