Tag: God

You Have To Be Willing To Get Out Of Your Own Way

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Getting Out of Your Own Way

In the midst of our journey’s to get to wherever it is that our destination is leading us there are many things that we do to create our own obstacles. It’s not intentional of course because no one purposefully sets out to not achieve their goals. Nevertheless our own actions, or majority of the time our inactions, cause things to get off track.

I know that personally I have allowed, for far too long, for my fear of everything not being perfect and fear of someone else not liking what I have written, to keep me from even trying to get the goals I set done. Then I look back and wonder to myself why wasn’t I able to get a particular thing published in this or that publication, or why wasn’t I able to get this book or that book out there for people to buy. The reality is that it didn’t get published in a publication because I was too afraid that it wouldn’t be perfect enough and it would get rejected to send it in, or I was too afraid that people wouldn’t like it to get it published. I stood in my own way.

I was talking to my best friend and he said something the other day that I have now added among my quotes on my bulletin board. He said “if you get out your own way what’s really there to stop you”. We weren’t talking about anything writing related but it applies all the same. I keep putting up these road blocks that no one else has put up but me. No one ever does anything perfectly, let alone writing, so why do I keep feeling like I have to.

No one ever gets to where they are going without ever hearing no and truthfully I have already heard no more times than I care to count so why do I care if I hear it again. Everyone isn’t going to say yes and logically I already know this. I get inside my own head a lot, some might say too much, and it’s a part of what makes me a good writer but it’s also what hinders me when it comes to following through with all of these larger than life ideas that I have, and I have plenty.

I suppose if I don’t ever get out of my own way I will never see those ideas come to fruition and I would hate for that to happen because I do think that I have a lot to offer the world and I would hate to leave this earth not having fulfilled my purpose. So that’s what this year is all about for me, moving out of my own way and letting God do his work on me and my life and listen to his plan for my life.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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This Dream Is Everything To Me and I Cannot Fail

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Chasing my dream 2

I realized when I woke up this morning that I am still not having the rate of production that I want so far this year. There’s something else I realized too. I cannot handle the thought of failing at this. Not failing in general with various tasks that may fall through or fall short of what I expected. Not failing simply in terms of getting thrown off course and sent in a different and unexpected direction. Not failing as in not completely fulfilling all of the larger than life goals that I have for myself.

I can handle all of that because I have learned (and read from many successful people) that failure is a part of succeeding, quite possibly a more vital part than people realize. What I absolutely cannot handle failing at is the overall goal of fulfilling the dream I have had since I was six years old of being a writer, and not that person who has a full time job and writes as my side gig (not that there is ANYTHING wrong with that AT ALL). I don’t want to have to go back to having to balance both the fulltime job and my writing dream because when I had to do it before it didn’t work for me at all, on any level.

My dream was to make a living as a writer and that I was going to influence this world, even if it’s only to a small sum of people, in a major way. I have too many people who doubt me, including my own mother, and most of my entire family, and I refuse to prove them right in any way. Now me succeeding and making my dreams come to fruition is definitely not about proving anyone else wrong (not solely) but we all know it’s a bonus when you can do something everyone said that you couldn’t.

I have my plans set and my projects that I am supposed to be completing for the year set and they seemed so achievable when I wrote them down. However, January is almost over and I don’t see where any breakthrough has happened yet. I know I have to be patient but did I ever mention that patience is not really my strong suit. I have been at this so long and the journey has been quite daunting and tiresome and when you have people in your ear questioning you on whether you should just go ahead and give up or admit that it’s just not going to happen quite the way I want it to, it can be really frustrating.

I won’t give up on this vision of mine, largely in part due to this nagging feeling in my gut that keeps telling me that I’m on the right path, even if it doesn’t always feel like it, and to not give in to what other people think is best for me. The other reason I won’t give up is because this is the purpose that God has given me in life and I won’t turn my back on that purpose. I’m strong enough to persevere and as for the patience, well I’m working on that part (lol) but I won’t back down from this dream.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

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Perspective From the Middle Rung of the Ladder

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Perspective from middle rung of ladder

I had a conversation the other day with an older woman, who I have befriended because both of our daughters participate in the same activity. She has taken a liking to me and I to her and I gain a lot of wisdom from her and she in many ways motivates me. I have been able to share my goals and vision for what my dreams are with her and I don’t share my dreams with just everyone.

Every time I feel that fear creep up inside me and I get discouraged and start to doubt myself Ms. Yvonne (that’s her name) always seems to be right there giving me that dose of motivation that I need to get going again. It got me to thinking, there are so many people that see this potential in me, this light as some people say, surrounding me, and that they know that I am going to do so many big things to change this world but I can’t seem to see what it is that they see.

Why is it that other people can see things in us that we either can’t see or refuse to see in ourselves. When I see the journey that I am on to achieve my goals I sometimes get so defeated at how much further I have to go on this journey instead of realizing and appreciating just how far I have come and without acknowledging and thanking God that I am not where I was.

I often feel as if I am still on that bottom rung of the ladder because I keep thinking of what I don’t have yet but if I look at how far I have come and just what I have come through then I can see that I am actually in the middle of that ladder. Perspective is everything and so many times my perspective is thrown off. It’s one of the main things I have to work on in myself and particularly as I go into this new year with new goals and new determination and drive to make these things happen, fear be damned.

Ms. Yvonne told me that even when I don’t feel like I can do it I have to convince myself that I can. If you tell yourself enough that you can, eventually you believe that you actually can and I’ve been telling myself for so long what I couldn’t do because I didn’t have everytihng I needed and things weren’t perfect. It’s time I start telling myself what I can do and open my eyes to the me that other people see.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

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Focusing on the End Goal

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Focusing on the end goal

Well National Novel writing month is more than over and I have had a whole week to decompress from the event that went more than a little off track from me. From my technical difficulties to the distractions of life and (if I’m being completely honest) just sheer procrastination the month of November was definitely disappointing in terms of actually completing my projects.

Nevertheless I am not going to use that as an excuse to stop working on finishing these projects. I have done that in the past, get so upset with myself for not completing something that I just sink into a dark whole of depression and end up not doing anything. Well 2014 was a year full of promise and it was all wasted and it was the fault of no other person than myself. Setback after setback I allowed that negative voice in my head to get louder and louder.

With each setback I gave myself even more reasons of why I couldn’t get what I wanted accomplished. I focused so much on the things that I didn’t have at my disposal instead of using what I do have to my advantage. If you focus too much on the things that you don’t have then you can’t sufficiently notice all of the blessings around you that you have seemed to overlooked.

So I am going into the year 2015 with real hope and with faith that can’t be shaken and with the knowledge that whatever God wants me to have will be mine and that he will make a way for all of the plans that he has for me to come to fruition. I have to stop counting myself out before I even truly get into the race. I’m not doing myself any good by doubting God and his belief in me. So no more excuses for why something didn’t get accomplished. Nothing but results from here on out.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

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At Times the Horizon Seems So Distant

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Horizon in the distance

“What you still need to know is this: before a dream is realized, the Soul of the world tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we’ve learned as we’ve moved toward that dream. That’s the point at which most people give up, it’s the point at which, as we say in the language of the desert, one ‘dies of thirst just when the palm trees have appeared on the horizon’.”

~From “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho

 

I saw the above quote on a friend’s timeline in my seemingly constant Facebook surfing (which is really great for inspiration by the way) and it struck a chord with me. It’s kind of like those quotes that say don’t give up because success is right around the corner except in this quote it is much more profound and hard hitting. I won’t say that I am a person who gives up a lot because I am still not where I thought I would be, and long after the period in which I thought I would be there, and I still get people who tell me to just go back to working a regular job so I could live a much more comfortable lifestyle. Yet here I am, still going for it and pursuing it, one crushing blow after another.

But I’m not going to say that I haven’t had constant moments of doubt and wonder about whether I should give up. That quote hits home with me because I feel like I am constantly being tested, and not to sound too melodramatic, but I feel like the tests come at least every other day and they don’t ever stop. It is said that the bigger the battle the bigger the victory that God has in store for you and I just keep thinking that God must have one (excuse my language) hell of a victory waiting for me at the end of this part of my journey.

I suppose one would think that the constant testing is to make sure that you are absolutely certain about what it is that you say you want, what you say your dream is. We as a society tend to expect immediate results a lot. We want what we want, when we want it, and exactly the way we want it to happen. I suppose it is natural to have a plan and to actually expect that plan to go accordingly but in such an unpredictable world with surprises at every turn, we can’t allow ourselves to be so thrown off course that we simply stop moving.

I sometimes feel like this journey for me is like a trek through the desert. I keep seeing mirages of what I think is about to be my breakthrough. I see glimpses in the distance of what my future will look like but those glimpses seem like they will take forever to reach. Oftentimes it seems like I am standing in some figurative form of quicksand where I am sinking faster than I can find some far away branch to grab ahold of. And even when some spiritually appearing hand pulls me out of that quicksand the well of water sitting underneath the shady palm trees (my dream) still seems so far off in the distance that I feel like just giving up and succumbing to dehydration and heat exhaustion.

But I am still here. Through every test that the Soul of the world seems to be giving me, I am still making my way through that desert. I may still be seeing mirages far off in the distance but I know that the well of water and the shady palm trees are there and I will get there, eventually. I don’t want to be one of those that collapses along the way and finds the well and palm trees right at the edge of their fingertips at the point that they gave up. I plan on being the one who survives every tests and who makes it to the well. And if that well is dry, I plan on being the one who treks on until I find the well that is full, of all my dreams and all that God has in store for me. I am told that I am stronger than I give myself credit for and looking back on just how far I have come in this journey of mine, without giving up even once, I am starting to realize that maybe they are right.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

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Some Things Just Can’t Be Shared

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Some things Cant be shared

“Stop telling your BIG dreams to small-minded people”

~Steve Harvey

I keep seeing the above quote by Steve Harvey pop up in my Facebook timeline as if a sign and Saturday it became so much more relevant to me. It’s interesting when people who don’t have their own business and who don’t have a childhood dream that they’re trying to bring into fruition attempt to tell someone who does what is and isn’t important. Someone actually remarked that an out of town Skate trip was more important than anything else I could possibly have had going on.

Now anyone who is friends with me on Facebook knows that I have developed a big interest in skating (roller skating) and that I really enjoy it and the people that I have met through it a lot. It’s a form of exercise for me and my daughter and it’s a big stress reliever for me when the rest of the world seems to not be going quite the way I want it to go. However, while it has become a lifestyle for others it is not my lifestyle, my lifestyle is writing and things that foster my craft and my business. I am not going to waste (and yes I said waste) money on something when my dream needs my investment.

It is a reminder (a constant one) that I can’t expect everyone to understand how important my business and my craft of writing is to me and my livelihood and my way of living. I can’t expect people who don’t have bigger goals for themselves then just the immediate present and what’s happening right now to understand the mind of a person who has outrageously big dreams that are only the beginnings of an empire.

It does get frustrating when I have to keep explaining that what’s important to others is not necessarily what is important to me but that’s where my problem lies. I shouldn’t have to explain it, in fact I don’t have to keep explaining myself. My big dreams are mine and mine alone and God gave this vision to me so I’m going to stop sharing my vision with people who are simply not like-minded and who wouldn’t understand. Some people’s vision just doesn’t fully expand and I can’t let their lack of understanding in my dream cause me to doubt my vision.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

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Trapped Inside My Own Head

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Trapped inside my head 1

Knowing is not always half the battle. I know that’s the saying that people like to quote when people admit their flaws and faults. As if to provide comfort and some optimism in the fact that somehow you knowing where you fall short at should propel you into making choices that will progress you as you move forward. Generally I believe that if you don’t know or admit the problem or the flaw that you can’t fix it, however, there are instances where just knowing where you fall short at doesn’t actually help you move forward.

I can admit that I am a person that may at times be too tapped into my emotions, so much so that when I screw up an opportunity or I get down about things not going the direction I want or think they should be I completely shut down creatively. That is actually one of my major flaws that I recognize about myself. I get depressed too quickly when things go in the wrong direction and it takes me far too long to come out of that depression and during the time that I am depressed, quite frankly, I don’t feel creative and I don’t feel much like writing. It’s pretty much the opposite of the typical stereotype of writers, that depression makes writers write masterpieces. I know this about me and I know that it’s something that I need to correct but I’m not sure how.

It’s completely frustrating because I’m in this funk and I can feel myself sinking deeper and deeper into it but on the flip side of that there are all of these ideas that I have and these plans that I want to get accomplished and when it comes down to it, I simply can’t get it done. I always thought that writer’s block was the worst thing that a writer could go through but it’s so much more frustrating to not be blocked as far as ideas and material but yet still not be able to produce anything.

I refuse to give up but it’s tough to see other writers around me coming up with beautiful pieces of work and being successful at their craft and meanwhile I’m too much in an emotional funk to actually produce anything. I want out of this phase but I don’t know how to get out. I don’t know how to just set aside my emotional issues and take these ideas I have building up in my head and just put them on paper. I need to figure this out or else all of my opportunities are just going to slip right through my fingers and I won’t have anyone else to blame but myself.

So if anyone who reads my blog has any suggestions on how I can pull myself out of this funk, this gloomy phase and get out of my own head to finish these projects that I really need to get done, don’t hesitate to suggest something. Everyone needs help at times and oftentimes it’s the help from people who don’t know you personally that could make all the difference. I don’t want to waste this purpose that God has given me so how do I get out of my own head?

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

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It’s All in the Small Signs We Sometimes Ignore

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Small signs 1

So I just did my very first radio interview this morning for none other than Cyrus Webb of Conversations Live and I have to admit that I was nervous to do it. I have never been big on public speaking which is ironic since I have such a huge message that I want to share with the world. I know that it is something that I must get used to but today I was visibly (well to myself because there was no one else in the room) nervous. I could literally feel my heart racing because I am always worried I won’t say the right things and that I won’t express the Write 2 Be message fully and eloquently. Cyrus immediately made me feel at ease and it was extremely exciting to do this radio interview with him and I was so honored.

In doing the interview it not only allowed me to do something that I was afraid of (speaking publically) but it also showed me that fear does not have to win and that I can conquer my fears, even if only one fear at a time. It is important to remember that fear is okay. Anyone who says that they don’t have any fears is probably not aware of theirs or in denial. The important thing is to conquer those fears and not just give into them. I have many things I am afraid of and as I expressed in my interview this morning one of my biggest fears used to be of being myself. Now of course in recent years I have gradually gotten over that and have learned to be okay with being different and unique but I won’t lie and say that there aren’t still moments when I doubt myself.

Talking to Cyrus this morning also made me realize just how important the work that I am doing with my brand is. It made me realize just how many people are still nervous and afraid to be themselves and who still feel the need to apologize for being who they are and that is something that I most certainly feel the need to work on changing. There is not one person in this world who should have to ever apologize for being who they are and if people realized that the world would be a much kinder, accepting, and peaceful place. God made us who we are and who we will eventually become as we grow and there should never be any shame in that nor should we try and change that.

If we open up to one another and have more in depth conversations with the people around us, the people who we know are struggling with who they are, the people who haven’t even begun to discover themselves yet because they are trying so hard to be someone else, they wouldn’t feel so alone and lost. My interview this morning reinforced just how important my message is and how I am the right person for this message. I have never been more clear than I am today at what God’s purpose is for me and this interview, what it did for me, was not only gave me a little extra boost of confidence that I needed, but it also felt like a sign from God saying to me that I was on the right path and not to worry. A sign that I will not ignore and will not take for granted.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

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A Point of Light

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Point of Light

I came across a speech that Tyler Perry made at a conference a couple of weeks ago, nothing too long but as always with anything he has to say it was extremely effective. He spoke about having and being a point of light. Of how we all have that person or those people who have a certain power to pull you out of those deep dark places that your mind can tend to go to when you are struggling along your journey to success. Or that can physically rescue you from a situation that you should no longer be in anymore. He also spoke of how we too can be that point of light for others and that maybe some of us already have been that for people and we may not even realize it. He spoke of how whatever we do in this life should have a purpose, a point, that can help others pull themselves out of that dark place.

After I finished watching his speech I thought about how I hope that I could someday be that for someone else because I could already pinpoint at least three people who have been that point of light for me. Then I thought about my blog and how, even though I am mostly just expressing my own thoughts or opinions about things, sometimes I will come across a comment that someone left me telling me how something I wrote inspired them or helped them that particular day. It gives me chills to think that I might actually be doing what I set out to do when I created my Write 2 Be brand and that all of the ideas that I have for Write 2 Be to inspire others and be a guiding point for those who are cautiously walking along the path of who they are meant to be.

The whole message of Write 2 Be is to get people to understand that you don’t have to worry about what other people or society thinks about, that you should focus on being the very best version of yourself that you can because as much as society can voice their opinion about someone doing this or that, they can’t be that person, they can’t be you. My message is strongly geared at children, particularly those who have been or are being bullied for being different, for being unique, and being special so that these future creative geniuses won’t apologize for being different and so that they don’t feel that they need to be anybody else but who they were born to be. They have that right to be whoever it is they want to be, whoever it is that God placed them on this earth to be.

So I hope that Write 2 Be will be that point of light for these young creative geniuses coming up, and even for the ones who have already created their little niche but struggle with wanting to fit in with everyone else who might not have your unique vision and perspective. I certainly think that Tyler Perry and Oprah Winfrey, and Cyrus Webb are points of light and of course my best friend who is a media mogul in the making LaMonique Hamilton. They are people who inspire me and show me that if you want something bad enough you can make your dream happen but not only that, that you can help others make their dreams happen as well just by not being afraid to fulfill your purpose and be unapologetically yourself.

So find time this weekend to honor your points of light but also to most importantly be a point of light for others. There is no other more rewarding feeling than knowing that something you did or said helped or inspired someone else, that you were the light that pulled them through, even if only part of the way!

 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

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Success Doesn’t Come Early for Everyone…And Sometimes That’s a Good Thing

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Success late in life 2

I know I’m not the only person who, growing up, didn’t look at some of these child TV and music stars and think to themselves “that could or should be me” or “I’m just as good as them if not better”. Most children will say it to themselves and ten minutes later not even give it a second thought. However, if you were an artistic child, a creative type, someone who always aimed to color outside the lines simply because the lines limited the creation that you dreamt up in your mind, then you probably really meant it when you thought it. I know that I did.

I had visions of being a singer by the time I was in my early twenties (and that was at the latest) and a New York Times Best Selling Author at least by the time I turned twenty-five. With each passing year that my dream slipped by me I grew more and more doubtful of the talents that not only I thought I had but that mostly everyone around me had seen. I would look at the lives of these child stars being played out in the media for all the world to see and think I should be traveling from this place to that place and singing on this stage and that one, doing countless television appearances for my latest novel on the NY Times list and having my pick of any place I wanted to live without any worries.

Now don’t get me wrong, I was never jealous. I am always happy when I see someone succeeding (well someone deserving anyway—hey I’m not a saint and yes I do think that some do not deserve the success they have), I just happen to have always thought I should be one of them. And even when I saw child stars blowing it, royally, getting arrested, getting hooked on drugs, having issues with alcoholism, going bankrupt and just throwing away all of their money on such frivolous things, I would think they just don’t know how to appreciate what they have.

But of course you cannot be envious of everyone’s life because you don’t know what it’s like to walk in their shoes and be under the pressure that they are and to literally be under a microscope for everyone to see your mistakes. A lot of them don’t make it, they wash out, and they give up before they even hit thirty and then the public is left to wonder “where are they now”. When I think about it in those terms, I have to wonder if maybe God knew that that life was not meant for me to have at such that young of an age.

Obviously I can’t say with an absolute certainty that I wouldn’t have been humble enough to appreciate that kind of life at that early of an age but looking back, with my childhood, I definitely think that I would have had more access to some coping mechanisms that I would have more than gladly (at that time anyway) taken advantage of. I can’t say that I would have known how to handle the life I say I wanted at that time. I was very starved for things around that young age and into my twenties because at that time I hadn’t learned how to love myself yet and I thought things were going to heal what was wrong on the inside so that is probably where my money would have went. And honestly, as suicidal as I was during that time period I can’t say that I would even still be here anymore if I had gotten the lifestyle that I thought I wanted at that time.

I wasn’t humble enough to appreciate those things at that stage of my life. I think God knew exactly what he was doing and he knew that I had to heal the inside of me first before I could truly appreciate a lifestyle that was on the next level. I think that when you get to live that kind of life at such a young age and that is all that you know, then you don’t know or appreciate what it is to be without it. Success doesn’t last for everyone and when I think of all of those that have succeeded in the ways that I plan to succeed (Russell Simmons, Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, Bill Gates, etc.) then I think about the fact that none of them attained success early on. They all had a humbling life before they achieved all of the success that they have now. That humble life allows them to appreciate the things and abilities that they have even more because they know what it’s like not to have them.

I think those who attained success without any effort, without any failures are actually at a disadvantage because they don’t know how to handle having nothing. They don’t know what failure feels like to appreciate the feeling of succeeding. Oftentimes we tend to want to rush into things because we see what we want to see. The outcome that we perceive may be one that is unrealistic and possibly not even going to be what is in our best interest but our perception can be clouded. I think that we sometimes need the experience of many failures to appreciate the reward that is coming down the line. Our mistakes are what breeds the foundation for our successes and when we learn to not just embrace them but to be proud of them and celebrate them then we will be even more prepared for the successes in life that we say we want.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

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