“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11
This may shock you but I am not an optimistic person by nature. It is my natural inclination to always be waiting for the other shoe to drop, for bad luck to strike, just for something to go wrong on a grand scale. I had a traumatic childhood with virtually no one who was supportive of anything I wanted to do except for the few friends that I had, the few people that didn’t bully me and make my life miserable at school too. So when I say I have come a long way in how I see things, on my shift in perspectives, I am not being melodramatic or overstating things. For a long time I had no reason to see anything good about my life, accept for my writing.
Writing saved me in so many ways. When I was six I knew that writing was what I wanted to do but I didn’t actually start writing (aside from the very short picture book that I wrote after my revelation that I was going to become a writer in which I gifted to my then best friend lol) until I was ten years old. I started writing poetry to cope with the abuse I suffered at home and all of the feelings of hopelessness that I felt but couldn’t tell anyone about. I wrote to escape and enter into a world that I wanted to be in and more often than not a world I wanted to stay in. I don’t see things as bleak as I once did and I have to say it is much better to see the brighter side of things than having that dreaded feeling that nothing will ever get better.
I’ve only recently, well within the last five years anyway, been able to shift my perspective and see that sometimes it’s not about my plans for my career and what I want my writing to do for others, but rather God’s plan. I like to keep the phrase in mind that when we plan, God laughs because it’s as if He’s up there saying “oh you think that’s how things are going to go but you don’t know what I’ve got planned for you.” This is why we have to trust the plan, and not our plans mind you, but His plans.
I just don’t know if, back when I was in a depression so deep that most days I didn’t know how I would climb out of it, or when I knew I had this dream and this passion for writing but I wasn’t really sure how to use it to help people, I don’t know that if God had given me the clear vision I have now, that I would’ve been able to do what He wanted me to do with it. Back then I didn’t see a brighter side to anything so I wouldn’t have known what to do with the purpose God was sowing into me.
God’s timing truly is perfect because I think without all of the abuse I experienced (physical, emotional, mental, and psychological) and all of the other experiences I had that went along with all of that, I wouldn’t be who I am, I wouldn’t have built up what was needed inside for me to go to the next levels that He is preparing for me ahead of time.
If we don’t show Him that we trust His vision for our lives and that we know that His plans are to better us and further enrich us, why would He then trust us with the ability to see His vision through? If you are in a phase of doubt when it comes to your dreams or whatever is going on in your life, sometimes you have to just let things be whatever they are going to be. Sometimes you just have to throw your hands up and literally let go and let God.
Until next time… #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeinFaith
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