Even an Icon Like Oprah Can Have Fear

“The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power. Facing the truth really will set you free.”

~Oprah Winfrey 

This morning Oprah was on the CBS This Morning show and she was promoting her network, OWN.  She talked about a lot of different things but one thing that struck me was when she admitted that if she knew then (when starting the network) what she knows now she probably wouldn’t have done it (or at least not at the time that she did it).  She acknowledged that when she launched her network she was not ready.  In fact that was one of the lessons that she took away from her process of starting the network, that you shouldn’t launch something just because you already gave a date to everyone else if you are not ready to.  

That was both shocking and admirable to me and just made me want to model my business sense (that I am still trying to mold) after the road she has already paved for the women coming after her even more.  She spoke of the critics in the press who have criticized her brave but somewhat dismal start to her cable network, and one headline, “Oprah not quite standing on her OWN”, that she tries not to let dictate whether she is in fact succeeding or failing at her new endeavor.  In her words, “it’s just press”.  She said that because you fail at something (which her network is in no way failing) doesn’t mean that you are a failure.  

It made me start to think about that good old fear of failure that I can’t seem to shake for the life of me.  Why am I so afraid to fail?  It’s not as if my failing at any given thing would mean that it’s the end of the road for me and my dreams.  In my heart I know this but my head (or perhaps that little devilish angel sitting on my shoulder) keeps telling me that if I fail even one more time at something then that’s it, I’m just destined to be a failure.  If only I could shake that demon trying to creep its way into my subconscious every time I think I’m going to get somewhere.  But maybe that’s just it.  Maybe it creeps in because I am getting somewhere.  

My best friend, Ms. L. always says that when everything starts to begin to go wrong that she knows she must be doing something right.  She says that it just means that the devil is working overtime to stop the progress she is making.  And look at Ms. L., she just launched her magazine, PIEhole (of which I have an article in) and it’s taken off better than I think even she expected it to (although I knew it would).  Although she never acknowledged being afraid as often as she probably was, she never let that fear stop her.  

Hell, if Oprah can have the courage to admit that she was afraid of something (because it seems that she just does this stuff so fearlessly) but that she pressed on anyway, then why couldn’t that be my story down the line as well?  I know that I would never want to be doing anything else and I truly feel as though God instilled in me this specific purpose and I owe it to him, if not myself, to see that purpose through.  As Oprah also said in her interview, “There’s never going to be a time to quit.  I will die in the midst of doing what I love to do and that is using my voice and using my life to try to inspire other people to live the best of theirs.” 

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

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http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

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Am I Letting the Devil Steal What is Rightfully Mine?

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”

-1 Peter 5:8 

I had one of those deep thought provoking conversations today at the gym with the guy that’s training me.  It always seems like we have those conversation exactly when my mind is filling itself with a bunch of doubt and lack of motivation.  As the conversation went on and I shared more of my doubts (fears really) he asked me a very important question that stumped me for a minute but was one that I think all of us self-doubters need to ask ourselves.  He asked me ‘Why are you letting Satan steal what’s yours?’  

He went on to say that with all of the gifts that I possess and the purpose that I was placed here on this earth to do I am in line for so many great successes and abundant rewards, but every time I let that doubt settle in my mind I am allowing Satan to steal what’s mine, little by little.  I had never thought about my many bouts of doubt that way.  He’s right.  I never realized that that was what I was doing.  I never knew that I was giving the Devil that much authority over the journey of my life, and inevitably, over the destination that I arrive at.  

I feel like I do follow the guidance of God on my path but it didn’t dawn on me that those obstacles and bumps on the road that I keep hitting were the Devil capitalizing on my own self-doubt.  I don’t always doubt myself but on the days that I do I seem to be continuously leaving a crack in the door for Satan to work his way in there and steal my successes and my rewards, leaving me feeling more doubtful than ever.  I get what the Devil is trying to do now and I don’t plan on leaving that door open anymore, not even a tiny crack.  

I know what I’m worth and I know what my words are worth.  I know that God has given me a purpose to fulfill and I can not continue to doubt what he has told me I should be doing.  If he didn’t feel that I was up to the task, he wouldn’t have constructed the task solely for me.  It is nothing but the Devil that has me doubting myself and I admit that he was been really busy with me lately.  Well the Devil can continue to be busy, but just not with me, not anymore. 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://write-2-be.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

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Still Standing

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.
— Eleanor Roosevelt

When I started writing this blog post the other day I was questioning everything from whether I am really as good of a writer as I think I am, to if I really had enough strength in me to do what I believe I am destined to do.  I was beginning to feel as if the tunnel that I am in is getting longer and darker with no light at the end.  It felt like all of the walls were closing in on me and that I was going to be suffocated underneath the rumble.  I was completely defeated, feeling all out of my share of miracles and the devil had a tight grip on me.  I had almost surrendered.  Almost.

And then I had a conversation with my best friend in which she said something that reminded me that I already knew all of the answers to the questions that I had and that the one thing that I am not is a quitter.  As I was talking to her I got a link in my e-mail to her latest blog post, The Vision Cannot Wait, which was just the icing on the cake of what I needed.  It reminded me that what I believe I am destined to do is a part of a vision that I have had for myself since I was six years old.  In twenty four years I had never let go of that vision and I was not going to let the devil take my vision away now.

The devil is always busy but it seems like he’s been really working on me a lot lately.  He has been throwing every obstacle at me that he knew would stop me dead in my tracks.  Picking away at any part of me he knows to be vulnerable.  Plucking away all of the petals of a purposeful flower, holding it back from its full bloom.  I have been up against so many walls lately, hell it seems like my whole life has been an obstacle course.  But lucky for me, the devil is no match for God.     

God has his way of stepping right in when you feel yourself sinking under.  Just as you throw your hands up to tell him that you can’t take any more, he is already there relieving you of your load.  He may not come to rescue you before the storm passes, but he will never let you drown.  While I know that I shouldn’t, there are times when I forget that.  There are times that I forget the strength that God instilled me with.  I just have to keep reminding myself that those walls that are blocking my view of that light at the end of this tunnel won’t always be there. 

I have faith that if I just keep putting in the work and jumping over all of the hurdles that come along that my vision will become a reality.  There is a reason why I am still standing, still surviving, still dreaming, and still pushing and its called purpose.  That phone call from my best friend reminded me of the strength that I sometimes forget that I have inside.  My determination to see my vision become a reality is stronger than any attempts the devil makes to take it way.  If nothing else I am a survivor and this storm too shall pass and I will still be standing when it does.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://jayceedurant.wordpress.com/

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http://freemynd.wordpress.com/

http://spokenlikeaqueen.blogspot.com/ 

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