No Risk = No Reward

No Risk No Reward 2

Children are fearless and their tenacity has no boundaries. It’s wonderful and exciting to watch a child get an idea for something and because they have absolutely no fear and no worries about rejection they go for any and everything. I wonder at what age we lose that fearless, tenacious spirit. Adults are far less likely to try new things, unlike children, because all of the fear seeps in. They wonder, what if I get hurt? What if it doesn’t work? What if someone else does this better than me? What if no one gets it? What if no one accepts it? Children miraculously don’t worry about such things. They just go for it! If it fails they simply get back up and try again as if the failure never happened to begin with. Why do we lose that as we get older?

In my more recent journey of becoming more spiritually grounded I knew that one of the things that I needed to work on within myself and that needed to be changed was my many different degrees of fear. I have a lot of defense mechanisms that have become sort of a crutch for me. One particularly bad one that I’ve been trying to break is one where I play out all of the worst case scenarios in my head when thinking about attempting something new or, in my case as a writer, submitting something. And while it is good to be realistic about the good and bad of something so that you can be prepared for either outcome, in my case dwelling on the possible negative outcomes have somehow held me back from even attempting things at all. It wasn’t intentional but I would find ways to talk myself out of doing something or submitting something because I had convinced myself that it was never going to be accepted anyway so why bother.

I have no idea when it happened? When I began to think about all of what made me afraid of going after the dreams I have instead of the wonderful things that can come from achieving them. I wasn’t always so fearful and I used to like taking risks but perhaps my risks were met with too many rejections and not enough rewards. But that’s life isn’t it. Looking back on all of the “failures” I have had in attempting my dreams I can ascertain the many lessons that came out of them. However, I am also realizing that some of the more recent “failures” I have had happened, not because of the risks that didn’t pan out, but rather because of the risks that I was too afraid to take to begin with.

A lot of times we don’t try new things because we can’t predict the outcome. We don’t want to fail so we think that it’s better to never actually try. Somehow it is more appealing to not put ourselves out there because then it means that we can’t get hurt, our ideas can’t get rejected, and no one can tell us that what we’ve poured our hearts into is somehow not good enough. However, that also means that our ideas don’t get heard at all and that what we have effectively poured our hearts into just sits around never being seen by anyone. If we never leave the place that feels comfortable for us, the place that’s safe for us then we miss out on so many things and we will never truly succeed. At that point we would simply be living in our fears instead of living up to our dreams. So, while our comfort zones may make us feel protected we can’t stay there if expect to get to where it is we are destined to end up.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

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The Power of Influence

What has happened is not nearly as important as what can happen.  Look to the possibilities of your future for direction, forsaking the burdensome limitations of your past.

~Keith D. Harrell

I was thinking the other day about all of the obstacles that I am going through right now and how much I seem to be struggling lately.  I was replaying in my mind what influences led me to this point and why I am inadvertently stuck here.  I was asking myself (okay maybe I was actually talking to God- and yes I know you are not supposed to question him) when it was going to be my turn for things to go right.  When would all of the efforts that I am putting into making my dreams become a reality finally pay off?  It finally dawned on me (or maybe God was answering my question), why am I just sitting here wondering when my opportunity was going to come.  I realized that while I am waiting for opportunity to knock at my door, opportunity just may be walking by waiting for me to come get it.  It’s not about the luck that flows into your life that you sit and wish that you had.  It is about the good fortune that you go out and create for yourself.

Every aspect of your life influences you.  All of your past accomplishments as well as your past disappointments have influenced how you chose to live your life.  I believe that the people who are supposed to shape your lives when you are younger like your parents, siblings, good friends can only be your crutch for so long.  If you had a childhood that wasn’t ideal or was just downright traumatizing, how long do you get to pull that card as your excuse as to why you aren’t where you are supposed to be today?  Yes those events in your life do matter and they do share a portion of the blame.  However there comes a time when those events have to become your motivation and not your destruction. 

I am not saying this as someone who does not need to realize this herself.  I have blamed my mother for quite some time now as to my life not turning out quite the way that I wanted it to (at least not yet anyway).  I have attributed my lack of belief in myself to the fact that I didn’t have a mother who believed in me, or loved me for that matter, and I have essentially let it become my crutch.  What I have not done until now is realized that if she doesn’t believe in me and doesn’t see my potential then that is her misfortune.  What I should’ve done all of this time is come to grips with the fact that her lack of faith in my abilities is because of something that she lacks within herself and that it’s not something wrong with me. 

So now that I have realized that, I am going to use her negativity and relentless attempts to belittle me, fuel the drive that I have to become exactly what she thinks I can’t.  I am not going to let her disbelief in me continue to influence the belief that I have in myself.  The power of influence is strong.  It is sometimes relentless.  It is determined.  What you have to figure out is which influences you are going to adhere to.  How are you going to let those moments in your life shape who you become?  How are you going to keep your past from remaining your present, and more importantly, from becoming your future?  Are you ready to cast out the negative influences in your life and reach out to hold onto the positive ones?  How much power do your influences hold over you?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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Published in: on February 7, 2011 at 12:01 PM  Leave a Comment  
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