Tag: habits

Are We Creating the Right Habits to Accomplish Our Goals?

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I did a YouTube video last week talking about my process in between writing projects, well specifically, novels. It made me think about the different routines that we have for different phases in our lives that we get through and how varying those routines can be depending on which phase of the creative process we are in.  I have a routine for when I’m writing, albeit a routine that could use some fine tuning.  I have a routine for when I’m taking a creative break from things altogether. I have a routine for if I’m just conducting research for a particular project. Interestingly enough, as organized as it may seem to have all your bases covered no matter what stage of creativity you are in it can be counterproductive. Or maybe it’s just me that is starting to feel like having a different routine for everything is just a way to not have a concrete routine overall.

I’m currently reading (or rather listening to on audiobooks) Atomic Habits by James Clear and he talks a lot about creating systems that help you to achieve your overall goals but not relying so heavily in the goals. I haven’t gotten that far yet but so far his theory is that if you use the same system to achieve things then you can start to rely in your system that you set up and not necessarily the goals because inevitably following your system is going to get you to the goal anyway, just maybe not at the speed in which you have set up in your goals. What I understand so far is that creating habits that you can stick to and do instinctively without really thinking about them is more valuable then having these bullet points for goals that oftentimes seem unattainable and out of reach.

Now he wasn’t saying that you shouldn’t have goals at all anymore, but rather that you should have formed habits and ways of getting to those goals. For instance, I have a book that I’ve been trying to republish since last year and for one reason or another it is proving to be a longer process than I initially thought. But is that because my goals are off or because my habits in getting those goals accomplished are off? I should have a proven system that is going to allow me to produce more of what I need to do in order to get those goals tackled. I can have all the goals I want to have and they can be lofty or they can be relaxed but without the methods and a system put in place to actively get to that goal, then the habits have to be consistent.

What are your systems or habits for achieving what you want out of life? Are you practicing those habits consistently? Take some time to think about whether you are setting goals just to set goals or if you are actually taking steps and forming habits that will help you fully achieve those goals. Having goals to strive for are great. Having routines to get through your different creative phases is wonderful. But having habits formed and being consistent in keeping up those habits is what will get us to the point where we can say we accomplished those goals.

Until next time… #BeMindful #BeProductive #BeConsistent

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

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Why Do Old Habits Have to Die?

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Wouldn’t it be really nice if we could just balance out all of our habits to work all in one accord with one another? Or am I the only one who, when I further develop good consistent habits in one area other areas begin to suffer? A couple of years ago I had been vigorously working out, consistently and faithfully, and I had been on and off with the habit but around that time I had finally gotten my shit together health wise. I cut out most of the unhealthy foods; I don’t really eat a lot in terms of quantity but I had gotten really good at keeping my diet on track; I even got to the point where it just felt wrong to not go to the gym and work out. But you know what wasn’t as consistent as I wanted it to be then? My writing!

Cut to a couple of years and two car accidents later (one in which I was hit walking across the street by a truck) and my working out has obviously grown stagnant again and my diet, well we’re not even going to get on that (I mean I still eat mostly health but I’ve snuck a lot of the junk snack food back in somehow). I can’t workout as hard as I used to and definitely not everyday like I used to because of the physical issues that stem from the accidents that I keep messing up my recovery from because I’m hard headed and I tend to try to exercise as hard as I used to and then I re-injure myself which delays the healing. It’s frustrating as hell and I was at least going to the gym to do some strength training but then the world shut down and even though the gyms have opened up again I personally don’t feel comfortable going back right now until they get a better handle on COVID.

That said, my writing habit has never been better (well not since I was a college student anyway) and I am continually developing my writing routine to work better and better and trying different methods to determine if there’s routines that work even better for me. Although I have not found a solid writing routine that I can use day after day, I have still been extremely productive and I am absolutely loving the work that I have been able to get accomplished and it’s been wonderful. But again, when one habit is strengthened the other one (working out) seems to fall by the wayside.

Is there some secret to balancing everything so that it all works together? If there is I want to know because it frustrates me to no end to struggle in something so much, finally hit my stride, and then get the other thing I’m struggling in on track only to fall off track with the first thing. I suppose in this case my physical limitations have played a part in my falling off track with the workout but the perfectionist in me just says I need to suck it up and just push harder anyway (until I’m exercising and then my knee or my back will quickly let me know that I’m doing too much).

I suppose that just means that the area that I really need to work on most is the one in which I realize that I am not Superwoman and I can’t do it all and that I can’t just ignore what my body tells me not to do. I suppose balance is all in the hands of the producer (lol). Well that is my Monday rant and I really would like to know what you guys do to find balance in your life with the things that you love to do? Until next time… #BeProductive #BeMotivating #BeInspiring

 

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

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I Choose Faith Over Worry

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For as long as I can remember I have always been a worrier. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment in time or the day in which I went from a child without a care in the world to one who, even if I didn’t know the word to describe the feeling at the time, filled up on the inside with the worry that I innately carried with me into my adulthood. It could’ve been something I had seen or witnessed and buried in my subconscious so I can not now remember, or it could be one of the many times that I had worried if I was going to get hit by my mother simply for existing that day. Whatever moment it was that turned me into a person who would carry worry into my everyday habits, the habitual nature had been developed long before I knew how the power of Faith truly worked.

I recently read an article written by a friend that revisited the popular children’s Sunday school song In His Hands. The song tells us that God has the whole world in his hand, meaning every last one of us can rest in the palm of his hands. Every battle we face, every test that we fail, every victory that we win, all rest in his hands. Now as a child I did not understand the true meaning and power behind the words in that song but having lived a little and experienced a lot I get more than ever the meaning behind those words.

I have certainly been tested this last year and the funny thing to me is that even in this extremely difficult time that I am having I have never had more Faith in God and his power than I do right at this very moment. I say it’s funny because as I pointed out earlier, I am a worrier by nature and have been since I was a child so I literally worry about nearly everything. Now I’m not saying that my nature of worry has completely gone away because I’m still human, but my faith is unwavering and ever strengthening.

No matter what we face in this world, whatever figurative rocks are being thrown at you, worrying about it is not going to change the outcome. Even if we fall flat on our faces, we are still falling into the loving hands of God’s protection. We are still going to be nurtured by his unconditional love and he will still see us through whatever the battle is that we are being tested by. Not only will he see us through it but he will make us stronger for having fought that battle.

Sometimes I know that it would be nice to be able to see what the outcome is going to be, maybe get a little hint that everything will be okay, but as someone very wise recently told me, it’s not for me to see. God’s got me and that is essentially all that I really need to know. So when you feel antsy and you start to feel that worry creep up inside of you and you start to get impatient with the not knowing where things are headed, just keep in mind that God’s got you and no matter what you’re in HIS hands. Until next time… #BeinFaith #BeEmpowred

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

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The Writer’s Myth I Love to Ignore

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Every writer has there own methods and ways of doing things. They have their rituals and their habits (sometimes bad ones) and strategies that work for them. Typically writers go by very broad rules of the trade that are spread across the masses and for the most part I will say there is truth to those habits and rituals and ways of doing things. However, there is this one myth, this very big no-no that writers, or any creative type really, aren’t supposed to be doing a lot of if they actually want to get any substantial and quality work done. Watch lots of TV.

For years I have been trying to find some justification and arguably some back up to my inherent belief that watching a lot of television as a creative (in particular a writer) does more good than harm and I think I have finally found it. I stumbled upon a blog post the other day (okay it wasn’t a stumble, I regularly follow her blog) in which the blogger acknowledged that while her love of binge watching Netflix has quite possibly halted work on several writing projects, it also added value and perhaps even a bit more passion into the projects that she was able to complete.

Now I do not have Netflix (Yes I know, I’m about the only person left in the world who has no desire to have a Netflix account), however, I do have an extreme love of watching television. I have my regular nightly shows, mostly police procedurals or any drama with a bit of mystery to it (like Law & Order SVU, Chicago PD, or Criminal Minds to name a few), and I also have my hospital dramas (Grey’s Anatomy and Chicago Med, and I’ll throw Chicago Fire in here too because I don’t know where else it would fit). I even like my political dramas (Scandal, Madam Secretary), and of course the all important Soap Operas (Young & the Restless and Bold & the Beautiful). Also I like my comedies (Big Bang Theory, etc) my history channel shows, and my cooking shows… Okay you get the picture, I have an interest in pretty much every aspect of television and that’s not including my love of movies. It goes without saying that I watch a large amount of TV and I have to have the TV on to go to sleep at night too (I need the noise).

To my point, I have been told countless times that people in writing, or any creative avenue really, are more productive when they watch less television. I have balked at this theory ever since I’ve heard it because it just doesn’t make sense to me, or rather for me. I mean I know that there are quite a few largely successful people who write for television and own television companies and don’t watch TV so I know that it clearly works for some people but it baffles me how you don’t watch the very medium you create for. Just as baffling to me is a writer who doesn’t read books (and believe it or not there are some) because how can you create for an audience when you don’t partake in what you are in fact producing.

Needless to say, I am the opposite and perhaps the exception because I don’t focus very well when I don’t have something on my television, and it can’t just be anything, it has to be something that inspires me when I’m writing (and yes I actually write while I watch TV—so see I’m still being productive during my TV time) or even just something that inspires a new character, or a new subject I want to write about. Television doesn’t just inspire me, it also calms me, and it is my relaxing place for when I’m stressed and worried and need to just calm down or if I’m just feeling really anxious or depressed and I need to laugh. In all actuality, sitting in silence, without the TV will probably lead to a less productive day for me because silence drives me a little crazy and I don’t concentrate very well in it, thus leading to lack of productivity.

So if you have a method that’s not supposed to work for you as a writer but somehow it works, just go with it. I know it may seem to not make sense to anyone else doing what you do, and it may just go against all of the rules of the trade but aren’t rules sometimes meant to be bent a little. At least bent to work just the right way, and in your favor. The wonderful thing about being a writer or any creative is that your out of the box thinking can lead you down a path you never saw coming, and in the best most possible ways! So go forth and buck the trends and laugh in the face of the myths!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

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No Risk = No Reward

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Children are fearless and their tenacity has no boundaries. It’s wonderful and exciting to watch a child get an idea for something and because they have absolutely no fear and no worries about rejection they go for any and everything. I wonder at what age we lose that fearless, tenacious spirit. Adults are far less likely to try new things, unlike children, because all of the fear seeps in. They wonder, what if I get hurt? What if it doesn’t work? What if someone else does this better than me? What if no one gets it? What if no one accepts it? Children miraculously don’t worry about such things. They just go for it! If it fails they simply get back up and try again as if the failure never happened to begin with. Why do we lose that as we get older?

In my more recent journey of becoming more spiritually grounded I knew that one of the things that I needed to work on within myself and that needed to be changed was my many different degrees of fear. I have a lot of defense mechanisms that have become sort of a crutch for me. One particularly bad one that I’ve been trying to break is one where I play out all of the worst case scenarios in my head when thinking about attempting something new or, in my case as a writer, submitting something. And while it is good to be realistic about the good and bad of something so that you can be prepared for either outcome, in my case dwelling on the possible negative outcomes have somehow held me back from even attempting things at all. It wasn’t intentional but I would find ways to talk myself out of doing something or submitting something because I had convinced myself that it was never going to be accepted anyway so why bother.

I have no idea when it happened? When I began to think about all of what made me afraid of going after the dreams I have instead of the wonderful things that can come from achieving them. I wasn’t always so fearful and I used to like taking risks but perhaps my risks were met with too many rejections and not enough rewards. But that’s life isn’t it. Looking back on all of the “failures” I have had in attempting my dreams I can ascertain the many lessons that came out of them. However, I am also realizing that some of the more recent “failures” I have had happened, not because of the risks that didn’t pan out, but rather because of the risks that I was too afraid to take to begin with.

A lot of times we don’t try new things because we can’t predict the outcome. We don’t want to fail so we think that it’s better to never actually try. Somehow it is more appealing to not put ourselves out there because then it means that we can’t get hurt, our ideas can’t get rejected, and no one can tell us that what we’ve poured our hearts into is somehow not good enough. However, that also means that our ideas don’t get heard at all and that what we have effectively poured our hearts into just sits around never being seen by anyone. If we never leave the place that feels comfortable for us, the place that’s safe for us then we miss out on so many things and we will never truly succeed. At that point we would simply be living in our fears instead of living up to our dreams. So, while our comfort zones may make us feel protected we can’t stay there if expect to get to where it is we are destined to end up.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

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