It’s Either Fear Or Success, It Can’t Be Both

Seek to understand whatever you’re afraid of.  That was one of the messages in a video message that I got in my email as being a part of the Tyler Perry Mailing list.  He had a huge fear of flying so he sought out to learn everything that he could about airplanes and eventually became a pilot and started flying his own planes.  Not only did he conquer and overcome his fear, but he took fear and rose above that fear (or should I say flew above it).  

So I was sitting here trying to figure out what I was most afraid of.  You know, not the little things like being afraid of bugs, or heights (which is not really a little thing because I am greatly afraid of heights), but the things that will halt me in my tracks of wherever it is I’m trying to go.  I can’t really do much at this present moment in my life about my fear of being on a stage and doing any type of public speaking (which I truly believed kept me from ever pursuing a singing or acting career).  But there is a fear that I do still have time to do something about.  

I don’t know if you would characterize it as a fear of failure or a fear of actually succeeding, but either way that you phrase it, it is a huge problem.  On the one hand there’s the part of me that would be devastated at giving it my absolute best, a hundred percent, and falling flat on my face, and on the other hand there is the part of me that is afraid that if I do give it my absolute best and I do succeed, then what happens if I can’t keep it up.  I know what you’re all thinking.  Nothing is ever going to go completely smooth all the time so that even if I do succeed then there is bound to be some down moments but it is the down moments that have me stuck, or rather the fear of them.  

I’ve started to take a look at a lot of the business people, and writers, and moguls that I admire and aspire to learn from and as any of you might have guessed, Tyler Perry is definitely at the top of that list for me.  He has proven that you can come from not so humble beginnings, and suffer horrendous things in your life and that even when no one else believes in you that you believing in you can really be enough.  I’m never disappointed when I get an email from Tyler Perry’s Mailing list because his message is always just what I needed to hear.  I guess there’s no way I can really succeed if I’m too busy being afraid to.  So it’s either I let the fear win out over the success, or I succeed in spite of the fear.  I really can’t have it both ways.        

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

Lessons In Failure

“Some failure in life is inevitable; it is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you fail by default.”              

~ J.K. Rowling

The fear of failure is paralyzing.  It is much like a parasite that sucks all of the hope, determination, and courage out of you; chipping away at your will to succeed little by little, day by day, obstacle by obstacle.  But much like any debilitating illness that takes a hold of your body, there is a recovery process.  It may take longer than you think to get there but the key is wanting it bad enough and keeping your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel. 

It is safe to say that we are all going to fail at some point in our lives.  It is both what we do with, and how we chose to perceive that failure that determines whether it will cripple us or make us stronger.  Where some people get off track is in perceiving any moment of failure as anything but a much needed step forward in our road to success.  If we never fail it means we have never taken any risk and that we have always played things safe.  But playing it safe isn’t really living.

We need failure.  Yes it causes us to doubt ourselves, to lose sight of our purpose, even to think about giving up altogether.  But it also brings about a realization.  It humbles us while strengthening us.  It breaks us down and then builds us back up.  It renews our fight and determination to achieve the things that we really want out of life.  Without our failures we might never truly appreciate or grasps the depths of our successes.  If you are afraid to fail then you are essentially afraid to live because in living your life to its fullest potential, failure is inevitable. 

For a large part of my life I have let the fear of failure immobilize me.  Always trying to remain cautious; using the excuse of maintaining a routine as a reason to ward off change, all the while staying stuck in the same place because of it.  From here on out I am not going to be so afraid to fail that I never even try to succeed.  Instead I plan to embrace my failures, every single one of them, because they all mean something.  Whether it is something good or something bad, it is a lesson nonetheless.  Our failures show us what we did wrong so that we can finally get it right.  If anyone reading this is struggling with this same fear, let go of it right now.  It is that fear of failure that is killing your opportunity for success.  Take a risk today, and if you fail, take another one tomorrow.  What else do have to lose?  Think about what you stand to gain.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://jayceedurant.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://freemynd.wordpress.com/

http://spokenlikeaqueen.blogspot.com/ 

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

www.authorsden.com/jimmettacarpenter