Number 5 on my list yesterday was ‘Keeping people around you that are not going to give you a swift kick in the ass’ and a part of that is not surrounding yourself with people who constantly try to do everything they can to bring negativity to you. It is always good when you can separate yourself from those that do not support your goals and that do not believe in you. But how do you separate yourself when the people or person who is against you is your family, not just family members, but your own mother.
My mother has never been supportive of my dream of being a writer and she has been very verbal about the fact that she thinks that my pursuing that dream is a huge waste of time. She made her point again today that I am wasting my time with this writing ‘stuff’ as she referred to it.
Years ago that would have bothered me. That would have eaten away at me and seeped inside of my soul with her words eventually starting to be projected in my own voice. That would have sent me into months and months of questioning my dreams and whether I could really make them happen. I would spend months thinking to myself that if my own mother doesn’t believe in me, then who else will.
Like I said, that would have been me years ago. That would have been a form of me self-sabotaging myself by way of my mother’s negativity. Now I know that I can not completely cut my mother off (well I could but she did give birth to me so that would be wrong) but I have learned to distance myself from her. More importantly, when she starts to talk about how my goals and dreams don’t matter and that their not worth the time and effort I am putting into them, I have to learn how to cut her off (respectfully of course) and tell her that I can’t be around the negativity.
I know that you can’t really tune out or walk away from every negative vibe that tries to come within your orbit, but you can’t make your dream a reality if you don’t at least try. Negative energy just breeds more negative energy so if you allow it into your inner circle then you also allow it to influence your spirit. So if you are keeping people around you that are only bringing negative energy to you then it is time to distance yourself from them. Stop sabotaging yourself with the company you are keeping. Until tomorrow…Remember that your kin is not always your kind!
Jimmetta Carpenter
Writer/Editor
The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)
Writing as “Jaycee Durant”
https://writetobe.wordpress.com/
http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310
“Stop sabotaging yourself with the company you are keeping.”
I don’t think I’ve ever read a truer statement!
I have the opposite problem from my mom, she loves everything I write and supports it all so when I get rejected she is offended. I love her for her support but she doesn’t make the best editor because she can never cut out any of my words.lol. However, there are others around me who may support that I write but also demand too much of my time. You do have to be careful who you let into your circle if you want to succeed.