I think that sometimes people, particularly artists, have a hard time trusting ourselves. I’ve noticed that with myself at least. I know I’ve shared with all of you in the past that I constantly second guess myself and then when I decide on something, I rethink it and wonder if I made the right choice. I wonder if I’m good enough. Sometimes I even think that when I have confidence in something that I might be getting too far ahead of myself because maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t be nearly as confident as I am.
I tend to give advice to others about trusting their gut and doing what they know if right for them and trust that God will not steer them wrong or allow them to get too far off course. I give good advice that I never seem to be able to take myself. I seem to have no problem filling my head with all of these false negatives, I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not strong enough, I didn’t work hard enough, I didn’t try enough, but the odd thing is that deep down inside I know those to be false statements and yet they are so much easier to believe then the truth. Why do we do that?
We tell ourselves the worst, perhaps trying to not allow ourselves to get big headed or to get overly confident or to get our hopes up, but why shouldn’t we be all of those things? Why shouldn’t we be confident and why shouldn’t our hopes be raised? Joel Osteen said something in one of his sermons that stuck with me. He said “you can’t have faith if you don’t first have hope”. We’re always so worried about the other shoe dropping from somewhere out of the sky to make everything around us crumble.
The fact is that so many things can go wrong that we don’t need to add to it by standing by and waiting for what we presume might be the inevitable. Instead of worrying about this invisible shoe from some unknown place and filling our heads with all of these false negatives that we like to tell ourselves about our own abilities, why don’t we just chose to act now. Act on those instincts, don’t second guess, don’t over think, don’t wonder if you’re good enough, don’t question all that might go wrong, just take action.
Think of all of the opportunities you’re walking right pass while you are worrying and waiting for that other shoe that just might never drop. It’s a false expectation that helps to foster all of those false negatives that you have come to rely on to be true. Sometimes the lies we tell ourselves can end up being the death of all of our dreams.
The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)
Writing as “Jaycee Durant”
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