Tag: adversity

Can You Ever Really Succeed Without Learning to Fail?

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“Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of it.” ~Xavier Dagba

If failure is the pathway to eventual success than I must be well on my way because I have been failing spectacularly. Now obviously it is not ever my goal to fail at any of the ventures that I attempt or at publishing my books but perhaps it should be. I know that sounds crazy. Why would anyone actually want to fail? In a perfect world and in the best scenario all of the things that I put out there and am passionate about would not only do well but would exceed my expectations. However, this isn’t a perfect world and after thinking over it for quite a while I came to the realization that I might not have learned half of the things I know without having failed first.

Really think about it. If every single time we try something and we win, what do we ever learn? I mean sure we learn how to be gracious winners (hopefully anyway) and we move up to the next level of what we are striving for, but does that actually teach us anything in life. After all, if you’re not learning in this life then what are we really here for? The tough and valuable lessons are learned in moments of adversity and struggle.

If I had it my way, or the financial means, I would be what some would call a forever student. I would gladly take class after class, degree program, after degree program, to learn all of the things I desire to know. I suppose being a creative entrepreneur is not really any different because with each venture you go after, you learn new things. You learn what you did right, sure, but more importantly, you learn, through failure, what not to do the next time. This makes me look at the idea of failure a lot differently.

When you think that you’ve learned all that you can then you don’t see the value in the lessons life is trying to teach you. You can’t grow if you think that you’re done learning. I think that adversity is the ultimate teacher in life and perhaps we shouldn’t complain about the valley’s that we dip so low down into. We have to realize that without the lows that feel like you can’t get back up, you never truly appreciate the highs where you can see just how far along you’ve come. So, the next time you feel like the Universe has knocked you down and dealt you a really tough blow, think about what the Universe is trying to teach you. What lesson is there to learn in that particular failure? And then take that lesson into battle with you the next time you get up to fight for that dream another day.

Until next time… #BeBold #BeFearless #BeGrateful

Jimmetta Carpenter

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In the Moments When You Think You’ve Failed

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failing post

I was having a moment the other day. Actually I had a few moments over the course of the past weekend. You know those moments when you just question and second guess every single little thing that you’re doing because you’re not sure if you’re really doing anything right. There were some things that weren’t going right in my actual writing the other day so it made me question whether I’m even still any good at this writing thing I love so much or am I just wasting my time. I looked at my numbers (my stats)on my blog posts and on the posts on the magazine and even though they were going up the increase just wasn’t matching up with the effort that I was putting in so it made me wonder if I was doing enough or was I just not good enough in that department either.

There were some other little personal things that I was having issues with which I’d rather not go into detail about that were making me question myself as well. Then my daughter and I had a, how shall I say, difference of opinion on something that made her upset with me (when I felt like there wasn’t any reason for her to be—typical teenage stuff) and because of all of the other little moments I had been having I was already feeling on the edge of having my emotions spill over so that moment with her just made me feel like I was now failing in the mom department as well. I’m not going to lie, I shed a few tears this past weekend because I just felt like nothing I was doing was good enough or right and I felt like I was literally failing at everything.

Then I went to church Sunday and my pastor’s message was about being ready to (fittingly enough) deal with adversity in life. He talked about how adversity makes you stronger and how nothing you ever achieve in life will be achieved without going through some great adversity. He talked about trusting in the relationship that you have with God and in the fact that while it may often times seem like things aren’t going right, that they aren’t going just the way you think they ought to go, and even how sometimes it may seem like the path you’ve chosen is wrong because of the turmoil or hard times you may be going through, that you have to not only trust God through the hard times or the uncertainties, but you have to trust that the relationship that you have built with God is strong enough to get you through those times until you reach the light on the other end of what seems like total darkness.

It’s not the ease of life that is what lets us know that we are fulfilling the purpose we are here to fulfill, but rather the strength that we discover in ourselves when we have come out of the hard times. That strength that propels us forward and allows us to keep moving, battle scars and all, to the next level is what lets us know that in the end we only fail if we never put up a fight. So even though I had my moments where I felt like I was failing at everything that I was doing, I realized on Sunday, that as long as I was still trying, still fighting to get my message out, fighting to fulfill my purpose, fighting to be a good mom and raise my child in the best way that I possibly can, I may not do everything perfect and I may make a lot more mistakes along the way but at least I’m fighting. That alone means I’m winning!

Jimmetta Carpenter

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The Hand We Were Dealt

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“Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.”

~Arthur Golden

“That which doesn’t kill us can only make us stronger.”  It’s a phrase that quite frankly I sometimes get tired of hearing but as cliché as it may sound the statement is very much true.  Often times we get overwhelmed by things that are simply beyond our control and aren’t really able to step away from the situation and discover the value in the hardship.  Difficult times can also be good times in the sense that our struggles not only make us better but they make us stronger as well.  With life there comes adversity and while we don’t exactly expect it nor look for it and we most certainly don’t enjoy experiencing it, it is inevitable but most importantly it is necessary.    

There are many faces of adversity and many lessons that it teaches us.  One of the more important ones that I have come to take to heart is that when one door closes there will be another one to open.  The thing is that you have to stop dwelling on the door that has just closed in order to see the other doors that are opening up for you.  There are many starters in life, however, very few people actually finish what it is they started.  When we want something and experience obstacles on the way to our goals we can’t just give up because it gets too hard.  Everything that is meant for us to have in life is not going to come easily.  Instead of focusing solely on the obstacles that are standing in our way we have to persevere long enough and have enough self-control and discipline in what it is that we want and go that extra mile to obtain it. 

We can’t just get the sweet out of life without getting a little bit of the bitter.  If there were nothing to challenge us how could we truly be able to enjoy our accomplishments and be proud of our successes?  Part of succeeding through any adversity is hanging on even when deep down inside you really want to let go.  It is in the bitter moments that we find our inner strengths and are able to discover what we are really made of.  Adversity is bound to be a part of our lives but how well we come out on the other side of it greatly depends on the way we choose to face it.  I think that with the bitter that we get in life we become even more equipped to appreciate the sweet and not take what it is that we do have for granted. 

“If you live with a problem long enough it could eventually become your blessing.”  Sometimes adversity presents itself in our lives solely for the purpose of change.  Change in our beliefs, change in the way we think and the way we view things.  Even change in the way that we view ourselves.  Despite that little voice inside your head that constantly tells you that you can’t do it, there is a solution to every problem and a way to overcome any and every obstacle.  You just have to change with the situation and keep reminding yourself that you can do anything as long as you have the determination and the will to do it.  It isn’t the hardship in itself that stops us dead in our tracks on the way to our destination.  It is us refusing to change the focus of where we are going and not being willing to accept that an obstacle has come along and we just have to change our course of action and redirect ourselves.  I believe that everything happens in our lives for a reason and that there is a lesson in every mistake that we make and a blessing in every obstacle that we overcome.   But if we don’t somehow embrace the situation and the cards that were dealt to us and stop wasting time dodging all of our roadblocks instead of facing them head on then we may just end up missing the bigger picture. 

Jimmetta Carpenter

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