The Never Ending Balancing Act: Structure versus Spontaneity

Change versus Spontaneity post

I’ve been thinking over the weekend about change. There are a lot of experts that advise you that change is good and that you shouldn’t be resistant to it. Then you have plenty of experts on the opposite end of the spectrum that say that setting deadlines is a good thing and that having structure and routine is something that can help stabilize someone’s life and help them to stay focused on the journey ahead of them.

I tend to lean more to the side of routine and structure, perhaps I lean a little too far in to it. It’s no secret to anyone who truly knows me that no matter how open I appear to be to change and spontaneity, I am extremely resistant to it. I’d like to say that I’ve only recently grown a barrier to the idea of change but I think I’ve always been this way since I was a little girl. I like knowing what’s going to happen, to know the way the day is going to go and precisely what I’ll be doing and when. That kind of structure pretty much guarantees the same outcome and while that may seem boring to some, it’s also safe. I guess the problem is that it may be a little too safe.

The odd thing is that the kind of life I’ve always dreamed of having for myself, since I was ten years old, could never be possible without embracing the idea of change and being spontaneous. There are a lot of things that I would change about my life and one of the things at the top of that list is my resistance to change itself, and my anxiety over the things that I do not know. So what is the right way to go about things?

Do you go with throwing caution to the wind and embracing every change that comes your way or do you plan and set deadlines and stick to a structure that helps keep you on track? I suppose that is what I struggle with because I want to be spontaneous and accept whatever changes may come my way but then I lose my balance and the shifts that begin to happen don’t allow me to stay focused and on track. Where is the middle ground on change versus structure? Is there a good balance between being overtly open to every changing scenario and still keeping enough structure to stay on course?

It’s easy for me to just say that structure is what works for me and leave it at that but if it was truly working then I would be where I want to be by now. Perhaps the very reason I haven’t reached that next level just yet is because I’m too afraid to reach out and grab the ledge above me because that means I would have to actually let go. To let go is scary. That means I have to trust what’s coming next, in an outcome that I can’t see.

Change is necessary to go to the next step on my journey and I know that but it’s hard to not know how things will turn out. So I guess the question is can I have structure and still fully open myself up to change or am I just going to keep holding on to the things that I already know. I don’t know how I truly feel about letting go of the structure that keeps me so grounded but I guess this year (my year of no excuses) will help me see just how open I can be.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/ 

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

https://www.facebook.com/confessionsoftheunpleasantlyplump

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv 

https://twitter.com/write2bemag 

Advertisements

The Freedom of Being Vulnerable

Freedom in being Vulnerable 1

Let’s talk about being vulnerable! There is a certain sense of freedom that lies in being yourself and not caring what others think of what you say or do. Now I don’t mean treating anyone bad or not caring about other people’s feelings in general. I mean not letting other people’s opinions of you and what you do in your life affect how you feel about yourself or how you conduct your life.

Too many times we agonize over, not just the important life decisions that we have to make, but also how people are going to perceive the decisions that we have made. No one else’s opinions should weigh that heavily on our minds. I say this having struggled with the disease of caring too much myself but I have done a lot of work to get to a point where I no longer care about what other people feel about what I do anymore. I mean yeah I take critique and advice but in the end the choice will be something that I want not what someone else wants me to choose.

Being yourself and trusting that people will accept you, with all your flaws, is allowing yourself to be vulnerable and being vulnerable is what allows you to open up and do things that you otherwise would normally never do. Being vulnerable allows you to be more fearless and to courageously pursue your goals and dreams. Being yourself affords you the ability to stop feeling the need to apologize for being ambitious and focused on what your needs are to achieve your future goals.

I don’t think you can truly go for what you want without allowing yourself to feel a certain amount of vulnerability. So when you start worrying about what everyone else thinks about what you’re doing in your life, stop. How other people view you is not something that you should concern yourself with because if someone has their mind made up about you already then there’s nothing you can do to change that. Trust in yourself and who you are and let that be enough to propel you towards your destination.

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

https://write-2-be.com/

http://write2bemagazine.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://www.facebook.com/Write2BeMagazine

https://www.facebook.com/confessionsoftheunpleasantlyplump

https://twitter.com/jcladyluv

https://twitter.com/write2bemag