Don’t Let Someone Else’s Disbelief In You Become Your Reality

There are so many people who have big dreams and visions for their lives and they never even try to accomplish them. They essentially give up before they even begin. What’s more surprising about that is that the reason they don’t try is not because they don’t have the passion to do so, but rather because someone else told them that they wouldn’t achieve it. I don’t have to imagine how someone can let someone else’s predictions for their lives become their reality because I was almost that person.

I had a mother who constantly told me that I would never accomplish anything that I dreamed of doing and who did her best to keep me down in terms of my goals and my vision and for a really long time I allowed her to keep me from trying at my full potential. Mind you, there was never a time that I wasn’t trying (because the calling to write was just too strong) but I know that I held back on the level of try that I had because I believed what she said about me.

There was a lot of things I had to go through and realizations that I had which made me come to terms with the toxic person that my mother is and made me understand that I just would never really have her support and that was okay because I knew what I was meant to do and what my dreams and goals are and only I am responsible for the level of tenacity I have. 

Now what I really want others to realize and see for themselves is that they can’t let other people’s ideas of what your life is supposed to look like affect what you want your life to look like. Their perception of your aspirations is not your problem nor should it ever become your reality. If you are still struggling to figure out what your purpose and vision is for your life I encourage you to sit down with yourself and God, with some paper and pen and really think about what it is you want and then put a plan of action into place to go after it.

If you already know what you want but you are grappling with others opinions, stop! Their opinions don’t matter. God and you are the only two opinions that matter and in all honesty, truly it’s only God’s opinion and purpose He has for your life because sometimes what He has planned for us isn’t even what we planned for ourselves.  Make your own path and don’t let the outside noise cloud your focus.

Until next time… #BeBold #BeFearless #BeEmpowered

 

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

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Side note:  I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

And if any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Laying the Groundwork

So I’m about to have another birthday on Thursday and I’ll be turning 41 and thinking about really crossing further into the forties has me thinking about whether or not I’m satisfied with the direction that my life is going. I mean of course I had plans when I was younger of what my forty year old self would be doing in life and where I would be in my career and on the ladder of success.

However, when I was younger I was naïve to the reality of adulthood and what having all of those things that I want would take in terms of effort and sheer willpower after getting repeatedly knocked down and having to pry myself off the ground to get back up and keep pushing forward. Honestly if you had asked me when I was younger if I thought I had the tenacity and strength to have to keep pushing through all of the obstacles that have been thrown at me I would have said no, I can’t do it, I’m just not that strong. I’m glad to say that I would have been wrong because you never truly know how strong you are until you have to be.

So what have I learned in these 41 years of living? I suppose I would say the biggest thing that I’ve learned about myself, and that I continue to learn as I move forward in my career goals, is that I have never lost my passion for what it is I know I am supposed to do with my life. Even though I’m not sure how I knew writing was my purpose back when I was just six years old (at six I wouldn’t have known anything about the use of the word purpose lol) I have never wavered from that dream.  Sure I thought I would be where I desired to be by now but again, that was the naiveté of a child dreaming that just assumed if you’re talented and wanted it bad enough it would happen easily.

I know a lot of people who think writing is nothing special and that it’s an easy thing to do. I often get those that think I don’t do anything at all because I’m “just a writer” they say and that’s “not that hard to do” which is infuriating because this is not a career for the feint of heart.  I have literally dedicated my entire life to this craft and it is who I am, not just what I do. At 41 I’m not on any New York Time’s Bestsellers list (as I hoped I would be at this point) and frankly I am just now in the process of re-releasing my first novel and a couple of poetry books this year but I have put in years of article writing and blogging here on this blog, creating a newsletter first, and then magazine, to make sure that I do my part to highlight other authors to the best of my ability, and now I even have a YouTube channel in which I talk about my writing life and that is not nothing.

A couple of years ago, in the mindset I was in then, I would have been sulking and further depressed about where I wasn’t in my life, only focused on what I haven’t been able to accomplish.  Today, because I have been working on my spiritual journey, my mindset has drastically shifted to where I don’t see it quite that way anymore. I see all that I have been able to accomplish as me laying the groundwork for all of the victorious things that I know are to come. I have been getting prepared for my dreams to come to fruition and I think I needed that preparation.

Just because things don’t happen on the timetable that we want them to, doesn’t mean they won’t happen. In fact it may be better for them not to happen when we want them because I find that oftentimes when we think we are ready for things, more than likely we aren’t ready at all. If you haven’t gotten to where you want in life just yet, don’t let that get you down. Just think of it as you laying the groundwork for all that is to come and keep pushing, keep working, and you will get there. God wouldn’t give you the vision and the dream if He hadn’t prepared a way for you to have it when He’s ready for you to.

Until next time #BePatient #BePersistent #BeReady

 

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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Side note:  I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

 

And if any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

When One Chapter Closes…

For the last week or so I’ve been doing last minute prepping details for my daughter’s high school graduation. It’s been a mixture of things from frustrating (just because of the tediousness of all the details), and exciting, and of course extremely emotional. Even though my daughter technically turned 18 on the first day of May I knew my actual job wasn’t really done until she successfully walked across that stage and received her high school diploma.

And yes, of course I know that a parent’s job is never actually done, but from birth until high school graduation is one really long chapter and once it closes the next chapter is going to look a bit different. I know this next chapter is going to be me parenting an adult child. I have to balance knowing when to trust that I raised her well enough to make the right decisions for herself and her newly adult life while knowing when to covertly sneak in and steer her in the direction I know is best for her but still making her think it was all really her choice lol.

I’m laughing but not really because isn’t that what we do when you strongly advise them to do something, giving them the benefit of our experiences. After that we just cross our fingers and hope they make the right call and that if they don’t make the choice we would’ve made, pray that your child is right and you are actually wrong because then that means they will be okay.

I am praying that I did a good enough job and that I instilled in her what she needs to make the decisions that will make her journey, not easy, but worthwhile.  I don’t know how this new chapter of parenting and this brand new chapter of adulthood for my child is going to go and I wish I can say I’m one of those people who embrace the excitement of finding out along the way but you guys know that I am not that person lol. 

I just pray that this next chapter for her will be everything that she wants it to be and that I will be able to be there for her in the way that pushes her forward and motivates her because I didn’t have a mother that cheered for my dreams and that supported my creative endeavors. I didn’t have a mother that I could even go to for advice about how best to follow my dreams so I have tried to be that for my daughter.

I just hope that I did my job well so that she can walk her journey with confidence and assuredness that she can, in fact, have everything that she dreams of, as long as she’s willing to put in the work for it. Graduation day is tomorrow and thus this chapter will be closed and a new one can begin. I’m just crossing my fingers and I’m going to cheer her on the whole way through.

Until next time… #BeBrave #BeEmpowered #BeFearless

 

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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https://twitter.com/jcladyluv 

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note:  I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

And if any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Slow and Steady Makes the Journey Worthwhile

I would be telling the biggest lie I’ve ever told if I said that I wasn’t one who was hoping to write something spectacular and hit it big immediately and become rich within the first five years of my writing career.  As you may have guessed, that has not happened. Not only have I not hit it big in name recognition or notoriety but I am so far from rich it’s not even remotely funny. In fact I’m going to let you in on a little secret (that’s not really so secret if you’ve been paying attention lol) but I am not even all that financially stable. I am literally just getting by, and barely.

Where am I going with this, you ask? Simply that sometimes quick and easy is overrated and slow and steady really is the right pace we all should be going. I have had so many experiences, both good and bad, along this journey that is my writing career and there was a time that I would have wished all of the struggles I’ve had away but I realize in doing that I would wish away all of the experiences I’ve had with them. Some of those experiences, especially the bad ones, strengthened me and made me into a much better writer and while you never stop growing as a writer, those experiences were vital.

I think that once I get to the level of success that I am striving for (the first level anyway), I will be far more grateful given all of the long, hard, and oftentimes depression filled years that it took to get me to that place. I have recently launched a few things and am moving closer to re-releasing my first novel with it’s new cover and releasing my poetry books, all while working on new novel projects as well and I am so excited for the day when I can say I have like ten published books (because that day is coming lol).

I think most of all I will look back on this slow (depressingly slow) and steady journey and be thankful that everything didn’t just speed by so quickly and that it wasn’t an easy road because as I’ve said here before, I don’t believe that anything worth having is ever going to be easy to obtain. I want a long steady and very successful career as an author, one with a legacy I can pass down to my daughter and I think maybe that means that the journey needs to be long and steady as well. We would do better to remember that it’s not about how fast you get to where you are going, it’s about making sure that you actually get to where you’re going and hopefully as prepared as you possibly can be. Faster isn’t always better.

Until next time… #BeGrateful #BeDiligent #BePatient 

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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https://twitter.com/jcladyluv 

https://twitter.com/write2bemag 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note:  I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

And if any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Pushing the Boundaries

So I did it! I did my first live stream this past weekend and I’m going to be honest, I did not hit it out of the park. I wasn’t necessarily planning to hit a home run here because if you know anything about me then you know I am terrified when it comes to doing something new, in particular something new that terrifies me in the first place. I’m never eager to fail at anything but I have been doing some growing these past few years, both spiritually and mentally, so I get that in order to succeed at anything there are going to be a few failures along the way because perfect is not a realistic goal. Could it have gone better? Yes! Do I regret doing it even though I feel I could’ve done much better? No! Just in the way that I felt terrified when I started my YouTube channel about being on camera to begin with but then gradually adapted to it and even liking it.

Sometimes doing things that we don’t necessarily want to do can end up being the best thing that we’ve ever done and if we just focused on the fact that it scares us then we would never much of anything.  It’s scary to grow past the box that you have learned to maneuver yourself in. You get accustomed to things being just the way you like them and in a way that doesn’t require you to have to learn anything new or do something you’re not used to doing and in my case, someone who has extreme anxiety and OCD and a nearly paralyzing fear of change, it can feel pretty good to know what to expect out of every day.  But then you never end up growing if it stays that way and to succeed in life with anything there has to be growth.

It’s something that I’m learning along this journey and something that definitely makes me feel uncomfortable. I suppose we all have two choices in the ladder of success. We can hold on to the rung that we’re on with the knowledge that as long as we hold on tight we won’t fall, we’ll stay right where we are. Or, we can have faith that if you just carefully move forward and grab one rung at a time, even knowing that there is a possibility of falling, that God will always be your safety net, thus remaining cautious yet still in motion. 

We can’t hold on at the same level forever, not if we ever expect to get anywhere. Success lies in the ability to reach for the next rung of the ladder and having faith that you won’t fall and if you do that God will be there to catch you and get you back on track. We can’t live in our comfort zones forever, and I’m not sure we should really want to even if we could.

Until next time… #BeBold #BeCourageous #BeBrave

 

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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https://twitter.com/jcladyluv 

https://twitter.com/write2bemag 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

 

Side note:  I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

And if any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

The Patches in Our Quilts

I was listening to an old Tyler Perry acceptance speech that talked about his grandmother’s quilt and how at first he was ashamed of the quilt his grandmother had left him because it wasn’t appealing to the eye. He spoke about learning how to eventually appreciate the patches in his grandmother’s quilt because he had to come to realize that every patch that went into making the quilt she left him told a story of an area in her life and her quilt was the overall story of her life and she was leaving that to him. Initially he hadn’t even understood the enormity of the legacy she had left him. It made me think about whether or not we always understand the value of our patches.

I have often at different points in my life of course, felt shame for some tough lessons I had to learn the hard way. I’ve felt regret for opportunities that I have been too afraid to take and for decisions that I couldn’t take back.  Now that I have just crossed into my forties and I have spent the last few years growing both spiritually and mentally, I have come to believe that those moments in my life that I used to want to take back have made me who I am, for better or for worse.

While I would have loved not to have learned some of the lessons I’ve learned the hard way I wonder if I would have ever learned them otherwise.  Would I have ever been pushed forward without the hardships that I’ve had? If I hadn’t been knocked down so many times would I have developed the tenacity and persistence to be able to keep getting back up and pushing harder for what I want?

All of our experiences in life give us something to take into the next phase of our journeys’. They prepare us and toughen us up for what will undoubtedly be a bumpy road to the success you’re striving for.  The failures that you’ve had in life are not what you should dwell on because those failures mean that you actually tried. One thing is for certain and that is that you can’t succeed at anything without ever having tried. 

My mistakes are what have strengthened me and they are patches in my life’s quilt. I am very proud to sew them together and see just how far I’ve come even if I still have quite a ways to go.  I hope to be able to pass the quilt of my life down to my daughter so that she can then be able to know my story. Perhaps she will add her own patches to the quilt to pass down to her kids in the future.  Everyone needs to be proud of the patches that they have in their quilts and not just proud but understand the value in every single patch.

Until next time… #BeBold #BeFearless #BeGateful

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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Are You Heeding the Call?

I do daily devotionals and have done a pretty good job of making a habit of reading my devotionals and my bible readings for quite some time now. It is a welcomed part of my spiritual journey and growth and something that I had convinced myself at one point in my life that I didn’t need to do. Yesterday after listening to a message from my Pastor about obeying God’s will I read in my devotional about answering the call that God has placed on our lives and obeying the voice of God and not the whispers of Fear.

It got me to thinking about how many times we dismiss the gifts that we inherit from God and how much time do we waste ignoring what we know we’re called to do and fighting that calling. More importantly it made me contemplate how many people’s lives do we miss the opportunity to touch and what that means because we didn’t act soon enough?

When I was younger and realized that writing was my passion and my gift I thought that it was mostly because it was the outlet I needed to release some of the emotional pain I had to deal with in my childhood. Not that I don’t write for the readers and to of course tell the stories living in my head but I felt very silenced as a kid and that was my way of using my voice. I’m not sure when it was exactly that I realized that my writing actually helped other people but at the moment that I did I shifted the way I thought about what I wanted my writing career to do.

I had one major goal prior to that realization and that was to make the New York Times Best Seller List. However that has shifted to how I can use my words and my writing to effect change in the world, or in people generally.  Now, yes my writing is still and always about the stories I tell, but everything that I do within my writing career is about what it can do for others and how I can help others. With my YouTube channel, with my magazine, with my up coming podcast, with the products I’m creating to sell, it is about making other people understand that someone sees them.

I can’t imagine what it would have been like if I hadn’t realized early on what my calling was and if I had just ignored it. It wasn’t like I didn’t think of other career choices when I went to college and I do after all have a Master’s in Psychology and a Bachelor’s in Communications so it isn’t that there aren’t other avenues that I could have taken, certainly they would’ve provide more financial stability. But I knew what I was put on this earth to do and while I had to figure out exactly how my calling could make a difference in the world, I knew that I wasn’t going to give up on what I truly felt God put me on this earth for. 

Have you realized what you were called to do? Have you been wasting too much time fighting that calling? Have you been listening too much to those whispers of fear? Don’t let fear stop you from doing what you were meant to do.  You have a gift that can help change and improve this world. Don’t waste any more time ignoring it.

Until next time… #BeMindful #BeMotivated #BeFearless

 

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

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Exploring Every Inch of the Road in the Journey

The day we cease to explore is the day we begin to wilt. ~Cicely Tyson

Good or bad, life is nothing but a bunch of experiences. We have really good moments and we have really bad moments, and oftentimes the bad moments start to feel like they are more present than the good.  Where am I going with this you ask? Well, just that mistakes and hard times are simply apart of the exploration that we do throughout our journey. We can’t avoid them and in all honesty we should probably be welcoming them.

This thought process came to my mind because of a zoom call that I had with some wonderfully creative girlfriends of mine. We were getting together (virtually) to discuss Cicely Tyson’s book and other extraordinarily talented black creative artists. Of course the conversation ventured over to discussing our own creative endeavors and what our vision was for the things we were working on. I was singled out, and rightfully so (because they know me so very well), for often being afraid of stepping outside the box and exploring things, mainly for fear of making mistakes.

I have expressed here many times over the years this really tiresome dance that I do with my fear and how I strive to move past that and I’ve made strides and every now and then I realize I hadn’t let go of all of these fears as much as I would like to believe.  Don’t get me wrong, I am way better than I was years ago in terms of dealing with my constant fears and the obstacle the fear itself presents itself to be. I just have a ways more to go. On that zoom call I was reminded of advice from other successful people throughout history which is that the more you fail or rather make mistakes, the more life experience you have to put into your work and the better you can make the next attempt.

Not exploring things, not exploring life, is in many ways not allowing yourself to experience both successes and failures in various magnitudes and to use those learning experiences to fuel your drive and motivation to power forward.  Without exploration we don’t really learn what works and what doesn’t work, what we like and what we don’t like, and we simply don’t learn much of anything about who we are. 

If you are letting fear hold you back or keep you in that place of comfort, stop holding yourself back from experiencing every aspect there is of success, and that includes the moments in which you will undoubtedly making mistakes. It is not failing to get things wrong and to mess up. You only become a failure when you cease to explore at all. Never stop exploring every inch of the road you will walk on your journey.

Until next time… #BeCourageous #BeInspired #BeFearless

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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No Holding Back (Anymore?)

I saw a message of motivation on social media over the weekend. It essentially pointed out that whatever it is that you are holding yourself back from doing because you’re afraid you won’t do it perfectly, someone else is already doing the same thing, and not only are they doing it incorrectly, but they’re okay with it not being done right.  They are making a viable income off of it, not necessarily because it’s a good product but rather that they are confident in their mediocrity. In the end it said that you should believe in your own excellence as much as other people tend to believe in their mediocrity and it really spoke to me. Then the message my Pastor spoke about this past Sunday was on anxiety and that too felt like it was aimed directly at me.

I’ve been doing fairly well managing my anxiety levels over the course of this past year, odd given the current state of the world in which everyone’s anxiety levels are understandably up.  My anxiety has peeked once again over the last couple of weeks but not because of the health crisis going on right now but rather because of the goals I didn’t achieve in the year 2020 and the goals that I am setting in the coming year of 2021 and some of it is because I have held back on doing things because I feel like I’m not going to do it “perfect” enough.

I have been letting my anxiety get in the way of quite a few things in the last few weeks and it’s a struggle to tell those negative voices in my mind to shut up.  I don’t know if someone will do it better or even do it at all. I’m holding back on things that I’ve wanted to do for a long time now based on what ifs and that doesn’t get me anywhere. I have to stop holding myself back from doing things because of what I feel someone else can do better because the truth is I don’t know that and the only thing I can really control is putting all of my cards on the table and letting them fall wherever they may.  Until next time… #BeInspired #BeMotivated #BeFearless

 

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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It’s Not Failing If You Learned Something

As I recently made a video discussing my fourth quarter goals and therein my third quarter failures I felt the need to reiterate the revelation that I make in my video (it will be posted tomorrow if you want to subscribe to my channel to see it when it uploads) here to those of you who might read this.  I like to think that what we would traditionally deem as our failures, we should start thinking of them as lessons.

Something is only a failure if you never learn anything from it. I did not do well with my quarter 3 goals and I held off on making my video about what I wanted my fourth quarter goals to be because I was frankly a bit embarrassed at the complete and utter lack of completion with quarter 3. But as I thought about it more and more I realized that while I didn’t get the things done that I wanted to I learned a lot in the process. I gained more information that I didn’t have before and that I needed. I also did inch forward on the goal, just not the huge strides.

Every lesson learned on the way to your destination is making you better and more prepared to face what’s coming up next and if you understand that, if you have learned the lessons and begin to put them into practice, then you haven’t failed. You only fail if you were too closed off or stubborn or set in your own ways to learn something.

So think about that the next time you’re calling yourself a failure because something you’ve been working hard on didn’t go the way you envisioned. Did you learn something? Did you get the knowledge that you needed to make another go at it and get further along the next time you make your attempt? If the answer is yes, then you haven’t failed. You’ve grown and that’s really all that we can ask for.  Until next time… #BeOpenminded #BeWilling #BeProductive

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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