Tag: Doubt

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Getting My Creative House In Order

September 18, 2014 jcladyluv

The space that you have to create in is very important to a writer, or to an artists’ in general. Sure it is said and has been proven that a writer can pretty much write anywhere, whether it’s just in their head while their driving around, or at a coffee shop in the hustle and bustle of everyday strangers. However, the space that a writer has at home or at wherever they choose to call their office, I’ve come to realize is incredibly important.

Looking over at the corner of my room that is designated as my office I am shocked at how out of order I have let it get. There are so many initiatives that I was supposed to take to spark my creativity on a daily, or at least regular basis but my working are does not depict that. My desk is cluttered, far more than I would like it to be, and my bulletin board contains lists of things to get done that just simply haven’t even been halfway accomplished. My vision board that I was supposed to have created by now, well the items to go on the vision board are scattered across my desk somewhere so clear it’s not displayed as it should be. Maybe that is why I am struggling with keeping my eye on the vision that I have and not veering off into the land of self-doubt.

You know how people get when it comes to Spring cleaning and emptying out their closets and getting their house in shape. Well that is how I feel when Fall rolls around about my writing space. I think that I need to take some time in this month of getting back to reigniting my creativity and refresh my creative space. I think that this is definitely something that I have to tackle during this month in order to truly get my creativity going strong again.

If your mind is already cluttered with ideas then there isn’t really a benefit to having a cluttered space in which you are supposed to create in. In a career such as being a writer where ideas and projects can be all over the place, you need something about your creative process to be focused and organized. So this weekend that is going to be one of the many things that I try to put into perspective. I am feeling the surge of creativity flow again, stronger than it has been in recent months, and I want to guard this surge with everything.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

The Comfort Zone is Not the Place to Be

September 11, 2014 jcladyluv

In my last post I wrote about realizing once and for all that I have to let go of this fear that is paralyzing me. It got me thinking about how hard it is going to be to just shut down all of my fears. I know it’s not something that can happen overnight. I’ve had this fear lying inside me for so long whether it was fear of not succeeding or fear of actually being successful. I’ve been stuck in this comfort zone, which is odd that they call it that because it’s not actually comfortable to be stuck.

It’s not that I like how things are right now, or the lack of progress that I am seeing in my business. But there is a sense of comfort in already knowing how things are going to go. But I don’t want to live in the land of comfort anymore. I want to push the envelope and challenge myself. I don’t want things to be hard but I don’t want things to be completely easy either because I want to set higher bars for myself and rejoice when I meet them.

Comfort-ability is great for a moment but it will never sustain you on your journey to your dreams. There needs to be a shift in my life and I have to commit to this shift, this change and stay on track. I keep getting off the path because I see repeated stops to the land of comfort and on the surface it’s appealing.

In the comfort zone there are no high expectations to be met anymore. You’ve reached your current maximum potential and while it is a celebrated thing to do so, it also stirs a bit of inner conflict. You’ve reached the initial bar you set for your goals so do you maintain those particular goals and unintentionally become stagnant or do you see that bar, raise it higher once you’ve reached it, and push through until you reach the next level of your journey. I think that I inadvertently chose to stay stagnant but it most certainly was never my intention to.

I know that to reach my very big dreams that there are a lot of little goals that have to get accomplished along the way. I also realize that I can’t let fear of change whether it’s good or bad, stop me from moving forward and making progress. Change requires some manner of discomfort because you are going into the unknown. However, a change in direction could be more rewarding than staying on the road you’re most comfortable on. Being comfortable doesn’t get you anywhere close to you destination. It can only really hold you in place as your dream moves further away.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Trapped Inside My Own Head

August 28, 2014 jcladyluv

Knowing is not always half the battle. I know that’s the saying that people like to quote when people admit their flaws and faults. As if to provide comfort and some optimism in the fact that somehow you knowing where you fall short at should propel you into making choices that will progress you as you move forward. Generally I believe that if you don’t know or admit the problem or the flaw that you can’t fix it, however, there are instances where just knowing where you fall short at doesn’t actually help you move forward.

I can admit that I am a person that may at times be too tapped into my emotions, so much so that when I screw up an opportunity or I get down about things not going the direction I want or think they should be I completely shut down creatively. That is actually one of my major flaws that I recognize about myself. I get depressed too quickly when things go in the wrong direction and it takes me far too long to come out of that depression and during the time that I am depressed, quite frankly, I don’t feel creative and I don’t feel much like writing. It’s pretty much the opposite of the typical stereotype of writers, that depression makes writers write masterpieces. I know this about me and I know that it’s something that I need to correct but I’m not sure how.

It’s completely frustrating because I’m in this funk and I can feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into it but on the flip side of that there are all of these ideas that I have and these plans that I want to get accomplished and when it comes down to it, I simply can’t get it done. I always thought that writer’s block was the worst thing that a writer could go through but it’s so much more frustrating to not be blocked as far as ideas and material but yet still not be able to produce anything.

I refuse to give up but it’s tough to see other writers around me coming up with beautiful pieces of work and being successful at their craft and meanwhile I’m too much in an emotional funk to actually produce anything. I want out of this phase but I don’t know how to get out. I don’t know how to just set aside my emotional issues and take these ideas I have building up in my head and just put them on paper. I need to figure this out or else all of my opportunities are just going to slip right through my fingers and I won’t have anyone else to blame but myself.

So if anyone who reads my blog has any suggestions on how I can pull myself out of this funk, this gloomy phase and get out of my own head to finish these projects that I really need to get done, don’t hesitate to suggest something. Everyone needs help at times and oftentimes it’s the help from people who don’t know you personally that could make all the difference. I don’t want to waste this purpose that God has given me so how do I get out of my own head?

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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It’s All in the Small Signs We Sometimes Ignore

August 19, 2014 jcladyluv

So I just did my very first radio interview this morning for none other than Cyrus Webb of Conversations Live and I have to admit that I was nervous to do it. I have never been big on public speaking which is ironic since I have such a huge message that I want to share with the world. I know that it is something that I must get used to but today I was visibly (well to myself because there was no one else in the room) nervous. I could literally feel my heart racing because I am always worried I won’t say the right things and that I won’t express the Write 2 Be message fully and eloquently. Cyrus immediately made me feel at ease and it was extremely exciting to do this radio interview with him and I was so honored.

In doing the interview it not only allowed me to do something that I was afraid of (speaking publically) but it also showed me that fear does not have to win and that I can conquer my fears, even if only one fear at a time. It is important to remember that fear is okay. Anyone who says that they don’t have any fears is probably not aware of theirs or in denial. The important thing is to conquer those fears and not just give into them. I have many things I am afraid of and as I expressed in my interview this morning one of my biggest fears used to be of being myself. Now of course in recent years I have gradually gotten over that and have learned to be okay with being different and unique but I won’t lie and say that there aren’t still moments when I doubt myself.

Talking to Cyrus this morning also made me realize just how important the work that I am doing with my brand is. It made me realize just how many people are still nervous and afraid to be themselves and who still feel the need to apologize for being who they are and that is something that I most certainly feel the need to work on changing. There is not one person in this world who should have to ever apologize for being who they are and if people realized that the world would be a much kinder, accepting, and peaceful place. God made us who we are and who we will eventually become as we grow and there should never be any shame in that nor should we try and change that.

If we open up to one another and have more in depth conversations with the people around us, the people who we know are struggling with who they are, the people who haven’t even begun to discover themselves yet because they are trying so hard to be someone else, they wouldn’t feel so alone and lost. My interview this morning reinforced just how important my message is and how I am the right person for this message. I have never been more clear than I am today at what God’s purpose is for me and this interview, what it did for me, was not only gave me a little extra boost of confidence that I needed, but it also felt like a sign from God saying to me that I was on the right path and not to worry. A sign that I will not ignore and will not take for granted.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Success Doesn’t Come Early for Everyone…And Sometimes That’s a Good Thing

August 1, 2014 jcladyluv

I know I’m not the only person who, growing up, didn’t look at some of these child TV and music stars and think to themselves “that could or should be me” or “I’m just as good as them if not better”. Most children will say it to themselves and ten minutes later not even give it a second thought. However, if you were an artistic child, a creative type, someone who always aimed to color outside the lines simply because the lines limited the creation that you dreamt up in your mind, then you probably really meant it when you thought it. I know that I did.

I had visions of being a singer by the time I was in my early twenties (and that was at the latest) and a New York Times Best Selling Author at least by the time I turned twenty-five. With each passing year that my dream slipped by me I grew more and more doubtful of the talents that not only I thought I had but that mostly everyone around me had seen. I would look at the lives of these child stars being played out in the media for all the world to see and think I should be traveling from this place to that place and singing on this stage and that one, doing countless television appearances for my latest novel on the NY Times list and having my pick of any place I wanted to live without any worries.

Now don’t get me wrong, I was never jealous. I am always happy when I see someone succeeding (well someone deserving anyway—hey I’m not a saint and yes I do think that some do not deserve the success they have), I just happen to have always thought I should be one of them. And even when I saw child stars blowing it, royally, getting arrested, getting hooked on drugs, having issues with alcoholism, going bankrupt and just throwing away all of their money on such frivolous things, I would think they just don’t know how to appreciate what they have.

But of course you cannot be envious of everyone’s life because you don’t know what it’s like to walk in their shoes and be under the pressure that they are and to literally be under a microscope for everyone to see your mistakes. A lot of them don’t make it, they wash out, and they give up before they even hit thirty and then the public is left to wonder “where are they now”. When I think about it in those terms, I have to wonder if maybe God knew that that life was not meant for me to have at such that young of an age.

Obviously I can’t say with an absolute certainty that I wouldn’t have been humble enough to appreciate that kind of life at that early of an age but looking back, with my childhood, I definitely think that I would have had more access to some coping mechanisms that I would have more than gladly (at that time anyway) taken advantage of. I can’t say that I would have known how to handle the life I say I wanted at that time. I was very starved for things around that young age and into my twenties because at that time I hadn’t learned how to love myself yet and I thought things were going to heal what was wrong on the inside so that is probably where my money would have went. And honestly, as suicidal as I was during that time period I can’t say that I would even still be here anymore if I had gotten the lifestyle that I thought I wanted at that time.

I wasn’t humble enough to appreciate those things at that stage of my life. I think God knew exactly what he was doing and he knew that I had to heal the inside of me first before I could truly appreciate a lifestyle that was on the next level. I think that when you get to live that kind of life at such a young age and that is all that you know, then you don’t know or appreciate what it is to be without it. Success doesn’t last for everyone and when I think of all of those that have succeeded in the ways that I plan to succeed (Russell Simmons, Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, Bill Gates, etc.) then I think about the fact that none of them attained success early on. They all had a humbling life before they achieved all of the success that they have now. That humble life allows them to appreciate the things and abilities that they have even more because they know what it’s like not to have them.

I think those who attained success without any effort, without any failures are actually at a disadvantage because they don’t know how to handle having nothing. They don’t know what failure feels like to appreciate the feeling of succeeding. Oftentimes we tend to want to rush into things because we see what we want to see. The outcome that we perceive may be one that is unrealistic and possibly not even going to be what is in our best interest but our perception can be clouded. I think that we sometimes need the experience of many failures to appreciate the reward that is coming down the line. Our mistakes are what breeds the foundation for our successes and when we learn to not just embrace them but to be proud of them and celebrate them then we will be even more prepared for the successes in life that we say we want.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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I Sometimes Struggle to Believe in the Potential God Sees in Me

July 28, 2014 jcladyluv

For the most part I am typically an optimistic person. I have plenty of setbacks that make me doubtful sometimes but I try to remain dedicated and stick to this path because I feel deep down that it is the right one that God wants me on to reach my destined purpose. However, that is not to say that I don’t have moments (a lot more of them than I care to admit) where I question whether I am letting God down.

I know that there are things that I should be doing that I don’t always manage to get done, things that would go a long way in the efforts to get to where I’m trying to go. I am guilty of wasting time that I don’t really have to waste. I am guilty of getting frustrated to the point of just wanting to give up and be just plain lazy. I am guilty of feeling so overwhelmed with all of the things that I want to do that I convince myself that it’s just too much and it can’t be done so why even bother trying. I tell myself a lot of things that eventually lead me to talking myself out of trying. I let the fear of not succeeding at what I want cause me to do the very thing that I don’t want to do which is give up.

I’m not in that mindset of giving up right now but I am starting to feel that sense of being overwhelmed with all of the things that it is that I want to do and all of the plans that I have to get accomplished and the fear that I may not achieve it. I have this list, this very long list, of life goals, of things that I want my company to achieve. I have a purpose for my Write 2 Be brand and in my mind I see it so clearly. I can even map out on paper (although not quite as concise as it forms in my brain) exactly the direction I want everything to go. I have even listed everything, all the steps, I need to go through to get it at least going in the direction I want it to go. Then the reality sets in.

The reality that my dreams may be just a little too big and that with all that needs to be done, I may be out of my depth here. The reality that I might have somehow set the bar for myself just a bit too high, and then the fear that I can’t reach my own bar that I set. The reality that with every second that I am sleep there is something that could be getting done. The reality that I cannot physically go on absolutely no sleep which is probably what it would take for me to achieve ALL that it is I am setting out to do. Then I start to feel that overwhelming sense of failure.

I start to feel like I am not only letting God down, but my daughter, and of course myself. I place a lot of stock in my potential but what happens if I don’t live up to that. What happens if I can’t live up to what God’s purpose for my life is? What if I am simply not good enough? These are the kinds of things that run through my mind, daily, and almost every minute of the day, and I am sure (at least I hope) that I am not the only one who has felt this way. I feel like I have to acknowledge those fears within myself or else they will never go away.

While I know that they will never go away completely, I have to believe that the sense or the urge to give up will fade away from the forefront of my mind. I have to believe that I will one of these days just wake up and look in the mirror and say “I get it God, I get what you see in me and I can do this because you said I could”. While I am not quite all the way there yet, I must say, I am miles away from how I used to feel about all of this. It’s a start and we all have to start somewhere. I hope that this week is as productive for you as I plan on it being for me and I hope that you will try to remember, as I will, that God’s purpose for you is nothing to be afraid of!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

What All Can Go Right

July 22, 2014 jcladyluv

I live in the land of worst case scenarios where I prepare for whatever there is that can possibly go wrong and for what I would need to do to fix things if they should go wrong. I don’t think that I am alone in doing this. I think that the world has grown so cynical that in planning for our futures in which we want to soar and fly, we brace ourselves for that harsh landing that quite frankly, often times never actually comes.

I mean sure we fall and we have bad breaks where things don’t quite go the way that we wanted them to. But in reality those are not actually the harsh landings that we are bracing ourselves for. I forget sometimes to prepare for the successes, to purposely plan for things to go right. I spend so much time being completely over prepared for the other shoe that’s definitely (in my mind anyway) going to drop, and for the rock bottom that I’m going to hit (and thankfully never truly have) someday soon if things don’t improve, and for everything that I have ever dreamed of achieving to float right by me as I watch someone else reach out and grab ahold of what was supposed to be my success. None of these things have ever happened. That’s not saying of course that they couldn’t still, but they haven’t.

I’ve been waiting all of this time for everything to go wrong instead of preparing and actually believing that everything could go right. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if I haven’t had my share of the bad breaks and the things that come crashing down around me but what I neglect to realize oftentimes is that about eight times out of ten everything that seemingly went wrong turned out to work out in a better way than I had imagined and planned for them to. I spent so much time thinking of all the negatives and forgot that even in a negative outcome, something positive can come from that. I need to stop always thinking about the walls that may crumble and start thinking that even if they do, what beautiful new direction can come from the wreckage.

There are beautiful things that can come out of even the most painful and disheartening situations. We just have to be open to them and prepare for what is good instead of bracing ourselves for what is bad. When we brace ourselves we are closing ourselves off and tightening up. We don’t have our arms and hands open and free to receive all the good that is coming our way. So start realizing what it is to truly let go. Open up and surrender to ALL that life has in store for you, the good, the bad, and yes, especially the unplanned. Sometimes the best moments in life cannot be planned out beforehand. Let go and let God!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

There Are No Other Options

June 25, 2014 jcladyluv

It’s a sad thing that there are some people in this world who only want to see you fail. They want to see you as someone you’re not so that they can justify wanting you to have nothing and no one. They will see you with a glimpse of something good, whether it be an innocent friendship or a direction for your life that they may not have, and they want to rip it away from you so that they can have the satisfaction of seeing you knocked down. I don’t understand these people. I don’t operate that way and I don’t understand the people that do.

I am not a person who is very open or trusting and it is true that I don’t have a lot of friends but that is because I’ve had a lot in the past and have been burned by so many that I would just rather not go through the trouble. I think that it is a better thing to have one or two really good friends rather than a whole lot of false ones. I am guarded, extremely guarded, but when I do let people in, then I am a very all in type of person no matter what the nature of the relationship, whether it is business, romantic, or just a friendship.

I also don’t share my dreams with just anyone either, because too many people won’t understand it and they will find ways to trivialize it, or to try and rationalize it and there just simply aren’t any. I am getting used to being the target for people, to people always taking my weaknesses and using them against me, to people taking the things I value the most and treasure deeply and basically demolishing them the best way that they can.

I think the more that people try to knock me down and the more times I have to keep pulling myself back up (and I admittedly stay down way longer than I should) the more I realize that I don’t have any other choice than to succeed at what it is that I am striving to do with my business and with my life in general. I am not only motivated by passion for what I want to do in my business but also by the people that desire to see that I never have it.

I refuse to give the people who want to see me down to nothing the satisfaction of seeing me fail. I just can’t let that be an option. So the only other option I have is to succeed. If that means that I have to be a hardened person who everyone abandons then so be it because when I get to where it is that I am going everyone who ever doubted me, who ever ridiculed me, who ever purposely tried to destroy me, and whoever abandoned me when I needed them the most, well they are going to be the ones who wished that they had held on for the ride. I will not give them the satisfaction. Failure is not an option.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Boxes on a Shelf

June 18, 2014June 18, 2014 jcladyluv

I was watching a Joel Osteen Sermon this past Sunday and as always his message was something that I could really relate to and that resonated with me right at that moment. He spoke about having faith in yourself and in your abilities enough to ask God for what he already said was yours. You know we pray for the things we want out of life and finagle our way around obstacles in order to achieve them. But I think that perhaps if we were more sure about the fact that those opportunities that we want and that we see for our future are already in God’s plan and that they are already ours to grab ahold of we wouldn’t worry so much while we are praying about whether or not they are going to come to pass.

Joel used a metaphor that our opportunities are like moments that are all in boxes, lined up on shelves, in this massive warehouse in heaven, just waiting for the people whose names are on those boxes to actually ask for them. It made me wonder just how big my box of opportunities would be because I know that I am one of those people that while I am praying for my opportunities and wishing that they would come true, I am also crossing my fingers to cover all my bases.

Crossing your fingers is not a sign of true faith, and neither is worrying while you are praying. It’s so funny because I have no trouble believing in other people’s dreams and in the fact that their opportunities will come to fruition but when it comes to mine, it’s like I let all of those demons of doubt cloud what I know in my heart. I don’t want to get to the end of my journey and see my opportunities sitting in these boxes on some shelf just waiting, unclaimed, and unused.

There’s so many other things that I am unsure of in this life but my purpose, my desire to change this world for the better with my message and through writing and other media avenues, that’s not something that I am unsure of. So while you are seeking your opportunities and praying for the doors of opportunity to be opened for you are you crossing your fingers or are you surrendering in faith? It makes a difference on whether or not the right doors will be open or not.

You can’t receive all of the blessings and opportunity that God has planned for you with your fingers crossed because then you are not fully prepared to receive them. So try having absolute faith that what is meant for your life, the opportunities and changes that you have been waiting for, will come to you. And when you have that absolute faith, that unshakable belief, then ask for ALL of what it is that you want. Not some, not just enough to get by, not just one door and then you’ll worry about the next door when you get to it, ask for it ALL. Aren’t you worth EVERYTHING it is that you want?

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310