The last couple of weeks have been a struggle and a true test of my will to stick to my purpose and hang in there for the long haul. I had a wonderful opportunity lined up through a friend and to make a long story short the opportunity fell through and it would have been a huge stepping stone towards greater things. My first thoughts were to just give up. I wanted to quit because it just seems that lately nothing is going the way that it is supposed to and everything is completely falling apart. It seems like the walls are caving in all around me to the point where I won’t be able to climb out from underneath the rubble.
I sat and wondered why would God give me this purpose, afford me the ability to obtain the tools to carry out this purpose, and then keep removing every opportunity that could bring me closer to achieving that purpose. I don’t want to make it seem as though I would ever question God and his plan or the way that his plans come to fruition but when you are trying to do everything that you think is right but nothing seems to be working (at least not as well as you would like it to) you start to wonder a little.
I keep coming across quotes and inspirational messages that seem to be screaming at me the answers to my questions, in particular “you may not like where you are but you wouldn’t be there if God didn’t have a purpose for it” and of course my favorite “without tests there are no testimonies”. These sayings keep being brought to my attention in this period of struggle and I am reminded that my plans and Gods plans are not necessarily the same. Even if they were the same as far as the destination, he may have a completely different route planned on how I get to that end result.
What God is doing, I may not even begin to understand it until it all starts to fall into place but the toughest part is having the patience (which I strongly lack) and the faith to wait out God’s plan and not get so frustrated that I give up altogether. Now I’ve never been a quitter so I don’t think that I am going to start now but I sure would not mind seeing some sort of light (even a peek) at the end of the tunnel. However, I understand that as long as God knows where the light is at the end of that tunnel and is guiding me towards it then it doesn’t matter the path that he uses to get me there. I just have to trust that he will get me there.
I won’t lie and say that I completely understand the methods. I won’t even lie and say that I don’t wish that they could be a lot less stressful on me. While I don’t like to be in a position of struggle I understand that for some people, the struggle is a part of the journey in order for them to be a blueprint to others. So today, and every day, embrace your struggles and be proud of the tribulations that you have endured and will endure because you never know who your story is going to be a blueprint for. Stay strong and hang in there, the struggle will be worth it.
Jimmetta Carpenter
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