Roots – Write 2 Be

Losing a relationship with someone, especially a close friendship can be hard. If you’re anything like me, someone who believes in working hard at the close connections you have and that those bonds take work, then it’s extremely hard. However, sometimes instead of trying so hard to hold onto those particular relationships, we have to see them for what they are. Some people were meant to be in your life for a moment in time. Some are meant to be there for a season, sometimes many seasons of your life. Then there are those that are like the roots, and they are there for a lifetime.

You don’t get many of those root people and what you may not see is that the time you spend trying to hold onto the person that was meant to only be seasonal, you could be damaging the relationship you have with the roots. I have been blessed to have a lot of really amazing people enter my life and the thing about me is that I am a person who has a hard time truly letting people in so when I do, I tend to hold on pretty tightly. I don’t call too many people friend, not lightly, so when I use that word, it means I feel a deep connection with you. Which is why it is hard when that friend that I now see was just a seasonal friend, essentially decides that I’m no longer good enough to be their friend.

Now hear me when I say I know that I am a good enough person to be anyone’s friend and that just because I am going through a very hard time right now does not make me less than worthy. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt when someone tries to make you feel exactly that way because suddenly your life got too hard for them. Their loss, not mine. It just made me see even more in depth who my real friends are and who they are not. Real friends help you see the light that you are.

On those dark days they help you get to the other side of that dark tunnel and allow you to see there are people who care about you and not what you have (or in my case what I don’t have). Real friends are there to lift you up emotionally when you need it and know when to take a step back when you need that too. Real, true friends help you see things outside of your comfort zone and they see what sometimes others are too busy or just too selfish to see. They see the potential in you that oftentimes your own family doesn’t even see.

I have been fortunate enough to have some real friends by my side through this dark time and I am so happy that they have been there for me. That they haven’t abandoned me. That they, on the days when it’s really hard to, they help me see the good in myself, and even point out the good that’s happened around me in spite of all of the bad. They have helped keep me focused on the things I can accomplish instead of dwelling on what I can’t get done. They have reminded me that I am not my situation. I am much more than that. I’m very thankful for them. I hope everyone has real friends like them. Having a tribe supporting you can sometimes make a world of difference in how you choose to respond to the things that are happening around you.

Let the leaves (false friends) fall away from you and accept that their time in your life is now up. Take stock of those roots that decided to plant themselves around you and gave you the nourishment that you needed to grow and flourish. We can’t do everything alone in this life and in the worst times that you will face, it will be those roots that will keep you grounded and push you forward when you feel you can’t move on your own.

Until next time… #BeMindful #BeResilient #BeEncouraged

Link to my Ko-fi with the updated goal: https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Link to my GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/55b817f1

Link to my Amazon Wish List: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FHOYNA8LFMHG?ref_=list_d_wl_lfu_nav_4

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.facebook.com/jimmetta.carpenter

https://www.amazon.com/author/jccarpenter

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

https://www.facebook.com/AuthorJCCarpenter

https://www.write2bematters.com

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

https://www.youtube.com/c/AuthorJCCarpenter

https://www.pinterest.com/jcladyluv/_saved/

https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Also check out my new Red Bubble Shop: https://www.redbubble.com/people/Write2BeMatters/shop for some cool and fun stickers and also check out my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=74026650 and think about becoming a Patron!

I saw a social media post this morning that got me thinking about the thought process we have sometimes behind creating our circle of friends and the standards or boundaries we set, or often times don’t set. The post was essentially about not putting too much of our burdens on our friends, particularly if we aren’t reciprocating and allowing them to cast some of theirs on us as well. Now obviously our friendships should never be viewed as a burden but so many friendships are rarely fifty-fifty. There’s always a little lopsidedness going on at different points in the relationship.

I suppose the question lies in how we distinguish between friends and associates. Then the question becomes do we limit what our friends can put on us and to what extent because the shoe can always be placed on the other foot. This brings up that Tyler Perry play that I saw once (can’t remember the exact name at this moment) where he gave advice about knowing people’s place in our lives and comparing it to a tree of life scenario.

There are some people who are just the leaves on our tree of life, those acquaintances that we wouldn’t really classify as friends, but they are not without their added value in our lives. They may have very well come along just to show us something about ourselves that we needed to see through someone else’s eyes. Then there are those branches, those friends who are there for just a season. They are there to get us through something, most likely they are equipped with something that we are lacking just a little of so they can help us get through. They are necessary and they are most certainly a blessing, but they aren’t meant to stay and sometimes it can do more harm than good trying to hold onto the branches of a tree that have long since served their purpose.

Then there are those roots. Those friends who have a firm place in your life and who hold you up when you are collapsing and who, without them, you wouldn’t be who you are. They are the ones who ground you and remind you not only of who you are, but of whose you are even when you sometimes forget. They don’t have to necessarily be friends you’ve known all your life either. Sometimes you can just have met someone who does so much in a short period of time to change your life and your perspective that it can feel like you’ve known them for a lifetime.

In creating your circle of friends don’t get hung up on how many friends you have around you, going for the maximum number possible. It’s not the size of the circle that matters, but rather the quality of the people within that circle. It’s whether you have a whole bunch of leaves that you have not yet swept away. It’s whether you have far too many branches that need to be removed. It’s whether you are watering and nurturing those roots in order to sustain the tree itself.

You can have just three solid root friends and still have the best circle than that of someone who has 20 friends who are leaves and branches. It’s not about accumulating a massive amount of people around you. It’s about having the people around you be the best ones to add value to your life, and you to theirs. The roots are where the value of the tree lies. Get yourself some roots and make sure that you are someone else’s root!

Until next time… #BeMindful #BePatient #BeKind