Tag: Write 2 Be

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The Circle Surrounding You

June 17, 2014 jcladyluv

Last week was a very blatant reminder of why I keep my walls up and am not so quick to let just anybody in my little bubble. I get hassled all the time about the need to trust people and allow people to get close to me. However, some things transpired last week with the few people that I have recently let get close to me which quickly knocked me over the head with a reminder that I just can’t trust a whole lot of people.

I hear all the time that maybe people are so spiteful towards me because there’s something that they see in me that they are jealous or envious of and I could never wrap my mind around that concept because I always feel that there are so many things that I lack. I mean yes I have a lot going for me, and while my confidence does waiver from day to day sometimes from the ultimate low to other days being at the ultimate high, I still have a stronghold on what my dreams and my purpose here are and I’m not giving up until I get there. But I never think of those things as something that anyone would have to be envious of.

I am envious of the people that have it already together and are where they always wanted to be. However, I have to remind myself that people’s perception of things, my perception of things, are not always evenly linked. What I see as them having it together might be them trying not to let people see that they are falling apart and what I see in myself as falling apart might be, in their eyes, me getting it together slowly but with a solid foundation. A solid foundation is everything and can often times be the difference between you having everything you wanted for only a moment’s time and you having everything you wanted for a lifetime.

People say that you should only really depend on yourself and I never really wanted to let myself get so cynical where I truly felt that way but I am starting to understand what is meant by that. It’s not saying that you don’t need someone around you, someone in your life to lean on from time to time, but rather that you have to be able to lean on yourself, to believe in yourself, and to build your own confidence up for yourself and that you can’t expect validation from others and for them to believe in you for you. Essentially, your circle can’t be filled with people who aren’t for you and who don’t push you to be for yourself. Also with that, you can’t rely on the circle that surrounds you for something that you have to find within yourself.

When you can’t find it in yourself first then you start to let people in your circle who are not really for you and who don’t want to see you move forward and they will cause you to second guess yourself and to rethink what your purpose really is. Don’t get so caught up in having a circle of people around you that you can’t see who in that circle is truly for you and who is against you. Don’t try and make your circle fill the void of what you are looking for within yourself because then you end up trying to please them instead of fulfilling your purpose.

Watch closely the people who are around you. Are they like-minded people? Are they rooting for you? Are they challenging you to move forward? Or are they making you question everything that you already know in your heart is meant for you? Think about who you are allowing yourself to trust and decide have they earned it or are they just trying to distract you from your purpose?

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Is Practicality Really Just a Sugarcoated Way of Disguising Our Fears?

June 4, 2014 jcladyluv

I listened to a commencement speech that actor Jim Carey gave at Maharishi University of Management that was very inspiring. He said something that really resonated with me. He said that “So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality—what we really want seems impossibly out of reach and ridiculous to expect so we never dare to ask the universe for it.” When I heard that I thought of how true that statement was.

I think that there are a lot of people out there who stay in a position where they don’t really want to be, with claims of simultaneously working on going for their dreams, when all they are truly displaying is their fear of moving forward. I know that I sometimes wonder if I should have continued doing a regular 9 to 5 type of job and focus on my writing career at night until I got a stable footing to do the writing full time. I have various people, friends and associates, some who understand first-hand about the vision that I have because their vision is not far off from mine for their own lives, tell me that I need to go back to the regular 9 to 5 thing to get myself on even better footing. I won’t say that I didn’t think about it (heavily) but I truly feel that I would be doing myself, my art, and my daughter a great disservice if I did that.

Now of course this means that you have to know who you are and know exactly what will and will not work for you because there are some people who can do both simultaneously and make it work extremely well. Their focus is split but yet somehow still all there. I know that for myself that was never going to work out well for long. In actuality it didn’t work which is why I didn’t continue on that way.

Another thing Jim Carey said in his speech was that “You can fail at what you don’t want so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.” I suppose that in that way I have never been fearful. I knew that I would never be able to be happy staying in a position, doing a job that I loathed simply to make an attempt at doing what I love, all the while not being able to dedicate my entire focus to that dream. For me, it was more important to be happy and struggle to make my dreams happen than to live comfortably and be miserable and neglect my dream.

I know that it seems crazy to some, hell most days it seems crazy to me, but I can’t explain how freeing it is to be able to devote my full attention to that of making my dreams a reality and how much pride I take in teaching my daughter that the sacrifices she will eventually make for her dreams will be worth it in the long run. I want her to know that it is okay to dive head first into the life that she wants and that she shouldn’t spend one moment of it (unless she wants to of course) doing something that she can’t put her whole heart into.

I think I will remind myself of Jim Carey’s words the next time I start to question the decisions that I have made to move towards my career in writing. If I am in fact going to fail (which is only really a stepping stone to success anyway) then I might as well be failing at something that I love to do, that I am driven to do, that I can put my whole heart into. I would much rather spend my life working on achieving what matters most to me than spend it helping someone else achieve what matters most to them. I can’t build my own dream up if I am spending the majority of my time building up someone else’s.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Where There is Victory There Are Always Battle Scars

June 3, 2014 jcladyluv

I stay in my own head a lot. I talk myself out of a lot of things, out of opportunities. I tell myself that it won’t happen before even knowing whether it will or not. I convince myself that I’m not good enough or deserving enough. It’s an extremely terrible habit and one that developed from the negative words cast on me in my childhood, but it’s one that I am trying to break. I think that I do that so that if things don’t happen the way I wanted or expected them to I will be less devastated or disappointed by it. However, I have discovered that rejection is not any less painful or devastating just because you prepped your mind for it.

In all actuality, I have realized that that is just a defense mechanism that I need to get away from. It is my subconscious way of sabotaging myself that I didn’t even know I was doing until I started to really try and work on myself and building up that confidence that I seem to lack. I struggle to live up to the potential that I know I have because I so desperately need not to fail. When you feel like you have been failing most of your life (even if that’s not the reality) the last thing you want to continue to do is fail. However, when I put into perspective that not reaching a particular goal is not failure but rather a stepping stone on the way to succeeding then it almost makes failing seem like more of an accomplishment.

When I think of all of the success stories that inspire me, people who have gotten to the place where I am journeying to, I am reminded of all of their failures that were made on their way to finally succeeding. Without those failures they may have never actually achieved the things they set out to do and they most certainly would not appreciate all that it took to get to the point they are at now. I guess it is humbling to get to the top of a jagged road with a lot of bumps, bruises, potholes, and other obstacles thrown in your way rather than the straight road with no detours that you had in your head when you dreamt up those dreams.

I guess I have to stop asking myself do I really have what it takes to make this dream happen and give myself permission to let go of that idea of a straight road, permission to embrace all of the bruises and bumps and potholes as battle scars to be proud of for when I do reach the destination on my journey. I guess I have to give myself credit for how quickly I bounce back and recover from those moments of so-called failures and view them as accomplishing the goal of not staying down when I get knocked on my butt. It’s not the fall that will cripple a person’s drive to succeed, but rather it is how long it takes them to get back up and get back at the grind of making that dream happen.

The most important thing is that you get up and don’t just lay there waiting for someone else to help you back to your feet. Waiting on anyone else to help you with your dreams could result in you never getting back up to move towards them. Take those battle scars that you are accumulating and wear them proudly because when you look back on your journey those scars are going to be there to remind you of just how badly you want to succeed and of everything you went through to make it happen. Those reflections will ensure that you never take for granted the journey you took and that you appreciate even more the victory that has taken place.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Is There a Point Where Fear No Longer Exists?

May 29, 2014 jcladyluv

As I sit here thinking about all of the things that I know I should have been able to get accomplished by now but haven’t I start to wonder if I have enough time to really turn things around. To be honest (in which I always am here) it always seems like the very things that I advise other people against and the things I most try to motivate other creative types like myself towards is the thing I can’t seem to get away from. I try to profess to others that they can’t let the fear of anything keep them from having everything that they’ve ever wanted. Yet I know with an absolute certainty that it is what has been holding me back thus far and what, even with me managing to improve upon it vastly over the last several years, still hinders me now.

I am always amazed at the fact that I can adamantly promote and sell someone else’s work or their products but can never seem to do that same thing for my own works and what I do. I mean yes of course I do some but never has hardcore as I am able to promote others. I had to stop and think why is that? It’s because I’m fearful. Afraid that people won’t like it, afraid that they will criticize every aspect of it, even afraid that they will like it and then suddenly I would have to live up to that higher standard all of the time which is a lot of pressure.

There are so many books of mine that should have been written by now, one’s that I’ve started and just conveniently coaxed myself out of completing. There are plays that I should written by now, songs that should’ve been written and produced by now, magazines that should have been created years ago, that just haven’t gotten done. It makes me ask myself “What the hell am I doing here”. Not what am I doing with my life or my purpose, because I am clear on that, but rather why the hell am I holding my own self back. There is going to be enough people out in this world who will want to see to it that I fail, and who will cross their fingers in hopes that I never accomplish any of the things that I am here to achieve but why the hell am I standing on their side and not my own. It is a tough realization to come to.

With the passing of Maya Angelou yesterday it made me take another look at all of the things that she managed to achieve in her 86 years on this earth and all of the lives that she has touched and it reminded me of that drive that I had when I first started writing. Like I said yesterday, it was her influence, her words, her story, that helped me begin to put that passion I had for writing in drive and out of neutral. Oddly enough I think her passing away might once again help to get me that drive back. Don’t get me wrong, I never lost my passion for writing, never even lost the drive per say, but I was losing the confidence and the faith in myself that I once had.

You know how sometimes you want something for yourself so badly and the desire to become what you feel you are destined to be burns inside so much that you begin to find reasons why it will never happen, why what you want is impossible. Well nothing is impossible and I have got to stop finding reasons why I can’t have what I know is meant for me. Fear can be a really dangerous thing and it can be a really tricky thing to get past but what it all boils down to for me is am I going to let the fear of not reaching my goals actually be the very thing that keeps me from them. What is it that fear is keeping you from achieving and more importantly, are you going to keep letting it keep you from your dreams?

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Are We Only Giving Our Children Half of the Information that They Need?

May 27, 2014 jcladyluv

We instill in our children when they are younger that they can be anything that they want to be when they grow up as long as they put their mind to it. We as adults understand that putting our mind to something requires more than just thinking up a dream and wishing it to be so. However, our children (while smarter than we often give them credit for) do not grasp at a young age what putting their mind to something actually entails.

I think that we are in a time period where we can’t just say you can be whatever you want as long as you go for it. We have to start telling our children early what going for it is actually going to mean. When I was younger I had huge dreams and while I never had my dreams reinforced by my mother (or anyone in my family to be honest) there were a few teachers who told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be but they never told me about all of the hard work that had to go behind those big dreams and extreme ambitions.

I think that we want so much for the children of the future to pursue their dreams that we forget to inform them of all of the tenacity that they will need and the patience that they will have to learn to develop. We neglect to tell them of all the hard work and studying of the things that they want to achieve that they will need to do in order to get anywhere near accomplishing their dreams.

We forget to remind them that pure talent will not do anything for them if they don’t have the drive to do something with that talent. If their ambitions are to be their own business person we must be sure to reiterate to them how important marketing and promotion of themselves will be which requires confidence because they have to be confident about themselves if they want others to be confident about them and whatever services they were trying to offer.

Our dreams come to us out of nowhere and it doesn’t take anything to have the vision, or even the desire to make those dreams happen. But those dreams cannot come to fruition without certain habits that have to be developed in pursuit of those dreams. They say the problem with the generation coming up is that they expect everything to be handed to them and that they don’t think they have to work for anything and to some extent that is because we fail to tell them that yes they can be whoever they want to be and have all of the things that they want to have but they have to have the work ethic to match the drive to become what they want.

Nothing comes to us easy and while there are some extremely lucky people which seem to have their dreams fall right into their lap because they know all the right people or they have better timing than others, for almost everyone out there going for that dream you have to put in the work and hustle hard.

So make sure to let your children, or grand-children, or any children in your life know that yes they can most certainly be anything they want to be but make sure they are aware that it won’t be easy, it won’t come overnight, and if it’s worth it to them they have to put in more work than they could even imagine they would have to. Arm them with the fact that just dreaming and having the talent and ability will not get them any closer to that dream without the work that goes with it. These children are our future and we have to make sure they are fully prepared with all of the information.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Worth Its Wait

May 22, 2014 jcladyluv

I have been writing for years now. Technically, if you want to count the budding stages of my writing I have been writing (I mean really formulating good sentence structure) since I was 10. I can’t even say that I’ve only made this my career choice for the last several years because I knew at the age of 6 that this was what I was going to do with my life. However, in terms of really making a go at maintaining a living as a writer without the distraction of a regular job, I’ve been at this for quite a number of years.

I can say that I was a little naïve to just assume that because I had outstanding talent in my writing and the fact that I considered myself, not necessarily the best writer, but certainly I was head and shoulders above the vast majority. Out of all the things I have ever doubted when it comes to being a writer, one thing that I have never doubted was my ability to write well. I was naïve in thinking that sleepless nights and talent were the main things that you needed in this line of work. I somehow took for granted the need for confidence and most importantly, patience.

Not every writer can be an overnight success and have the following that J.K. Rowling, James Patterson, Steven King, or Terry McMillan has. In fact I am pretty sure that they have all been rejected far more times than they would care to go back and count. And yes it is frustrating to see some writers come on the scene, with not quite as much talent as I have, but because they are better at selling themselves (that’s where the confidence comes in handy) and marketing and promoting their work, they make a bigger splash in the literary world.

I suppose when I first decided to be a writer I thought that if I write one really engaging, well written novel that it was inevitable that I would have that seemingly overnight success happen for me. But then I look at stories like Tyler Perry’s and J.K. Rowling, in which they went through many years of struggling to get their work out there and to be accepted before actually seeing that level of success. It makes those thoughts that I have of giving up and throwing in the towel vanish, and quickly.

I’m not saying that I want the same exact level of success in my work as Tyler Perry or J.K. Rowling (not that I would mind it) but I know that any level that is near to theirs takes time if I want it to last and not be a fleeting moment. There is no dream that one could have, if it is something they are truly passionate about and really want to make happen, that isn’t worth waiting to see it through. I’ve been waiting this long for things to come together, why would I ever give up now.

If you are in that place where you’re not sure you made the right move pursuing your dream full time or where you are feeling that it should’ve happened by now and that if it hasn’t yet then it probably isn’t going to. Don’t allow those negative thoughts to seep into your dreams and corrupt all of the hard work that you have put in thus far. Stay persistent and stay motivated, but more importantly, stay patient. Every dream is worth waiting for but you can’t give up before you reach them.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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We Are Called to Be Set Apart

May 21, 2014 jcladyluv

Most people spend most of their childhood and the better part of their adult lives trying to fit in. I know I certainly did. Sure people will always say I’m my own person and I am not trying to be like anyone else, and I don’t care if anyone else likes me or what I do, but when you think about it that’s not really 100% true.

When we’re younger we want to wear what the other kids are wearing, we sometimes start speaking like the “so-called” friends around us because God forbid we sound different and like our own person. When we get older and we first get to be on our own in college we sometimes study the career avenue that we think would make our parents proud and not ask us are we crazy. Even when we march to the beat of our own drum we are still often times trying to harmonize with others so that we don’t stand out and throw everyone else off beat.

Often times with us creative types we almost can’t help seeking the need to fit in with our peer group because we look to them to approve what we’ve written, or the dance we’ve composed, or the piece of music that we have written, or the photographs that we have shot. But what it all boils down to is the fact that our creativity and our sometimes social awkwardness, in addition to our somewhat abnormal way of viewing things is what makes us uniquely different from the ordinary and average person.

There are some people in the world who were meant to be average and the go with the flow type and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being ordinary. However, there are some of us (and I include myself in this category) that are simply destined to be different, and great, and to far exceed the limitations that society and sometimes the people around us would like to keep us within. Every person in the world is not extraordinary. Hard fact I know but it’s true.

So for those of us who know we are meant to be more than average and are being designed for extraordinary missions in this life, why do we keep trying to fit in with what society says we should be like? God called us to be set apart from the rest so why do we keep trying to squeeze into this bubble that we have no business being in.

Next time you get upset because something you wrote or created didn’t please the masses think about the fact that if you were meant to be like them then God would have created you to be just like them. He created you to be who you are and to complete your own mission that he has designated for you. Don’t be a carbon copy of someone who you weren’t meant to be!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Motivation is the Key, But By Who?

May 20, 2014 jcladyluv

I think that in some way, shape, or form, for the better part of my life I have always sought out the encouragement of others. I was always the one wanting those accolades and that reinforcement that I was on the right path and that someone else thought I was talented. I was always looking for someone to show me, or tell me, that I was good enough because for so long I was told that I wasn’t.

As I have gotten older and learned a lot more about myself and my own capabilities I have sought out other’s motivations a lot less and started to learn to begin how to motivate myself that much more. However, there are times when I get too much inside my own head and those doubts and those negative words come back to the forefront of my mind and I start to wonder am I really good enough. I hold myself back from doing a lot of things and I’m not sure if it’s that I truly don’t have all of the resources that I need to really go after these things I want or if it’s that I am afraid that those voices of people who said I wasn’t good enough will be proven right.

I will say that I am getting better with not questioning my own talent and ability so much but I know that I have a long way to go before I have absolutely no doubts in my mind at all. I keep thinking that I am finally past that point where I need someone else to make me feel like I am as good as I think I am most of the time but then it creeps up on me. I need to learn, really learn how to keep myself motivated and not looking to others to reinforce what I already know, deep down inside, to be true.

It is true what they say about motivation being the key to success and the key to leading a life without fears but motivation but who is the question. I think that we writers especially feel like we need to hear those accolades and those words of adoration in order to consider ourselves good which makes sense because writing is in fact a career in which you depend on your readers liking your work to gauge your success.

I find that with the writers who have had that level of success that they sometimes didn’t realize they were looking for, it was often said that they wrote the book that they wanted to read, they wrote for themselves more so than anyone else and that is why their work was such a success. When we do things to please ourselves and not the general public we get more results and we are a lot more satisfied. Maybe there is a lesson in that. You have to give yourself the accolades before you can expect anyone else to give them to you. So have you given yourself the accolades that you deserve lately? If not then start today!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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My Greatness Far Exceeds Average

May 15, 2014 jcladyluv

“Dare to be unrealistic—Being Realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity”

~Will Smith

I’ve always hated the term average, at least when it referred to me. I think of average as a term to describe someone who is content on things a certain way and never expecting anything greater than that. It is true that I am a person who has a hard time adapting to change and who likes routine but not because I am by any means average. I like to establish some consistency on my journey towards achieving the greatness I know I am destined for. I do believe that having a sense of consistent behavior enables a person to continue to pursue their goals and their dreams. But as far as ever being content, in that regard I welcome change.

I can’t see myself ever just settling for the way someone else tells me things should be, not when I have my own high expectations for where I end up in life. I think that sometimes my expectations for myself might be far too high and that this is the reason that I get so fearful of tackling the unknown, because I am afraid I won’t live up to my own expectations. However, that isn’t a way go about achieving the great things that I am here to do.

People say that some of the things that I dream up in my mind and that I have on my list of goals are far beyond my reach and that they are a bit unrealistic. For a while I believed that they might be right. But what is being realistic really going to get me? Being realistic might maintain my comfort level and keep me in a place of being content but then that’s not what I want. As much as I hate being in a place where I feel unsure and uncomfortable, I realize that often times it is in those moments of being uncomfortable in which I somehow shine and somehow rise above what seems like impossible circumstances.

If I stay “realistic” about things then I will never go after some of these big dreams I have and I will most certainly never achieve the destiny that was meant for me to fulfill. What harm is there in being unrealistic when it comes to your dreams and what you want out of life? After all, it is your life and shouldn’t you want the most that you can get out of it.

I am not here to be average and mediocre. I am not here to satisfy someone else’s standards of living. I am not here to live up to someone else’s low expectations of me. I am here to be great, and to challenge some people’s ideas of what greatness truly is. I am here to change this world in whatever way that I can. I am here to be unrealistic and uncompromising. So the next time someone tells you that what you are aiming for is unrealistic then you tell them, that’s what you’re here for. Take care and shoot for the moon!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310