complaining – Write 2 Be

“Instead of complaining that the rosebush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.”

~Proverb

The other day my daughter was having a particularly moody day and she seemed to be complaining about everything. I was really tired of hearing her complain but she gets it honestly because I am also a big time complainer and whiner (still working on getting better at that). So I decided to convey to her what I had learned over the years of my life and am still in the process of learning as I struggle to curtail my need to complain on a regular basis. I told her that if she stops complaining and whining about the things that she has no control over, she could actually start to realize and appreciate the benefits of what it is she’s complaining about. Essentially if she changes her attitude about things she may find that she actually enjoys them or at the very least can learn from them.

I only wish that I had realized that a long time ago. Even now, while I don’t complain about things nearly as much as I used to, I still have a problem with feeling the need to complain my way through a hard time. At the end of the situation the only thing that I really managed to do was waste a lot of time that I can’t ever get back. I took so much extra time that I didn’t have to work my way through whatever problem it was that didn’t need to be thrown away and it didn’t erase the problem, it only made it take longer to get through.

Being a mom teaches you so many lessons that sometimes never really sink in until you are having those teachable moments with your own children. More than likely your parents tried to have those same teachable moments with you and they just didn’t stick. Attitude has a lot to do with how situations are managed and how you deal with them. If you can change your attitude, you can ultimately change your situation.

I have discovered that complaining about any given problem only gives that problem power over your life and over your circumstances. So in order to take that power away from the problem, you’ve got to stop complaining about it and in a sense dwelling over it. Once you do stop and change your attitude about the situation you will find that you can get through the problem in a more positive and productive way that won’t waste a whole lot of time that you don’t have. My daughter said that she understood what I was trying to say (but she’s 8 so I believe it went in one ear and out the other) but even if she didn’t get it while I was saying it, I hope that it will sink in eventually. Until tomorrow…Don’t complain your way through your struggles, smile your way through it and it will be over before you know it.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

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“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.”

~Shirley MacLaine

In life you tend to get back what you give out. At least that is what most people will say about how a person should perceive things. I was watching the news this morning and they have these motivational minutes where the guy will give a tip for success for the day. Today’s tip, in so many words, was that in order to have and attract success in your life that you have to wipe out the negativity surrounding you and get rid of those thoughts of what you can’t do and what you don’t have and just focus on what you can do and what you do have.

This ties into getting back what you give out because I suppose if all you hear is people around you telling you that you can’t do something, or that what you want to happen for yourself can’t happen, you start to believe it then you are putting out that negative energy. In turn all you are going to get back is negative results. This struck a nerve with me because it seems that the more positive I try to be about my circumstances, and about my dreams and what I want out of life, the more I get negative backlash from other people, one of whom happens to be my mother, who I should get the most support from.

When people say that you have to cut out the negativity from your life in order to really make your way towards success you never want that to include family. I am sadly realizing, or should I say accepting, that my mother is one of those people. When I make the mistake of sharing my ambitions with her she never fails to tell me that she thinks my dreams are impossible and that I am not living in reality. But if I only focus on what isn’t going right and what I have not managed to accomplish just yet then I would never move forward and enjoy all that I do have and the things that I have managed to achieve.

It’s true that lately everything has not fallen in line the way that I wanted them to, especially within this last year. However, no matter what, I will always keep pushing through and propelling myself towards accomplishing what it is I want. A person’s dreams are not just going to magically come true overnight but complaining about the bumps along the road is not going to change things one way or the other, so why waste that time that could be better spent.

There is always going to be that one person around you that will make sure to run down the list of the things that you can’t get done and rub in your face what you don’t have. But instead of listening to them you have to ask yourself why it is that they feel the need to tear you down and what is it that they don’t have that they are trying so hard to take away from you. Until the next time…try to enjoy the things that you have accomplished and keep building on those accomplishments!