“No one will ever see me quit, because I simply won’t. If I start something, I will finish it and do it well.”
I was thinking the other day about whether or not all of this time I have been trying to pursue my dreams of writing full time, owning my own publishing company, and magazine, I have just been kidding myself into thinking that I can really do this. Maybe I’ve just been kidding myself that I am good enough to do this. I mean I know I can write and that isn’t the problem. It’s all of the other stuff that goes along with forging a successful writing career and becoming a successful entrepreneur, like being techno-savvy, and most importantly being able to put the money into it. I think that I may have been kidding myself to think that sheer talent was all that it would take to turn my dreams into reality and that money was secondary because as much as I would like to think that money is not necessary when you have the talent and the drive, that is far from the truth.
In the midst of this negative line of thinking that I try not to let get to me I was reminded of a song the other day from the movie The Five Heartbeats called “We Haven’t Finished Yet”. In the first line of the song it talks about the fact that there are some people who run at the first sight of stormy weather and some people hold on and work it out. I had to stop and think, “I’m not a quitter”, I don’t run just because something doesn’t work out the way I want it to, that just isn’t me at all. The song made me think about how sometimes we just have to deal with things the way they are at the present moment and not get so caught up in the way that we wish that things could be. True, things are not going the way I had hoped they would, but that just means I’m going to have to find other avenues to take towards making my dreams a reality.
There are always going to be more days that I just want to throw my hands up and say forget it and just give up but I feel like if I give up now I’ll be missing out on my blessing that may be just around the corner. The devil has really been working on my spirit and making me have all kinds of doubts about myself and my dreams and what contribution I can make to this world. It’s funny how he seems to know just what buttons to push to make you start to go down the wrong path. It’s even funnier just how strong you have to be to get back on the right one. When I get to thinking that I can’t do this and I should just give up I’m going to remember the Five Heartbeats movie and think about that song and that “No matter how hard it gets” I’m not finished yet.
The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)
Writing as “Jaycee Durant”