Making Necessary Investments in Yourself IS NOT SELFISH

I was thinking about investments the other day. Not just the investments that we make in other things but also the investments that we make in ourselves or rather the investments that we are resistant to make in ourselves for multiple reasons. I have an extremely hard time doing things that are just for me or that are even for my business related stuff. I always feel guilty, like I should be buying something for my daughter rather than buying myself anything, never mind that my daughter has just about everything she already needs either by me or by her grandmother.

For seventeen years of her life I have had to sacrifice and put things aside for myself because she needed more than I did. I’m not saying that as a complaint either because that comes with being a mother, especially being a single mother. However there comes a time when you do have to put yourself first and that is actually still for the benefit of my daughter. Number one, because if I don’t take care of myself then I can’t effectively take care of her and number two because I want her to learn for the future that taking care of her is not a bad thing. Not only that it’s not a bad thing, but that it is a necessary thing for mental sanity.

I struggled for at least three whole days (it may have been more honestly) last week about buying three items that I needed for my writing office and my blossoming YouTube channel. Things that can inevitably help to grow my business even more. I had to actually seek some counsel from two of my closest friends who understood why I was struggling with this purchase. I had been blessed recently and things are starting to turn around, slowly but surely, enough to the point where I was even able to consider making this particular investment, and I just didn’t want to misuse this blessing.

I also, once again, felt like perhaps I should be buying my daughter something and not something for myself (even though she’s not really going anywhere right now because—quarantine). My two friends, my spiritual consultants if you will (lol) had to convince me that I had nothing to feel guilty about. They also made the very valid point that it was nothing wrong with making an investment in me and in my business which will ultimately make life better for my daughter and me. I finally made the purchase and I am happy about it and I feel good about the growth in my business it will inevitably foster. It just baffles me why I was struggling so much with this.

How do you deal with these feelings of guilt when it comes to doing something that is just for you? What do you do to push through those feelings? For me it was having my two friends give me that nudge and make me see what I for some reason couldn’t see on my own. That God gave me this particular blessing so that I can better myself and better my circumstances. He enabled me to be able to reposition myself so that I can get even more equipped for the purpose that he has for the next phase in my life. However, if I would have talked myself out of making this investment than I would have altered the course for which God was setting me on. Don’t talk yourself out of your purpose! Until next time… #BeOpen #BeMindful #BeWilling

 

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv 

https://twitter.com/write2bemag 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

 

Making Investments in Our Future

“There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.”

~Graham Greene 

I watched the Oscars last night and I thought about all of the awards shows that we as writers and artists’ watch throughout the years and all of the acceptance speeches that we hear.  It is extremely rare not to hear an actress, actor, writer, director, singer, songwriter, or visual artists’ (graphic or otherwise) thank their parents for allowing them to be who they are and for not only encouraging their gifts but for also enhancing it by being supportive of that talent.  

I started thinking about the children whose gifts and talents are not acknowledged, let alone encouraged by their parents.  All of the gifts and blessings for the world that are not being realized because there is no one there to tell them that it’s okay to dream and dream big.  I was one of those children.  

When I watch those awards shows I can’t help but to think of whether I could’ve been one of those artists accepting an award for their brilliant talents if only I had a mother that encouraged or enhanced my gifts, or at the very least, acknowledged that I had any.  I know that I’ve mentioned here before that my mother was (to put it in nice terms) not very nurturing.  She never really believed in me and to this day it still hurts.  

I do feel that when she heard me singing around the house and heard other people who didn’t have to placate me tell her that I was actually good at it, that she perhaps could have invested in some voice lessons, or piano lessons for me.  Maybe when I wrote the class poem for my eighth grade graduation and my teachers all told my her that she had a very gifted writer on her hands, she could have put me in writing workshops that they had for children (and they had them, I checked).  Or maybe when I sent a poem to a songwriting contest and received a letter saying that they wanted to turn my poem into a song, however, they needed to deal with my mother contractually (because I was still a minor), she could’ve done what she needed to do as my mother to make it into a reality.  She could have actually invested in my gifts when I was younger but she didn’t.  

While I know that I can not jet off back into time and change what never was, I am left to constantly wonder what could have been.  Most days I don’t dwell on it.  But on nights like last night when I see people accepting their awards and whose parents clearly believed in them enough for them to get where they are now, I get a little resentful (as much as I hate to admit that) towards my mother.  

But that is when I just turn that resentfulness into a persistent desire to make sure that I am different with my daughter.  I want to make sure that I encourage her creative talents, enhance her gifts by supporting and investing in them, and empower her to believe that she can do and be whatever it is that she dreams she can be.  I want her to know that I believe in her and that I know her future is worth the investment.    

If we as parents do not invest in our children’s future where are they supposed to get the idea that their future is worth investing in to begin with.  It starts with us and if we see brilliance in our children it is our job and our duty to help them develop and cultivate their gifts.  They are our future and we have to make investments, not just in the stock markets and the next big business venture (not that our own careers are not important as well), but we have to invest in them too because their future is worth it.  They are our future Grammy, Golden Globe, or even Oscar winners and we have to help them get there.  Don’t wait until tomorrow to make an investment in your child’s future, do it today!       

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress