Don’t Over Plan Your Way Out of Opportunities

Missed Opportunities

I woke up today and realized something. I waste entirely too much time planning. I have always been a planner, one who has to have a list for everything and everything in its place before I go for the end goal. When I was younger it worked for me and my love for being the list maker and the consistent planner grew. But as I got older the plans and the lists began to hinder me because what I never accounted for in all my planning and goal setting was life just unfolding as it was going to, as it was inevitably meant to.

I have a tendency to plan so thoroughly that by the time I am done with the plan the opportunity to actually follow through with any of those plans has long passed me by. I will think of something, have a vision for something if you will, and by the time I have worked through all the lists and plans it ends up being too late and someone else has presented something to the world far too similar to mine for me to move ahead with it.

It’s like the story where the man is waiting to be rescued from the sinking boat he’s on and every person that is sent to rescue him he tells them that he is waiting on God to rescue him and to take someone else. When he drowns he asks God why didn’t he save him and God tells him that he sent three different people to rescue him and he refused them. Essentially he sent the opportunity that he needed and he missed it. I feel like I might have missed far too many opportunities that were sent my way because it didn’t fit with the plan, or undoubtedly because I hadn’t finished planning for that opportunity and I was blinded to what was presenting itself right in front of me.

For example, quite a long time ago I had an idea for a show about women living their lives behind prison bars and about what they go through, how they get treated, how they maneuver their new lives. I started making plans and lists but it was never quite as perfect as I needed it to be and before I knew it I was hearing about this new show on Netflix, “Orange is the New Black” and (No, no one stole my idea, I never communicated it to anyone else) I watched it and felt deflated as I saw what I had been planning for unfold from someone else’s imagination. It was my own fault and my own neurosis that kept me from what could’ve been a breakthrough opportunity had I only not wasted so much time trying to make it perfect.

I say all this to say that if you too are like I was, like I have been, stop wasting so much time trying to make everything just right, and planning everything through to a tee. I’m not saying don’t plan at all, or don’t have your lists. I’m saying don’t focus so much on the lists and the plans that you forget the goal, the vision, and so you don’t miss the opportunities that can come your way while you’re busy planning. Sometimes the opportunities can be so small that if you blink you’ll miss it so pay attention to what’s in front of you before your lists and plans are all that you end up with. Until next time… plan less, live more!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Published in: on March 16, 2016 at 11:02 AM  Leave a Comment  
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Boxes on a Shelf

boxes on a shelf

I was watching a Joel Osteen Sermon this past Sunday and as always his message was something that I could really relate to and that resonated with me right at that moment. He spoke about having faith in yourself and in your abilities enough to ask God for what he already said was yours. You know we pray for the things we want out of life and finagle our way around obstacles in order to achieve them. But I think that perhaps if we were more sure about the fact that those opportunities that we want and that we see for our future are already in God’s plan and that they are already ours to grab ahold of we wouldn’t worry so much while we are praying about whether or not they are going to come to pass.

Joel used a metaphor that our opportunities are like moments that are all in boxes, lined up on shelves, in this massive warehouse in heaven, just waiting for the people whose names are on those boxes to actually ask for them. It made me wonder just how big my box of opportunities would be because I know that I am one of those people that while I am praying for my opportunities and wishing that they would come true, I am also crossing my fingers to cover all my bases.

Crossing your fingers is not a sign of true faith, and neither is worrying while you are praying. It’s so funny because I have no trouble believing in other people’s dreams and in the fact that their opportunities will come to fruition but when it comes to mine, it’s like I let all of those demons of doubt cloud what I know in my heart. I don’t want to get to the end of my journey and see my opportunities sitting in these boxes on some shelf just waiting, unclaimed, and unused.

There’s so many other things that I am unsure of in this life but my purpose, my desire to change this world for the better with my message and through writing and other media avenues, that’s not something that I am unsure of. So while you are seeking your opportunities and praying for the doors of opportunity to be opened for you are you crossing your fingers or are you surrendering in faith? It makes a difference on whether or not the right doors will be open or not.

You can’t receive all of the blessings and opportunity that God has planned for you with your fingers crossed because then you are not fully prepared to receive them. So try having absolute faith that what is meant for your life, the opportunities and changes that you have been waiting for, will come to you. And when you have that absolute faith, that unshakable belief, then ask for ALL of what it is that you want. Not some, not just enough to get by, not just one door and then you’ll worry about the next door when you get to it, ask for it ALL. Aren’t you worth EVERYTHING it is that you want?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Published in: on June 18, 2014 at 3:13 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Divine Delays

Divine Delays

There are a lot of things that have been holding me back from taking my writing career to that next level but the biggest thing has been fear. I hadn’t even realized until recently some of the things that I was failing to go after because I was scared that I wouldn’t get it or I wouldn’t accomplish it. It’s funny because without the opportunity falling through that I spoke of the other day I may not have been pushed to begin to do some of these things for the betterment of my writing career that I had been failing to achieve. The reason that I hadn’t achieved them wasn’t due to me being incapable but just me being fearful.

It’s hard to look at a crushing blow as something that may be able to help you in the long run but perhaps that is exactly what that missed opportunity was able to do for me. Perhaps missing out on that one thing helped me open my eyes to the other things that I have been failing to do because of that damaging thing called fear. So perhaps this was a divine delay from God. Not one to hinder me and break me down completely (although that could still be in his plan) but rather to open my eyes to what I was failing to allow myself to achieve.

I suppose that there are some delays in life that are necessary and have to take place in order for you to continue to progress and to grow. We get stagnant sometimes when things are working out well and when things always turn the corner at just the right times. I guess every now and then God has to give us a jolt and a mountain of struggle to remind us that the journey is not over yet and that while we are to enjoy every moment of achievement, we can’t let ourselves get comfortable in the moment we are in because in comfortableness there is no growth. When you get comfortable you don’t want to move, you want to revel in the stage that you are in.

Being uncomfortable makes us move forward, it makes us grow stronger. It makes us press on to our destination instead of standing still. While it is easier said than done to be thankful for the hardships I am in a sense blessed for these divine delays. In some ways they protected me and in others they made me move forward even when all I wanted to do was stand still. So if you are being delayed in your blessing take a good look at whether you are really being delayed or are you actually being propelled forward. Stay uncomfortable and keep moving!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Published in: on April 17, 2014 at 9:26 PM  Leave a Comment  
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I Was This Close To Just Giving Up

Was going to give up 2

I want to give up. I want to just throw my hands up as I am knocked down by life yet again and admit that I’m just plain tired and that I don’t have any fight left in me anymore. I want to just succumb to being average and stop trying to fulfill this extraordinary shit that I thought was my damn purpose in this world. I want to just stop having faith in the future that I can’t see ahead of me because how do I even know that any of that shit is going to happen anyway, just because I believe that is what is meant for me. I want to just say my mother was right and I am never going to amount to anything. I want to just say the hell with everything because I just can’t keep trying anymore and keep continually being disappointed every time I think everything is about to turn the corner and it doesn’t.

But I was reminded by a friend yesterday (we’ll just call him Mr. J) that I can’t think that way. I can’t have a defeatist mind set. I have to just accept what has happened, or the changes that are occurring, especially the changes that aren’t good, determine the solution, and then fix the problem the best way that I can, the best way that I know how. He reminded me that you can’t just let life knock you down and then lay there and not get back up. If I were to do that, then the devil wins and he is smiling because he knows that he overpowered my will to serve out my purpose.

The devil has been extremely busy with me these past few weeks, hell months, and I’ve been told that when the devil is really busy with you, that not only means that you are doing something right but that you have a hell of a victory coming your way. If that is in fact true then my victory is going to be unbelievably sweet. It’s hard when you fall to not just want to stay down because getting back up is hard, particularly when you keep getting knocked back down before you can even catch your breath and get all the way back up.

I couldn’t have wrote this post yesterday because I felt completely defeated and everything in the first paragraph of this post was what I was feeling and what I was going to accept. However I reminded myself this morning that I am not average, nor am I meant to live anything but an extraordinary life. I am not a quitter, I am a fighter by nature and I could never look at myself in the mirror if I didn’t give this absolutely everything that I’ve got and nothing less. My mother is most certainly not right about me because I will amount to everything that God has predestined for me. And I may not have complete and total faith in mankind and the man-made obstacles that are going to fall in my path but I do have absolute faith in God and his power to remove those obstacles when he sees fit.

I would say that I picked a profession that lends nothing but struggle and rejection (at least in the beginning) to it but it was what I truly believe I was placed on this earth to do. It picked me, or should I say God picked it for me. I just had an opportunity that I felt would’ve been changed a lot of things for me, for the better, pretty much snatched away from me. It was made even worse by the fact that the friend who came to me with the project (admittedly because she knew it could possibly be a game changer for me) didn’t fight for me to stay on the project, as I felt she should have. Everyone wants to say that perhaps that was God’s way of saying that opportunity wasn’t meant for me and I’m still very far off from believing that this opportunity wasn’t meant for me but I will say that I am not going to let this new fall keep me down. It is their loss, not mine.

So if you too have been thinking about giving up this week, or this month, I am here to say I understand exactly how you feel. I also know that if you do, you will never forgive yourself and you will always be left with this feeling of what if. The wondering will end up crippling you because you will forever live in the past trying to guess what would’ve happened if you had just hung in there a little longer. Just don’t quit. Don’t give up. Keep fighting because it won’t always be this hard (I have to believe that) and on the day when everything starts to fall in place you will look back on this time period where you had the crazy notion to give up and be thankful that you didn’t. So just hang in there, the victory is coming!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Leaders Must First Learn To Follow

To lead you must first follow 2

I know that you’ve heard the saying “Be a leader, and not a follower” a lot, probably more often than you even care to count. This saying is particularly used towards those who are aspiring to run their own businesses and striving for successes of great measure. I always believed in that saying, for the most part and have always tried to steer clear from ever being put in the category of being a follower. However, I recently have come to a realization that you can’t really be a true leader if you have never known what it is to follow.

I mean following is essentially being a team player. Learning how to work within a setting where it is not just your opinion that matters and things don’t just rely on what you say but on what others say or do as well. After all, once you reach your leadership status, you are asking others that are working for you to be that team player right, and follow you on your journey to help build your dream and your legacy up. Is it not only fair that you, the leader, would have some knowledge of what it is like to be a part of a team, to work with others to form a well working collaboration, to in essence, follow.

How can you blindly ask people to do something for you that you have never at one time had to do for anyone else? You can’t. In all actuality, unless someone was just born into wealth and an already built legacy, you have to follow for quite some time before you ever get to lead anyone. So where did this saying come from? Where did people get the idea that following at some point in your life, is a bad thing? Yes you have people who are natural born leaders but they too must first be followers before they can learn how to lead anyone.

I think that sometimes people get hung up on this saying and pass up on many opportunities that would allow growth within themselves because they don’t want to be labeled as a follower. I myself have done that. Passed on something that would mean I am helping someone else build up their dream but yet taking away from working on building up my own. Not even realizing at the time that those whose dreams that I help to build can then show me the way to in turn build up my own. I may have not seen certain situations for the opportunities that they truly were, all because I didn’t want anyone to ever see me as a follower and not the leader I know I was destined to be.

But see the good thing about getting older and making certain mistakes is that you also get wiser and learn how to work smarter. One of the bigger lessons that I am learning now is that in order to lead you must first learn how to follow. It is the lessons that you learn while following others that you can then take into your journey of leadership. So remember that before you turn your back on opportunities that require you to follow all because you don’t like that label. All leaders were once followers. Stay focused and pay attention!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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You’ve Already Created Who You Are In This Moment

Create your best life

How many times have you heard someone say that they have to go and find themselves?  That they have to search for that knowledge of self, for that sense of purpose?  I have heard that saying a lot used by people, some who were truly lost and others who just truly needed an excuse for why they weren’t doing anything.  I actually hear that phrase from writers a lot because they are always so caught up in making up a life for their characters that they sometimes forget to live the life that they already have.

I heard this quote the other day “The self is not something one finds, it is something one creates”, and it just stuck with me.  People who are always trying to find themselves, trying to figure out what it is they want in life, they don’t realize that in their journey to find themselves, all of the decisions they are making, the mistakes that they are enduring, is already creating who they are meant to be.  Some decisions made for us, when we are too young to know any better, they are in a sense out of our hands, but how we deal with the fallout, the end result, that is in ours.

When we choose something, be it right or wrong, little by little it shapes who we are, and eventually who we become.  None of us start off knowing what kind of person we are going to be at the end of our journey.  Growing up I had to learn and teach myself how to love me.  I guess you could say that who I am now, I created that person and had I made a choice to continue not loving myself and to continue to think that because my mother didn’t love me, or at least didn’t express that love to me, that I was somehow unworthy of that love from others, especially from myself, had I continued down that path I suppose I would have created a whole other type of person than I am now.

So before any of you get it in your head that they need to find themselves and discover who they really are, keep in mind that the decisions you have already been making are already creating the person you were meant to be.  Stop searching for who it is that you think you should be, or should have been and embrace the person that you have already created thus far.  Our journey is not done yet but who we are meant to be is already inside of us, we don’t have to find it, we just have to create it.  Stop waiting for some moment of revelation to come, some big moment where suddenly everything you are is so clear to you.  Create the life you want, don’t sit and wait for it to be created for you to find.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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What’s My Motivation?

What's my motivation

I saw a post on Facebook that asked “What motivates YOU to work hard?” and it got me to thinking about the times when I lose my motivation.  Initially the artistically correct response would be that my passion is what motivates me.  In many ways this is true because honestly unless you start off with a lot of connections in the writing world and you could breeze past the whole submit/rejection portion of rising to the top in your field of fellow writers then who would really want to struggle along this particular path if they weren’t passionate about the art of putting words to paper.

However, if I dig deep into the crevices of my brain and my heart, my motivation for being a writer goes beyond that.  Yes it is true that since I was 6 years old this is what I have wanted to do but the reasoning became different as the years went on.  It was first a fun thing to tell stories and dream up these big, sometimes, unrealistic worlds.  Then it evolved into being the only way that I could truly express how I was feeling because no one would ever listen to my words, but they never minded reading them.  Then it became my escape, where I didn’t want to really tell my story as much as I wanted to tell the story that I wished I was living in.  But once I had a child, it became the way that I could do all of that but still be the mom that my mother wasn’t for me.

My mother was cold and unfeeling, I can’t even remember hearing the words I Love You too much in my house growing up, and I’m not sure if her having to work so hard and so much (sometimes 2 jobs which felt more like I was being raised by my sister) was the reason why she felt she had to shut down emotionally from me and my sister but if that was a reason then I was going to make sure that I didn’t have that reason when it came to my child.  I wanted to be home with my daughter, there when she got out of school, there when she needed anything, said I love you for no particular reason, there to tuck her in at night, and there to play when she wanted to just play.  Writing allows me to do that, to be tuned in to my child the way that I couldn’t be if I were working the traditional job.

I tried that when she was younger, in an effort to get that stable, absolute income while still trying to make it as a writer.  Not only did that take away from the time I could have been putting into my dream but it also drained me mentally and emotionally and I couldn’t show up for my child the way that she needed me too.  Now I know there are millions of women who do it, and manage it well, and perhaps they are better suited to be that kind of parent but I just know that I’m not built that way.

Now I’ve been criticized so many times for not just jumping back into the “regular” work force and having that stable income there and been accused of not thinking about my child in that regard but I disagree.  I think that monetary things and possessions cannot provide emotional stability for a child and yes if you can do the “regular” job thing and still provide emotional support and stability for your child then that’s great.  I know that I can’t.  I’ve tried and I saw myself starting to turn into my mother which was the last thing I wanted for my child.

Going this route is difficult, true, but it also will instill in my daughter another thing my mother didn’t instill in me.  It will teach her to go after her dreams, no matter what they are, no matter how many people tell you that you’re never going to get there, no matter how many people are standing against you, go for them in spite of all of that.  In the end she will have her dream and everyone who was against her will be wishing they could have come along for the ride.  I want my daughter to believe in herself the way that I never did until I was well into my adulthood.  I want her to know that when she waivers on what she dreams up for her life that I will be there to remind her not to give up.  That my giving up will help remind her not to give up.

I want everything for my daughter that I didn’t have growing up and none of that comes with having the largest bank accounts.  Don’t get me wrong, of course there are things I want my daughter to have that money is definitely necessary for in order to give her that, but I want her to know that the important things in life cannot be bought.  Things like love, self-esteem, confidence, work-ethic, belief in oneself and their dreams, and the tenacity to go after those dreams.  Those are things that money can’t give or provide for you.  Think about motivates your hustle today.  Take that motivation and use it to fuel your drive.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Expecting What Is Deserved

Expect good things

Today is going to be my day.  This year is going to be my year.  No really I mean it this time.  I have said that with the passing of each New Year.  That it was going to be my year.  For the couple of years it had turned out not to be my year.  While I sat back and wondered why the year didn’t turn out how I imagined it would I was completely missing the bigger picture.  Now granted I know that last year wasn’t my year because I just threw in the towel but that’s no excuse either.

Watching Joel Osteen yesterday talk about expectancy and true, unwaivering faith in the things that God can bestow upon our lives it hit me.  Every time I claimed that my day was going to be a good one and every year when I proclaimed it would be my year, I didn’t really believe what I was saying.  I wanted to believe it was true but I was so full of despair and doubt that I only halfway believed it.  But if you want God to give you what you expect out of life, what you deserve, and what he wants you to ask for, you can’t halfway believe in his power.  You have to have complete and total faith that God has got you and that what he has for you is yours and yours alone.

So I say today is my day this morning and that this year is my year, totally believing in God’s power and having faith in his plan for me.  However, I also say that with the knowledge that I can’t just expect that everything that is for me is going to just come to me with putting in the work to earn it.

I am working on a couple of projects, one being an ebook series that I will be releasing soon (really soon) and I can’t just expect outstanding results without putting in the work to get them.  So today, for all of you out there who are still struggling with self-doubt and self-sabotage (ebook series on how to work past this coming soon) claim today to be your day, say it with conviction and complete faith.  You have to start somewhere!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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I’m Not Sitting Out This Quarter

“Sometimes in life you have to play in pain.”

~Joel Osteen Life is not about waiting for the storm

I’ve learned (the hard way) that you can’t stop pressing forward for every scrape, every bruise, every hurt ankle.  Yes you may slow down a bit but you have to keep moving or you will never get to where it is you are going.  I hadn’t realized until recently that last year when I just stopped moving and gave up it was as if I was saying that I don’t want to play the game anymore and made myself a bench warmer.

I let all the pain I was feeling and the emotional heaviness stop me cold in my tracks.  At the time I would’ve never admitted to myself that I was doing that but now I am ready to get back in there.  I am ready to play this game whether I am hurt or not, whether I go along limping or skipping, whether I have to cry through the process or smile through it.  One thing is for sure, I am not a bench warmer.  I don’t enjoy watching as things happen right in front of me and even more so I hate when something is happening that I know I am supposed to be a part of and I’m not.

Even when you have those moments where you need to take a five minute rest and collect your thoughts, prepare your next move in your head first, you still have to have the mindset that this is just a break and not a complete stand still.  Watching other people accomplish the things that you want to achieve is what happens when you take too long of a break in your journey.  You have to keep moving, you have to press on and get off of the bench.

Don’t get me wrong, bench warmers are important.  There is always a need for the second string players and they have their purpose but if you know that you are not one, if you know that you belong in that starting position, then don’t sit on that bench and watch while someone else takes the spot that is yours.  Trust me, you will hate every second of seeing someone else live the life that should be yours.  So if you are over there sitting on that bench and you know you are supposed to be starting, then now (not tomorrow, and not a week from now) is the time to take your position back.  It was your position all along, claim it!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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You Have What You Need For the Season You Are In

The season you are in 2

I have a lot of expectations for myself, a lot of big dreams that take putting in a lot of work.  Unfortunately, a lot of the reason that I end up giving up on some of them is because I’m afraid that I’ll never be able to do it perfectly and of course if it’s not done right then it just shouldn’t be done at all.  The problem with that logic is that nothing ends up ever getting done because perfection just doesn’t exist.  Sadly, knowing something logically does not stop you from continuing the same bad habit.

Sometimes you feel like you just don’t have everything you need to accomplish what it is that you want to get accomplished, in order for it to be done just right.  Truth is that God gives us everything that we need for the moment that we are in and if we don’t have it, it’s because we don’t need it yet.  He would never give us the purpose that he gives us, the passion that he gives us, if he were not going to give us the proper tools and skillset to make those things a reality.

I talked with a friend yesterday and she asked me when I was going to start using the YouTube channel that I have and putting it out there that I can sing as well as write.  Someone else asked me about recording my poetry and putting it on there as well.  I came up with quite a few excuses, I’m scared of the camera, I’m afraid that people won’t like it, I don’t think anyone would even look at it, and so on, and so on.

The pressure to be accepted, or to even want to be accepted, is oftentimes overwhelming but then I had to look at it from the other side of things.  What if someone did like it, what if people did look at it, what if me being less afraid could help someone else out there see that they don’t have to be afraid to do it and should just go for it.  What if something I am not doing could help someone else with the same fears?

So this year I am going to put my YouTube channel to good use and promote my other talents, and I’m also going to publish that ebook for Writer’s who Self-Sabotage themselves (When Fear is Knocking) along with self-publishing my next Novel (When Love Calls) and finishing my next two novels (Through the Looking Glass, and The Weight of HER).  I am not going to focus on what I don’t have, but rather focus on what God gave me for the season that I am in right now.

2014 is the year to stop striving for perfection and just strive for completion.  So are you going to take whatever leap of faith you are afraid of taking this year and just get it done?  It doesn’t have to be perfect, but no one will ever be able to see it if it is not at least complete!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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Published in: on January 28, 2014 at 4:56 PM  Leave a Comment  
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