What has happened is not nearly as important as what can happen. Look to the possibilities of your future for direction, forsaking the burdensome limitations of your past.
~Keith D. Harrell
I was thinking the other day about all of the obstacles that I am going through right now and how much I seem to be struggling lately. I was replaying in my mind what influences led me to this point and why I am inadvertently stuck here. I was asking myself (okay maybe I was actually talking to God- and yes I know you are not supposed to question him) when it was going to be my turn for things to go right. When would all of the efforts that I am putting into making my dreams become a reality finally pay off? It finally dawned on me (or maybe God was answering my question), why am I just sitting here wondering when my opportunity was going to come. I realized that while I am waiting for opportunity to knock at my door, opportunity just may be walking by waiting for me to come get it. It’s not about the luck that flows into your life that you sit and wish that you had. It is about the good fortune that you go out and create for yourself.
Every aspect of your life influences you. All of your past accomplishments as well as your past disappointments have influenced how you chose to live your life. I believe that the people who are supposed to shape your lives when you are younger like your parents, siblings, good friends can only be your crutch for so long. If you had a childhood that wasn’t ideal or was just downright traumatizing, how long do you get to pull that card as your excuse as to why you aren’t where you are supposed to be today? Yes those events in your life do matter and they do share a portion of the blame. However there comes a time when those events have to become your motivation and not your destruction.
I am not saying this as someone who does not need to realize this herself. I have blamed my mother for quite some time now as to my life not turning out quite the way that I wanted it to (at least not yet anyway). I have attributed my lack of belief in myself to the fact that I didn’t have a mother who believed in me, or loved me for that matter, and I have essentially let it become my crutch. What I have not done until now is realized that if she doesn’t believe in me and doesn’t see my potential then that is her misfortune. What I should’ve done all of this time is come to grips with the fact that her lack of faith in my abilities is because of something that she lacks within herself and that it’s not something wrong with me.
So now that I have realized that, I am going to use her negativity and relentless attempts to belittle me, fuel the drive that I have to become exactly what she thinks I can’t. I am not going to let her disbelief in me continue to influence the belief that I have in myself. The power of influence is strong. It is sometimes relentless. It is determined. What you have to figure out is which influences you are going to adhere to. How are you going to let those moments in your life shape who you become? How are you going to keep your past from remaining your present, and more importantly, from becoming your future? Are you ready to cast out the negative influences in your life and reach out to hold onto the positive ones? How much power do your influences hold over you?
The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)
Writing as “Jaycee Durant”