In the message yesterday (via live stream service) there was one thing that my Pastor touched on that really hit home in a significant way. He was speaking of the opposition that we face in many different respects but the main one I want to focus on in this post was the opposition that we sometimes pose to ourselves. In the pursuit of our dreams we come across many obstacles, some seem manageable and others appear insurmountable, but our biggest hurdles can often times be our own internal dialogue. The conversations we have with ourselves can either be the most damaging or the most purposeful but you have to frist be aware of what you are telling yourself.
I know that for me I tend to second guess almost everything and I’m a bit of a perfectionists as well so I’m that person that wants to wait until everything lines up perfectly. The thing that I’ve come to realize in the crazy times that we’re living in right now is that waiting around until everything is perfectly in its place has just resulted in me having a lot of ideas in the works but no concrete products to show for it. I keep waiting for the ideas that I have to be perfect, or near perfect, because I have convinced myself that in order for anyone to want what I’m putting out there it has to be perfection. However, that’s not realistic and it is yet another form of being my own worst enemy.
There’s a phrase that I’ve heard used a lot and that I’ve been adapting recently and that is that I have to start getting out of my own way. That means that I can’t sit back until things are perfect anymore and I can’t wait for the feeling of uncomfortable-ness to go away (because with my anxiety it probably won’t) in order to pursue a goal that I really want to go after. Having said all of that, I am launching a YouTube channel sometime in the next two weeks (I will announce here again when it is up and ready) but I have wanted to do this for at least the last year and a half. Why didn’t I do it sooner, you ask? There were so many reasons, I wasn’t comfortable with being on camera, I didn’t have all of the right equipment, I didn’t feel comfortable on camera, I didn’t think anyone would care about anything I have to say, and did I mention that I don’t feel comfortable on camera.
It’s something that I’ve been feeling drawn to do so I am stepping outside of my box and I’m doing it. I’m also releasing my book for writers in three parts via eBook format, the first part to be released towards the end of May (oh that’s this month), as well as two poetry book collections in May. In addition to those three things that I have coming out this month, I am re-releasing my first novel, The Diary: Succession of Lies, in June (date forthcoming soon). I have a few other things in the works but I will share details about those when I get more concrete dates. I have been amazingly productive lately and it’s mostly because during this time of isolation I have begun to step outside of that box that I’ve kept myself in for far too many years and I’m nervous but excited for what I am putting together. I will come back to post an update of the releases of things a little later in the week and I hope that you will support me as I step out on that ledge of uncertainty. Until next time… #BeUncomfortable #BeProductive #BeFearless