In the two weeks or so that I have had this new YouTube channel I have already felt myself growing. No I’m not talking about the number of subscribers or anything as far as analytics (not that I would mind a sudden wave of new subscribers at any moment one of you feels like doing so lol). I’m speaking of personal growth. I think I’ve said before that the reason it has taken me so ling to start this channel was because I was nervous and while I am confident in my writing (mostly anyway) I am not confident being on camera and talking in front of an audience (virtual or otherwise). It’s not that I don’t feel I have any information to offer, it’s that I’m not always sure that anyone would actually care about what I have to say.
Being on camera makes me feel vulnerable, as if I’m opening up a vein and allowing people to see a completely different side of me. It’s weird being vulnerable in this way, and not just through my writing itself. But I feel like I’m getting a little more comfortable with it and perhaps it will help me down the line with public speaking which I want to get into, especially when I start doing book tours and doing the artists events that I plan to do in the future (well into the future the way this pandemic has us going) and this, I feel, is preparing me for bigger and better things.
I had been feeling like this was something that I was being called to do for a while now and I wasn’t listening to that call for so long because I let my fear get in the way. Now that I finally heeded the call and followed what I felt God was leading me to do, I can almost see the ways in which it will help prepare me for other things. I know I’ve said that I don’t like change but when I do finally change with things, I usually find myself wishing I had went along with the change earlier and I’m genuinely glad that I got out of my own way.
If there is something that you are instinctively being led to do, stop throwing up your own set of road blocks, and just let the fear go and dive right in. Anything that is worth achieving is going to take a certain amount of guts and for that you have to move past all of the things that are telling you that it won’t work and embrace the change. Then, and only then, will you truly be able to grow in the way that you need to. Until next time… #BeVulnerable #BeConfident #BetheChange