The Picture Isn’t Always Perfect

Nothing is Picture Perfect 2

Oftentimes we like to paint a picture for people that things in our world are running smoothly. We like to put a smile on to pretend that things are perfect even if they aren’t. We like to highlight the things that are going well and leave out all of the mistakes that we have been making as we go. It’s the whole fake it until you make it syndrome. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to have positive self-talk and to tell yourself that you can do this or that, even if deep down you are unsure of your capabilities. But to leave out the things that went wrong in your journey sometimes does a disservice, not only to you but to the people that you hope to inspire along the way.

If you think about it, there are no real mistakes in life. Everything that happens to us or even for us is by design and has already been mapped out by God. Even the slight detours we take are to teach us something, to show us what we are made of when we start to lose sight of the true depth of our purpose. It is in the failures that we truly triumph because we learn perseverance and it forces us to get back up again even when we don’t feel like we can.

I’ll admit that it feels good when you are presenting yourself to people as if you have everything all together and figured out. Particularly in the instances where you want to impress someone who impresses you, you want to seem like you can make all the pieces to the puzzle fit perfectly. Sometimes you fake it so well that you may even start to believe it yourself and it kind of gets you motivated in a way you may not have been otherwise.

The problem with faking it is that in leaving out the mistakes that you have made you also tend to leave out the lessons that you have learned from those mistakes as well. The people that you want to inspire and who may be looking to you for guidance are being mislead by this false perception of what success looks like and that really isn’t fair to them or you. There is no such thing as a flawless road to success and trying to pretend that there is only makes things look pretty on the outside, but it doesn’t change the reality of how messy the journey really is.

Stop trying to make everything look easy to everyone else because by doing that you diminish all of the hard work that you have likely put into your journey. Your path has more substance because of the obstacles and failures that you have had as you have walked along it. All those times you fell that you would like to instantly forget are important because they taught you that you are not a quitter and that you can get back up again. The detours on that straight and narrow road that you had planned to take likely gave you something that you needed at those particular times. Don’t leave out what you believe are the bad parts of your journey because odds are the good that came out of it wouldn’t have happened any other way.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

https://www.facebook.com/confessionsoftheunpleasantlyplump

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv

https://twitter.com/write2bemag

 

 

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Are We Faking It to Our Own Detriment?

be you_2

There is this mantra that people have come to live by that is supposed to help motivate them to keep moving forward and not get hung up on what they haven’t achieved.  “Fake it until you make it” is what people tell you to do when you are trying to achieve certain goals that you haven’t quite reached yet.  So often I have been told that even if I don’t have it all together and I haven’t achieved all of the goals that I am striving towards that I should just essentially pretend that I have made it, that I have it all together, and that I am already a success even though I still have a long way to go.

It sounded like good advice and I completely understand what good intentions are meant by this mantra.  I have even repeated this advice to others because I firmly believed that it was the right attitude to have.  Now I’m not so sure.  I mean I don’t think that you are ever supposed to lose sight of the goals and dreams that you are moving towards accomplishing but I am not so sure that faking it is the right way to really go about it.

I read a blog post last night about how the mantra of faking it could actually be the reason your message is falling on deaf ears (so to speak).  It made me think, if I am trying to promote brand ME and I want people to connect to me, do I want people to get the me that I am pretending to be, that I think that they want, or do I want people to connect to the real me, the me that just doesn’t have it all together yet.  If I am not being authentic, then what is the point of me trying to get my words out there and to connect with readers?

Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are, imperfections and all, but how can that be possible if we are all too busy pretending to be what it is we wish we were, what we think people want us to be.  No real good comes of pretending to be someone other than yourself and it is just deceptive to think that we have to put on this false pretense.  So I thought that I would real today (I try to be real most of the time but sometimes I hide behind my insecurities) and share things I don’t normally say out loud.

I am a writer, true enough, but I do not have it all together.  I am not as successful as I sometimes try to pretend to be.  Sometimes, frankly I am just winging it with this whole writing thing and I don’t have even half of the answers.  I don’t write as much as I should.  I don’t seem to have a knack for this social media thing so my name is not as well known as I had hoped it would be at this point in my life.

To be completely honest, some days I really have no idea what I am doing, I am just trying to be the best writer that I know how to be and I am trying to hold on to that passion that I have for writing.  There are days when trying to focus on the business side of being a writer is so frustrating I start to think about never writing again.  I question regularly, despite my saying that I know writing is my true purpose, if maybe writing has already served its purpose in my life and that maybe (and only in moments of temporary insanity do I really believe this) it is time to let it go.

I try not to admit those things even to myself so saying them here for everyone to see is hard for me but I feel better having done it.  I feel like there has to be someone else out there that gets it and are just as tired as I am of pretending to be something that they are not and who understand where I am coming from.  Isn’t it less pressure to just be yourself?  As imperfect as you might be, even if you feel like everything is falling a part, be the best version of yourself that you can be.  Let’s not fake it until we make it, let’s just make it by being real.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

 

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/.  Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine.  Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

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