What We Don’t Get

progress not perfection

Why is it that we tend to always focus on what we didn’t do?  Think about it.  When we make a to-do list for the day or the week, once the day or week is over, all we focus on are the tasks that didn’t get checked off.  I’m guilty of this myself.  I sit and stress and beat myself up over the two or three things on a list of ten that didn’t get done instead of celebrating, or at the very least, acknowledging what I actually got done.

I suppose when you step back and look at a list of ten things and see that you got at least seven of them done you are supposed to give yourself a pat on the back but all I ever see is that I didn’t get EVERYTHING done.  We hold ourselves to such high expectations for our own accomplishments sometimes that we forget to take some pride in the things that did get done, for the good job that we have done thus far.

God didn’t build the universe in one day so why is it that we think that we can get everything done all at once.  All of the things worth having, the dreams that we are creating, the legacy that we are building, they can’t all be completed at a moment’s notice.  They take time.  Don’t rush what will eventually get done in the time that it’s supposed to be accomplished.

If we want the best we have to have patience because rushed work doesn’t always turn out to be the best work.  Take your time and give yourself credit for what has already been completed.  Don’t let what you don’t have diminish what you already do have!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv

Advertisements
Published in: on January 24, 2014 at 1:46 PM  Comments (3)  
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Stepping Out of the Shadow of Yesterday’s Mistakes and Into Today’s Opportunities

step away from mistakes

“Don’t dwell on the negative. Program your mind with what God says about you and a transformation will take place.”

~Joel Osteen 

We all have past regrets and past pain that we have to live with.  We may have even been dealt a bad hand in life that was beyond our control that still haunts us throughout our journey.  We tend to go over it in our heads about what we did, what we should have done, what we could have done differently, or what was done to us that we allowed to happen, and we get stuck in that repetitive cycle.  Without realizing it, we carry that pain with us and we sometimes stay stuck in our mistakes and we end up hindering our own progress by living our lives with the thoughts of that pain and those mistakes in our minds.

We don’t mean to, but we allow our past to dictate our future in such a way that we actually hold ourselves back.  We don’t want to be hurt again so we just don’t allow anyone in and we don’t trust.  We don’t want to keep making that same mistake so we become overly cautious to the point of not really living.  We don’t want to get rejected as we have been in the past so we just stop trying altogether.  We wear those mistakes like a badge of bravery as something to take with us on our journey, something to toughen us up, and we don’t even realize that what we are really doing is settling into our regrets and reliving that past pain constantly.  All this does is hold us back in our past instead of moving us forward into our future.

I know that for far too long I let my childhood and the emotional and physical abuse that I endured from my mother hold me back from moving forward.  At times I even used it as an excuse for some of the big mistakes that I have made in my life.  I have, at different times in my life, used what my mother put me through in my childhood as a reason that I didn’t try to achieve certain goals, all because she said I never would.  I have allowed that past pain and my past mistakes to make me so cautious as to not be hurt again or to not make any more monumental mistakes that I end up missing many opportunities.  It is true that I couldn’t really control what happened to me as a child but all of the choices made as an adult were mine and mine alone.  I got stuck in my past and for so long it kept me from progressing towards my future.

Everyone has something that they regret and that they would go back and change if they could or a past pain that they would erase if given the chance.  In order to succeed in accomplishing our goals and our dreams we can’t keep allowing ourselves to be stuck in the mistakes of our past or the pain that we’ve been put through.  We have to use those things for the lessons that they are and transform those teachable moments into opportunities to grab ahold of the destiny that God has promised to us.  We can’t control the things that have already been done to us but we do have the power over our own choices as to how we move forward into our future.  Don’t settle into your past, there’s nothing left there anymore to go back to!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

 

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

A Fortune to Be Told

I know that most people don’t give a lot of credence to fortune cookies or the supposed advice that they provide inside of them.  However, I am one of those people that do often times (not all the time) take what my fortune cookies have to say.  Of course they have to make some kind of sense or else I just toss them to the side.

My fortune cookies seem to always have meaningful messages that somehow just magically apply to whatever situation I am going through or whatever motivation that I happen to need.  At moments when I questioned whether I was making the right decisions I would get fortune cookies that read “Depart not from the path which fate has you assigned”, or “All your hard work will soon pay off”, or my personal favorite “God will give you everything that you want”.  Now I know that they may sound like some really good lines that the fortune cookie writer just happened to come up with but you have to understand the timing in which I received them.

Fortune Cookie Inspiration

Fortune Cookie Inspiration

So I stumbled upon one today (yes I keep all of the good ones stored away) that reminded me of how much our past experiences help to mold our future.  It read “the best profit of future is the past” and that is true for anyone but I think writers in particular get great use out of their past experiences.  We take the stories from our past and use them to shape the stories of our future.  One experience that impacted you greatly when you are younger, for a writer, can turn into hundreds of stories when you are older.

Thinking about this, in some ways, makes my somewhat cherish my bad childhood, or even the mistakes that I made as an adolescent or young adult.  I used to wish that I could take some of my mistakes from my past and get a do-over but then I would be changing my story, and the stories that I have to tell in the present and in the future.  I would be erasing all of the material that I have for some pretty good novels or even non-fiction cautionary tales in the (near) future.  You can’t go back to the past but you can turn your past into a very beneficial future.  You can let your past fuel the passions of your future.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

 

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

People Shouldn’t Be So Quick to Throw Stones

So the topic of conversation in the news these days seems to be the whole Lance Armstrong mess.  Now I wrote a post previously regarding my thoughts about this topic but that was before there was any actual proof, and an Oprah interview around the corner sealed with a confession.  Well while almost every news anchor and talk show host seems to share the position that this is a disgrace and that his actions were simply the most horrible thing that an athlete has ever done, I still feel the same way that I did when I wrote about it before, empathetic.

One news anchor even went so far as to call Lance Armstrong a disgrace to all humankind.  I have to admit that comment shocked me because are we really going to put Lance Armstrong in the same category as mass murderers and rapist (because those people are one’s I consider to be a disgrace to humankind).  To tell the truth it made me a little angry.

What right does anyone have to judge someone else on mistakes that they have made?  Are any of us that perfect that we can really throw stones from our glass houses?  I mean obviously everyone doesn’t go around using steroids to perform better in a sport but there are so many mistakes that people make on a regular and daily basis that other people could judge just as harshly.  There are murderers who have been treated in a kinder fashion then the media is treating this man.  He may have been a world class athlete and a wonderful philanthropist (which everyone in the media seems to have forgotten about) but he is still a human being that makes mistakes just like any one of us.

We hold people, particularly those who are in the media spotlight, to such high standards that are impossible for anyone to measure up to.  Why do we keep expecting people to be perfect when we can never be?  It’s a shame that we are always so busy searching for the bad in people that we overlook all of the good in them.  There are so many people who hold themselves back from so many opportunities because they’re too afraid that they can’t live up to being perfect.  When are we going to just accept people for who they are, mistakes and all, and love them instead of choosing to judge them?

I have the Write 2 Be Authentic and Imperfect… What is your Write 2 Be?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

 

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

The Writer That Doesn’t Put Themselves Out There Doesn’t Get Seen

It is very hard to put yourself out there in any capacity, be it love or your career.  It stirs up feelings of fear of being rejected, not being good enough, not being accepted, not succeeding at your end goal, and even of how you will handle it if you do succeed.  Being a writer, you find yourself having to put yourself out there quite often, at least until you have put in enough hard work and effort to where the people you want to write for are finally coming to you.

It takes time to get to that point, where you are no longer the cat in the cat and mouse game of becoming successful at earning your income as a writer, and have finally become the mouse being sought after.  I used to wonder when I started trying to make a go at this, just how long do I have to keep putting myself all out there only to continually be rejected time and time again before someone comes looking for me.

I realize now, and frankly way too late, that in order to become and remain a successful writer, you can’t ever stop putting yourself out there.  Even more embarrassing and much to my deep regret, I have realized that I have wasted so much time feeling all of those fears and playing into them, that I haven’t actually been putting myself out there (not nearly as much as I should have been anyway) and I only have myself to blame for not being a household name by now.

The blame doesn’t fall on the editor’s and the people who haven’t accepted my wonderful words and given me that chance that I am dying to have in order to get into all of those national magazines that I want to be featured in.  I only have myself to blame for not completely putting myself out there.  They can’t accept what I am too afraid to submit.

A writer’s only way of becoming published, of becoming that success that we all dream about becoming, is to keep putting themselves out there.  No matter what the outcome, whether it is good or bad, they have to keep going for it, even when it seems impossible; especially when it seems to be impossible.  A fighter never wins the battle if they never fight to begin with.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Being Broken Down To Be Blessed On the Way Back Up

“God never intended for you to go through something and get nothing out of it.”

~Bishop T.D. Jakes 

Sometimes I have days where I feel encouraged and empowered.  My writing flows, my productivity is better then average and I feel like I am going to get to my destination.  Then there are other days when my writing is not going as smoothly, there is no productivity and my destination seems further and further away.  Those are the days that I just feel broken down.  I try to think of the wise people who tell me that it’s not going to always be that way but the message never came across to me as clear as it did the other night when I was watching Oprah’s Next Chapter where she did a sit down interview with Bishop T.D. Jakes.  

Now anyone who knows me well enough (either personally or through this blog) knows that I am spiritual but I am not necessarily terribly religious.  Meaning I don’t necessarily believe that I have to go to a building (i.e. church) to get the word that God is trying to communicate to me.  But every once and a while I will see and hear a Pastor, Preacher, or in this case Bishop say something on television that will make me wish that their church was within my reach so that I could go get that message in person.  

On Oprah’s Next Chapter when Bishop T.D. Jakes told his congregation that “The blessing is in the breaking; that, which refuses to be broken refuses to be blessed; It is the breaking of life that produces the blessing of life.” I felt as if that message was meant for me.  Now I know I wasn’t even there, and this was after all a repeat on TV so it wasn’t even live, but yet I felt like I was directed to watch it for a specific reason; because it’s what I needed to hear.  

I always see my breaking points as my own little personal failures but I suppose the truth is that they are the foundations for my future successes.  They are the models of what I need to look at so that I know not to repeat the same process that got me to that point in the first place.  They are lessons for me to learn from, not mistakes for me to forever regret.  

Bishop T.D. Jakes also said “The most blessed people I have ever met in my life have gone through something that broke them.”  In essence, adversity breeds success and a multitude of blessings.  If you look at the most successful people, they didn’t get to that place without having to be broken down at some point in their lives.  Why should I be any different?  Why should I expect to get to the level of success I know I am destined for without having to go through the trials and tribulations to get there?  

The words I heard him speaking were so powerful and so profound and while I realize this is not the first time I have heard that message, this is the first time I have believed the words as I said them to myself.  Building up any business that you want to have takes a certain amount of tenacity and drive.  However, when it comes to building up a business that is centered around your love of writing and your sense of purpose, it takes guts, and courage, but most importantly belief in yourself and in the very words that you speak.  The words you say are very important and you never know who your particular message might touch, giving them the strength to not stay broken so that they won’t miss their blessings.    

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

With Age Comes Wisdom

I am not sure whether or not I have gotten smarter over the years but I do believe that as each year has passed by I have gotten wiser.  At the gym that I have been a member of for almost three years now there are mostly older women and men that attend, mostly in the age range of about fifty and sixty.  I listen to the stories they tell about the places they’ve been in life and the things they’ve seen.  I hear them recount the trials and tribulations that they have endured and I take in the stories and experiences that they share.  I listen and I would like to think that I am wiser for the information that I have taken in.  

I have heard many quotes and sayings about wisdom but the one that I gravitate to the most is that wisdom comes from a willingness to be a student of life.  It comes from a willingness to be a life long learner.  Wise people learn that success does not come from a certain set of circumstances, but rather, from a certain set of attitudes.  Listening to the older people I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by has allowed me to change certain things about myself.  I’ve learned a lot from them but mostly I learned that success does stem from your attitude and not necessarily your circumstances.  

The older people I talk to daily have had some terrible circumstances and many tragic things that they have endured but they didn’t let their circumstances dictate how they journeyed on.  Their attitudes were that of survival and moving past those circumstances and learning from them.  So many times people (myself included) let their circumstances control the outcome of their lives instead of having the attitude of resilience.  I think that I have made progress on adjusting my attitude and my reaction to certain circumstances and it is because I have gained more wisdom in the last few years from the older generation of people that I have come into contact with than I could ever possibly get only going to an institution for learning.  

I think that I have become that student of life and have grown more than a willingness to be a life long learner.  I learn, not just from school and the books that I read or the information I research, but I learn from living and from those who have lived life a long time before me.  It is good to be intelligent but being wise is something totally different.  If you just keep repeating the same mistakes and behaviors then you aren’t very wise because you haven’t learned from what you have already lived through.  It is my hope that we all not only strive to become smarter but also wiser because with time being so precious, we have to be wise enough to not make the same mistake twice.  Until tomorrow…Remember that fools learn nothing from wise men but wise men learn much from fools! 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

No Excuses Allowed (Anymore)

“Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.” 

~Don Wilder 

I was in the gym this morning and one of the guys in there (who hadn’t been there for about two weeks) strolled in to a barrage of questions from everyone else in the weight room.  In our gym we look after one another and we definitely hold everyone accountable to what they say they want to accomplish by coming there.  So this particular person constantly comes in the gym speaking about how he plans on being more consistent and then he will disappear for about a week.  When he comes back in he talks about all of the things that threw him off of his plan to be consistent and the mistakes that he made in his diet that made him feel too guilty to come back to the gym on a regular basis.  We tell him the same thing time after time.  That it doesn’t matter the mistakes he made in his own plan, or that he got off track.  What matters is that he corrects the mistakes and gets it together.  In one ear and out the other our words go every time.  

Today, for every excuse he gave me, I simply said to him “this is the year for no excuses”.  He responded by saying “but I fell off, I messed up”.  I told him that it doesn’t matter that you ‘fell off’ or that you made mistakes in your own plan, what will make those mistakes matter is if you give those mistakes power by never correcting them.  He asked me “well haven’t you ever made mistakes in your diet and messed up and then felt guilty about it?” and I said ‘sure I mess up in my diet because I’m an emotional eater, and I’ve missed more than one or two days at the gym but I don’t feel guilty about it because I know that I am going to correct it and eventually I do’.  

Now this conversation may just be in reference to going to the gym and maintaining a healthy regimen but the message applies to everyday life as well.  We all make mistakes that we feel guilty about and we sometimes think that we can’t come back from whatever mistake it is but the reality is that we can and using those mistakes then becomes more of an excuse.  Not one person walking this earth is perfect or goes without making one single mistake.  Sometimes what makes the mistakes worse than what they really are is the fact that we keep repeating them and never do what needs to be done to correct them.  

I think that sometimes we should celebrate the fact that we are imperfect beings because it will be those imperfections that strengthen our character and our determination to do the things that we were put here to do.  Those imperfections allow us to realize that while we may fall down, we most certainly have the strength to get back up.  So for the year of 2012, let’s try to take the attitude that we won’t make any excuses, nor will we accept any.  If we make a mistake, don’t let that very mistake be a reason that we don’t correct our actions.  So you fell down, so what.  Sit up, get your bearings together, dust yourself off, and get back up again.  It will only stay a mistake if you don’t do anything to correct it.  Until tomorrow…Rejoice in your imperfections, they are apart of what makes you who you are!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

What Could Have Been

“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” 

~Jan Glidewell 

The other night I was talking to Ms. L and I was feeling a little down because I had a lot of things on my mind.  I was thinking of all the curveballs that I have been thrown in life.  I was doing a lot of wondering about what could have been.  

What if I had done what I was supposed to do all the way through high school and had been able to get a full scholarship to the college of my choice inNew York?  What if when I did go to college, not necessarily the one that I wanted to go to, and I had been better prepared for college life and had gotten the grades that I should’ve gotten or at least sought help when I was failing?  What if I hadn’t gotten in a really bad relationship and gotten so steered off course from what my vision of my life was?  What if I hadn’t met a man who I thought was the love of my life and had a child with him which derailed me going back to school until the late age of 27?  

The truth is my life would more than likely be at a very different place, maybe even where I envisioned it being.  Had I done all the things that I should’ve done in the correct time frame that it should have been done in I may very well already be into my writing career and perhaps even a lot closer to the top of that media mogul ladder that I am now struggling to climb.  But in talking to Ms. L. the other night she helped me to see that everything does in fact happen for a reason and that just because the course of my journey has had to change, the vision has always remained the same and that’s what matters the most.  

If I had never been directed to Morgan State University (which was not the school I had always wanted to attend) then I would’ve never met Ms. L. and I can not imagine going through this life without a friend as good as her and as supportive and motivating as her.  If I hadn’t met the man who I thought was the love of my life, then I would not have my amazing daughter and I can not even begin to say how thankful I am for her and I wouldn’t trade her for all the money and success in the world.  

So many of the things that I have been through are responsible for shaping the person I am today.  But in all of that my vision of what I wanted in terms of my career goals and what I feel God put me on this earth to do have never changed.  I have never questioned what I am meant to do.  Now I may not have answered all of the previous doors that opportunity was knocking at, and looking back perhaps those doors were not meant for me to answer, but I certainly believe that there are still more opportunities out there that I may just have to build my own door to.  

What could have been in anyone’s life is not always how things should’ve been and I firmly believe that God knows your path before you even develop a path in your own mind.  So who am I to question what could have been when God already has a plan for what will be and the least that I can do, after all he has seen me through and all the talents and abilities that he has blessed me with, is follow the path that he has mapped out for me, not the one that I had mapped out for myself.  Until next time…Don’t get sidetracked by the curveballs, just change your plan of how to attack them the next time you’re up to bat!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

I Regret Not Being Fearless

“Being fearless isn’t being 100% unafraid; it’s being terrified, but you jump in anyway!”

~Taylor Swift 

I was watching an interview the other night on Lady GaGa and her rise to fame and her upbringing.  I was excited to watch this interview because while I am a fan of her music, I am an even greater fan of her business savvy and her work ethic.  She has certainly made a name for herself and her story didn’t start off that much different from other people that have a particular dream growing up.  Of course her upbringing was different in terms of the fact that she probably had a lot more things in the pros column than the cons but the struggle to achieve her dream was still there.  

What I love and can appreciate most about her is her bravery and her fearlessness.  She has never been and still isn’t afraid to do anything when it comes to accomplishing her dreams and she seems to jump head first into everything without ever really looking back.  Watching the interview I found myself wishing that I had that same fearlessness and bravery, both as a child growing up and especially now.  

So many times I had opportunities when I was younger to maybe go to some poetry event or open mic night and read some of my poetry or even sing (because I could actually sing a lot better when I was younger) but I was too afraid.  Afraid to be on stage in front a crowd full of people, afraid that they wouldn’t like my poetry or like my voice, afraid that I somehow would not be good enough and that maybe the talent that I thought I had was all made up in my head and that no one else would share the same thought.  I wasted so much time on all of the cons and I missed out on all of the pros, all because I wasn’t fearless enough.  

I guess it’s too late to wonder what could’ve and might’ve been if I had just been brave enough to jump head first into any number of the things that I wanted to do.  The only thing left to do now is strive to be brave and fearless from this point on.  After watching the interview I was wondering aloud to my best friend, was it just simply too late for me to do the things that I really wanted.  I mean I’m 31 now and I’m not getting any younger and my dreams aren’t becoming any more attainable as time goes by.  She told me (being the voice of reason that she always seems to be) that it’s never too late as long as I still have the ability and the passion to do those things that I want to do.  

That voice of fear was in my ear yet again but this time I don’t plan on feeding into it.  I’ve wasted too much time already and now it’s time for me to be brave, and yes even fearless.  So how brave and fearless are you willing to be for your dreams?  Until next time…Be brave, don’t give yourself anything else to regret!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

%d bloggers like this: