Tag: Faith

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I Sometimes Struggle to Believe in the Potential God Sees in Me

July 28, 2014 jcladyluv

For the most part I am typically an optimistic person. I have plenty of setbacks that make me doubtful sometimes but I try to remain dedicated and stick to this path because I feel deep down that it is the right one that God wants me on to reach my destined purpose. However, that is not to say that I don’t have moments (a lot more of them than I care to admit) where I question whether I am letting God down.

I know that there are things that I should be doing that I don’t always manage to get done, things that would go a long way in the efforts to get to where I’m trying to go. I am guilty of wasting time that I don’t really have to waste. I am guilty of getting frustrated to the point of just wanting to give up and be just plain lazy. I am guilty of feeling so overwhelmed with all of the things that I want to do that I convince myself that it’s just too much and it can’t be done so why even bother trying. I tell myself a lot of things that eventually lead me to talking myself out of trying. I let the fear of not succeeding at what I want cause me to do the very thing that I don’t want to do which is give up.

I’m not in that mindset of giving up right now but I am starting to feel that sense of being overwhelmed with all of the things that it is that I want to do and all of the plans that I have to get accomplished and the fear that I may not achieve it. I have this list, this very long list, of life goals, of things that I want my company to achieve. I have a purpose for my Write 2 Be brand and in my mind I see it so clearly. I can even map out on paper (although not quite as concise as it forms in my brain) exactly the direction I want everything to go. I have even listed everything, all the steps, I need to go through to get it at least going in the direction I want it to go. Then the reality sets in.

The reality that my dreams may be just a little too big and that with all that needs to be done, I may be out of my depth here. The reality that I might have somehow set the bar for myself just a bit too high, and then the fear that I can’t reach my own bar that I set. The reality that with every second that I am sleep there is something that could be getting done. The reality that I cannot physically go on absolutely no sleep which is probably what it would take for me to achieve ALL that it is I am setting out to do. Then I start to feel that overwhelming sense of failure.

I start to feel like I am not only letting God down, but my daughter, and of course myself. I place a lot of stock in my potential but what happens if I don’t live up to that. What happens if I can’t live up to what God’s purpose for my life is? What if I am simply not good enough? These are the kinds of things that run through my mind, daily, and almost every minute of the day, and I am sure (at least I hope) that I am not the only one who has felt this way. I feel like I have to acknowledge those fears within myself or else they will never go away.

While I know that they will never go away completely, I have to believe that the sense or the urge to give up will fade away from the forefront of my mind. I have to believe that I will one of these days just wake up and look in the mirror and say “I get it God, I get what you see in me and I can do this because you said I could”. While I am not quite all the way there yet, I must say, I am miles away from how I used to feel about all of this. It’s a start and we all have to start somewhere. I hope that this week is as productive for you as I plan on it being for me and I hope that you will try to remember, as I will, that God’s purpose for you is nothing to be afraid of!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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What All Can Go Right

July 22, 2014 jcladyluv

I live in the land of worst case scenarios where I prepare for whatever there is that can possibly go wrong and for what I would need to do to fix things if they should go wrong. I don’t think that I am alone in doing this. I think that the world has grown so cynical that in planning for our futures in which we want to soar and fly, we brace ourselves for that harsh landing that quite frankly, often times never actually comes.

I mean sure we fall and we have bad breaks where things don’t quite go the way that we wanted them to. But in reality those are not actually the harsh landings that we are bracing ourselves for. I forget sometimes to prepare for the successes, to purposely plan for things to go right. I spend so much time being completely over prepared for the other shoe that’s definitely (in my mind anyway) going to drop, and for the rock bottom that I’m going to hit (and thankfully never truly have) someday soon if things don’t improve, and for everything that I have ever dreamed of achieving to float right by me as I watch someone else reach out and grab ahold of what was supposed to be my success. None of these things have ever happened. That’s not saying of course that they couldn’t still, but they haven’t.

I’ve been waiting all of this time for everything to go wrong instead of preparing and actually believing that everything could go right. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if I haven’t had my share of the bad breaks and the things that come crashing down around me but what I neglect to realize oftentimes is that about eight times out of ten everything that seemingly went wrong turned out to work out in a better way than I had imagined and planned for them to. I spent so much time thinking of all the negatives and forgot that even in a negative outcome, something positive can come from that. I need to stop always thinking about the walls that may crumble and start thinking that even if they do, what beautiful new direction can come from the wreckage.

There are beautiful things that can come out of even the most painful and disheartening situations. We just have to be open to them and prepare for what is good instead of bracing ourselves for what is bad. When we brace ourselves we are closing ourselves off and tightening up. We don’t have our arms and hands open and free to receive all the good that is coming our way. So start realizing what it is to truly let go. Open up and surrender to ALL that life has in store for you, the good, the bad, and yes, especially the unplanned. Sometimes the best moments in life cannot be planned out beforehand. Let go and let God!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Boxes on a Shelf

June 18, 2014June 18, 2014 jcladyluv

I was watching a Joel Osteen Sermon this past Sunday and as always his message was something that I could really relate to and that resonated with me right at that moment. He spoke about having faith in yourself and in your abilities enough to ask God for what he already said was yours. You know we pray for the things we want out of life and finagle our way around obstacles in order to achieve them. But I think that perhaps if we were more sure about the fact that those opportunities that we want and that we see for our future are already in God’s plan and that they are already ours to grab ahold of we wouldn’t worry so much while we are praying about whether or not they are going to come to pass.

Joel used a metaphor that our opportunities are like moments that are all in boxes, lined up on shelves, in this massive warehouse in heaven, just waiting for the people whose names are on those boxes to actually ask for them. It made me wonder just how big my box of opportunities would be because I know that I am one of those people that while I am praying for my opportunities and wishing that they would come true, I am also crossing my fingers to cover all my bases.

Crossing your fingers is not a sign of true faith, and neither is worrying while you are praying. It’s so funny because I have no trouble believing in other people’s dreams and in the fact that their opportunities will come to fruition but when it comes to mine, it’s like I let all of those demons of doubt cloud what I know in my heart. I don’t want to get to the end of my journey and see my opportunities sitting in these boxes on some shelf just waiting, unclaimed, and unused.

There’s so many other things that I am unsure of in this life but my purpose, my desire to change this world for the better with my message and through writing and other media avenues, that’s not something that I am unsure of. So while you are seeking your opportunities and praying for the doors of opportunity to be opened for you are you crossing your fingers or are you surrendering in faith? It makes a difference on whether or not the right doors will be open or not.

You can’t receive all of the blessings and opportunity that God has planned for you with your fingers crossed because then you are not fully prepared to receive them. So try having absolute faith that what is meant for your life, the opportunities and changes that you have been waiting for, will come to you. And when you have that absolute faith, that unshakable belief, then ask for ALL of what it is that you want. Not some, not just enough to get by, not just one door and then you’ll worry about the next door when you get to it, ask for it ALL. Aren’t you worth EVERYTHING it is that you want?

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Is There a Point Where Fear No Longer Exists?

May 29, 2014 jcladyluv

As I sit here thinking about all of the things that I know I should have been able to get accomplished by now but haven’t I start to wonder if I have enough time to really turn things around. To be honest (in which I always am here) it always seems like the very things that I advise other people against and the things I most try to motivate other creative types like myself towards is the thing I can’t seem to get away from. I try to profess to others that they can’t let the fear of anything keep them from having everything that they’ve ever wanted. Yet I know with an absolute certainty that it is what has been holding me back thus far and what, even with me managing to improve upon it vastly over the last several years, still hinders me now.

I am always amazed at the fact that I can adamantly promote and sell someone else’s work or their products but can never seem to do that same thing for my own works and what I do. I mean yes of course I do some but never has hardcore as I am able to promote others. I had to stop and think why is that? It’s because I’m fearful. Afraid that people won’t like it, afraid that they will criticize every aspect of it, even afraid that they will like it and then suddenly I would have to live up to that higher standard all of the time which is a lot of pressure.

There are so many books of mine that should have been written by now, one’s that I’ve started and just conveniently coaxed myself out of completing. There are plays that I should written by now, songs that should’ve been written and produced by now, magazines that should have been created years ago, that just haven’t gotten done. It makes me ask myself “What the hell am I doing here”. Not what am I doing with my life or my purpose, because I am clear on that, but rather why the hell am I holding my own self back. There is going to be enough people out in this world who will want to see to it that I fail, and who will cross their fingers in hopes that I never accomplish any of the things that I am here to achieve but why the hell am I standing on their side and not my own. It is a tough realization to come to.

With the passing of Maya Angelou yesterday it made me take another look at all of the things that she managed to achieve in her 86 years on this earth and all of the lives that she has touched and it reminded me of that drive that I had when I first started writing. Like I said yesterday, it was her influence, her words, her story, that helped me begin to put that passion I had for writing in drive and out of neutral. Oddly enough I think her passing away might once again help to get me that drive back. Don’t get me wrong, I never lost my passion for writing, never even lost the drive per say, but I was losing the confidence and the faith in myself that I once had.

You know how sometimes you want something for yourself so badly and the desire to become what you feel you are destined to be burns inside so much that you begin to find reasons why it will never happen, why what you want is impossible. Well nothing is impossible and I have got to stop finding reasons why I can’t have what I know is meant for me. Fear can be a really dangerous thing and it can be a really tricky thing to get past but what it all boils down to for me is am I going to let the fear of not reaching my goals actually be the very thing that keeps me from them. What is it that fear is keeping you from achieving and more importantly, are you going to keep letting it keep you from your dreams?

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Reminding Myself of Whose Plan This Is

April 16, 2014 jcladyluv

The last couple of weeks have been a struggle and a true test of my will to stick to my purpose and hang in there for the long haul. I had a wonderful opportunity lined up through a friend and to make a long story short the opportunity fell through and it would have been a huge stepping stone towards greater things. My first thoughts were to just give up. I wanted to quit because it just seems that lately nothing is going the way that it is supposed to and everything is completely falling apart. It seems like the walls are caving in all around me to the point where I won’t be able to climb out from underneath the rubble.

I sat and wondered why would God give me this purpose, afford me the ability to obtain the tools to carry out this purpose, and then keep removing every opportunity that could bring me closer to achieving that purpose. I don’t want to make it seem as though I would ever question God and his plan or the way that his plans come to fruition but when you are trying to do everything that you think is right but nothing seems to be working (at least not as well as you would like it to) you start to wonder a little.

I keep coming across quotes and inspirational messages that seem to be screaming at me the answers to my questions, in particular “you may not like where you are but you wouldn’t be there if God didn’t have a purpose for it” and of course my favorite “without tests there are no testimonies”. These sayings keep being brought to my attention in this period of struggle and I am reminded that my plans and Gods plans are not necessarily the same. Even if they were the same as far as the destination, he may have a completely different route planned on how I get to that end result.

What God is doing, I may not even begin to understand it until it all starts to fall into place but the toughest part is having the patience (which I strongly lack) and the faith to wait out God’s plan and not get so frustrated that I give up altogether. Now I’ve never been a quitter so I don’t think that I am going to start now but I sure would not mind seeing some sort of light (even a peek) at the end of the tunnel. However, I understand that as long as God knows where the light is at the end of that tunnel and is guiding me towards it then it doesn’t matter the path that he uses to get me there. I just have to trust that he will get me there.

I won’t lie and say that I completely understand the methods. I won’t even lie and say that I don’t wish that they could be a lot less stressful on me. While I don’t like to be in a position of struggle I understand that for some people, the struggle is a part of the journey in order for them to be a blueprint to others. So today, and every day, embrace your struggles and be proud of the tribulations that you have endured and will endure because you never know who your story is going to be a blueprint for. Stay strong and hang in there, the struggle will be worth it.

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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I Was This Close To Just Giving Up

April 9, 2014 jcladyluv

I want to give up. I want to just throw my hands up as I am knocked down by life yet again and admit that I’m just plain tired and that I don’t have any fight left in me anymore. I want to just succumb to being average and stop trying to fulfill this extraordinary shit that I thought was my damn purpose in this world. I want to just stop having faith in the future that I can’t see ahead of me because how do I even know that any of that shit is going to happen anyway, just because I believe that is what is meant for me. I want to just say my mother was right and I am never going to amount to anything. I want to just say the hell with everything because I just can’t keep trying anymore and keep continually being disappointed every time I think everything is about to turn the corner and it doesn’t.

But I was reminded by a friend yesterday (we’ll just call him Mr. J) that I can’t think that way. I can’t have a defeatist mind set. I have to just accept what has happened, or the changes that are occurring, especially the changes that aren’t good, determine the solution, and then fix the problem the best way that I can, the best way that I know how. He reminded me that you can’t just let life knock you down and then lay there and not get back up. If I were to do that, then the devil wins and he is smiling because he knows that he overpowered my will to serve out my purpose.

The devil has been extremely busy with me these past few weeks, hell months, and I’ve been told that when the devil is really busy with you, that not only means that you are doing something right but that you have a hell of a victory coming your way. If that is in fact true then my victory is going to be unbelievably sweet. It’s hard when you fall to not just want to stay down because getting back up is hard, particularly when you keep getting knocked back down before you can even catch your breath and get all the way back up.

I couldn’t have wrote this post yesterday because I felt completely defeated and everything in the first paragraph of this post was what I was feeling and what I was going to accept. However I reminded myself this morning that I am not average, nor am I meant to live anything but an extraordinary life. I am not a quitter, I am a fighter by nature and I could never look at myself in the mirror if I didn’t give this absolutely everything that I’ve got and nothing less. My mother is most certainly not right about me because I will amount to everything that God has predestined for me. And I may not have complete and total faith in mankind and the man-made obstacles that are going to fall in my path but I do have absolute faith in God and his power to remove those obstacles when he sees fit.

I would say that I picked a profession that lends nothing but struggle and rejection (at least in the beginning) to it but it was what I truly believe I was placed on this earth to do. It picked me, or should I say God picked it for me. I just had an opportunity that I felt would’ve been changed a lot of things for me, for the better, pretty much snatched away from me. It was made even worse by the fact that the friend who came to me with the project (admittedly because she knew it could possibly be a game changer for me) didn’t fight for me to stay on the project, as I felt she should have. Everyone wants to say that perhaps that was God’s way of saying that opportunity wasn’t meant for me and I’m still very far off from believing that this opportunity wasn’t meant for me but I will say that I am not going to let this new fall keep me down. It is their loss, not mine.

So if you too have been thinking about giving up this week, or this month, I am here to say I understand exactly how you feel. I also know that if you do, you will never forgive yourself and you will always be left with this feeling of what if. The wondering will end up crippling you because you will forever live in the past trying to guess what would’ve happened if you had just hung in there a little longer. Just don’t quit. Don’t give up. Keep fighting because it won’t always be this hard (I have to believe that) and on the day when everything starts to fall in place you will look back on this time period where you had the crazy notion to give up and be thankful that you didn’t. So just hang in there, the victory is coming!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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If I Put My All Into It Will it Really Be Enough?

March 5, 2014 jcladyluv

I’m having one of those weeks (yes I know the week isn’t over yet) where it feels like nothing I do will be enough. I’m not a very patient person and it’s something I’m working on. When I don’t see the results I want at a decent pace I get anxious about the whole process. It’s not just in my writing and my finances, but also in the area of romance (or lack thereof). This blog is not about my romantic woes so I won’t branch off too much into that except to say I feel like I could be described as the perfect person for someone and they still (somehow) wouldn’t even see me standing right in front of them.

But this blog isn’t about that though. It sort of spills over into other aspects because that love thing can be the emotion that makes you feel alive and ready to jump for joy, or ready to just go hide under the covers somewhere and wake up when someone notices all of the right things that you are doing. I know that there is always more that I can be doing (talking about writing now) but it seems like no matter how many hours of sleep I don’t get that it will never be enough. Of course that doesn’t mean that I am going to give up or slack off (okay well there’s a slight chance for slacking off here) but just wish I could see some progress. I know it’s being made and the baby steps are nice but some gigantic leaps would be a little nicer. Some major dents in my journey would be gratifying to see.

I couldn’t watch the Oscars the other night but Lupita Nyong’o’s words were posted everywhere throughout social media. “No matter where you are from your dreams are valid”. Those words and my friend Ms. L’s blog post about her acceptance speech that she will give when she gets her Oscar one day (probably sooner than even she thinks) made me think about the awards and achievements that I will one day receive (Oscar included) and what I would say and who I would speak my words to. However, at this particular moment, where I feel a little disheartened, a little discouraged, perhaps even a little less optimistic than usual about my dreams becoming a reality, all I can really think about is when am I going to start to see that light for the tunnel that’s headed that way.

It’s not as if I’m in question as to the possibility of it happening, or the fact that I still want it to happen, it’s just a matter of when. I know that my patience is probably one of the main things that I need to work on when it comes to pursuing my dream but some days, days like today, I just start to wonder if all that I am doing is good enough. Is anything I am ever going to do going to be good enough. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel a lot more definitive and sure about things but for now my lack of knowing what the outcome will be is getting the best of me. Okay ranting over with for the day, time to get back to working at making all of this happen one way or another. Stay blessed and keep hustling!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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The Best Things Can Sometimes Come Out of a Bad Situation

February 27, 2014February 27, 2014 jcladyluv

I seem to find myself having to make the best out of a bad situation more often than I care to. It always feels like just when I think I can cruise on down my path for a little while without any bumps and bruises, there goes another obstacle in my way and often times it feels like it’s a mountain just sitting there, knowing that I cannot move mountains out of my way. I’m simply not that strong. At least that’s what I convince myself at the time when I am staring down the very thing that is causing me to stop dead in my tracks.

I guess the truth is that I sometimes don’t know my own strength and that the strength that I need is not necessarily physical but rather spiritual and it comes from God. I have realized throughout the years (and have been reminded whenever I forget by Ms. L.) that I am so much stronger than I think I am and that each time I make it through a struggle I am always, somehow, better off for it. I suppose those that have never struggled through anything cannot fully appreciate the things that they are fortunate enough to ascertain in this life.

Nothing that you want, that is worth having, is ever going to come to you easily and if it does you better believe that there is some kind of string attached to it, visible or not. I’m in a bad spot right not, it’s certainly not a spot I want to be in, but I can already see the lesson brewing out of it. I guess the real failure in failing at anything is not learning from that failure and not fully capturing the lessons that there are to be built upon and shared. Times are hard right now, but they could be so much worse, and when they get better I know how to avoid a repeat. Trouble doesn’t last always and this too shall pass. Stay blessed and be grateful!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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Expecting What Is Deserved

February 10, 2014 jcladyluv

Today is going to be my day. This year is going to be my year. No really I mean it this time. I have said that with the passing of each New Year. That it was going to be my year. For the couple of years it had turned out not to be my year. While I sat back and wondered why the year didn’t turn out how I imagined it would I was completely missing the bigger picture. Now granted I know that last year wasn’t my year because I just threw in the towel but that’s no excuse either.

Watching Joel Osteen yesterday talk about expectancy and true, unwaivering faith in the things that God can bestow upon our lives it hit me. Every time I claimed that my day was going to be a good one and every year when I proclaimed it would be my year, I didn’t really believe what I was saying. I wanted to believe it was true but I was so full of despair and doubt that I only halfway believed it. But if you want God to give you what you expect out of life, what you deserve, and what he wants you to ask for, you can’t halfway believe in his power. You have to have complete and total faith that God has got you and that what he has for you is yours and yours alone.

So I say today is my day this morning and that this year is my year, totally believing in God’s power and having faith in his plan for me. However, I also say that with the knowledge that I can’t just expect that everything that is for me is going to just come to me with putting in the work to earn it.

I am working on a couple of projects, one being an ebook series that I will be releasing soon (really soon) and I can’t just expect outstanding results without putting in the work to get them. So today, for all of you out there who are still struggling with self-doubt and self-sabotage (ebook series on how to work past this coming soon) claim today to be your day, say it with conviction and complete faith. You have to start somewhere!

Jimmetta Carpenter

My Write 2 Be is…

CEO/Writer/Editor

Write 2 Be Media/Write 2 Be Magazine

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