Do We Always Have to Be “On” to Prove We Showed Up?

Last week was a rough week and I tried extremely hard not to show it. Now it was supposed to be a really exciting week in terms of my YouTube channel because I was doing a collaboration with one of the biggest AuthorTubers on there and it’s someone who has motivated me and inspired me through her own channel so that part was very exciting. And believe it or not it went well. But I had to mask a lot of pain that I was in to make it seem as though everything behind the scenes (for me anyway) was okay.

I woke up last Tuesday morning in excruciating stomach pain that is looking like it may be a hernia but that explanation for the pain wasn’t considered until near the end of the week and after the exciting collaboration happened. But I did what most of us creative entrepreneurs who are also moms have to do. I smiled my way through the pain and pretended everything was okay. The only way you would have known anything was wrong (at least until my first week of May vlog comes out later today) was if you happened to be close enough to me for me to confide in.

We often have to be “on” sometimes even when we don’t want to be. Even when we may be in pain or, for some, grieving, or depressed, or when you just plain old don’t feel like putting on a mask. If we want to succeed, if we want to get to a point where we can truly thrive, where we can enjoy what we’ve built and have the luxury of being able to say no if we want to, there are oftentimes pieces of ourselves that we have to sacrifice.

There are far too many instances where we find ourselves amplifying the performance we have to put on just so no one sees us struggling and my question is why. Why is it wrong, or weak to show when we are struggling. Why is it that we feel like we would burden someone else by telling them that we may not be okay, or that we need some help. It’s a question I think that we should all ask ourselves because I sure hope that I’m not someone that other people feel that have to put on a show for.

I just want to be a light, and some sort of inspiration and motivation for as many people as I can. I suppose that’s why I sometimes feel like I have to contain my struggles. I hate the thought of pulling anyone down or not being able to inspire someone. But sometimes I need a break from being “on” too and that’s okay. Striving as a creative entrepreneur should never mean having to put on a mask to hide our pain. I like to think of it in terms of a phrase that I used to hear in the church I grew up in. They used to always say that all were welcome to come as they are. When we come into any space, creative or other, no matter what we are struggling with, we should always feel as if we can be free to come as we are.

Until next time… #BeVulnerable #BeThoughtful #BePatient

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.facebook.com/jimmetta.carpenter

https://www.amazon.com/author/jccarpenter

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Are We the Mistakes We Make?


Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you.”

~Matthew 7: 1-3

I swore I was not going to write about this issue and yet here I am getting ready to do just that. We all know (unless you are living under a rock) about the slap heard around the world that happened at the Oscars roughly two weeks ago. Well, I’m not going to say that I believe that Will Smith was right for responding to a tasteless and crass joke about his wife’s medical condition in the manner in which he did, or even that Jada Pinkett-Smith needed to be protected in that way. What I will say is that if you read Will Smith’s book or know anything about his childhood then you can understand why HE felt that he needed to be protective in that way.

Violence is never the answer, and he could have, and should have, handled it differently. However, I will not sit here in judgment of this man who has had a 30 plus year career without nary a blemish and who has been beyond an extraordinary example to all who are watching, over the one time he dared to show that he is in fact a human being and that he does make mistakes just like the rest of us mere mortals. He made a mistake. He is aware of that mistake, and he has since apologized multiple times for said mistake. There is no time machine, and he can’t go back and erase the mistake he made so what more is it that people want him to do?

We cannot keep throwing people away because they display that they are human beings. We get so caught up in the idea of perfection and in us admiring people who have maybe reached the level in their lives that we are seeking to get to that we tend to put them on this unrealistic pedestal. We hold them up as a model (which is fine until you take it too far) of the dreams and levels of success that we strive for and then we act shocked when they make a mistake. It’s almost as if we somehow forgot that just because they are a celebrity or someone in a position much higher than us that they are also human beings just like the rest of us.

I don’t know anyone who has not made a mistake and honestly far worse mistakes than Will Smith made that night. I don’t think that any of us are in a position to judge another man (or woman) by their worst mistakes because Lord help us if we are judged by ours. We don’t (or we shouldn’t) just toss someone aside simply because they disappointed us. We should instead show that person some humility, show that person some grace, show that person some forgiveness and do for them what we want other people to do for us when we mess up. I mean even Jesus got angry and flipped over a few tables (Matthew 21: 12-13) and if Jesus can be imperfect than who are any of us to expect perfection from any ordinary or even extraordinary human being. Be careful who you are tossing aside and make sure that you can measure up to the judgment that you are casting onto them.

Until next time… #BeMindful #BeHumble #BeGracious

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.facebook.com/jimmetta.carpenter

https://www.amazon.com/author/jccarpenter

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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https://www.pinterest.com/jcladyluv/_saved/

https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Give Yourself Some Grace

The mind is a funny thing. Sometimes you can find yourself slip back into old habits and old ways of thinking without even realizing it. I try to maintain optimistic because my spirituality has been a way for me to be assured that everything is going to work out the way that it is supposed to in the end. However, lately I have heard myself sink back into my old ways of thinking and have found myself saying things like ‘I know that the other shoe is going to drop soon’, or ‘when it rains, it pours, or just yesterday I said ‘the Universe is working against me’.

Now instinctively I know and believe deep in my heart that God is going to make sure that I’m okay, even if things don’t go as I planned them to, or even remotely the way that I want them to. But my old anxiety and self doubt creep in and I realize I still have some work to do to get rid of that self-sabotaging nature. Without realizing it, I have been, once again, giving power to fear and doubt about what I am capable of achieving.

I think that it gets lost on some, those who don’t struggle with mental health issues or constant anxiety and overwhelming and crippling fear, just how hard it can be to stay in a positive mindset. I constantly get from people how positive I am and I don’t mind that at all but make no mistake, it is work to try and keep a positive frame of mind. Some days are astronomically harder than others and the good days can start to feel like they don’t happen often enough.

I’m writing this post today because I want people to give themselves grace, as I am trying to give myself some. Grace when you’re not feeling at your best. Grace to make the mistakes you need to make so that you can do it better the next time. Give yourselves grace to let yourself cry when you feel like it. Allow yourself some grace to just be honest when you’re not doing okay to be able to say so without any feelings of guilt. Give yourself grace to, on those days when things are just too overwhelming, simply do nothing but be.

Until next time… #BePatient #BeCourageous #BeKindToYourself

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.facebook.com/jimmetta.carpenter

https://www.amazon.com/author/jccarpenter

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

https://www.facebook.com/AuthorJCCarpenter

https://www.write2bematters.com

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv 

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

https://www.pinterest.com/jcladyluv/_saved/

https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

When Life Hands You Obstacles…

It’s always the moments when you think you’ve got a handle on everything and that you are just getting back on track when those curveballs get thrown at you. Sometimes it seems as if life can throw so many obstacles at you that it leaves your head spinning. By now you would think that I would be used to knowing that when things are going well the other shoe is probably about to drop.

I’m more geared to being optimistic these last several years and trying to find the positive in everything. I’ll be honest and say that it is a lot easier said than done at times to be positive when things feel so negative, but I always try to remember that it could always be worse (for so many others it is worse) and that it will get better as long as I don’t dwell in the messy, hurdles and keep moving forward.

The thing is that if you aren’t being hit with obstacles, odds are that you might be in that overly comfortable place where you will be content with what you weren’t able to get done. The thing about that place is that you won’t really be growing in your purpose and your gift. That’s the place that you don’t really want to be because the magic can never truly happen if you aren’t growing.

Growth is messy. Growth is uncomfortable. Growth is hard and grueling. When you’re in that growth period, I mean really in it, it doesn’t feel rewarding, it just feels challenging. Growth can be a constant test to see if you’re really ready to fulfill your dreams and your purpose. The question is are you going to remain in a place of simply being content or are you going to push yourself to grow further than even you thought was possible?

Until next time… #BeBold #BeFearless #BeUncomfortable

Jimmetta Carpenter

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.facebook.com/jimmetta.carpenter

https://www.amazon.com/author/jccarpenter

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

https://www.facebook.com/AuthorJCCarpenter

https://www.write2bematters.com

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv 

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

https://www.pinterest.com/jcladyluv/_saved/

https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Resetting Boundaries and Growing Past Your Comfort Zone in the New Year

It’s a brand New Year and with any luck it will be far better than the last two years. Now I’m not going to say that nothing good happened last year because after all, I published two books, and I started my online store.  Let’s just say that I had a place where I would be in mind for the end of 2021 and to say that I was far from that desired goal would be an understatement. But I digress.

This is not going to be a negative post (I know it did sound kind of negative but bear with me) but in order to know the things that we need to do to get further along the path to achieving our goals we have to first assess and evaluate where we may have gone wrong in the first place. So, I’m just being reflective of the fact that I could have done a bit more to get to my goal and noticing where I need to improve.

While we know that we can never be perfect in the things that we do (because there’s just no such thing) we can always consistently strive to be ever changing and evolve to different methods and ways of thinking that will work better for us. We don’t get anywhere if we don’t admit, at least to ourselves, that we have to be willing to get out of those comfort zones that we have settled into.

We have to set boundaries for ourselves obviously, but we have to be willing to push those boundaries as well when we see that it’s time to grow forward. Otherwise, we will stay stagnant, and our success will inevitably be limited to the parameters that we ourselves set. So, this year make sure that you are pushing forward instead of just spinning on a never-ending wheel that lands you back in the same place in which you started.

Until next time… #BeBold #BeFearless #BePersistent

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.amazon.com/author/jccarpenter

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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https://twitter.com/jcladyluv 

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note:  I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Your Attitude is Everything

I’ve been in a bit of a funk since last week. I realized that I am nearing the stage of burn out and that I will most likely be taking a break from this blog and my YouTube channel in the month of December. I do have prerecorded videos that will be posted throughout December on YouTube channel so I will still technically be a presence over there. This will likely be my last blog post for this year (unless I get a great spark of inspiration for something to tell you lol) because I need to refill the creative well. It is important, as a creative, to not let yourself burn out entirely before realizing that you need to take a step back.

But my moment that I was having last week was also about something else. I was feeling like all of my efforts that I put into my writing career were pointless. I felt like all of the efforts were not bearing any fruit, or not enough fruit anyway if we’re talking in terms of finances. Even up until this morning I was just feeling so down about things. Then I was listening to something where the person being interviewed said that your attitude affects how you see things. It’s not like I didn’t already know this. I just needed a bit of a reminder and that reminder came right on time this morning.

I know that whatever happens, good or bad, I am blessed just to be given another chance each day God wakes me up in the morning. It is not over until it is REALLY over, meaning when there is no breathe left in my body. So just because I am not seeing things going in the direction I want them to go in right now doesn’t mean that it’s going to stay that way. But things surely can’t change course if I were to just have an attitude of giving up.

We accomplish nothing when we throw in the towel and give away. The only thing that would ensure is that all of the progress that we have made up to that point would truly be wasted and bear no fruit at all. It gets hard sometimes when you dream big but if it were easy then it would be a vision given to everyone and not just you. Our dreams and our visions are worth fighting to make them happen, no matter what it takes.

So keep that attitude of determination and drive. Hold on to that as you push through the dark moments where that little voice in your head is telling you that it’s pointless. Your attitude will be what carries you through and you will get there. Just don’t quit!

Until next time… #BeAmbitious #BeBold #BeGrateful

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.amazon.com/author/jccarpenter

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

https://www.facebook.com/AuthorJCCarpenter

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https://twitter.com/jcladyluv 

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note:  I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

There Is Value In the Work Already Completed

In one of my last YouTube videos I was talking about productivity and how I felt like I was being more and more productive but still never felt like I was productive enough.  It seems like the more I get done, the more there is that I want to be doing.  I suppose that one could say that at least there’s some comfort in knowing that I’m definitely not lazy and that effort is most certainly not my problem. 

Then I saw the above quote and realized that I wasn’t truly taking stock of the things that I was able to get done. I wasn’t taking notice of the fact that while I still have a lot I want to do and want my business to be doing for others that there was value in the work that had already been completed.  I know I have probably said this here in various ways before but we have to acknowledge the work we’ve done before getting lost down the rabbit hole of constantly doing and trying to do.

I’m not saying that we don’t always need to be putting in a tremendous amount of effort on each and every endeavor we tackle. I’m saying that every once in a while we need to take a step back to look at what we’ve already managed to achieve and be proud of it and celebrate it. I think that in essence helps with productivity because it allows us to see that our efforts are not wasted.

Until next time… #BeEncouraged #BeProductive #BeConsistent

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.amazon.com/author/jccarpenter

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note:  I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Take the Limits Off Your Dreams

“Don’t base your hopes on your perceived limitations” ~ Steve Harvey

I’ve been thinking a lot about the opportunities that we pass up on in life, for one reason or another. I don’t know whether it’s a lack of belief in our own abilities, or because you start to believe the doubts others have of your abilities, or just out of the sheer fear of failing out loud. I think that we tend to short change ourselves when we talk ourselves out of opportunities because of our own limits.   

I have a lot of ambition and a lot of things that I want to do with my writing and my brand. I also have a lot of things that I wished I would have went for and just didn’t, not for lack of hope, but because of my own limitations. I have an idea of things that I can do or can’t do and sometimes I don’t give myself enough credit.

I have certain writing positions that I have seen that I want to submit for but I haven’t because I simply am anxious about whether my writing would be good enough, because of my perceived limitations in my abilities. I at one point wanted to try my hand at acting but I could not get past my own hang-ups and my own doubts in what I would or wouldn’t be able to do. I’ve wanted to reach out to try to interview authors and entrepreneurs but because I feel that doubt creeping in I haven’t. I’ve seemingly convinced myself that there’s no way that they would do an interview for my magazine because they are who they are, without even attempting to get the interview.

I am fully aware that I place limitations on myself mainly out fear and self doubt which is a difficult beast to tame. Sometimes, even when you think that you’ve moved past the fear and then it just hits you out of nowhere. Limitations are fine for many things, one being when you are setting boundaries in terms of the people you allow in your life. The point when limitations become damaging is when you allow them to hold you back from everything that you are capable of achieving.

What is it that you are telling yourself that you won’t accomplish? What have you convinced yourself that you’re not good enough at so you shouldn’t even give it a shot? What dreams have you short changed yourself from because you allowed yourself to think that they are too unattainable? It’s not too late to change that way of thinking around and to take the limits off of yourself. Start today! Go out for that one goal that you thought you couldn’t reach. I assure you that you will get closer to that goal if you don’t limit yourself. Let’s work on that together!

Until next time… #BeAmbitious #BeBold #BeFearless

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.amazon.com/author/jccarpenter

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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https://twitter.com/jcladyluv 

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note:  I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

You Have to Protect Your Space

I am extremely careful about who I let into my space these days. I have gone from being a person with a wide circle of friends and associates to a person who just has a few select friends that I interact with, and they are people who understand that my space is precious to me and that the energy in my space can’t be negative. But then there are family members that can’t exactly be ignored or discarded because, well, they’re family.

It’s not easy to ignore negative criticism or when people talk down to you about your dreams or the things that you are working towards. It’s particularly hard when it comes from unexpected places like your family. This past weekend a family member made sure that they sent me a text message first thing in the morning to convey how sad they were that it didn’t seem like people were buying my book and that it didn’t look like I was getting any support from even my fellow authors on my Ko-fi page. They proceeded to tell me ways that I could bring more attention to my book and my site in general.

Mind you this person is not experienced in marketing (for the record nether am I), they have no idea what I have sold or haven’t sold book wise, and this person also refused to promote my book at all in the lead up to its release. Now I am okay with their lack of support even though they are family and to be fair they have contributed to my Ko-fi page (which is how they know I’m not getting enough support—at least in their eyes) but that doesn’t give them the right to try to poison my day. This person is the kind of person that somehow sees negative comments and unsolicited negative advice as them being helpful. They see negativity as a tool to toughen someone up and light the proverbial fire under them.

Now I have come a long way in learning how to ignore the negative self-talk that I have in my own mind and to put a positive spin on nearly everything because honestly it doesn’t help me to see the negative points about what I’m working towards. I know that there are some people that it works for but I am not one of those people. As a person who has suffered with many bouts of deep depression and still struggles not to let myself get to that place again, I don’t need someone pointing out every negative thing they can think of. Trust me, I have probably already said it to myself anyway.

Now this person also clearly has not researched the statistical data behind the fact the most authors do not sell a ton of books with their first book, maybe not even their second or third (hell Dan Brown said no one even paid attention to him until his fourth book) and I knew that going in and have had that fact in my mind. I don’t write or publish books to try and get rich (not that I would mind it lol). I write and publish because I love it, always have since I was ten years old (really six) and because I have things to say that I feel are important enough that someone else might actually want to read it and might even get something out of it.

This family member seems to always, when I’m at my most peaceful state, want to drop their words of negativity in my lap and just thinks I’m supposed to thank them for it. They don’t respect my space and they don’t seem to understand or care that the negative comments are not just hurtful and destructive, but they’re just unnecessary. I’m not going to deny that I got in my feelings about this message that morning for about an hour or two but then I let it go. I proceeded to ignore any further messages and didn’t respond to the one’s that were sent and I went back to protecting my space.  

We all have different ideas of what our happy place is. That place of peace where even if the world starts to crumble (or feels like it anyway) you still are armed with the knowledge and self-assurance that everything will be okay. It’s that space where I know that God would never give me more than I can handle and if I’m not strong enough he will be there to provide me with the strength that I need. We have to protect our spaces and keep those who wish to destroy it out, and not to be mean or nasty, but to keep ourselves sane and okay.  I hope that you are protecting your space and I wish you well in doing so.

Until next time… #BeProtective #BeMindful #BeMotivated

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.amazon.com/author/jccarpenter

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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https://twitter.com/jcladyluv 

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPU35EkFSbuxgekCp4LfI5g

Side note:  I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter

Do I Really Need to Say Yes More?

I read Shonda Rhimes book, Year of Yes, a couple of years ago and I vowed after reading it to start saying yes to things more often. Essentially I promised myself that I would be more open to change. After all, isn’t saying yes more geared towards the things that are out of your comfort zone and that you normally wouldn’t do? I will admit that there are some things that I have done since reading that books that I ordinarily wouldn’t have done, one of them being starting my YouTube channel. There’s a few more things that I have done that required me to step out of my bubble of comfort but I would assess that there have been far more times that saying no was the better move for me.

I have struggled in the past to find that balance between throwing caution to the wind and saying yes to things and knowing when to draw the line and just say no for myself. It would seem that at the moment when I finally learned how to say no to the things that I don’t want to do for my own sanity and self-care, that I lost some of that ability to say yes. I do believe that the Pandemic of the last year and a half also gave me further permission to be more of a no person than that yes person that I was working on becoming.

Honestly, I’m not sure that I want to be that ‘say yes to everything’ person because I don’t know that I would be a very happy person if I did that. I spent most of my childhood, my twenties, and a sizable chunk of my thirties saying yes to things that I just didn’t want to do at all, but not for the aspect of change, rather to please other people. I don’t know if it’s different when you’re saying yes for change and saying yes to people please but either way I don’t know that I can be that person. Sometimes no really is the right answer.  

Now this is not anything against the people who say yes to every single thing and who love doing so. I think that it’s great to discover what works for you and if you are someone who says no to EVERYTHING then you should definitely read Shonda Rhimes book and incorporate yes more into your vocabulary.  It’s good to explore and step out of the bubble of comfort sometimes. For me, I just cannot say yes to everything because then I get in this place where I start feeling like I’m doing things more for someone else and not for myself. I don’t want to go back to that place where I’m pleasing everyone else by saying yes to what they think I should do to the detriment of my own mental health and my own joy. I will not give up this peace that I have found and if that means I say no more than yes, so be it.

Until next time… #BeTruetoYourself #BeStrong #BeAuthentic

Jimmetta Carpenter 

Writer/Editor 

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

https://www.amazon.com/author/jccarpenter

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

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Side note:  I have a new Author Newsletter that I would love it if you signed up for http://www.tinyletter.com/Author_JCCarpenter

Another Side Note: If any of you would like to buy me a coffee and donate to my creative endeavors then please feel free to https://ko-fi.com/authorjccarpenter