So I have begun CampNaNoWriMo as of last Wednesday and I was right that it would help me get focused again on my novel. I haven’t necessarily written the amount of words I should have written by this point but I have gotten back into the story and my mind has started swirling ideas around regarding the outcome of my character.
My words are coming along much better then I thought they would but I do still have that feeling every once and a while of wishing that I could write like…well any of the writers who crank out more than three or four novels in a year. That list would contain some of my favorites like Joyce Carol Oates and James Patterson and Eric Jerome Dickey and Zane.
I keep thinking to myself I wish I could do whatever it is that they do to produce the amount of work that they produce. Then I remind myself that I have to stop comparing myself to other writers because I am not them, but rather the best version of myself that I can be. I do that a lot you know. Think that so many other people have it better than I do and have so much more than I do or that they seem to be able to be so much better at writing or succeeding in general than I am.
I try not to compare having the old saying in the back of my mind that the grass is not always greener on the other side, but it’s hard when you see others who just look like they have it all, like they have all the answers to the questions that I keep asking. But just like other people don’t know my story and my struggles, I do not know theirs either. I don’t know what they had to go through to get where they are and what they have to continue going through now that they’ve gotten where I seemingly would like to be.
It is a slow process but I am learning to take stock in what I have and what I can do because the truth is that there is no comparison to be made here. I am me, not anybody else and what I have is for me to have or for me to struggle with. I have to keep in mind that I shouldn’t wish for anyone else’s journey. These struggles and this journey of mine is what was meant for me to travel and I am going to take stock in every bump in the road along the way until I get to the destination that was meant for me.
The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)
Writing as “Jaycee Durant”