Giving Up is Not an Option

“If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.”

~Author Unknown 

I have heard so many people say that when the going gets tough, the tough get going.  I suppose that could translate to people simply giving up and throwing in the towel.  They may examine what went wrong down the line, but for all intense and purposes they give up the fight because it just got too hard.  When they do find themselves wanting to go back to that place later on in life they find that they have to start all over again and that can be discouraging for anyone. 

I found the above quote (at the top of my post) when I was going through my facebook timeline and reading other people’s updates.  When I read it, I tried to figure out if that applied to me.  I replayed certain big moments throughout my life where I felt like everything just fell apart and I had to carry on but I don’t think that it was ever a case where I had to really start over.  That’s because never once have I given up.  

I’ve always been more of a pick up where I left off type of person.  I will admit that when I find the walls collapsing around me I do have a tendency to get the urge to run for the (imaginary) hills.  Instead I just take a step back from things and in a sense reevaluate what’s happening.  When I go back to the problem, I never start from scratch, I simply pick up where I left off and continue in a different direction (hopefully the right one this time). 

Starting over isn’t ideal.  Once you’ve started something and have a clear vision for it there should be no turning back.  You should never see that rough patch as a reason to begin all over again when it isn’t necessary.  You can’t complain about how hard it is to begin again if you are going to keep giving up when it gets hard.  

Ms. L. told me the other day that I have to start seeing the things in myself that other people see in me and she went on to list a lot of attributes that she saw in me that made me feel a little embarrassed.  I wasn’t embarrassed because I was flattered necessarily (although I was) but more so because I couldn’t see what it is that she sees.  But if I had to list one strong attribute about myself that I firmly believe is true and can clearly see in myself, I would have to say it is that I never give up.  

I get knocked down (a lot), and admittedly I stay down for longer than I should at times, but I have never just completely given up.  I’ve wanted to.  I sulk, I cry, I ask why me a countless number of times (which I know I need to stop doing), and then I suck it up, I reevaluate the situation, I get up and I get moving again.  Sometimes I am only operating on a hope and a prayer, but sometimes that is all that you need in order to operate.  For anyone out there who is thinking about giving up on something that they know is meant for them, don’t.  It will just make things a lot harder when you have to start all over again.  Stop starting over with a new (not always better) plan.  Instead just stop giving up on the old one.  

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

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Everybody Does Not Need To Know Your Status

Okay for anyone who knows me, either personally or through this blog, you know that I am not a huge fan of social media and the overuse of technology.  As a writer it has become necessary for me to learn how to adapt to using social media and truthfully I still have some work to do in that department as far as using it effectively.  Now I use facebook and twitter and other forms of social media to share my writing and things about me as a writer, and to network with other writers or like minded business people.  

I know that there are others who use social media for those purposes as well but that take it to a whole other level by displaying every, little, single, detail of their personal life on the internet.  I still do not understand this, and I don’t think that I ever will.  There is no logical reason that everyone in the whole entire world (and that’s what the internet includes) needs to know what you had to eat for a particular meal, or how bad (or good) your relationship is going on any given day of the week.  

There is no reason why people (possibly future or present employers) need to see the enormous amount of partying that you may have done over the weekend or the half nudity that you chose to display (because you thought it was cute and your friends were not honest enough to tell you otherwise).  I don’t think that facebook was ever intended for the unfolding of one’s every move on the internet for all to bear witness to.  

In fact Mark Zuckerberg originally created facebook so that the college students attending Harvard could be aware of the activities going on within the campus.  If you go to his facebook page he does not even take facebook to the ridiculous extremes that everyone else has chosen to take it to.  Somewhere between when social networking sites were developed up until now people seem to have lost sight of the whole point which was to actually network.  

Networking does not include (last time I checked) sharing what meal you had for lunch (unless it is a meal that you had at some type of business event or conference), or that you saw someone walking around with a very unflattering outfit on that you couldn’t help but judge them for, or that you let the world see you half-naked pouring countless alcoholic beverages down your throat.  It certainly does not mean that everyone in the world needs to know who you are dating and whether your relationship with them is in a good or bad place.  That is not networking.  That is simply sharing too much unnecessary personal information.  

It amazes me how people are so surprised that someone (sometimes their employers) they never told anything to somehow ended up knowing intimate details of their lives.  It’s because you choose to air your dirty (or clean) laundry out for all to see.  It’s pretty simple, if you don’t show it or tell it all on facebook or twitter or whatever form of social media you are using at the moment, then everyone (that you might not want to be) won’t be all in your personal life.  

Let’s try and remember what networking truly means (but just in case any of you out there might have forgotten it is centered below) and maybe we could actually avoid abusing and misusing the social media networking sites.    

Definition of NETWORKING

net·work·ing (noun) 

‘The exchange of information or services among individuals, groups, or institutions; specifically : the cultivation of productive relationships for employment or business.’ 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

What Would You Do If You Were Not Afraid?

“Whatever you fear most has no power—it is your fear that has the power.

~Oprah Winfrey 

I was watching the interview that Oprah did with facebook’s COO, Sheryl Sandberg the other night and I managed to get some really inspirational things from it, but that’s no surprise considering it is Oprah.  I think that the most insightful thing that I got from it was when Oprah talked about the fear she had at starting her own cable network.  She said that one of the ways that she was able to move past that fear was to make a list of all of the things that she would do if she were not afraid to do them.  I immediately jotted down a few notes and started pondering what my list would look like. 

Now anyone who knows me knows that I am the queen of list making so of course I couldn’t just sit and ponder what would be on my list, I had to actually make my list.  The funny thing was that I put quite a few things on that list that I didn’t even realize that I actually had a yearning to do.  There were things that I am so afraid of doing that I had somehow convinced myself that I didn’t want to do those things simply out of fear.  In writing them down and being completely honest with myself I realized that I do want to do those things, I’m just scared to.  But what kind of existence can I possibly have always being afraid to do what it is I really want to do?  

We are all afraid of something.  Fear is just a part of life.  We are going to be afraid of something, and it is even going to trip us up for a while, but how long do you let that fear control the destination of your journey?  I know I can’t kick that habit of fear overnight, hell probably not even in a month or so, but I know it’s not helping me meet my goals.  I think that I am going to put my list up on my bulletin board in an effort to remind me of all of the things that I am missing out on by being afraid to do them, or at the very least try.  

So since I am a little bit afraid to share any part of this list with the rest of the world for fear of becoming vulnerable I am in fact going to share a part of that list:

  1. Open my own bookstore
  2. Go to culinary arts school and pursue opening my own restaurant.
  3. Write a soap opera and present it for production.
  4. Write a stage play and get it produced.
  5. Hound a national magazine or newspaper until they hire me to write for them.
  6. Start my own internet talk/radio show.
  7. Audition for the X-factor.
  8. Start doing motivational speaking to kids and teens in elementary and high schools about the dangers of bullying. 

Okay so that was only a small part of my list but I don’t want to go sharing everything.  So I think that everyone should go make their own list of what they would do if they were not afraid.  If you don’t mind sharing maybe you could leave a comment and share one of those things that you would do.  If it’s out there, then there’s no reason to be afraid anymore, right?  Even if you don’t share make the list anyway, you just might find it liberating.  Until next time…Do what it is you are most afraid of!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

So Not the Social Networking Butterfly

Now I am not a social butterfly per say but I am definitely not socially inept when it comes to going out and meeting people.  Most of the time, I am able to strike up whole conversations with perfect strangers so I consider myself to be a lot less shy then I used to be many years ago.  However, as social as I can be I can not seem to get enthusiastic about this incredible surge of social media networking.  It seems to be so necessary now just to be considered successful but are you really not a success if you’re not any good at it?  

I was actually having a conversation with Ms. L. the other night about social networking and adapting to the need for me to being internet savvy.  We discussed all things Twitter and Facebook and what I am doing, what I’m not doing, and what I could be doing better to put myself out there even more.  All I kept saying to her was that I understand that I need to do those things but it just seems so time consuming and it is essentially a distraction from doing what it is that I really want to be doing which is writing.  

It’s quite funny because I am one who is soon planning on embarking on the start-up of my own online writing magazine.  I love to blog.  I love the thought of having articles being published online.  I am constantly doing research online.  I even check the stats of my blogs and the google search results for my name every other week.  So it isn’t that I don’t want an internet presence otherwise I would never bother with it altogether.  What I don’t like is that if someone is not on facebook and not tweeting to death and they don’t have an overwhelming internet presence then their rate of success as a writer, or any type of artists or business person is diminished just because of it.  When did people get so wrapped up in the person presented on the internet that the talent that they do or do not possess no longer matters?     

Having said that, I do realize that to be the success that I want to be as a writer I must become a better social networking butterfly.  I think that it’s just going to take me some time to get better at something that I have absolutely zero interest in and can’t seem to muster up the enthusiasm to do.  So maybe you guys can tell me what you really think about social networking?  What advice can you give me as someone who isn’t totally into it, to still be successful at it? 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://spokenlikeaqueen.wordpress.com/

http://jayceedurant.wordpress.com/

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress