Tag: Doubt

NaNoWriMo Day 12: Proving something to myself

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NaNoWriMo is teaching me a lot about myself and my writing this year.  For one, this novel is showing me that I should not be afraid to branch out into different genres or styles of writing just because it’s something I’ve never done.  I wouldn’t have known that I could be good at writing a mystery if I had never made the attempt.  The second thing it has taught me is that I, the person who is not a morning person at all, writes better in the morning.  Not only that but that I can actually, despite the longing to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock, have the willpower and enough passion for my writing that it makes me drag myself out of the bed anyway at five in the morning.  The third thing that NaNoWriMo has helped me prove to myself is that I can actually blog everyday.  The closest I had gotten to doing it before was three days a week.  That was all I strived for because I had convinced myself that that was as close to daily blogging that I was ever going to get.  I never even tried it before until doing this for NaNoWriMo and I am discovering that I should’ve been doing this a long time ago.  Today was a tough day for writing.  I had some things happen that were just emotionally draining.  I didn’t feel like writing when I got home and my daughter was ready for Game/Pizza night.  However, this novel is important to me and being able to say I finished what I started and set out to do is extremely important to me so I told my daughter to give me an hour to write and that we would start after.  I sat down and, though the words were not coming easy, I finished my minimum word count for the day and I felt good that I pushed myself to just sit down and write.  Mackenzie had some things that she wanted to get off her chest anyway and she didn’t feel that it could wait.  Well I think I’m gonna call it a night and pray for tomorrow to be better.  Until tomorrow…What has this year’s NaNoWriMo inspired you to prove to yourself?    

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

I Regret Not Being Fearless

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“Being fearless isn’t being 100% unafraid; it’s being terrified, but you jump in anyway!”

~Taylor Swift 

I was watching an interview the other night on Lady GaGa and her rise to fame and her upbringing.  I was excited to watch this interview because while I am a fan of her music, I am an even greater fan of her business savvy and her work ethic.  She has certainly made a name for herself and her story didn’t start off that much different from other people that have a particular dream growing up.  Of course her upbringing was different in terms of the fact that she probably had a lot more things in the pros column than the cons but the struggle to achieve her dream was still there.  

What I love and can appreciate most about her is her bravery and her fearlessness.  She has never been and still isn’t afraid to do anything when it comes to accomplishing her dreams and she seems to jump head first into everything without ever really looking back.  Watching the interview I found myself wishing that I had that same fearlessness and bravery, both as a child growing up and especially now.  

So many times I had opportunities when I was younger to maybe go to some poetry event or open mic night and read some of my poetry or even sing (because I could actually sing a lot better when I was younger) but I was too afraid.  Afraid to be on stage in front a crowd full of people, afraid that they wouldn’t like my poetry or like my voice, afraid that I somehow would not be good enough and that maybe the talent that I thought I had was all made up in my head and that no one else would share the same thought.  I wasted so much time on all of the cons and I missed out on all of the pros, all because I wasn’t fearless enough.  

I guess it’s too late to wonder what could’ve and might’ve been if I had just been brave enough to jump head first into any number of the things that I wanted to do.  The only thing left to do now is strive to be brave and fearless from this point on.  After watching the interview I was wondering aloud to my best friend, was it just simply too late for me to do the things that I really wanted.  I mean I’m 31 now and I’m not getting any younger and my dreams aren’t becoming any more attainable as time goes by.  She told me (being the voice of reason that she always seems to be) that it’s never too late as long as I still have the ability and the passion to do those things that I want to do.  

That voice of fear was in my ear yet again but this time I don’t plan on feeding into it.  I’ve wasted too much time already and now it’s time for me to be brave, and yes even fearless.  So how brave and fearless are you willing to be for your dreams?  Until next time…Be brave, don’t give yourself anything else to regret!

 

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

On the Days I don’t feel like Smiling

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“Too often we jump to the conclusion that something is impossible simply because we cannot see the solution. No one knows enough to be a pessimist.”
~Wayne W Dyer 

I try to be optimistic in life because deep down I know that focusing on the negative is not going to help make any situation better.  Recently I’ve been having such a hard time with a lot of different things that I won’t burden any of you with, but nevertheless, I haven’t exactly been feeling positive about things.  I had a conversation last night with a friend that I haven’t talked to in a long time and every time that she would ask me about some aspect of my life it would happen to be one of the one’s in which things weren’t going so well and I just didn’t feel like faking optimism yesterday. 

She got on me about staying positive and stating that she believed that everything was going to turn out good for me and that there are great things in store.  My only response was that I wished that I could believe that right now.  She didn’t like to hear the negativity because frankly she was used to me always being the positive one and pumping her up but I had to just simply tell her that most days I believe that it’s going to be okay but today (yesterday really) I just don’t feel like putting on the act.  

They say you are supposed to fake it until you make it and most of the times I absolutely believe that statement to be true but what do you do on those days where you just don’t feel like smiling.  There are days when you just can’t fake it, and you can’t hide your frustration or your doubt and really you shouldn’t have to.  I am going to have those days when I can’t pretend that I believe everything is going to be okay.  There are going to be days when I won’t be able to smile as if I don’t feel like the walls are crashing down on me.      

On those days, where I feel completely defeated, and I feel like there isn’t any light at the end of the tunnel, I think about my daughter.  I think about all of the things that I want for her life and what examples I want to set for her.  I think about how much I love her and about how much of a blessing she is to me and that things have to come out okay because I have to make things okay for her.  I think about the determination that I know I have within me that I want her to gain and learn from.  I think about all of the times that I tell her it’s going to be okay when there’s something she gets discouraged about and how just as I tell her to never give up and always keep trying her best, the example I set for her can’t be anything less then that.  

On those days that I don’t feel like smiling, I think about how good God has been to me and how he will never let me down as long as I have faith in him and let him do his work.  I forget sometimes that not only do I have to put the work in, and put my faith in him, and hand over all of my burdens to him, but I have to remember to step aside and get out of his way and let God do his work.  On those days that I really don’t feel like putting on a smile, I have to remember to stop getting in God’s way and just let him work.  I remembered that today, and today I am smiling and there is nothing fake about it!

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://jayceedurant.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://freemynd.wordpress.com/

http://spokenlikeaqueen.blogspot.com/ 

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

www.authorsden.com/jimmettacarpenter

 

Lessons In Failure

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“Some failure in life is inevitable; it is impossible to live without failing at something unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you fail by default.”              

~ J.K. Rowling

The fear of failure is paralyzing.  It is much like a parasite that sucks all of the hope, determination, and courage out of you; chipping away at your will to succeed little by little, day by day, obstacle by obstacle.  But much like any debilitating illness that takes a hold of your body, there is a recovery process.  It may take longer than you think to get there but the key is wanting it bad enough and keeping your eye on the light at the end of the tunnel. 

It is safe to say that we are all going to fail at some point in our lives.  It is both what we do with, and how we chose to perceive that failure that determines whether it will cripple us or make us stronger.  Where some people get off track is in perceiving any moment of failure as anything but a much needed step forward in our road to success.  If we never fail it means we have never taken any risk and that we have always played things safe.  But playing it safe isn’t really living.

We need failure.  Yes it causes us to doubt ourselves, to lose sight of our purpose, even to think about giving up altogether.  But it also brings about a realization.  It humbles us while strengthening us.  It breaks us down and then builds us back up.  It renews our fight and determination to achieve the things that we really want out of life.  Without our failures we might never truly appreciate or grasps the depths of our successes.  If you are afraid to fail then you are essentially afraid to live because in living your life to its fullest potential, failure is inevitable. 

For a large part of my life I have let the fear of failure immobilize me.  Always trying to remain cautious; using the excuse of maintaining a routine as a reason to ward off change, all the while staying stuck in the same place because of it.  From here on out I am not going to be so afraid to fail that I never even try to succeed.  Instead I plan to embrace my failures, every single one of them, because they all mean something.  Whether it is something good or something bad, it is a lesson nonetheless.  Our failures show us what we did wrong so that we can finally get it right.  If anyone reading this is struggling with this same fear, let go of it right now.  It is that fear of failure that is killing your opportunity for success.  Take a risk today, and if you fail, take another one tomorrow.  What else do have to lose?  Think about what you stand to gain.

Jimmetta Carpenter

Writer/Editor

The Diary: Succession of Lies (Now Available)

Writing as “Jaycee Durant”

http://www.passionatewriterpublishing.com/thediary.htm
http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmetta-Carpenter/1069480310

https://writetobe.wordpress.com/

http://jayceedurant.wordpress.com/

http://unpleasantlyplump.wordpress.com/

http://freemynd.wordpress.com/

http://spokenlikeaqueen.blogspot.com/ 

www.lulu.com/ladybugpress

www.authorsden.com/jimmettacarpenter