Tag: Success

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There Are No Other Options

June 25, 2014 jcladyluv

It’s a sad thing that there are some people in this world who only want to see you fail. They want to see you as someone you’re not so that they can justify wanting you to have nothing and no one. They will see you with a glimpse of something good, whether it be an innocent friendship or a direction for your life that they may not have, and they want to rip it away from you so that they can have the satisfaction of seeing you knocked down. I don’t understand these people. I don’t operate that way and I don’t understand the people that do.

I am not a person who is very open or trusting and it is true that I don’t have a lot of friends but that is because I’ve had a lot in the past and have been burned by so many that I would just rather not go through the trouble. I think that it is a better thing to have one or two really good friends rather than a whole lot of false ones. I am guarded, extremely guarded, but when I do let people in, then I am a very all in type of person no matter what the nature of the relationship, whether it is business, romantic, or just a friendship.

I also don’t share my dreams with just anyone either, because too many people won’t understand it and they will find ways to trivialize it, or to try and rationalize it and there just simply aren’t any. I am getting used to being the target for people, to people always taking my weaknesses and using them against me, to people taking the things I value the most and treasure deeply and basically demolishing them the best way that they can.

I think the more that people try to knock me down and the more times I have to keep pulling myself back up (and I admittedly stay down way longer than I should) the more I realize that I don’t have any other choice than to succeed at what it is that I am striving to do with my business and with my life in general. I am not only motivated by passion for what I want to do in my business but also by the people that desire to see that I never have it.

I refuse to give the people who want to see me down to nothing the satisfaction of seeing me fail. I just can’t let that be an option. So the only other option I have is to succeed. If that means that I have to be a hardened person who everyone abandons then so be it because when I get to where it is that I am going everyone who ever doubted me, who ever ridiculed me, who ever purposely tried to destroy me, and whoever abandoned me when I needed them the most, well they are going to be the ones who wished that they had held on for the ride. I will not give them the satisfaction. Failure is not an option.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Is Practicality Really Just a Sugarcoated Way of Disguising Our Fears?

June 4, 2014 jcladyluv

I listened to a commencement speech that actor Jim Carey gave at Maharishi University of Management that was very inspiring. He said something that really resonated with me. He said that “So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality—what we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect so we never dare to ask the universe for it.” When I heard that I thought of how true that statement was.

I think that there are a lot of people out there who stay in a position where they don’t really want to be, with claims of simultaneously working on going for their dreams, when all they are truly displaying is their fear of moving forward. I know that I sometimes wonder if I should have continued doing a regular 9 to 5 type of job and focus on my writing career at night until I got a stable footing to do the writing full time. I have various people, friends and associates, some who understand first-hand about the vision that I have because their vision is not far off from mine for their own lives, tell me that I need to go back to the regular 9 to 5 thing to get myself on even better footing. I won’t say that I didn’t think about it (heavily) but I truly feel that I would be doing myself, my art, and my daughter a great disservice if I did that.

Now of course this means that you have to know who you are and know exactly what will and will not work for you because there are some people who can do both simultaneously and make it work extremely well. Their focus is split but yet somehow still all there. I know that for myself that was never going to work out well for long. In actuality it didn’t work which is why I didn’t continue on that way.

Another thing Jim Carey said in his speech was that “You can fail at what you don’t want so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.” I suppose that in that way I have never been fearful. I knew that I would never be able to be happy staying in a position, doing a job that I loathed simply to make an attempt at doing what I love, all the while not being able to dedicate my entire focus to that dream. For me, it was more important to be happy and struggle to make my dreams happen than to live comfortably and be miserable and neglect my dream.

I know that it seems crazy to some, hell most days it seems crazy to me, but I can’t explain how freeing it is to be able to devote my full attention to that of making my dreams a reality and how much pride I take in teaching my daughter that the sacrifices she will eventually make for her dreams will be worth it in the long run. I want her to know that it is okay to dive head first into the life that she wants and that she shouldn’t spend one moment of it (unless she wants to of course) doing something that she can’t put her whole heart into.

I think I will remind myself of Jim Carey’s words the next time I start to question the decisions that I have made to move towards my career in writing. If I am in fact going to fail (which is only really a stepping stone to success anyway) then I might as well be failing at something that I love to do, that I am driven to do, that I can put my whole heart into. I would much rather spend my life working on achieving what matters most to me than spend it helping someone else achieve what matters most to them. I can’t build my own dream up if I am spending the majority of my time building up someone else’s.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Where There is Victory There Are Always Battle Scars

June 3, 2014 jcladyluv

I stay in my own head a lot. I talk myself out of a lot of things, out of opportunities. I tell myself that it won’t happen before even knowing whether it will or not. I convince myself that I’m not good enough or deserving enough. It’s an extremely terrible habit and one that developed from the negative words cast on me in my childhood, but it’s one that I am trying to break. I think that I do that so that if things don’t happen the way I wanted or expected them to I will be less devastated or disappointed by it. However, I have discovered that rejection is not any less painful or devastating just because you prepped your mind for it.

In all actuality, I have realized that that is just a defense mechanism that I need to get away from. It is my subconscious way of sabotaging myself that I didn’t even know I was doing until I started to really try and work on myself and building up that confidence that I seem to lack. I struggle to live up to the potential that I know I have because I so desperately need not to fail. When you feel like you have been failing most of your life (even if that’s not the reality) the last thing you want to continue to do is fail. However, when I put into perspective that not reaching a particular goal is not failure but rather a stepping stone on the way to succeeding then it almost makes failing seem like more of an accomplishment.

When I think of all of the success stories that inspire me, people who have gotten to the place where I am journeying to, I am reminded of all of their failures that were made on their way to finally succeeding. Without those failures they may have never actually achieved the things they set out to do and they most certainly would not appreciate all that it took to get to the point they are at now. I guess it is humbling to get to the top of a jagged road with a lot of bumps, bruises, potholes, and other obstacles thrown in your way rather than the straight road with no detours that you had in your head when you dreamt up those dreams.

I guess I have to stop asking myself do I really have what it takes to make this dream happen and give myself permission to let go of that idea of a straight road, permission to embrace all of the bruises and bumps and potholes as battle scars to be proud of for when I do reach the destination on my journey. I guess I have to give myself credit for how quickly I bounce back and recover from those moments of so-called failures and view them as accomplishing the goal of not staying down when I get knocked on my butt. It’s not the fall that will cripple a person’s drive to succeed, but rather it is how long it takes them to get back up and get back at the grind of making that dream happen.

The most important thing is that you get up and don’t just lay there waiting for someone else to help you back to your feet. Waiting on anyone else to help you with your dreams could result in you never getting back up to move towards them. Take those battle scars that you are accumulating and wear them proudly because when you look back on your journey those scars are going to be there to remind you of just how badly you want to succeed and of everything you went through to make it happen. Those reflections will ensure that you never take for granted the journey you took and that you appreciate even more the victory that has taken place.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Motivation is the Key, But By Who?

May 20, 2014 jcladyluv

I think that in some way, shape, or form, for the better part of my life I have always sought out the encouragement of others. I was always the one wanting those accolades and that reinforcement that I was on the right path and that someone else thought I was talented. I was always looking for someone to show me, or tell me, that I was good enough because for so long I was told that I wasn’t.

As I have gotten older and learned a lot more about myself and my own capabilities I have sought out other’s motivations a lot less and started to learn to begin how to motivate myself that much more. However, there are times when I get too much inside my own head and those doubts and those negative words come back to the forefront of my mind and I start to wonder am I really good enough. I hold myself back from doing a lot of things and I’m not sure if it’s that I truly don’t have all of the resources that I need to really go after these things I want or if it’s that I am afraid that those voices of people who said I wasn’t good enough will be proven right.

I will say that I am getting better with not questioning my own talent and ability so much but I know that I have a long way to go before I have absolutely no doubts in my mind at all. I keep thinking that I am finally past that point where I need someone else to make me feel like I am as good as I think I am most of the time but then it creeps up on me. I need to learn, really learn how to keep myself motivated and not looking to others to reinforce what I already know, deep down inside, to be true.

It is true what they say about motivation being the key to success and the key to leading a life without fears but motivation but who is the question. I think that we writers especially feel like we need to hear those accolades and those words of adoration in order to consider ourselves good which makes sense because writing is in fact a career in which you depend on your readers liking your work to gauge your success.

I find that with the writers who have had that level of success that they sometimes didn’t realize they were looking for, it was often said that they wrote the book that they wanted to read, they wrote for themselves more so than anyone else and that is why their work was such a success. When we do things to please ourselves and not the general public we get more results and we are a lot more satisfied. Maybe there is a lesson in that. You have to give yourself the accolades before you can expect anyone else to give them to you. So have you given yourself the accolades that you deserve lately? If not then start today!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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What’s On the Other Side of Quitting?

May 1, 2014April 30, 2014 jcladyluv

There is nothing that is worth having that comes easy and if it comes too easy then you better beware of the strings that come attached with that feeling of ease. I remind myself of this every time I see someone who (no offense to the less talented) seemingly does not have the talent in one pinky that I have in my whole body achieve their goal (that they just thought up two seconds before actually going for it) practically overnight.

It makes me wonder what the point is of me trying so damn hard and trying to fulfill my purpose because years of dedication still haven’t landed me in the position of the overnight success story. I think about quitting for about 5 seconds (okay sometimes a little longer than that) but then when I think about what is on the other side of me quitting I get right back at it and keep pushing through.

There is no achievement in quitting (unless you’re talking about quitting that job you hate to start the business you love). When you are sitting in the midst of that struggle, and you’re feeling that longing to reach your destination, and you feel like you just can’t wait anymore. Your patience is wearing thin. Just take a minute and think about the other side of the spectrum.

You quitting on your dreams, you essentially quitting on you, leads to a lifetime full of wonder. It leads you to a lifetime full of what ifs and watching everyone reaching their dreams and thinking that should’ve been you. It will forever put you in a place of envisioning something that you just stopped reaching for. It will mean that all of the good in the world, all of the changes that you were supposed to bring about won’t happen now because you quit.

Think about the lives that come after yours that will forever be altered because your dreams didn’t come to fruition and enable them to achieve their dreams. Think of the miracle that achieving your dreams would have brought into someone else’s life if only you had not given up. Think about the fact that victory was probably just around the corner but you just didn’t know it and you gave up right before you could see that light. It costs nothing to dream, to strive for that dream, and to put a plan of action into play in order to achieve that dream. But it could costs everything if you don’t.

You don’t want your legacy to the generation that comes after you to be that you quit and that when things got too hard you found an excuse to give up. Stand up for your dreams, and push your way towards them. Don’t give up. It’s too important for you to reach those goals. Remember it’s not just your life that it affects. It’s the lives of your children, and the generations to come after you. It’s the lives of whoever is meant to be touched by your gift, by your dream, it’s their lives that quitting will affect. When you have a dream, particularly one that services many other people, it is not just about you anymore. So the next time you feel like throwing in the towel take a moment to think about what is really on the other side of quitting.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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What’s Wrong With Seeing the Glass as Half Full?

April 30, 2014 jcladyluv

I have been called unrealistic at times. I have been called the consummate optimist. I go through things just like anyone else. I have my own personal struggles and things that seem to be working against me. I won’t lie and say that my faith doesn’t get shaken when the whole world seems to be caving in on me and yes on occasion I have fallen into depression because things got too hard for me to really deal with. However, overall, I am a person who sees that glass half full rather then choose to see the glass half empty.

But when there are people in your life who are hell bent on seeing the despair in every single situation what do you do about that? Of course the short and easy answer would be to cut them out of your lives or keep the contact with that person limited. But it’s not so easy when that person is in your family or worse, if that person is your parent. I will never understand how people in your own family can seemingly work against everything that you are trying to accomplish and I have seen people whose families are a true piece of work. A friend of mine once told me some words of advice they received from their pastor that your kin is not always your kind.

Often times the biggest obstacles that we have when we are trying to reach our goals are the very people that we are surrounded by and when it is your family it is not always so easy to separate yourself from them. I believe that in order to be successful you are eventually going to have to remove any toxic people from your life that are not for you and what you are trying to do but the process of removal is extremely difficult when it is family, particularly your parent.

My struggles are not few and they’re not even far between but I choose to see them (most days anyway) as building blocks and stepping stones towards the brightest future that’s possible for me, brighter than even I could ever imagine. Anyone who would rather see my struggles as the beginning of a downward spiral that I am not going to be able to come back from, well they can just keep their distance from me. I don’t need that kind of negative thinking to corrupt me. I battle with my own negative thoughts that pop in my mind from time to time and I don’t need to add anyone else’s.

Where is the harm in me seeing the bright side of things? Why is it that because I don’t view every setback as a complete and total failure that I am suddenly not in touch with reality. One way or the other you have to go after your dreams, even when everything seems like it’s all going down the drain. Even if that means that you can’t include the people closest to you in on that journey. If they are not for you then they are against you. There is no in between. So if you are a glass half full type of person, you are not alone. Take care and stay optimistic!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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A Dream Worth Sustaining

April 25, 2014 jcladyluv

I will admit that when the going gets tough I want to get going. I don’t mean that I want to push through and hang in there either. I mean I literally just want to say I’ve had enough, I can only try so much, this must not be meant for me. However when my dream of being a writer comes into play, while I have had those feelings of giving up, my heart, my passion won’t let me.

There is nothing more rewarding in a writer’s career then to have business be doing great and everything is going the way that you want it to. The point where it is hard to be a writer, where it’s almost like you want to ask yourself what the point of it is, is when business is not going as great as you want it to be, or as great as you always envisioned it would be. You always get this picture in your mind, especially when you think of yourself as a pretty awesome writer (in which I do) that everything is going to go smoothly and fall into place just the way that it should. You imagine a booming business in which you have to turn work away because you are just so in demand. When the reality doesn’t match the vision it is difficult to deal with.

My reality, lately, has certainly not lived up to the vision that is in my mind and at times it is almost disheartening and quite frankly almost impossible to push through and keep moving forward. Nothing is going quite the way I planned but I guess if it were easy then it wouldn’t be worth it, right? This weekend I have to work out some ways to readjust my strategy and to think of other ways to turn things around. Maybe all the extra sleep I’ve caught up on this week was to allow me to spend my weekend strategizing until I find something that works. I don’t know what that will be but I know that I haven’t come this far to give up now.

No matter how many steps forward I feel I should be, one thing is for sure, I am much further along in my journey than I would be if I had given up a long time ago. I found this inspirational video done by Morris Chestnut on declaring your dreams that I think will help motivate me through my weekend. Hopefully it will help motivate you through yours as well. Take care and hustle hard!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Springing Into Overdrive

April 10, 2014April 9, 2014 jcladyluv

While Spring is the time of year where everyone seems to have that sudden bursts of creative energy it seems to be that time of year when I start to reflect on what I haven’t gotten done yet. I know, it seems like a negative thing, it really does. However, if you think about it, it could be the swift kick in the pants that some of us procrastinators (at least me anyway) need to get into higher gear.

I have a lot of things to carry out this year and because I set unbelievably high goals for myself on a yearly basis that even the most brilliant and best-selling novelists might not be able to get achieved in one year, I am realistic enough to know that every single item on that list will most likely not be carried out. However, I do know that over half of the things are able to be completed if I just stop my procrastinating ways and do what I know needs to be done.

What needs to be done is a lot less sleep and a lot of early rising mornings. This is hard for me to fathom because I barely sleep as it is but I remember the days when I used to pull all-nighters and slept even less than I do now and stuff got done then. But I have come to the realization, as May approaches and almost half the year has flown by, that if I don’t start sleeping a lot less in order to work a lot more than I might not even get half the things on my list accomplished. I can’t accept that.

So springing into action is what I will be focusing on and getting into overdrive. Just hope I don’t burn myself out in the process. But all sacrifices will be worth it in the end, right? Well I hope that your creativity has sprung into high gear and that you are getting all that you need to get done. If not, then let’s get moving, the year is only going to move faster from here on out. So stay driven and keep that butt in the chair, writing!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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To the Beat of My Own Drum

March 27, 2014 jcladyluv

Back in High School I had so many things going on at home outside of school that made me feel unworthy that I really didn’t need the extra negativity at school. I was never the most popular person in school. For some reason or another I was always disliked by those who others would consider the ones to follow. You know those in crowd clicks, if they didn’t like you then pretty much no one else did. But I was fine with my small circle of friends because they were there when everything at home was crazy. To be honest I cared far too much what others thought of me back then.

I can’t say that I don’t still, to some small (and I mean very small) degree care what certain people think of me but for the most part, now I just don’t give a damn. I have learned in trying to please everyone at the same time that you just can’t and you end up being displeased with yourself. If people are going to choose not to like you then they will find ANY reason not to. In thinking about where I am trying to get to in life, the most successful people are not necessarily the most liked people. They typically stand for something that others may or may not understand.

I feel sometimes like I can’t really win because if I don’t state where I stand on something then I am being anti-social and not giving enough input but when I give input and it’s not going along with what is being said across the board or just not what others want to hear then I am being difficult and bringing negativity. It can never just be that I have a voice of my own that just doesn’t agree with yours. It can never just be that my opinion is respected and left at that. But if I stopped to care, or broke down over, every single person that found fault in me for one reason or another, then I would never make it down this path towards my goals that I am on.

Everyone is not going to agree with you, like you, love you, or even respect you. But what matters is how you feel about yourself and how you represent yourself to others. I’m a person that’s not going to cave just because you want me to. If I feel a certain way then that’s just how I feel and if that in someone else’s eyes makes me problematic or negative then I can’t change the opinion that they may have. I for one think that it means that I don’t waver on what I stand for, I don’t bend to everyone’s will, and I most certainly don’t follow with the rest of the crowd.

I am my own person, I have my own voice, and because of that I will get to my destination because I won’t be caught up with trying to please the general public. You just can’t please everyone. But it’s a good thing that the only thing that I am here for is to serve the purpose that God has for me and to reach the destination that he has already pre-destined for me. I’m going to get to where I am going and those who are my true supporters, who truly are for me and not against me, will still be there while everyone else falls by the waste-side. So today I hope you are not neglecting you own voice to satisfy others and I hope that you don’t forget just how important your voice is, even if it does stand out from everyone else’s. Stay blessed and stay true to what you have to say!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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