I was thinking about investments the other day. Not just the investments that we make in other things but also the investments that we make in ourselves or rather the investments that we are resistant to make in ourselves for multiple reasons. I have an extremely hard time doing things that are just for me or that are even for my business related stuff. I always feel guilty, like I should be buying something for my daughter rather than buying myself anything, never mind that my daughter has just about everything she already needs either by me or by her grandmother.
For seventeen years of her life I have had to sacrifice and put things aside for myself because she needed more than I did. I’m not saying that as a complaint either because that comes with being a mother, especially being a single mother. However there comes a time when you do have to put yourself first and that is actually still for the benefit of my daughter. Number one, because if I don’t take care of myself then I can’t effectively take care of her and number two because I want her to learn for the future that taking care of her is not a bad thing. Not only that it’s not a bad thing, but that it is a necessary thing for mental sanity.
I struggled for at least three whole days (it may have been more honestly) last week about buying three items that I needed for my writing office and my blossoming YouTube channel. Things that can inevitably help to grow my business even more. I had to actually seek some counsel from two of my closest friends who understood why I was struggling with this purchase. I had been blessed recently and things are starting to turn around, slowly but surely, enough to the point where I was even able to consider making this particular investment, and I just didn’t want to misuse this blessing.
I also, once again, felt like perhaps I should be buying my daughter something and not something for myself (even though she’s not really going anywhere right now because—quarantine). My two friends, my spiritual consultants if you will (lol) had to convince me that I had nothing to feel guilty about. They also made the very valid point that it was nothing wrong with making an investment in me and in my business which will ultimately make life better for my daughter and me. I finally made the purchase and I am happy about it and I feel good about the growth in my business it will inevitably foster. It just baffles me why I was struggling so much with this.
How do you deal with these feelings of guilt when it comes to doing something that is just for you? What do you do to push through those feelings? For me it was having my two friends give me that nudge and make me see what I for some reason couldn’t see on my own. That God gave me this particular blessing so that I can better myself and better my circumstances. He enabled me to be able to reposition myself so that I can get even more equipped for the purpose that he has for the next phase in my life. However, if I would have talked myself out of making this investment than I would have altered the course for which God was setting me on. Don’t talk yourself out of your purpose! Until next time… #BeOpen #BeMindful #BeWilling