This month has done exactly what I wanted it to do by focusing more on the actual craft of writing. It has reignited some creativity that I truly was starting to believe I was losing little by little. I had all of these ideas in my head but they just weren’t coming out on paper and they weren’t really coming into focus. These ideas were in bits and pieces trying to formulate themselves and it just wasn’t happening. But somehow when I took this time to focus on the writing itself and not solely on the marketing and the business side of things it seems to have helped those pieces come together.
I have been putting more and more of my ideas down on paper and they are starting to seem like more of a real possibility. I have even started to have a breakthrough on some ideas for my next novel that I have been stuck on up until now. I feel myself coming out of the funk that I was in slowly and even though some of the obstacles that I have right now have not gone away or even clear up, I feel more hopeful about things these days.
I know that with these obstacles, or financial standstills rather, that worrying doesn’t make them go away and it doesn’t display my true faith in God and that he will never allow me to go through anything that I can’t get through. I trust that there is a reason for everything that we go through in this life and that nothing is without purpose. Perhaps I needed this standstill in my creativity to wake me up to the realization that I can’t wait for all of the stars to align perfectly and that I can’t waste any more time.
I’ve been working on not waiting until everything is perfect to begin. I know there are a lot of things that I do imperfectly so a huge part of my problem is that before I submit work anywhere or display an idea I want things to be perfect but when does perfection ever truly happen. I keep putting off doing things because I have convinced myself that unless they’re perfect they just won’t be good enough but that’s just my self-doubt creeping in to my subconscious.
These last couple of weeks of me just concentrating on my creativity within my writing and not stressing so much on the business end have made me remember where the passion I had for writing came from to begin with. Of course I have in no way forgotten that this is my business as well and that I do have to put effort into that but I definitely do not want to forget what made me fall in love with the power of words in the first place. I have to make sure I stay in love with the power of words.
Jimmetta Carpenter
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