In the Moments When You Think You’ve Failed

 

 

failing post

I was having a moment the other day. Actually I had a few moments over the course of the past weekend. You know those moments when you just question and second guess every single little thing that you’re doing because you’re not sure if you’re really doing anything right. There were some things that weren’t going right in my actual writing the other day so it made me question whether I’m even still any good at this writing thing I love so much or am I just wasting my time. I looked at my numbers (my stats)on my blog posts and on the posts on the magazine and even though they were going up the increase just wasn’t matching up with the effort that I was putting in so it made me wonder if I was doing enough or was I just not good enough in that department either.

There were some other little personal things that I was having issues with which I’d rather not go into detail about that were making me question myself as well. Then my daughter and I had a, how shall I say, difference of opinion on something that made her upset with me (when I felt like there wasn’t any reason for her to be—typical teenage stuff) and because of all of the other little moments I had been having I was already feeling on the edge of having my emotions spill over so that moment with her just made me feel like I was now failing in the mom department as well. I’m not going to lie, I shed a few tears this past weekend because I just felt like nothing I was doing was good enough or right and I felt like I was literally failing at everything.

Then I went to church Sunday and my pastor’s message was about being ready to (fittingly enough) deal with adversity in life. He talked about how adversity makes you stronger and how nothing you ever achieve in life will be achieved without going through some great adversity. He talked about trusting in the relationship that you have with God and in the fact that while it may often times seem like things aren’t going right, that they aren’t going just the way you think they ought to go, and even how sometimes it may seem like the path you’ve chosen is wrong because of the turmoil or hard times you may be going through, that you have to not only trust God through the hard times or the uncertainties, but you have to trust that the relationship that you have built with God is strong enough to get you through those times until you reach the light on the other end of what seems like total darkness.

It’s not the ease of life that is what lets us know that we are fulfilling the purpose we are here to fulfill, but rather the strength that we discover in ourselves when we have come out of the hard times. That strength that propels us forward and allows us to keep moving, battle scars and all, to the next level is what lets us know that in the end we only fail if we never put up a fight. So even though I had my moments where I felt like I was failing at everything that I was doing, I realized on Sunday, that as long as I was still trying, still fighting to get my message out, fighting to fulfill my purpose, fighting to be a good mom and raise my child in the best way that I possibly can, I may not do everything perfect and I may make a lot more mistakes along the way but at least I’m fighting. That alone means I’m winning!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

https://write-2-be.com/

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NaNoWriMo Day # 28: “Winning” the NaNoWriMo Challenge

The end is approaching along with the winner’s circle that everyone speaks of in reference to the NaNoWriMo challenge.  Of course that entails completing the 50,000 words that you signed up to finish in 30 days.  But is that really the only thing that winning the NaNoWriMo challenge means?

Isn’t it winning to just sign up and participate in the NaNoWriMo challenge?  Isn’t it winning to plan out a routine and follow through with carrying out that plan?  Even if you don’t reach 50,000 words, or you get blocked just as you are nearing the finish line, you are still winning the challenge just by trying in the first place.

So many people just think about doing NaNoWriMo and wonder what it would be like to achieve those 50,000 words but they never actually follow through and just do it.  You took that step.  You signed up, you participated, you steadily logged your words in the word count updater, and you hung in there even when your story felt stalled and you probably wanted to give up.  For that, you are every bit the winner regardless of whether you actually made it to 50,000 words.

Of course, if you made it to that ultimate word count goal (or are really close and will make it by the 30th) then congratulations.  But don’t, for one second, think that you not getting there makes you any less of a winner.  You are a winner just for trying in the first place!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

A Lesson in Losing Gracefully

“I get it now; I didn’t get it then.  That life is about losing and about doing it as gracefully as possible…and enjoying everything in between.”

~Mia Farrow 

You know as a parent you only hope that each talk that you have with your child makes an impression, but more importantly that it makes the right impression.  You hope that you communicate the right thing (what you intended) and not that they only hear the opposite of what you are saying.  I guess most of us are all winging it in the parent department because the fact is that the rules keep changing with every generation that comes along.      

Last night I found myself having to explain to my daughter (probably for the hundredth time), after she started pouting because I beat her in a video game, that it is important to know how to be a graceful loser.  Her first response was ‘huh?’ and she clearly didn’t understand what that meant (she’s 8 so that’s understandable).  She said that she always wins that game and didn’t want her record as champion to be erased.  I reminded her that she’s not going to always be able to win and when she does lose at something she needs to learn how to do it gracefully and without pouting about it.  She claimed that she understood but I could tell by the pout that she failed to remove from her face that she didn’t.  

So without taking away her determination to always be a winner (because she’s going to need that in this world) I sat her down and tried to impress upon her that we all want to be winners at everything that we do but it is impossible to win at everything, all of the time.  I reinforced that while it is important that she always tries to do her best at every single thing that she does, that she shouldn’t get discouraged, or throw a tantrum because she doesn’t win.  

Now I don’t know how good a job I did at making her understand the art of losing gracefully (seeing as though I’m still trying to master that myself) but I can only hope that I didn’t suppress her determination to succeed.  Lord only knows that my mother never talked to me about the art of losing or winning with grace so I am really just praying that I’m saying all of the right things.  Until tomorrow…What lessons are you winging it on when it comes to your children? 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress