Growth in Gradual Steps

Growth can be hard especially when it means realizing that you can’t do all of the things you were once able to do. My ambition does not always match my physical abilities and that frustrates me to no end. I keep setting goals that, if I take into account my new found physical limitations which oftentimes weigh on my mental state as well, are not realistic goals for the person that I am now. I set them as if I hadn’t been in life changing accidents and as if I haven’t put on more weight due to those life changing accidents curbing my physical capabilities. I set them as if I were the me that I was 5 or 6 years ago and that just isn’t who I am anymore, regardless of how much I wish I was still that person.

In some ways I have grown into a better version of myself and in others, the one’s that I’m more limited in, let’s just say the wisdom did not follow with the age. I still keep thinking I can do things at the same pace, with the same veracity, and the same stamina that I could when I was in my late twenties, or even early thirties. How foolish is it of me to still hold myself to that standard?

I suppose adequate growth would be me adjusting my goals to something manageable that I know I can get accomplished. Here recently I have been working on tailoring my goals to be more in line with what I know I can actually get done not what I think in my head (because in my mind I can do a lot of things that I can’t actually do in reality lol). So far it has been working really well for me and has allowed me to feel less pressure to get things done. But I still have the problem where I still feel like I’m not being productive enough.

I think people who are overly ambitious have this constant need to feel as if every second of the day if productive in some way. When you think about it, that sounds completely irrational because there are things like sleep and taking care of yourself in some way that doesn’t involve doing anything. Sometimes taking care of yourself is simply doing nothing at all. It’s the doing nothing at all part that I would like to get to a place where it doesn’t make me feel guilty. I’m not quite there yet but I’m working on it. I hope that in being as productive as you possibly can you find time to do nothing and simply just be.

Until next time… #BeKindtoYourself #BePatient #BeMindful

Jimmetta Carpenter

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