The year so far has gone by so fast already. We are already in the month of May and I find myself feeling like I just want to hit the rewind button and begin this year all over again.
I had set out to do so many things this year and once again I am in another year of endless letdowns (some of my own making). I don’t know if it is that I set my goals for this year way too high or if I just didn’t bust my ass hard enough to make them happen by any means necessary (probably the latter).
I wanted to travel this year (nowhere specific, just anywhere to get out ofMaryland). I wanted to have my second novel in process of publication already and getting ready to make its debut to the world. I wanted to go to a vocal coach and get my voice back in shape because I wanted to make use of it before it’s too late. I wanted my freelance writing career to become a lot more successful then it has been and getting me to the level of income that allowed me to do the things I wanted to do this year.
So much time I have wasted worrying and stressing about the everyday necessary single mama type of things that there just wasn’t any energy left over for the things that I just want for me. I know that you are probably saying that it’s not too late, the year isn’t over just yet and that is true, but it’s hard for me, at this very moment, to see this year turning out the way I had hoped it would.
I could’ve sworn that this year was going to be my year. I could feel it deep down in the very pit of my soul. Were my gut instincts wrong? Was I thought off in my timing? Is it next year that I have to look forward to?
Well the year isn’t over yet and I do still have a lot of things I could still put in the works, at the very least, to begin the next year off with a good start. I just hope that I can still make the rest of this year that is left count for something.
The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)
Writing as “Jaycee Durant”