goals – Page 19 – Write 2 Be

Are We Faking It to Our Own Detriment?

May 22, 2013 jcladyluv

There is this mantra that people have come to live by that is supposed to help motivate them to keep moving forward and not get hung up on what they haven’t achieved. “Fake it until you make it” is what people tell you to do when you are trying to achieve certain goals that you haven’t quite reached yet. So often I have been told that even if I don’t have it all together and I haven’t achieved all of the goals that I am striving towards that I should just essentially pretend that I have made it, that I have it all together, and that I am already a success even though I still have a long way to go.

It sounded like good advice and I completely understand what good intentions are meant by this mantra. I have even repeated this advice to others because I firmly believed that it was the right attitude to have. Now I’m not so sure. I mean I don’t think that you are ever supposed to lose sight of the goals and dreams that you are moving towards accomplishing but I am not so sure that faking it is the right way to really go about it.

I read a blog post last night about how the mantra of faking it could actually be the reason your message is falling on deaf ears (so to speak). It made me think, if I am trying to promote brand ME and I want people to connect to me, do I want people to get the me that I am pretending to be, that I think that they want, or do I want people to connect to the real me, the me that just doesn’t have it all together yet. If I am not being authentic, then what is the point of me trying to get my words out there and to connect with readers?

Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are, imperfections and all, but how can that be possible if we are all too busy pretending to be what it is we wish we were, what we think people want us to be. No real good comes of pretending to be someone other than yourself and it is just deceptive to think that we have to put on this false pretense. So I thought that I would real today (I try to be real most of the time but sometimes I hide behind my insecurities) and share things I don’t normally say out loud.

I am a writer, true enough, but I do not have it all together. I am not as successful as I sometimes try to pretend to be. Sometimes, frankly I am just winging it with this whole writing thing and I don’t have even half of the answers. I don’t write as much as I should. I don’t seem to have a knack for this social media thing so my name is not as well known as I had hoped it would be at this point in my life.

To be completely honest, some days I really have no idea what I am doing, I am just trying to be the best writer that I know how to be and I am trying to hold on to that passion that I have for writing. There are days when trying to focus on the business side of being a writer is so frustrating I start to think about never writing again. I question regularly, despite my saying that I know writing is my true purpose, if maybe writing has already served its purpose in my life and that maybe (and only in moments of temporary insanity do I really believe this) it is time to let it go.

I try not to admit those things even to myself so saying them here for everyone to see is hard for me but I feel better having done it. I feel like there has to be someone else out there that gets it and are just as tired as I am of pretending to be something that they are not and who understand where I am coming from. Isn’t it less pressure to just be yourself? As imperfect as you might be, even if you feel like everything is falling a part, be the best version of yourself that you can be. Let’s not fake it until we make it, let’s just make it by being real.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Write 2 Be Magazine is now out so please go check it out at http://write2bemagazine.com/. Also please go and join the magazine on twitter https://twitter.com/write2bemag, join the email listing for the magazine or submit a request for an author interview at Write2bemagazine@yahoo.com, and also like the Write 2 Be Magazine fan page https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine. Please help support my endeavor and my new journey and help me spread the word about Write 2 Be and its meaning.

Holding On For the Breakthrough Moment

May 21, 2013 jcladyluv

Yesterday I had a day where it seemed like I just kept hitting the wall. Just when it looked like I was starting to get close to that light that lets me know things are going to be okay I felt like another boulder (not a rock) was dropped in my way. I felt like just giving up and I took a moment to cry a little (I’m not ashamed to admit that I cry when I get upset) because honestly I started to feel like things were hopeless.

But today was a new day and with the tragedy that has just taken place in Oklahoma with the devastation of the tornados it really puts things into perspective. I can’t take the gifts that I have been given for granted just because of a moment that seems like it can’t be fixed. I have to be grateful that I still have more moments to fix things. A moment of frustration is not going to keep me from tunneling through to that light on the other side of the wall that keeps blocking me from my dreams and my purpose.

I opened my latest Tyler Perry email today and there on the screen in front of me (right on time as usual) was a message to all of the frustrated dreamers. In essence, he was letting all of the dreamers out there who are hitting that wall know, to keep powering through until we breakthrough to the other side of that wall. That while we are tunneling through that wall, to be grateful for the things that we have to go through on the way, yes even those things that make us want to rip our hair out and scream, because it will be those things that make us stronger and more prepared for when we finally do have our breakthrough moment.

So often we make it all the way to that wall and then we give up right before the breakthrough (just like in the picture above) because we didn’t see it coming. Then we just end up missing our moment, our opportunity and all of the opportunities that were supposed to follow. We (yes me included) have to stop giving up so easily. Just because things seem hopeless at the moment, we can’t just stop pushing through because that light that we are looking for could literally be right around the corner when we decide it’s just too hard to keep going.

Tyler Perry included a prayer in his email for the frustrated dreamers “God, help me hold on, help me to get to what I dream of, help me to honor where I am today so that I can appreciate where I will be tomorrow. In Jesus’ name.” That prayer is something I know I am going to say (on top of my many other conversations with God) so that I can motivate myself to keep pushing through no matter what, until I get to the other side of that wall. I know I can make it and I’m not giving up, you shouldn’t either!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

There Are Times When I Question, Am I Still Meant To Do This

May 1, 2013 jcladyluv

I was reading the latest blog post on one of the many that I follow and it was about the signs that let you know you were meant to be a writer. It’s funny because lately I’ve been wondering, since I have been a little stalled or slow moving on my latest novel and it doesn’t seem like I am moving as quickly as I would like to with it, does that mean I am not really a writer any more.

I mean sure there are obviously other forms of writing (article writing, blog writing, etc.) that I do and have become better at throughout the years but since novel writing was I initially wanted to become known for, sometimes I feel like I am not as much of a writer anymore. Okay true, those thoughts only last a good minute or so and then I realize that it’s crazy because of course I am a writer.

Well when I was reading the list on this blog post this morning with the signs that you are meant to be a writer I realized that over half of that list applied to me, in fact maybe all but one (there are 11) I could point out as identifying with. However, it made me think of a few more that weren’t on the list (not exactly anyway) that also apply as well.

1) I no longer watch movies and T.V. for pure entertainment but rather more so with the thought in mind of how I could write the script better or how I can write something equally as good.

2) I still read books the traditional way and write in longhand a lot of the time. I know that these old traditions have seemingly been tossed out and replaced with newer (supposedly better) technology but I haven’t given up those old ways of writing and reading.

3) My text messages turn out to be pages in which I go over before sending to check the grammar and spelling to make sure it is written well before sending it.

4) I still believe in writing my own words inside of a card for any special occasion and in fact can take up a whole entire side of a card writing it.

5) My idea of a good night is when I can finally sit down and instead of working on a paper for school or even an article, I can actually work on a novel in progress or ideas for one that has yet to be started.

6) I still wake up with story plots in my head in which I have to actually use the voice memo feature on my phone (which if you knew me you know how much I hate using this feature to record ideas) to get the idea out before I forget it (because my short term memory isn’t as good as it used to be).

7) I love stocking up on notebooks and pretty pens and any kind of really beautiful stationary and have a hard time even going in staples for fear of how much I might walk out with.

These are just a few of the additions that I would make to the list I read this morning in which about ten of the eleven things on it apply to me. It’s not that I need constant reminders of why writing is what I am meant to do but sometimes I start to wonder. You spend so much time working on a craft, and cultivating your career, and having pride in your work that it becomes doubtful when it seems as if none if it is working and like none of the hard work you do is propelling you forward.

I have to keep remembering, slow and steady sometimes is really the best way to do things. I have to have patience because writing makes me happy and it is just that important to me. What signs on this list or the list in the blog post I read can you apply to yourself? What signs do you think you would add that are not on this list?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

What I Got From My Not So Successful Camp Experience

April 30, 2013 jcladyluv

Well this is the last day of CampNaNoWriMo and I wish that I could report that I have finished my novel which is what I set out to do. However, I did not manage to finish the novel. In fact I wasn’t even able to get nearly as much done as I thought I would be able to. Granted I did get some work done on it and I reignited the energy to actually finish it, it’s just that I had wanted to be able to move onto the next project soon and I simply can’t now until this one is finished.

Even though I didn’t make it through camp season with a successful outcome it was not completely without its usefulness. It got me started again when I had been stuck for quite some time. Sometimes when we attempt to do something and manage to fall short of our expected goals we have to keep ourselves from dwelling on what wasn’t accomplished. Instead, we have to focus on the accomplishments that were made and how much further we are in the process then we were before we accomplished those particular goals.

Sometimes it’s not about winning the race so much as it is about showing up and putting in every ounce of effort that we can muster up. So remember when you are pursuing your goals and you are giving it your all that your best is good enough even if you don’t get everything that you were going after. It’s not the winning that matters the most, it’s the fight that you put into the race.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Who Is In Your Corner?

April 25, 2013 jcladyluv

It is always good to have someone in your corner. Someone who reassures you when your confidence is beginning to waiver and who is going to stand beside you come hell or high water. Everyone deserves to have that kind of support. Typically you are going to find that support within your family and your very close knit friends but what do you say to those who are supposed to be your family and don’t have your back. How do you respond to the people who are supposed to always believe in you telling you that you won’t make it?

I try to figure that out because I have several of those in my family, people who consistently let me know that they don’t think that I am going to reach my destination. I tune them out most of the time but when you hear people talk about not knowing where they would be without their family believing in them it seems sad when I look at my family and think I don’t know where I would be if I were to actually listen to them. Yes I actually do know. I would have given up on my dreams a long time ago because that’s what they’ve always wanted me to do.

Every goal that you go after is always easier to reach if you have a few people standing in your corner. Not a lot of people, just two or three is good enough to help remind you that you are strong enough and to keep you from turning around and running away from the dreams you have for yourself. I know that I may not have family that is standing in my corner, praying that my successes are made a reality, but I do have at least one really good friend, my best friend, who I know will always be there.

We may not always get to have the crowd of believers that we want around us but then again do we really need a big crowd? Sure it would be nice if everyone was as sure of your choices as you are (most of the time) but truthfully you can get where you going without that big crowd. You want that support system in the corner standing by but the most important person that you need in your corner is you.

You have to fight for that dream and you have to do it regardless of whether you are fighting with that big crowd, or you are fighting for it alone. No matter who I have or don’t have in my corner, I know one thing. I have me (and of course God) and that’s all there really is. So no matter how large your corner is expanding make sure that you remember that no one can fight for that dream you have like you can.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

5 Ways to Beat the Fear You Fight Everyday as a Writer

April 24, 2013April 24, 2013 jcladyluv

I used to think (when I was a much younger writer) that all of the really great writers wrote fearlessly. I used to believe that all of the work that the great novelists produced was flawless and perfect from their start until the finished product when it landed on the bookshelves. It never would have dawned on me that writers like Steven King, Terry McMillan, James Patterson, or Sue Grafton just produced excellent first drafts and that they felt no fear at all on whether or not they would be able to get their work published.

Of course now I realize that even the greatest writers were once amateurs or first time novelists once upon a time and that someone had told them no too. It’s easy to think that you are the only one that is afraid of doing what you love but the fact is that you are not. Fear strikes us all, true enough in different ways, but we are all hit with it from time to time, some more than others.

I seem to be one of those people that is paralyzed by it more so than others but I am working on that. I thought of some strategies that I have learned over the years and a couple that I am still trying to put into practice that help me to work on facing those fears instead of burying my head in the sand.

Face the Fear You Feel Head On— The usual response to something that you are afraid of is to run from it as fast and as far away as you can. You can’t to rely on the comfort zone that you have set up for yourself, that place where you know every answer is going to be yes and everyone is going to like whatever it is you do. Where’s the fun in that, or the challenge for that matter. Comfort may be good for a short period of time but it becomes mundane and frankly boring. Do the things that scare you because they are the things that will bring the most rewards.
Let the Rejection That You Fear Fuel Your Drive— Okay it is a given (unless you are the world’s most perfect writer) that you will indeed receive rejection letters in your career. Instead of shying away from doing things that will get you a rejection letter, do them anyway and celebrate the fact that someone actually took the time to write you that rejection letter because while what you’ve submitted may not have been right for them at the time they saw something in your work that resulted in them sending you a letter. When you think about it, they could have just tossed your work and not sent you anything. For every one rejection letter you get, send out ten more query letters. Let those rejection letters do more than just pile up on the corner of your desk.
Know That If You Weren’t Afraid, It Wouldn’t Be Worth It— If you weren’t passionate about your work and it didn’t mean so much to you then you wouldn’t be so afraid of failing at it. Things that mean something to us, things that we know we are good at and that we are supposed to be doing, they’re scary. God forbid you fail at the one thing that you feel deep in your soul you are supposed to be doing with your life. What then? The thing is that you can’t let that fear paralyze you into just not moving forward. Take that fear as a sign that you are, in fact, walking the right path.
Reflect and Refresh—When you are feeling like your work isn’t good enough, take out all of your old work. Look at all of the things you’ve written over the years and how much your writing has grown. Every now and then I do this and I find myself saying “wow, I wrote that” or even “I’ve gotten so much better”. Sometimes when you reflect on your works of the past you have no choice but to acknowledge how much you’ve grown in your work and it motivates you. It propels you forward with that knowledge of knowing your potential to produce greatness.
Just Sit Down and Do It—Fear, or writer’s block as it is most often referred to (okay sometimes it really is writer’s block but not most of the time) has a knack for stopping you from producing anything. Sooner or later you get so scared that you will be rejected that you end up just not writing. This is not going to help you. Fear or no fear, just sit down in that chair, open up that computer, and start writing. Even if you think that it’s bad writing, it’s still writing nonetheless. Write anyway!

Maybe one or more of these ideas will help you tackle that fear that keeps holding you back. I know that it is something that I am still working on to this day but I really think that these strategies will be a step in the right direction. If you have any strategies for overcoming your fears as a writer please share them with me. It never hurts to have enough ammunition to battle the fear with!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

3 Writers Whose Paths Are Still Teaching Me So Much

April 18, 2013 jcladyluv

I know that there are tons of lessons that I have yet to learn from writers who have already been propelled to a Hollywood level of success that I eventually hope to get to. Writers like J.K. Rowling, Terry McMillan, Tyler Perry, James Patterson, or Sue Grafton. Reading their works, studying their patterns, their habits, are valuable lessons to be instilled in my everyday quest for reaching my goals.

However, there are other writers also, other not yet famous (and I say yet because they are either just getting on their way or they will be) authors that this industry should be on the lookout for. There are 3 writers in particular whose lessons I can’t disregard and one’s that they are currently teaching me for my present circumstances.

Writers like Christina Katz, who for the years that I have been following her blog and her career, has reminded me continually that just because I am a mother does not mean that I can’t raise my career alongside my child and be an awesome Writer Mama. She also has showed me that building a platform is vitally important if you want to become successful within the writing industry and that it’s important to establish that platform before you release the book.

Then there is Catherine Ryan Howard, who is a prime example that being a self-published author is not a death sentence to your writing career but that it could potentially make you more of a household name. Catherine Ryan Howard has a remarkable blog and has self-published several books that are successfully driving her readership higher and higher and her determination is something to be admired.

Speaking of determination, not to mention drive, LaMonique Hamilton, who launched her online magazine, PieHole, just last year, is a writer who I admire greatly. She has such a love and passion for writing and for the media industry in general. She really will be the Oprah of the next generation and her passion for the arts is contagious.

There are many other writers whose names aren’t on someone’s Hollywood hit list yet that we can learn from on our way to career success. Let’s not take for granted the lessons that can be learned on a smaller scale that will help us get to the larger scale that we’re looking to get to. All lessons are important no matter where they come from. Even the small lessons that we learn can lead us to big results!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

There Is No Time Like the Present

April 16, 2013 jcladyluv

Yesterday the April issue of Write 2 Be magazine came out and in my letter from the editor I wrote about springing into action before too much time has passed and you realize that you haven’t even accomplished half of what you set out to achieve this year. As I was uploading the issue to the site the news about the Boston Marathon explosions broke in on the TV and I just shook my head at the actions of someone who was obviously busy doing the devil’s work. It made me saddened for those who were injured and certainly for those killed but I also felt like my message of springing into action was even more relevant.

None of us know what is going to happen from one day to the next and waiting around for the eventual time that is going to come for you to achieve those goals might just result in you wasting time that you may not have to waste. We have to stop living for some time period that is a year or two from now and live for the moment, for today. We keep putting things off and biding our time until someday gets here when you’re finally going to get moving and attack those goals, those dreams, with the determination and drive that should have been there all along.

For the ones at the marathon that died yesterday, particularly the eight year old little boy, they won’t get a chance to wait for someday to get here. Their someday is gone now and while there is nothing that we can do to bring them back, there is something that we can do to honor them and to honor all of the lives that have been taken way too soon from their eventual tomorrow. We can stop waiting for someday, or for a year from now, or even months from now. We can start living out our dreams and serving God’s purpose NOW! Not tomorrow, but right now.

They say that there is no time like the present and when I was younger I really didn’t get the depth of that saying. However, as I have gotten older and as I have seen terrible things happen throughout this world I understand what that means. There’s no time like the present because that’s all there is, is the present. Live as if today was the last one you had. I don’t mean live as if you’re going to die tomorrow, but rather enjoy your life today, enjoy the opportunities that you have today, take advantage of the goals that you can achieve today, and be happy today. None of us knows what tomorrow will hold. All we have is today!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

My Younger Writer Fantasies

March 27, 2013 jcladyluv

I was reading an email ezine that I subscribe to from Christina Katz this morning that got me thinking about the side of writing that I don’t often like to think about. That would be the business side of being a writer. It’s the side that has to eventually kick in if you really want to turn your creativity into your source of income and have the ability to make a living doing something that you love to do. Apparently it is the side that I haven’t figured out how to turn all the way on yet.

There are those who can manage being the creative person for a designated period of time and then switch on the business person when necessary for a separate length of time. Then there is me, and other writers like me, who just simply are not born business people. I am the creative person, not the business person. For as long as I can remember I never liked to deal with the business side of anything. But I think that was the fantasies of my younger writer self that just didn’t know any better.

Christina Katz spoke about writers who, when they are younger, have this big idea of being discovered and turned into an overnight success, living an ideal life free from all daily trials and tribulations. I was that writer. I didn’t think so then but looking back on that time now I can see that there were a lot of things about being a writer that I wasn’t factoring in. Things like hard work (on the business end), extreme work ethic, determination, and patience. One more thing I didn’t factor in was confidence. Not necessarily confidence in my writing (because I always knew that writing was what I was born to do) but confidence in the person writing those words, confidence in me.

I thought that I would just be discovered one day, that someone would read my words and feel that they had to be the one who discovered me. I thought that I would be under the umbrella of a major publishing house with a publicists and a person who did marketing professionally so that someone who knew what they were doing could get my name out there.

I imagined living in New York (Manhattan at that) at a young age, working for national magazines and newspapers, and being on the New York Time’s Bestsellers list. I imagined that by the age of 30 I would already have had a dozen or so books out, on bookshelves, or whatever else there was that sold books. What I didn’t imagine, was having to be the publisher, and the publicist, and the marketer, all for myself.

I mean you see it happen to other writers (or so you think because that’s how things appear) and you think why can’t that be me. The truth is that just because it seems like people such as Steven King, or J.K. Rowling, or Tyler Perry were overnight successes with no obstacles in their way, doesn’t mean that there wasn’t a great deal of the other side that went into that success. At some point there is a need to tap into that business side of the writer self.

I’ve been trying to avoid it for years now and it may have just been to my detriment but I have to stop fighting the business side of being a writer. In a perfect world I would love to just focus on my creativity and have my talent be able to stand for itself and propel me forward but that just isn’t a realistic ideal to cling to. I can’t just worry about figuring in time for writing and all of the creative projects I have in the works. I have to figure in the time to be my publisher, and my publicist, as well as my marketer. I have to be realistic in the fact that I can not be the writer who solely focuses on the creativity of it all without fully committing to the business of it all as well. Time to dismantle those younger writer fantasies I once had! Did you fantasize up the writer life in your mind?

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

Blooming Late or Right In Season?

March 26, 2013 jcladyluv

Everything happens for a reason and at the time that it is supposed to happen. That is how the saying goes right? When frustrations set in about my slow (and I do mean slow) progression to writing success (and financial comfort ability) it is really hard to believe that there is any truth to that saying. Half of the time I want to say that it is really just how people justify having a bad round of luck and the walls just crumbling in around them (or maybe that’s just me). However, deep down inside I do know that there is actually truth to it.

When success happens later than you expect it to (or planned for it to) it gets frustrating watching people who are barely out of high school or college achieve success on a fluke or by a chance meeting with just the right person. Meanwhile you work hard and consistently at something that you have the talent to back up and it just seems like mountain after mountain just keeps forming right in your path. You get around one mountain only to be challenged with another.

You’re left wondering why this person can just snap their fingers and have all of what you’ve been working hard for years (and years), and where’s that person’s mountain. Sometimes success just seems to come so easy for some and so much of a struggle for others. I guess some people (myself included) are late bloomers. It can make a person just want to throw up their hands and say the hell with it.

When I think about it, there are a lot of people who didn’t become a success when they first started out. They struggled, stressed, and fought hard to get to their current place in life and it was a mountain to climb every step of the way. Just because success doesn’t come easy does not mean that it isn’t coming. There is a reason that some people have to go through more than others in order to accomplish what they set out to do. Blooming late sometimes just means that you are blooming in season.

The writer I was in my 20’s is not who I am as a writer now in my 30’s. Naturally I have grown, both in life and in my writing, but I have also been through things that have given me experience (and a little bit of wisdom) to be able to open up more within my writing. If I had gotten the level of success that I wanted in my 20’s I’m not sure that I would’ve known what to do with it, or how to handle it with the level of maturity that I could now or in the future.

There was a reason why it didn’t come to me then. I wasn’t ready for it, and I wouldn’t have been prepared. It just wasn’t the time. There is a reason why I haven’t bloomed yet but I do feel that the blooming is about to begin. Better late then never!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310