Tag: Self Care

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Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself

November 8, 2021 jcladyluv

It is the beginning of week 2 of NaNoWriMo and I just wanted to take some time to remind all of those participating to make sure that you are taking some time for self care. I was reminded from a fellow writer that self-care should not be something that we put on a reward system but rather something that is built in to our normal regular routine. You could take an hour or so every day to just do something for you that doesn’t involve exerting your creative energy. Or you could do something more like what I do and take an entire day each week (Sunday) to just relax, watch TV, read, whatever does not expel more creative energy, but instead refills that well.

Writing is something can take a lot of mental energy out of you (contrary to what some non-writers think) and it is not something that is easy or for the faint of heart. No matter what you have decided to do as your project for NaNoWriMo, whether a full length novel, a few short stories, or some scripts for a screenplay or a stage play, make sure that you don’t take for granted your physical health as well as your mental health.

Also, lean on your writer friends and your writing community. Whether you have a writer’s group you go to in person (if you’re back to that now) or over on YouTube in the AuthorTube community where there are hundreds, possibly even thousands of other writers going through the same things that you are with your project, there are people in your corner. I hope that you have a good week 2 of NaNo and take some time for you!

Until next time… #BeMotivated #BeDiligent #BeMindful

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

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Making Necessary Investments in Yourself IS NOT SELFISH

May 25, 2020 jcladyluv

I was thinking about investments the other day. Not just the investments that we make in other things but also the investments that we make in ourselves or rather the investments that we are resistant to make in ourselves for multiple reasons. I have an extremely hard time doing things that are just for me or that are even for my business related stuff. I always feel guilty, like I should be buying something for my daughter rather than buying myself anything, never mind that my daughter has just about everything she already needs either by me or by her grandmother.

For seventeen years of her life I have had to sacrifice and put things aside for myself because she needed more than I did. I’m not saying that as a complaint either because that comes with being a mother, especially being a single mother. However there comes a time when you do have to put yourself first and that is actually still for the benefit of my daughter. Number one, because if I don’t take care of myself then I can’t effectively take care of her and number two because I want her to learn for the future that taking care of her is not a bad thing. Not only that it’s not a bad thing, but that it is a necessary thing for mental sanity.

I struggled for at least three whole days (it may have been more honestly) last week about buying three items that I needed for my writing office and my blossoming YouTube channel. Things that can inevitably help to grow my business even more. I had to actually seek some counsel from two of my closest friends who understood why I was struggling with this purchase. I had been blessed recently and things are starting to turn around, slowly but surely, enough to the point where I was even able to consider making this particular investment, and I just didn’t want to misuse this blessing.

I also, once again, felt like perhaps I should be buying my daughter something and not something for myself (even though she’s not really going anywhere right now because—quarantine). My two friends, my spiritual consultants if you will (lol) had to convince me that I had nothing to feel guilty about. They also made the very valid point that it was nothing wrong with making an investment in me and in my business which will ultimately make life better for my daughter and me. I finally made the purchase and I am happy about it and I feel good about the growth in my business it will inevitably foster. It just baffles me why I was struggling so much with this.

How do you deal with these feelings of guilt when it comes to doing something that is just for you? What do you do to push through those feelings? For me it was having my two friends give me that nudge and make me see what I for some reason couldn’t see on my own. That God gave me this particular blessing so that I can better myself and better my circumstances. He enabled me to be able to reposition myself so that I can get even more equipped for the purpose that he has for the next phase in my life. However, if I would have talked myself out of making this investment than I would have altered the course for which God was setting me on. Don’t talk yourself out of your purpose! Until next time… #BeOpen #BeMindful #BeWilling

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

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Time That Is Not Our Own

January 6, 2020 jcladyluv

It’s a brand New Year, in a brand new decade and I don’t know about you guys but I have no more time to waste. I’ve been thinking a lot about the time that we spend doing things that do not lend themselves to the purpose that we are placed on this earth for, whatever that purpose may be for you. We let our presumed obligations and even our loving hearts guilt us into giving time to things that will not eventually bear fruit and often leaves us with unfinished goals.

I use to believe that to think of myself first would be completely selfish and just not being a good servant of God and the purpose that he has for me. However, in having a recent conversation with a friend of mine, Ms. L., I remembered something very important. She reminded me that I am God’s child too. I mean it’s not that I don’t know that already but sometimes I forget that focusing on me doesn’t mean that I suddenly don’t care about others. Oftentimes we are more worried about tending to someone else’s needs (especially if you have children) and having compassion for what other people might want that we forget about what might be best for us.

When it comes to following our dreams and living out our purpose, we tend to put time into things, and often people, who take us away from what it is we are supposed to be focused on. We feel like we owe them that time, our time, when in reality, we don’t owe anyone else our time. In fact our time is not even ours to give away. The time that we have here on this earth is God’s time, in which he is entrusting us to accomplish certain goals and tasks, at certain intervals of our lives, for the betterment of an end result that is not even for us to see.

This is in no way me saying that other people don’t matter. In fact it is quite the opposite. Sometimes what we are supposed to be spending our time on will eventually better the lives of someone else who needs it. However, if we are not in the right place in our journey, at the precise time that we were designated to get there, then we will have missed that opportunity to be the blessing in someone else’s life that we were supposed to be, all because we devoted time to something else that was not even our mission to begin with.

We shouldn’t be made to feel guilty if we can not devote time to things or people the way that we might have been able to when we weren’t sure what our purpose was. Time is precious and it’s not promised to anyone and we have to be careful with what we do with it because there are important things that need to be done while we are still here to do them. The time that you have been given is the time that God has given you in order to do with it what he wants you to do with it. We don’t owe that time to anyone else. So this year, let’s start placing the focus back on ourselves and let’s not waste anymore time that isn’t ours to waste in the first place. Until next time… #BeFocused #BeMindful #BeProductive

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

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Writers and Self-Care (A Preptober Post)

October 16, 2019 jcladyluv

During NaNoWriMo (that’s National Novel Writing Month in case you’ve been living under a rock lol) writers tend to kick it into overdrive and get so lost in their story that they start to forget to do some of the simplest and most basic things. We tend to start to neglect ourselves for the sake of the art. So this NaNoWriMo

1) Don’t forget your hygiene – I know that this sounds obvious, but how many of you writers get so immersed in your story that you look up at the clock and suddenly the whole day could be gone. There are some writers who even get so engulfed in their characters and the story that they forget to eat and just work straight through the day without taking any kind of break. On one hand if you are that writer I almost want to congratulate you because that’s a lot of writing but on the other hand it’s not good to neglect things like showering and brushing your teeth and doing your basic daily maintenance. The story will be there if you step away for a minute.

2) Remember to eat – As I mentioned in the above tip, forgetting to eat is a common thing that people do when they become engrossed in their story. This is not healthy for you or your writing. How clear is your mind in terms of creating story and developing characters if you are not nourishing your body properly?

3) Take a break when you start to feel stalled – There will inevitably come a time that you will find yourself stuck and at some kind of standstill (and if not I would really like to know your secret). You will stare at the page or computer screen and find yourself rereading over the last few lines or scenes that you’ve written and end up in a place where you may not know where to go from there. The urge to press on and try to write anyway is strong and I know that this is what a lot of writers tell you to do, to keep going and work through it. That method does not work all the time and it may not work for everyone and that is when you just need to push your chair away from the desk and computer, get up, and take a break from your project. Go take a walk, go sit in the park and take in your surroundings, sit in a coffee shop or bookstore and listen to your surroundings (and the conversations taking place around you lol). You never know what could jog your creativity back into place!

4) Keep your health in tact – NaNoWriMo is not the time to abandon your healthy habits. If you consistently workout, do not use NaNoWriMo as an excuse to ‘take a break’ from the gym (I speak from experience, trust me). This is not a good idea, in fact it is a terrible idea because if your body is used to feeling a certain way from the continuity of working out then you will only be confusing your brain by the drastic shift. Working out triggers the endorphins in your brain in a way that nothing else can (not even coffee, as much as it pains me to say that) and if anything it will actually help you in your story writing and in achieving your writing goal for the month of November. Now if you have to change your time around then do that!

5) Read – This one is simple. Stephen King has said thousands of times and I’m sure many other writers have said it as well, and it’s because it’s true. You CAN NOT be a good writer if you are not first a good reader. To write well you must read A LOT. When I say read, I don’t just mean the genre that you are writing in either. Read a little of everything. Broaden your scope of the things that you read because if you do it will definitely broaden the scope of your writing. So READ! Enough said.

6) Don’t forget to stay connected – I know it’s kind of against the grain for NaNoWriMo and coming from a person like myself who likes to stay to myself for the most part it will sound strange but don’t distance yourself too much during NaNoWriMo. Writing is a solitary act (although it doesn’t have to be) for sure but remaining connected to people and remaining in tune with the people and things going on around you could also be critical to keeping your writing fresh and interesting.

7) Sleep is important – Lastly, but absolutely one of the most important things on this list, is sleep. If you are sleep-deprived your brain can’t come up with anything usable. That is not to say that you have to get a full eight hours of sleep (but if you can then go for it), I haven’t gotten anything over six hours at any one given time (unless I was sick) since back when I was in high school, but a decent amount of sleep is critical.

Okay so that’s it for today. I hope that all of you are prepping and planning your novels for NaNoWriMo and that when November gets here you don’t forget to take care of yourself. Until next time…Happy Writing!!! #BeMindful #BeCaringtoYourself

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

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To Thine Own Self Be True

January 26, 2018January 26, 2018 jcladyluv

To Thine Own Self Be True 1

Let’s talk today about checking in with yourself! Sometimes in life things can get very crazy. You’re busy taking care of the kids, taking care of your significant others, you’re checking in with your friend’s needs, your tending to your business and making sure your customers are always satisfied, and if you have a day job then you’re making sure your boss is satisfied as well. While all of that is very important to maintain, all of that would get neglected if we forget to take care of ourselves.

It took a long time for me to learn this, to even learn how to love myself it took more than half of my life so I still struggle with making sure I’m good. I have to have conversations with myself at times to make sure I’m okay and that I’m happy and that I’m at peace. That doesn’t always mean that I have everything I want or even half of what I need. It just means that I have to make sure that no matter what crazy thing is going on, what things would normally stress me out, that I have to have peace within myself to be able to deal with everything going on around me.

What I am learning, the older I get is that even when you have the things you swear up and down that you need, if you don’t have happiness and peace within you that having those things means absolutely nothing. There’s nothing wrong with having alone time with yourself. Time to reflect on things, to do some reading, to do some writing, time to meditate and talk with God, time to take yourself out on a date and just be comfortable being with yourself. Every now and then you have to remember to have a conversation with yourself and to make sure that while you are trying to take care of everything and everyone else that you are also taking care of you.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

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