Tag: Comparison

Let’s Not Play the Comparison Game

jcladyluv

“Comparison is the thief of joy” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

I try extra hard not to compare things happening in my life to the things that happen in the lives of those around me and in my circle. I would say that out of all of the days in a month, over half of them I succeed in that mission because I know that we can never see what someone else does in their everyday life to achieve whatever level of success they’re having at the moment. In reality the truth is that most of the time, if you are not succeeding at whatever dream you are chasing the problem isn’t someone else’s efforts on their journey but perhaps your lack of effort in your own, or it could just simply not be your time. Most days I remember that. Most.

There are some days, maybe a little over a handful, where you truly feel like you are doing absolutely everything that you possibly can, and you see someone on a similar path as you and everything seems to be working out in amazing fashion for them. Frankly in those few days the shit just feels unfair. You’re working your ass off, pouring everything you’ve got into this dream and vision you have, and sometimes pouring things you don’t have in the emotional tank and still…nothing. You think, how much damn adversity is one person supposed to go through before they just break. That whole notion where it’s just not your time and your time will come just seems like utter bullshit on those days and you’re just mad at anyone who is on the adjacent path and are just traveling along with no bumps or obstacles that YOU can see. Does any of this sound like feelings you’ve dealt with? No! Just me?

Well, I have had a few of those days already for the month of January and I’m telling you, sometimes it just makes me want to throw in the towel and give up on everything. But then I look at my vision board and see this quote I put on there for this very eventual moment. It says, “You didn’t come this far, to ONLY come this far”. I need the constant reminder that I’ve come so much farther than I have to go (at least I hope so because truthfully, I can’t see the entire road ahead of me) and that if I quit now, it will have all been for nothing. Honestly if I didn’t believe in my dream and my vision so emphatically, I probably would have given up on it a very long time ago, but I believe in this and I know this is what I was put here to do.

This is what I need to remind myself of when I start comparing my journey to the road that other people are on because the only thing that accomplishes is it makes me resentful of that person (and that’s not who I am) and it plants seeds of doubt in my own mind about my journey. I have different abilities and limits than the next person and I can’t map out my journey according to someone else’s level of effort and ability because, once again, their journey and mine won’t be the same.

So, when you have those bad days where everyone’s road starts to look so much easier to you than your own, just remember that while it’s natural to have those feelings, you have to put into perspective that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. As the quote says at the top of the post, comparison is the biggest thief of joy and I for one want more joy in my life, I don’t want to be the one stealing joy away from myself. Don’t you allow yourself to be the thief of your own joy. Just make sure to keep watering the grass on your own side of the fence.

Until next time… #BePatient #BeBold #BeMindful

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.facebook.com/jimmetta.carpenter

https://www.amazon.com/author/jccarpenter

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

https://www.facebook.com/AuthorJCCarpenter

https://www.write2bematters.com

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

https://www.youtube.com/c/AuthorJCCarpenter

https://www.pinterest.com/jcladyluv/_saved/

https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Also check out my new Red Bubble Shop: https://www.redbubble.com/people/Write2BeMatters/shop for some cool and fun stickers and also check out my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=74026650 and think about becoming a Patron!

Advertisement

Keep Your Eyes on the Finish Line

jcladyluv

You ever watch a sports game and find yourself constantly staring at the scoreboard when things get heightened. Things are tense, the score is close and your team is so close to making that comeback that you’ve been waiting most of the second half for them to make. You’re sitting on the sidelines so naturally you can keep a watchful eye on the score almost simultaneously as you watch the plays being navigated on the field or floor.

Well as a fan you can do that because you’re not playing the game yourself. But could you imagine what would happen if the players in the game kept their eyes on the scoreboard the entire time, trying to see just how close the score is getting. Trying to figure out just how far they are from the finish line and if they might have a chance to actually pull from behind and take the win? They can’t afford to split their focus between watching and comparing point for point how they measure up against the opposition. If they are constantly watching the scoreboard then that means that they aren’t concentrating on the forward moves that they need to be making to win the game.

Well life is much like a sports game in that way. You are always going to be in some form of competition against someone else who is trying to get to the same place that you are trying to get to. Who may very well be trying to do the exact same things that you are doing (ex. writing in the same genre, or writing the same type of short story, or writing the same kind of music, etc.). If you are a creative, chances are that you already realize that you’re not the only creative person in the world.

There are thousands, if not millions, trying to be just as successful in the same field you are trying to be successful in. If your focus is always on the person next to you, the one that you might be in direct competition with, then how can you possibly concentrate on what you’re producing and how you are representing yourself in terms of the work that you present? You might be great at multi tasking but you can not watch the scoreboard AND watch the path in front of you at the same time. If you’re so busy focused on where the other players are measuring up then you can’t possibly have solid focus on the road ahead of you.

Comparison is such a dangerous thing when you are in the creative field because you always want your work to shine and of course you want to win and while it’s true that you aren’t always going to be the winner in every scenario, you most certainly can’t win if your head isn’t in the game (and not on the scoreboard). Your only real competition is yourself so if you keep your focus on always being better than the person that you were the day before then you’ve already won. So when you get tempted to check the scoreboard of life, to see how close you are to getting the win, remember that the best way to make sure you secure the win is to keep your eyes straight ahead of you, and to keep moving forward towards the goal line. The finish line is not on the scoreboard! Until next time… #BeFocused #BeMindful #BePurposeful

 

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

https://www.facebook.com/AuthorJCCarpenter

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv 

https://twitter.com/write2bemag 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

There is No Comparison To Be Made

jcladyluv

So I have begun CampNaNoWriMo as of last Wednesday and I was right that it would help me get focused again on my novel.  I haven’t necessarily written the amount of words I should have written by this point but I have gotten back into the story and my mind has started swirling ideas around regarding the outcome of my character.  

My words are coming along much better then I thought they would but I do still have that feeling every once and a while of wishing that I could write like…well any of the writers who crank out more than three or four novels in a year.  That list would contain some of my favorites like Joyce Carol Oates and James Patterson and Eric Jerome Dickey and Zane.  

I keep thinking to myself I wish I could do whatever it is that they do to produce the amount of work that they produce.  Then I remind myself that I have to stop comparing myself to other writers because I am not them, but rather the best version of myself that I can be.  I do that a lot you know.  Think that so many other people have it better than I do and have so much more than I do or that they seem to be able to be so much better at writing or succeeding in general than I am.  

I try not to compare having the old saying in the back of my mind that the grass is not always greener on the other side, but it’s hard when you see others who just look like they have it all, like they have all the answers to the questions that I keep asking.  But just like other people don’t know my story and my struggles, I do not know theirs either.  I don’t know what they had to go through to get where they are and what they have to continue going through now that they’ve gotten where I seemingly would like to be.   

It is a slow process but I am learning to take stock in what I have and what I can do because the truth is that there is no comparison to be made here.  I am me, not anybody else and what I have is for me to have or for me to struggle with.  I have to keep in mind that I shouldn’t wish for anyone else’s journey.  These struggles and this journey of mine is what was meant for me to travel and I am going to take stock in every bump in the road along the way until I get to the destination that was meant for me.  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress