Tag: Creativity

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To Pretend or Not to Pretend…That is the Question?

October 24, 2022October 24, 2022 jcladyluv

I did a lot of pretending when I was younger. In elementary school I had to pretend the home I went back to everyday wasn’t broken and abusive. In high school I had to pretend I was not crumbling on the inside and like I wasn’t constantly thinking of ways to just end it all. In college and early adulthood, like most young adults, I had to pretend that I knew what the hell I was doing. With people I came in contact with back then I would pretend that I was outgoing and like I thrived on being around lots of people when in reality people drained me and any creative energy I had, and I really just wanted to be left alone. Not alone in some lonely, woe is me type of way either, but rather in a way that actually refilled my creative well.

I mean that’s what life is mostly isn’t it. Pretending! Going along to get along. Trying to fit in with people you probably don’t actually like just so that they don’t classify you as difficult, weird and awkward or just think that something is wrong with you altogether. You pretend to understand things you really don’t because you don’t want to appear like you aren’t knowledgeable and capable. It gets to be a little tiring to pretend all the time. To always have to be “on” and faking that you feel something you don’t or faking that you’re happy if you’re not.

When you get to a certain point in life you just want to be surrounded by people and live a life where you can just simply be. Where you can express how you feel about something or someone without having to hide your emotions and feelings. Where you don’t have to apologize for being a person who wears their heart on their sleeve and whose emotions show up all over your face. You want to not have to explain yourself to people who you thought you didn’t have to explain anything to because it was thought to believe that you were accepted just the way you were.

The simple truth is, at least the truth that I’m coming to realize, is true acceptance doesn’t really exist. No matter what situation you find yourself in, no matter what circle of people you surround yourself with, there is always going to have to be some manner of pretending. Sometimes it hurts to realize that but it’s best to live in reality than to have blinders on and think something is true that isn’t. Even those that are closest to you, that are your closest friends, aren’t going to always accept everything there is about you. We are all deeply flawed, and sometimes vastly broken individuals and that means we have things about us that others just can’t come to terms with and that they would rather adjust or change about you than just simply accept without question.

Let’s be honest, you probably have some things that you would change about the people in your life as well. I suppose the real question is who in your life are you willing to make adjustments for and who are you willing to pretend around? Can you really ever go through life without having to pretend something? Is there ever going to come a time in life where you can remove the mask and just be yourself without having to rationalize who you are to those you love and call friends and found family? I thought it was possible but now I’m not so sure. I guess the jury is still out on that one and only time will truly tell.

Until next time… #BeBold #BeFearless #BeYou

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://www.youtube.com/c/AuthorJCCarpenter

Troubles Don’t Last Always

August 15, 2022 jcladyluv

I try not to get too overly hopeful anymore about how a year is going to go for me. I swear every time I move a couple of steps forward in my goals, life comes along and says ‘nope, not so fast, need to knock you back a few steps more, you’re not quite ready yet’ and then I get discouraged. Not discouraged enough to ever give up on my dreams and goals because come on, if I haven’t given up on them at this point why would I suddenly give up now. It just gets extremely frustrating when I feel like I just might be getting somewhere, that for once I might be getting to a place where I can just not have to worry so much. That place where I can be comfortable (not in the complacent kind of way) and just not have to stress over every single little thing for fear that the walls around me will come tumbling down. It just sometimes feels like I can get close enough to touch the dream but never quite close enough to actually have it.

Keep in mind when I say the dream, I don’t mean being rich and famous or overly wealthy (not that I would deny myself that opportunity if it should so happen), just to make a living from my creative abilities and not have to worry if I’m going to have a roof over my head from one month to another. I mean to be able to have my daughter tell me she needs something and to not have to weigh helping her with what she wants or needs against providing food and shelter for the both of us, or even just myself. I just want to be able to survive and thrive a little with my art and then if there was a bonus that I would add to that, I would say to be able to reach out and help other people who are also struggling without hesitation.

I know that being a creative is not an easy thing and I’ve never thought that it was supposed to be, but I just never anticipated constantly getting knocked back every time I manage to get somewhere, and I mean every single time. Having said all of that, and being the spiritual person that I am, I am reminded from several church sermons and biblical scriptures that troubles do not lasts always. That whatever struggles I have gone through, or that I will inevitably go through, that God will always bring me through anything, and it may not be in the way that I think, but it will always be in the way He feels is best for me to be able to grow.

I am so highly resistant to change that I sometimes think that the knocks that life keeps giving me is its way of telling me that I need to stop being so afraid of change and to stop shying away from risks and opportunities that could make me grow. Could that be the lesson here? That troubles don’t last always but they do always persist until you learn the lesson that you were meant to get from the journey. Perhaps that is the piece of the puzzle that I am missing. Being brave enough to go for anything without thinking of what could go wrong.

Whatever your struggles are in your journey to get to the dreams and goals you are trying to reach don’t let the times that life will knock you down discourage you. You have to get back up and keep pushing through. There is light on that other side, even if it only looks like you can see tiny cracks of it right now. Let those tiny cracks of light be enough for the moment. Imagine how much more there is to see if you just stay vigilant and keep moving forward. I won’t lie and say that you won’t get discouraged ever again. That’s a part of life, a part of the journey. But just keep in mind that troubles don’t last always and that you can only get what you’re striving for if you keep going.

Until next time… #BeVigilant #BePersistent #BeFearless

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Are We Going To Just Stare At the Wall or Find A Way To Climb Over It?

June 20, 2022June 21, 2022 jcladyluv

I’ve been staring at a wall lately and that wall has time written all over it. Time is not my friend. There is never enough of it and yet it feels like the time I do have can’t be adequately balanced in a satisfactory manner. I’ve been struggling lately with this balancing time thing with taking on something non-creative in order to pay the bills and having the creative side of me, that being writing which is like air to me, suffer drastically.

I mean I won’t say that I’m not able to write ever, but it’s a far cry from the amount of time I was once able to put into my writing and as I said, writing is like air to me so right now I quite literally feel like I am not able to breathe. I feel like I’m suffocating and all I can think about is writing but it’s the one thing I’m unable to do as freely as I need to. But I think that I’m looking at this the wrong way.

I’m staring at the wall and instead of figuring out a way over or around that wall I am just stuck, looking up at this massive road block, and wondering what the hell am I going to do. I’m not going to pretend I have the answer for this problem at this exact moment but I do know that giving up is not an option. We spend so much time staring at the wall rather than climbing over that wall and that is tantamount to giving up. I say we because I can’t be the only one who gets stuck at the road blocks that you come across.

Your wall may not be writing. It could be whatever you’re most passionate about and have been struggling to weave it into your schedule. If you are struggling too then I want you to know that you’re not alone and that we are going to climb this wall together because quitting is never an option when your dreams are waiting for you beyond that wall. We may need some time to assess the wall, to make a plan of action on how we are going to get over or around that wall, but one way or another, we will overcome the wall that is blocking our way.

Until next time… #BePatient #BePersistent #BeDetermined

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

We Can’t Always Be In Bloom

May 23, 2022 jcladyluv

It is impossible to be continually productive, every single minute, of every single day, in every single year. With that knowledge, I’m wondering why I keep beating myself up when a few minutes go by without me being productive on something. I haven’t been doing so great with my writing these last few weeks, mostly because my schedule changed due to taking on things to better provide financially for me and my daughter who has just entered college. The problem with doing things you have to do to survive is that the things that feed your soul (in my case, writing) fall by the wayside and that is literally killing me.

I’ve said it here many times before, but writing is like breathing for me. If I can’t write, then I am not a very happy person and probably not pleasant to be around. Writing makes me happy; it helps me think, it allows me to expel emotions that I would otherwise hold onto, and it just centers me. I have not found the balance yet and it is making me depressed and anxious and extremely overwhelmed and unhappy.

I shared some more about these struggles in a video I posted on my YouTube channel last week for Mental Health Awareness Month and I go more in detail about what I’ve been struggling with and just how much it’s been affecting me. It did make me realize (along with a really good friend of mine) that I am not a machine, and I cannot always be in the doing phase. Sometimes I just have to be in the phase of simply being and I have to be okay with that. It’s hard for me because so much of my identity is tied into my writing. I mean I’ve been writing since I was little (like 8 or 9) to get all of the emotions I could never verbalize out so to not be able to find the balance to do what I love is hurting.

I am going to try and work out a schedule to see if I can figure out a way to balance it all out without losing sleep (which was my initial plan) and have even crafted a schedule that I am crossing my fingers and praying it works but even in saying that I know that to protect my mental health I am going to have to be okay even if I don’t figure it out. It’s okay if everything I want doesn’t happen all at once.

Until next time… #BeMindful #BeReflective #BePatient

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Do We Always Have to Be “On” to Prove We Showed Up?

May 9, 2022 jcladyluv

Last week was a rough week and I tried extremely hard not to show it. Now it was supposed to be a really exciting week in terms of my YouTube channel because I was doing a collaboration with one of the biggest AuthorTubers on there and it’s someone who has motivated me and inspired me through her own channel so that part was very exciting. And believe it or not it went well. But I had to mask a lot of pain that I was in to make it seem as though everything behind the scenes (for me anyway) was okay.

I woke up last Tuesday morning in excruciating stomach pain that is looking like it may be a hernia but that explanation for the pain wasn’t considered until near the end of the week and after the exciting collaboration happened. But I did what most of us creative entrepreneurs who are also moms have to do. I smiled my way through the pain and pretended everything was okay. The only way you would have known anything was wrong (at least until my first week of May vlog comes out later today) was if you happened to be close enough to me for me to confide in.

We often have to be “on” sometimes even when we don’t want to be. Even when we may be in pain or, for some, grieving, or depressed, or when you just plain old don’t feel like putting on a mask. If we want to succeed, if we want to get to a point where we can truly thrive, where we can enjoy what we’ve built and have the luxury of being able to say no if we want to, there are oftentimes pieces of ourselves that we have to sacrifice.

There are far too many instances where we find ourselves amplifying the performance we have to put on just so no one sees us struggling and my question is why. Why is it wrong, or weak to show when we are struggling. Why is it that we feel like we would burden someone else by telling them that we may not be okay, or that we need some help. It’s a question I think that we should all ask ourselves because I sure hope that I’m not someone that other people feel that have to put on a show for.

I just want to be a light, and some sort of inspiration and motivation for as many people as I can. I suppose that’s why I sometimes feel like I have to contain my struggles. I hate the thought of pulling anyone down or not being able to inspire someone. But sometimes I need a break from being “on” too and that’s okay. Striving as a creative entrepreneur should never mean having to put on a mask to hide our pain. I like to think of it in terms of a phrase that I used to hear in the church I grew up in. They used to always say that all were welcome to come as they are. When we come into any space, creative or other, no matter what we are struggling with, we should always feel as if we can be free to come as we are.

Until next time… #BeVulnerable #BeThoughtful #BePatient

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Give Up What is Weighing You Down

April 4, 2022 jcladyluv

It is not easy being a creative entrepreneur. Yes, I know being an entrepreneur period is hard work but when you are a creative individual you are not only expelling all of your emotional and mental energy into what you are passionate about. You are also having to tap into a business mindset that, if you’re anything like me, just isn’t something that is second nature to you. I think for creative individuals what stands in our way more than anything is our own self-doubt and lack of confidence in our ability to conquer the things that don’t come natural for us (like business know how and anything related to math in general lol). We get so hung up on what we think we can’t do that we lose sight and focus of what we can do.

So much of what holds us back from living up to our full potential can typically be relegated to an extension of one thing, fear. Whether it’s a fear of failure, a fear of success, a fear of change, fears of financial ambiguity, fears of disappointing either the people in our lives or ourselves, or just a fear of what is unknown. We come up on these boulders (obstacles) sitting there in the road, standing in the way of us getting to our destination. It seems immovable at first because we’re just seeing this obstacle that is taking up the entire space of the road and that instant feeling of defeat sets in. We spend so much time focusing on the boulder (obstacle) itself that we don’t even realize that if we just give it everything we have inside of us to move it, if we just physically push it off to the side of the road, then we can continue on the journey to reaching our goal.

Fear is that boulder in the space of our minds. It can take up so much space in our head, forcing us to lose focus on whatever particular thing we are fearful of in that moment. It can overwhelm us so much that we don’t even realize that if we just tackle that fear head on, just give it everything we have and push past it, then we can move that fear aside (at least for that moment anyway) and continue pushing through to accomplish our dreams.

Fear is a heavy burden to carry. It weighs on us like that immovable boulder. It starts to seep into our everyday lives until we are afraid to do just about anything that will move us forward. Fear likes it when we are comfortable because when we get comfortable then we never truly grow and we stay stuck right where the fear wants us to stay. Still. So if we want to succeed at all of those dreams we’re so passionate about, then we have to give up all of those fears that keep us weighed down and tethered to that box we get so comfortable staying in. In order to fly, to really soar beyond our wildest dreams and imaginations, we have to be willing to let go of all of that dead weight.

Until next time… #BeBold #BeCourageous #BeFearless

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

It’s Just a Bend in the Road

August 23, 2021 jcladyluv

Being an entrepreneur has its ups and downs and in the beginning it tends to come with a lot more downs than ups. Unless you are extremely lucky or just know all of the right people, you will more than likely be working at trying to get your name out there and get to that place of true financial comfort in your entrepreneurial status for quite some time.

I think when I decided that I wanted to own my own business and pursue creative entrepreneurship I was naïve in thinking that just a year or two would be the magic number. The truth is, there is no magic number. I mean I’ve been at this for more years than I care to admit and honestly I’m still not there yet. I will say that I’ve come a very long way and in the past year and a half I’ve come even further than I imagined and that was because I did something that wasn’t comfortable for me.

I started a YouTube channel (link is below) and when I did I had no idea just how much it would change things, and I don’t really mean in terms of money (because I’m not yet making anything with that channel- yet), but in terms of pushing me past my comfort zone. It’s enabling me to reach people I might not ordinarily be able to reach, gaining a writing support system that I didn’t realize I needed, and making me more comfortable speaking on camera which will go far for certain future endeavors I have planned down the road. The lessons I have learned and the community that I have gained in having this channel is priceless.

Striking out on your own is hard. It’s oftentimes a thankless effort to have a creative business because quite frankly, a lot of people don’t treat creative businesses the same as they do other non creative businesses. You will have days where your hope starts to fade and your resolve to hang in there weakens. You’re wondering what it’s all for if it hasn’t happened yet. Don’t give up.

Your journey will not be obstacle free and this is definitely not for the faint of heart. Keep in mind that the road to your destination is full of curves and if you’re feeling stuck right now it’s not because it’s over, but rather you’ve hit a bend in the road. You can’t see to the other side right now but I promise you, if you keep going beautiful things are coming just around the bend.

Until next time… #BePatient #BeHopeful #BePersistent

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Be Proud Of You Even If No One Else Is

August 9, 2021 jcladyluv

It’s always both nerve wracking and exciting when you do something big or just something that you’ve been waiting for. I felt that way when I launched my online store (www.write2bematters.com) because I had been working on that idea, which started out just being in my brain formulating, for nearly two years and I was nervous about whether anyone would even like it. This week, however, I am re-releasing my novel, The Diary: Succession of Lies, and I’m extremely anxious because while I wear many hats and have many creative endeavors that I want to explore, writing has been my number one passion since I was six years old.

It was already not done right the first time it was published because frankly the small publisher didn’t do nearly all of what I thought they would do and I knew next to nothing about marketing or publicity and at the time social media was still new and I didn’t really want any parts of it. Needless to say it wasn’t shopped well and I didn’t know how to shop it to the point that it needed to be. Honestly I had no business signing that contract and I wasn’t strong enough then to even feel comfortable enough to voice what I expected and what I wanted and felt I wasn’t getting.

I’ve come a long way since then and because it was a well received novel to those that it did reach, and because I have learned a lot (not as much as I could but way more than I knew before) about putting myself out there and navigating some manner of marketing I decided that it deserved a real shot. I wanted this book to be a part of my catalog of work to come and I wanted it to be my first novel for a lot of reasons that I won’t get into at the moment.

I am praying this book does everything I want it to do but even if it doesn’t I believe I’m more proud of this round of publishing it because I feel so sure and confident about my readiness to do it. It doesn’t make me any less anxious though lol. So Friday my book baby will be out in the world, and I hope that people love it and that they will support me but even if they don’t, I’m proud of myself. As creative individuals remember that you always have to make sure that you are proud of what you do, even if no one else is.

Until next time… #BeConfident #BeEmpowered #BeProud

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note: I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

When the Journey to the Dream Gets Frustrating Just Keep Praying for Strength

July 12, 2021 jcladyluv

The way my determination is set up, I can’t quit! That sounds like such an obvious statement right? I know you’re probably saying of course you’re not going to quit! People don’t just quit on their dreams! Oh but you would be surprised how many people I see give up right before they get everything they wanted. Being an entrepreneur or a self-employed creative individual is extremely hard work and it is not for the faint of heart and there are so many, many days where you are going to want to quit, you just can’t.

I had one of those days last week where I really was just like “I put a lot of work into all of this and I have not begun to see the results I need to see by now and maybe it’s just all for nothing” and that thought process can really alter your level of effort sometimes if you let it. By the end of that day of feeling like that I ultimately decided that I was not going to be the real life version of that cartoon character drawing where you see the little man picking his way underground and he gives up just before breaking through the wall to the other side. Also in the same cartoon drawing there’s a mirror image of the man picking his way and that little man actually makes it through to the other side of the wall. And why is that? That would be because he didn’t give up. I was not going to be the one who got so close and gave up right before the moment I achieved what I wanted.

As all of you here know I have been at this for a long time and the scope of what I want to do overall with my writing and my brand is vast and I get frustrated sometimes when I see people doing something similar to what I’m trying to do and they make a huge mark for themselves in such a quick time but then I also know that I will look for some of those same names a few years later and nothing and what I’m going for is longevity and longevity takes time.

I have created products that I’ve been working on creating for the last couple of years now and finally they are out there in the world and I’m not seeing what I want to see yet but I know that it is going to take time. The only question is am I willing to wait and of course the answer to that is yes.

I have a book coming out in August (well it’s actually the re-release of my first novel) and I want it to do well but am I going to get the support I am hoping to get? I don’t know the answer to that. I do know that I have several more books to put out after that and that if I quit on the first one, the others will be most likely doomed before they even get out there.

I suppose the point of this post is to remind those of you out there with your big dreams and your ambitious drive to be your own boss and to make doing what you love your source of income and your job that it’s going to take time. Time in which you are you going to have to put an extreme amount of effort for what is going to feel like not nearly enough support for what it is you do and what you bring to the table.

Time in which you are going to be the only one who sees the bigger picture of what it is you’re trying to accomplish. Time in which the dream is not going to make sense to anyone else and you will have the people who say they love and support you telling you to give up, that it’s not worth it in the end. Don’t listen to them! Those are the people without dreams at all or the one’s who stopped short of breaking through and just gave up. I know you are going to get tired and frustrated and even angry, but just don’t quit! You’ll never get there if you do! You just have to keep praying for strength when the journey to the dream starts to get frustrating.

Until next time… #BeFearless #BePersistent #BeInFaith

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310